But....
You must refund my money! I have attended a lot of weddings. I am shocked and perplexed whenever someone tells me that he/she has never been to a wedding since they came to America donkey years ago. Each year, I attend at least three weddings. Attending weddings can be expensive, depending on who the couple is and your participation level in the wedding. Let me break it down. The boxes represent the cost.
| Category | Wedding outfit | Asoebi | Gift | Money to throw while they’re dancing | Misc. | Total |
| Going as part of the wedding party (bridesmaid/groomsman) |  | | | | | |
| Going as a family member | | | | | | |
| Going as a close friend | | | | | | |
| Going strictly as a guest | | | | | | |
| Going as a guest’s guest | | | | | | |
The problem is that the divorce/separation rate among Nigerians has been on a steady rise, and I take personal offense to it. Why? Because I spent my money to attend their wedding, damn it! I look left, right, and center, and people are getting divorced, separated, or being given eviction notices from their matrimonial homes.
Henceforth, I am stating publicly: If I attended your wedding and spent a dime for/at it, you may get divorced, but at the time of your divorce, I want a complete refund of all my money --- plus interest. Gbam! Let no one say I did not say it.
*** In other news, Verastically Speakin' Talk Radio would be making a bold come-back on Saturday, September 18th at its usual time (10am U.S. Eastern/ 3pm Nigerian Time). We'll be talking about the Single Married Man. Mustapha will be co-hosting. Set your reminder.
*** In other, other news, I saw the movie Piranha yesterday, and I am now a firm believer that there does exist something more ferocious than the fury of a woman scorned. The way that man's penis was chewed and spat out, Lorena Bobbitt was just an appetizer. The preview is below.
