This Valentine Thing Sef...

So, who amongst you thinks or believes that Valentine's Day is for all kinds of love?  Personally, I believe that Valentine is for celebrating romantic love, but these Hallmark people, they just know how to create a card for every flippin' situation.  So, even on Valentine's Day, there are cards for parents, siblings, friends, neighbors, and even co-workers.  Yeah, whatever.  I bet you there's a It's-been-a-year-since-you-died card  for the dead, somewhere in the Hallmark aisle.  Oh, speaking of Hallmark, they are something else.  Did you know that Mahogany Cards (the cards for African Americans) are also done and owned by Hallmark, except, of course, the characters are fed with very dark chocolate.  This isn't a complaint, by the way.  Just a weird way of commending Hallmark and throwaying yansh for them.

Back to Valentine's Day : In spite of what I may have written in the first paragraph, I actually don't mind buying a Valentine's Day card for my parents and friends.  Not because I really think I'm celebrating love with them on that day, but because I think it'll make them smile.

I understand how people do not believe in or celebrate Valentine's Day, but I really don't understand how people hate Valentine's Day.  Whatever did Saint Valentine do to them?  That's all part of what I intend to find out on Saturday on the Verastically Speakin' Talk Radio.  There's got to be a plausible reason for hating Valentine's Day, right?  I'll be co-hosting with Myne Whitman --- and maybe Kpakpando.  Kpakpando has not been informed of her name being put on the ballot of co-hosts for this Saturday.  She'll find out once she reads this J

--> I am so excited about the Show Me Your Love Valentine Event.  Pictures have been coming in; I've started working on them, and boy oh boy!  I'm in love --- with everyone's love.  If you're interested in sending a picture of you and yours, send it asap to project@verastic.com

--> K Travula aka Baroka is doing something very, very wonderful.  He's raising money for the people of Jos.  Let's help our brother and help our people.  And the best part is, you get something in return!  Read all about it here.

--> The giveaway is still on --- and you still have a chance to win.  All you have to do is leave a comment.  You can leave as many as you want.  Since the winner will be selected randomly, the more comments you leave, the greater your chances of winning.  We're already 211 comments in.  Happy contesting! > here

--> I've just been briefed by Funmi Iyanda's PR, that her show Talk With Funmi, will be going on air on Sunday, February 7th 2010 on Africa Magic's DSTV at 7pm.  Does anyone know how to get DSTV, if possible, in North America?  I'd really like to watch her.  It's a wonderful thing she's doing.

Love the pictures?  Me too.  Visit her website for more information.

That's it for today!  Join me on Saturday morning for the I-Love-You-Show.  By the way, you're totally welcome to call in and express your love for anyone.  Only love, please! Do not call and express hatred, indifference, and/or irritation.  Okay, fine, you can express irritation J  The show is at its regular time --- 10am U.S. Eastern.  4pm, if you're in Nigeria.  Listen here.  Call 1.646.929.1905 to join the conversation.  Follow me on Twitter.  Can't call in?  E-mail your thoughts: radio@verastic.com

Sai an jima [Goodbye, in Hausa].

I Was Just 21

Is it just me, or does a woman's age begin to speed like light once she reaches the age of 21. Once upon a time, I could not wait to turn 21. 21, to me, was the real legal age. The problem with turning 21 is that 22 immediately follows - and then 23, 24, 25, 26, 27 ... 114... and before you know it, you're wondering where all the time went. I feel like I just blogged about my birthday. Yet, as it is now, another birthday will soon be upon me.

Today is the last day of August. I do not know about everyone else, but the 1st of September, for me, marks the beginning of the end of the year. And the end of the year marks the beginning of a New Calendar Year and a New Birth Year for me.

At this point, I am very well aware of the thoughts that are running through your mind right now, and trust me, I am just as worried. What on earth are you going to give me for my birthday?!?! Ah, I don't quite know myself. This gift-receiving thing gets more difficult each year. Let's not forget what happens exactly one month after my birthday - Valentine's Day!! (February 14th). A shy smile creeps up on my face each time I think of this year's Valentine. But I digress...

I really was just 21 a little while ago - or so it seems. Now, the memory of being 21 is so distant. I don't even remember what I did for my 21st birthday. On another note, the people at Best Buy said Nwoke Ocha will be ready today. I'm not going to wait for them to call me. I'll just go there by myself and demand to see my boo, and he better be doing great. Can't wait to rub my fingers all over him.

He Proposed...

And I said, "Yes!" Now, calm down. Lemme tell you the full story. "I'll make this post short & sweet. And by the time I'm done, you'll feel one or more of these emotions: happy, jealous, confused, curious, doubtful, angry.... did I mention angry already? Hehehe."

Remember My Valentine??? Yes, the very same one who surprised me on Valentine's Day. Let's just say he's full of surprises.  And I'm really, really sorry for not telling you about the full story of our relationship.  I just didn't want to put everything out there.  Sometimes, one has to keep somethings personal.  In my next post, I'll be sure to give you details.  Everything you want to know, I will tell you.  But for now, rejoice with me on this please...!!  :)

Excuse my unmanicured nails; I didn't know I would be getting a marriage proposal.  My friends should have at least given me a heads-up.  Funmi, Busola, and Uju, I won't forgive you for this!

The Proposal: I came home yesterday to an empty house - no surprises there. I did the usual thing. Dropped my bag on the table, took my shoes off, and headed for the bathroom to empty my bladder. While in there, I kept singing this funny song, "I'm married to Jesus/Satan leave me alone..." Ever heard??

Anyway, I got out of the bathroom and went into the kitchen to get something to eat. I had just put some rice into the microwave when a classmate called me, so I picked up the phone. The earring I was wearing (also known as my everyday earring) tends to scratch the screen of my phone, so I took the earring off and proceeded to my bedroom to drop it on my dresser. I opened the door and met the shock of my life.

There he was - all six feet plus of him, on one bended knee, candles lit everywhere, and rose petals on the floor. I didn't know what to say. It felt like I stood there forever. I didn't even know when I started crying. I knew the significance of a man on one bended knee, but I didn't know why he was on one bended knee.  In my shock, I went to him and knelt down beside him, crying. I forgot I wasn't supposed to be kneeling down. He said a bunch of things. I don't remember now, but it didn't matter. I let him slip that beautiful ring on my finger. I haven't been able to stop looking at it and taking pictures of my finger. It was only after the kiss that I realized other people were in the room: my mother, my father, Funmi, Busola, Uju, Ireti, and a camcorder! I was crying. He was crying. Mom was crying. My friends were crying. Ireti was laughing. I think I saw a lone tear on dad's face, but he quickly wiped it off. I don't know what I did to deserve such a wonderful, wonderful man.

p.s. Now, if you believed the story you just read, please help me slap yourself twice: the first slap is for being so gullible. The second slap is for forgetting it's April Fool's Day.

p.p.s. The hand and the ring in the picture both belong to me. I keep the ring (and a wedding band) in my wallet because sometimes, I feel like being married. More like, sometimes I don't feel like being single. Actually, sometimes, I just don't feel like being flirted with. There, I said it.

p.p.p.s. You probably didn't notice, but in the first paragraph of this post, the words in quotations are in quotations and italicized for a reason: I stole the entire line from the post about.  My Valentine. Tehehe. The only difference is that I replaced 'jealous' with 'angry' (the one in bold).  So uhm, are you angry now?? Tehehehehehehehe.

p.p.p.p.s. My earring really does have that effect on my phone, and I really do take it off a lot of times.  So you see.... this post isn't a lie.  Let's just say I embelished the truth a wee little bit.

p.p.p.p.p.s. If it makes you feel better, you're not the only one who is gullible.  Even I, the one who composed this truthful fable, am starting to believe it.  Whew!!

...And ehm, my ring isn't bad for a fake one, ey?  Some real ones aren't even this nice!  Of course, you know how I feel about engagement rings, don't ya?

On Bridesmaids...

So, Bumight struck a chord with me on her recent post about wanting to be a bridesmaid. I have been a bridesmaid only one time in my life, and that was when I was Busola's maid of honor. It goes without saying that it was Busola's honor to have me as her maid of honor. Soon, I'm gonna be a bridesmaid for another friend, and no, I'm not gonna tell you who, when, or where. I talked about Busola's nuptials so much that my picture was found by many people. Once bitten, twice shy. I refuse to talk about this wedding. There were two other times I was part of a wedding: once when I was my aunt's little bride (gosh, I was too hawt!), and the other time, I was an usher (or was it a hostess??); the point is that we wore a beautiful burgundy gown.

Our dear Bumight has never had the honor expense of being a bridesmaid. Sure, you'll look cute (if you're not made to wear some butt ugly dress that highlights all your flaws), and sure, you'll have your pictures taken by a professional photographer. Let's not forget the chance to walk arm in arm with what is hopefully an eligible bachelor - if only for that day. I think my favorite part is when the bridal party dances into the reception. That's when I can show my kolomentality in the name of dance moves - not that I really have any.

Anyways, Bumight wants to be my bridesmaid. What wedding, you ask? Well, Bumight has joined the other crazy people (Funmi & Busola) in planning my wedding to my valentine. Bumight, don't worry; you, Funmi, and Busola are obviously all being carried in the same boat. Funmi and Busola have already started planning the speech they will give at my wedding. They even argue about whose speech will be better. Needless to say, I am not part of this conversation, but it is quite entertaining to listen to. Sometimes, I do indulge them, I must admit. I have long since removed all doubts about Funmi's and Busola's insanity. They're certified 'crase people.' And you, Bumight, have joined them. Congratulations!

For you, Bumight (and anyone else who might be interested in being my bridesmaid), please read below.

1. All bridesmaids must have their dresses (which I will design) sewn by Vera Wang.

2. Once chosen as a bridesmaid, no bridesmaid, can decline the offer.

3. Each bridesmaid must get to the wedding in a stretch hummer limousine that will be paid for by the bridesmaid. One bridesmaid per limo, please!

4. Each bridesmaid must buy the aso-ebi lace, of course, which will cost only $2000 for 5 yards.

5. Each bridesmaid must use that asoebi material to sew a style that I have designed: micro mini skirt & half top - with the words, "Vera's Maid" inscribed boldly across the chest.

6. Each bridesmaid must wear a pair of gold metalic stripper shoes designed by either Manolo Blahnik or Christian Louboutin. And no, they will not be stripping @ my wedding! The groomsmen are welcome to, though. :)

7. Anyone who is interested in being a Verastic bridesmaid should please answer the 5 questions below & mail it to my P.O.BOX immediately. Though I am not getting married yet (in fact, I'm not even engaged), it is imperative that I plan ahead, no? Please mail in your Verastic Bridesmaid application ASAP, and you will get a response once the wedding date has been set.

Verastic Application Form [all areas marked with asteris (*) are required, and the number of *s denotes how much power this question has...in determining if you get the honorable position or not. Answer wisely, my friends.]

*Name:

*Address & Number:

**********How much are you willing to donate to the Verastic wedding?

**********How soon can you start the donation?

Why do you want to be a Verastic bridesmaid?


All readers are eligible to become Verastic bridesmaids. I have even decided to shatter myths by allowing men to become my bridesmaids, so RocNaija, Rethots, Aloofar, Chari, Black007, Fine Agbero Boy, Jaguda, Nuggetzman, Danny Bagucci, Dabizniz, Darius Williams, Tobenna, Webround, Aribaba, Doug, NaijaDude, Banky W, Emeka Amakeze, Boorish Male, Naughty Eyes, Dante, NaijaLeta, Engineer Ayo, Mr C, Carlang and the rest of our male bloggers (and readers) are all free to apply. C'mon, I know you've all been picturing yourselves in pretty dresses & gowns, sashaying down the aisle all prim & proper. Admit it already and do the right thing!

This may come as a shock to you - considering how competitive this position is - but it costs absolutely nothing to apply for this position. Yes, I know.... I'm awefully sweet! Sometimes, I don't know what to do with myself!

So Bumight, how you take see am?

This Valentine Day Sha..!!

***Vera smiling from ear to ear***

Where do I start from??? Hmmmm. I'll make this short and sweet. And by the time I'm done, you'll feel one or more of these emotions: happy, jealous, confused, curious, doubtful, angry.... did I mention jealous already? Hehehe.

So there I was on Saturday, jejely minding my own business @ home. I wore a black and pink blouse and a pair of black jeans. I wore the pink shirt to commemorate Valentine. It was either that or something red, but I didn't have anything I liked in red. Well, my red tops were either dirty, too casual, or too formal. So pink it was.

I decided to make some moi moi. I had been putting it off for over a week. I was home, listening to music, and dancing every now and then. I was gonna watch a Naija flick after cooking. Funmi called and said she was coming over to eat. I told her not to come to my house. I did not want to spend my Valentine with a girl. But did she listen? Nope! The babe showed up here and ate my food. I even washed her dishes when she was done.

We started watching a Naija movie, and that was when it happened. He called. He was downstairs. He surprised me with a heart-shaped box of chocolates, a funny Valentine card, and loadza starbursts. He brought me starburts! Can you believe that??? That was too sweet!!

By the way, he flew in from a different state. AND we had never met before Valentine's day.... AND I did not give him my address.

......So that's all I'm willing to say about Valentine's Day. Hehehehehe. If you need more details, you know the drill: send a bottle of perfume to my P. O. BOX.

P.S. I know this sounds like fiction, but apparently, miracles happen. Ask Funmie. She was there. I'm glad she was. Or else, I would have thought I had started imagining things. Funmie was so excited, she almost locked us both out of the house in our quest to welcome our surprise guest. Funny thing is, that morning, Busola was laughing @ me and asking me if Saint Valentine had sent my Valentine yet. I said, "Not yet." We laughed about it. I didn't actually think I was going to have a Valentine, but voila...!!

So tell me, how are you feeling?? Happy, jealous, confused, curious, angry..... maybe a bit more jealous???? Hehehe. What can I say? I did ask God for unmerited favor. Now, if only He (God) can do me this other favor. Hmmmmmmm.