Monday, May 29, 2006
Date Wit The New Family
Then from there Frank proceeded 2 go 2 his friend's house for a cookout (memorial day and all), while Sola and I headed 2 her mother-inlaw's house where we sat there and chatted and chatted. She is really cool. She's Yoruba but she speaks Igbo fluently (and Yoruba, of course). We talked about anything and everything...she's truly a remarkable character.
At 5:30pm, we left Frank's mom's house and headed to Frank's friend's house. There was a cookout, but I didn't even eat anything; I just drank some soda cause I was mad thirsday. I met some Frank's friends and they were really nice and warm 2 me. At 7:30, Sola and I decided 2 leave; that was when they decided they wanted 2 play a game of 'gestures'. I had seen the game being played on tv, but I neva thought I would enjoy. Sola and I didn't wanna play cause we thought we wouldn't enjoy it; besides, I was kinda shy because these were all new people (except Frank & Sola) and I wasn't sure I was ready 2 act a fool in front of them. Finally, Sola and I succumed 2 their demands and joined the game. Frank didn't want Sola in his group cause he thought she would mess up, so I was in Frank's group... and this other lil 10 year old british gal who doesn't consider herself nigerian (though her name is Ayomi); her parents are the nigerian ones, not her.
Anyways, the game was mighty fun and 2 my greatest surprise, I wasn't one bit shy. In fact when 9pm came and Sola suggested we leave, I was quick 2 say no. There were lotsa funny moments like when one guy was tryna describe a word 2 his team; they couldn't get it and when the buzzer sounded and the judge (one guy was our judge...referee so 2 say) said the word was 'saliva', the guy said no, so his team mates asked him 2 spell it and he said S-A-L-I-V-A. Now, that was funny!
4 those who don't know...the gestures game is a game where people r divided in @ least two teams, and there has 2 be at least 2 people in each team. One member of the team picks a card wit a word in it and tries 2 act it out (without utterin a word). For example, if the word is 'ball', the actor has 2 obviously dance. The team mates have 2 be able 2 guess d word correctly. So the success of the team depends on the acting skills of the actor and the smartness of the team members...and luck sha, cause sometimes you get a word and you don't even know the meaning. Twas fun anyways.... really fun!
I'm watching X-Men II. I neva watched it and since I intend 2 go watch the third part on wednesday, I owe it 2 myself 2 @ least watch this part, so I can fully comprehend the movie...you know?
Well, that's it for now. Typing this blog is interrupting my concentration; I actually have it on PAUSE right now, so lemme go and continue jare. We go yarn later
Oh crap! my laptop has lost its internet signal... thats d thing wit lap tops sha.
Well, I'll wait 4 it 2 come back...
*bout 10 seconds later* Ooooh, it's back
Bye!
Uka Nne (Mother's Day Church)
Anyways, I took pix of my mom, my grandmom and a buncha other women.
In terms of the event being just what I expected, the service started past 2pm (instead of 1:30pm), we stayed there 4eva!! There was a reception after the service... don't ask me why, but I was there (with Uju) 2 make mom happy. If I had it my way, I woulda neva even attended the service sef... I mean, it's a buncha Igbo people who come 2gether 2 make themselves believe they've got the best car and the most money. Of course, not all of them feel this way... I guess some of them do come 2 serve God 4 real.... nah, I doubt it.
My mother loves showin off... I know that already. But I just think the house of God is the wrong place 2 do it. God go vex o!
Anyways, thatz about it. I have already concluded that there is no way I would ever have a Nigerian church as my primary church...e no go happen! There's 2 much tension in EVERY naija church; every1 is against every1; too much tension. I cannot spiritually connect in such a church and what I need is spritual guidance, not fashion. Let's not 4get the young men (16-39) who feel like it's cool when all of them walk in2 church in d middle of the service wit flashing bluetooths on their ears.... niggers pls! Bluetooth don old finish...
Anyway sha... that's it about sunday service.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Weekend Rendezvous
Ok, let's start here: I went 4 the weddin (reception) wit Sola as I originally intended. The invitation said 5pm, so I figured we'd get there like 6pm...or 6:30 @ its latest. But as fate (or Sola and my scarf that refused 2 be tied) would have it, we gat there @ 7:30pm (2 and half hours after the stated time). But guess wat? They hadn't even started! They were still callin people 2 the high table, and there were still lots of seats...which meant we were too damn early. We decided 2 go outside and talk and take silly pictures... u know.
The weddin was aiight sha...coulda been better. The dj played some songs a lil too long, but it was ok. When the bride and groom changed in2 their traditionals, I wasn't blown away @ all. They wore all blue and it was too simple and too common and just too damn blue. Oh well...
The aso-ebis were the funniest ones. I don't know who told them those hats were cute. I shit you not, but those hats were huge! They were literally the size of baskets! I couldn't help but wonder.... what the hell were they thinking?
On a positve note... I got a laptop! Yes, in fact I am typing from it right this minute and it feels oh so good! I got it as a belated birthday gift.... how sweet! (And my birthday was in January). I tell you, if things keep going this way, I would write the address of my dream home and car. I'm pretty sure I will get it by my next birthday... abi what do you think? Well, thank you, thank you, thank you for the lap top. May God replinesh the pocket from where the money came from a million folds in Jesus name, Amen!
This morning, we woke up 2 find the window of my mother's truck shattered 2 pieces. It musta happened some time between 1am and 6am (I'm guessin). My mother came in from the wedding she attended at about 12am. The window and mirror on her side were completely shattered; and it was obvious that it was not a mistake. Probably some drunk teenagers who taught it was 'cool' and fun. Oh well, that's Geico's problem now; it's a good thing mom has a comprehensive insurance. Nawa o.... this country don mad finish. How can some1 just walk up 2 a car and decide 2 break the window? And u think we don't have crazy people walkin d streets. My mother's car was neither the fanciest vehicle outside nor the biggest. So I can be rest assured it was just a random act. Those teens musta missed their antipsychotic meds. I just hope they didn't steal my 'sweet mother' cd. Well, I doubt that would be their typa music... but just in case sha.
My house has 4 people instead of the regular two (mom and I). My grandma is here and we also have a priest as a guest (he went 4 the wedding mom and grandma went 4). He told me he was not comin home with mom yesterday, so when I came home from d wedding, I relaxed thinking there wuld only be women in the house. I strutted my naked body 2 my mother's room 2 gather all the stuff I left there, then I heard my mom's voice as she was comin in2 the house. I almost went out naked 2 say hi, but then I decided 2 tie the wrapper I saw on her bed. Who did I see when I got 2 the door? The priest! Why didn't mom call 2 tell me she was comin home wit a visitor...especially a man?! That's the rule we have in this house. Anyways, thank God he didn't see me naked sha...I dunno how I woulda been able 2 live wit that, 4 real. That woulda really broken me down....I can't even imagine wat it woulda done 2 the priest. Biko I cannot be responsible 4 a man's decision to..... well, let's leave that alone 4 now b4 God wounds me this morning.
Well, I believe that's it 4 now.
Oh! I'm gettin ready 2 go 2 Igbo church. It starts @ 1:30pm and it's held every last sunday of the month. Today, they will be celebrating mother's day, so I would have 2 take pix of two wonderful women (mom & grandmom) that love showin off...especially mom. She's about 2 call enterprise 2 bring her a rental car. She's currently on the phone wit the insurance people.
That's it 4 now.
Stay in Touch
Saturday, May 27, 2006
My Mother's Onubu (Bitterleaf) Soup
As I promised, I have posted a picture of my mother's very, very delicious soup. Un4tunately, I might not be enjoying it. She has turkey meat in it... I hate turkey! I'm startin 2 think she did it on purpose, so that I won't b able 2 eat it. Yeap, I think it's a conspiracy. Abi how u take see am?You know what I am cravin right now? Boiled yam and egg-stew.... mmm yummy yum!
CLICK ON THE SOUP TO GET A BIGGER, BETTA VIEW.... MMMMM YUMMY!
P.S. IF YOU WANT SOME SOUP, EMAIL ME AND I WILL 4WARD YOU SOME SOUP; I'M A CHEERFUL, GENEROUS GIVER :)
Friday, May 26, 2006
Finally Gat My Nails Done
I went outside and stood there just tryna think of wat 2 do next, then some oyibo man pulled in front of me. I thought he wanted 2 ask 4 directions or something, but instead...
oyibo man: u need a ride?
me: Oh, no Sir, thanks (I even out sir sef!)
oyibo man: u wanna party?
me: [confused] huh?
oyibo man: I said, u wanna party?
me: Uhm, no thanks [confused, iritated, agitated....all @ once)
Then I turned around and walked back 2 where I was standing, and then the oyibo man said "nice ass!" Chei! Wat is this world turnin in2? A world where an oyibo man is complementing a black person's ass. Not that if I give him the ass sef he would be able 2 handle it... :HISSES: rubbish.... can u imagine this? Anyways...
Do u know wat this oyibo man looked like? He wasn't even fine by any stretch of the word. He was about 50-55, he was wearing wat looked like boxers - very short green boxers 2 be precise, he had absolutely no shirt on, he had a bottle of beer in his cup holder and cigarettes on his chair, so wat kinda party wuld I have been attending with this pedophile-look-alike? Seriously speaking, he looked like a molester. Even if I needed a ride sef, wat kinda madness wuld prompt me 2 enter his car? So that next thing, I would become a statistic in American rape ehn? Tufia kwa!
Anyhow sha, I did my nails and I am happy wit them. Tomorrow, I will be attending a weddin wit Sola here in Bmore. I'm gonna wear a pink lace and pink scarf... basically, I'll just be a lady in pink... shey u get? (Why do I keep sayin 'shey u get?'?)
Nite nite... I'm really tired. Been cleanin d house since my mother decided 2 cook all this soup. I took a picture of the soup (bitter leaf), which I will post tomorrow, so you can take a look.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Gown Shoppin
I don't really have much 2 say 2day...especially since I am sleepy right now (I sleep too much, right?). Pray 4 me that I get a job this summer. Pray 4 me that I get a laptop too, so I can finish my book. Oh gosh, thinkin about it makes me wanna cry. I really thought I would be done by now; how am I supposed 2 be a national bestselling author if I cannot finish my damn book? I mean, Blessed book rather.
When I was goin out this afternoon, I remembered I didn't take my sunglasses, but I was too lazy 2 go back upstairs 2 get it. Then when I was goin out this evening, the sun wasn't out anymore, of course, but I started wondering... since we have sunglasses 4 the sun, why don't we have moon glasses for the moon and star glasses for the stars? We can even have moon-star glasses for when both the sun and stars are out. What do you think? Has any1 ever had this thought or am I just weird?
Well, that's it 4 tonight. We go yarn again 2morrow!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Just A Day
Toha came ova 2 see me 2day. We had some fun, and I made sure I stuffed her up real good with food; by the time she was ready 2 leave, she felt very full. I even fried her some of my special fish...yes, I do fry a mean fish...i think.
I took another nature walk 2day, but I have nothing interesting 2 say about it because I did not have the time 2 stop and look @ people and things while I was walking...cause I was on the phone to and fro. I'll make sure I don't do that next time. Going on a nature walk should not involve me being on the phone... cell phones are not natural. They are man-made electronic leashes made 2 tie us down without our knowledge and make us feel on top when we are really behind.... shey you get sha?
Well, 2morrow I'm gonna go 2 the mall 2 buy myself an evening gown for a wedding I have 2 attend on Saturday in Silver Spring. Of course, I coulda worn a traditional outfit, but I didn't take my material 2 the tailor, so I'm gonna have 2 wear something else. Of course, I could wear one of the traditional outfits I already have, but there is no fun in that. I would rather wear something new.
Well, I guess that's all 4 now. I'm sleepy. Geez, sleeping seems 2 be all I do these days... don't u think so? Oh well.
Nite now.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Old Habits Die Hard
Here's my daily shower routine:
- Wash underwear by the sink
- Hang it on the bathroom door (I always leave d door open when I'm takin a shower)
- Brush my teeth
- Brush my teeth again
- Rinse my mouth with Listerine mouth wash
- Put on my shower cap
- Wash my face with an Olay cleansing cloth
- Enter the bath-tub
- Turn on the hot water and then the cold water
- Make sure the temperature is okay then turn the shower overhead shower thingy
- Fold the long sponge in half and then fold it again (to be 1/4 of the original size)
- Put the soap in the sponge and rub it till it lathers really well
- Stand under the shower and let the water wet my whole body
- Start by scrubbing my chest, then my hands, then my neck, then my upper back, then my stomach.
- Then I wash my you-kn0w-what, then my thighs, then my calves, then my feet, then my back again
- After that, I unfold the sponge and scrub my whole back, then I tie the sponge on my waist and stand under the shower and let the water rinse me and the sponge.
- Then I rub soap on the sponge again and scrub inside and outside my ears, and then I scrub my neck again
- Then I rinse the soap out
- Then I squirt some Olay scrub in my palms, rub my palms 2 lather then I cleanse my face.
- After that I stand under the shower 4eva and just let d water make love 2 me.
Now that I have given you a detailed info about how I take my shower, I'm beginnning to wonder if it was necessary sef. But anyways....
I took a nature walk today too. It was nice as usual...except that it was rather windy. My eyes kept watering and I looked like I was crying. And the wind was scattering my hair alll over the place. I don't know what I had more problem with: the wind in my eyes, or the way the wind was aggressively raping my hair. Anyway...that's all over now.
We go yarn tomorrow.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Bridal Shower...
Anyways, the bride was really surprised sha, but mehn, by the time they started, I was so sleepy. You know I was still tired from yesterday's event. No1 thought about bringin a camera 2 the shower, but thank God I brought mine, so once again, I became the photographer. Unpaid photographer o!
When the bride was on her way in2 the house, we all had 2 be quiet of course, and I positioned myself in front of the door, so I could take pictures of the surprised face of the bride. While we were all in suspense awaiting the grand jury, some lady asked "what are we gonna say when she comes in?" DUH!!!!!!!!!! It's a surprise party.... what the hell else are you supposed to say other than "surprise!". Finally, she came up with the not-so-bright idea that as soon as the bride walks in, we should say "Happy Bridal Shower...Surprise!" Yeah right! Who has time 4 all that? Every1 agreed 2 say it sha, but as soon as the bride walked in, we all said "surprise!" I guess it was just a case of reflex.
I was so tired that I didn't even eat (even though I was really hungry). I just took pictures and pictures and pictures, and bonded with some cute, adorable kids. I just kept looking @ them and imagining myself as a mother. I bet I would be one hell of a cool mom....don't u think so? Well, who cares what you think? I think ... in fact, I KNOW I will be a cool mom. I'll be a goofy mom and I'll act silly with my kids. My husband would probably just shake his head every time he sees me and the kids acting silly. But anyways... enuff of my fantasy...
Back 2 reality. We left d place at about 8:45pm. The first thing I did when I got home was to take off my heels. Why do I always put myself through torture ehn? I wore heels yesterday and I have not fully recovered from that one, and then today I put on another pair. Nawa 4 me o!
I kinda feel like typing my book, but I honestly cannot stand another day of typing on this desktop. I feel like typing it but not in my house; but how man pikin go fit do that one without a lap top? This desk top box I have is kinda 2 heavy 2 be lifted and taken 2 barnes & nobles (I love that store!).
Anyways, we go yarn tomorrow. I'm tired.
Grad Party
We got 2 the party @ about 11:30pm and they still had not started (even though the invitation said 8:30pm). After about 30 mins, the MC called me and Ada and introduced us to the crowd as the hostesses of the ceremony, and then after that, he said "Gentlemen, look at these two beautiful ladies; if you're interested in them, you can come to me and get their number." What da hell?! See me see insult o! Maybe I'm overreacting, but I think he was out of his mind 4 saying that. What if I was engaged? (yes, I know I do not have a ring). Anyway sha, we started ushering people to their tables of course, and after that the real work started.
We had 2 serve food 2 the 'high table'. We kept goin inside d kitchen and out and in and out....geez! Mind you, I was on stiletto heels o! And then the common people (the rest of us that were not on the high table, lol) were busy disturbing us and making special orders on food. Where did they even think they were? I don't know what part of "we are only serving the high table" they did not get o.
As if all that walking around was not enough, we even had 2 pick money from the floor. It felt like I was doing crunches all night long. The fact that I was doing it on pencil-thin heels did not help either. After a while, I couldn't take it anymore, so I ran 2 the car 2 get a pair of flip-flops (slipass). Of course, that meant I had 2 take my fish net panty hose off too, and it was a huge relief. But nawa 4 my toe nails sha.... I'm way overdue 2 get them done. Well, it's all good. I have an appointment on tuesday.
Even though I had a camera, I did not take one single picture of myself. All the pics were of everyone else but myself...can u imagine? I took over 70 pics and none of them were of me. Ain't that sad? After all the suffering in picking up the money, we finally decided 2 go home. When I got home, it was past 4am. The first thing I did was take off that damn thong. Every time I bent down 2 pick money, it seemed as if the thong was going deeper. In fact, I was sure the thong would have opened up another hole 4 me...or at least sliced my ass open @ some point, but thank goodness my butt was intact. You better believe I checked 2 make sure. I took the thong off and replaced it with a regular underwear..... hmmm home sweet home.
It wasn't until about 1:30pm this afternoon that I woke up. I was happy that I could relax and recuperate from yesterday, then all of a sudden the house phone rang. I picked it up and it was Gladys, a family friend. She was calling 2 inform me that she would be @ my house @ 4pm, so we could go 2 the bridal shower I promised I would go 2 with her.
Aaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gotta go take a shower......... shiiiit.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Lil Problems
I have a bit of a dilemna...if you would call it that. I have been looking at a black fish net that I intend on putting on tonight, and I am begininning to question my decision to wear it. It looks so small and tiny. I mean, what would possess a woman of my caliber 2 wear something like this? It just looks funny sha.
Dilemna #2: I cannot decide which flavor of gum i like better... the apple flavor? Or the water-melon flavor? I know you may not see it as a real dilemna, but you don't know what it feels like standing in front of the gum aisle and having your eyes wander back and forth and back and forth, and then finally you are forced to get both. I know I should not be chewing gum...cause no one looks good chewing gum, but sometimes I cannot help it. Okay, I can, but I choose not 2. I really need 2 quit cheing gum altogether. I quit b4 oh, but I don't know why I started it again. Another thing I need 2 quit doing is eating starburst fruit chews. I have eaten so much starburst fruit chews that I can practically start a factory. That's life, huh?
People always talk about detox from drugs and alcohol, and nicotine patches for those addicted 2 nicotine, but no1 talks about sugar patches for candy addicts like my humble self. They have AA (alcoholics anonymous) and NA (Narcotics Anonymous), but what happened to the CA (Candylics Anonymous)? We need attention too! The government needs 2 start and fund a program 4 people like me, so we can build a better future 4 ourselves. I must have really strong teeth cause in spite of all the candy, none of them are decayed. Thank God. I really need 2 quit this candy addiction. Gosh I'm an addict. Well, the first step 2 solving a problem is acknowledging its existence.
Hmmmmmm...I wonder if psych wards have places for people like me....not that I wanna go there o! But anyways...
...I think I have 2 end here 4 now jare.
Friday, May 19, 2006
My Day @ The Mall
1st stop: Bare Feet Shoes. My mother needed a pair of shoes to match her traditional outfit 4 2morrow, but she did not even bring the scarf @ least, so that she could match. So we walked around Bare Feet Shoes looking 4 a blue shoe. Of course, there were different shades of blue and she kept asking me which one matched her outfit. How was I supposed 2 know? I hadn't even seen the outfit! At the end, she did not buy a blue shoes; she bought a creme colored shoe.
2nd stop: Towson Mall. Towson mall has 4 floors, and we did not have any idea what store we wanted 2 go to. By the way, while my mother was looking for a shoe, I was looking for an outfit for tomorrow. I went thru every floor and every clothing store I could and finally found a black skirt I liked. But wat about a top to go with it? That was damn near impossible....but thank God I finally found one.
My mother and I walked thru the whole damn mall; she was looking 4 a pair (or two) of shoes, and I was looking for an outfit 4 the wedding comin up on saturday (27th may in silver spring, maryland). All through I kept on questioning my decision 2 go shoppin wit my mom. Seriously, what was I thinking?
3rd stop: DSW. While my mother wandered in DSW, I decided 2 take the time 2 look around in Wal-Mart, which was next 2 DSW. I ended up getting lotion, face cleanser, and Nair hair remover (no I do not shave my legs! I refuse 2 risk cutting myself. Besides, why shuld I shave when I can just use Nair that works pretty damn good too?). After I paid 4 my stuff, I called my mother 2 find out her whereabouts, and she said she was on her way 2 Wal Mart too.
I waited 4 her while she parambulated all thru d store and finally decided 2 come and pay 4 her stuff. She paid with her credit card, and as soon as she was done, she told the cashier that she had 2 do it again because she put in the wrong pin number. The cashier told her that it did not matter wt pin number she used since she paid with credit and not debit. But as a proper naija woman, she refised 2 listen, and even when I tried 2 xplain it 2 her, she would not listen, so all we kept doing was
me: mom, it doesn't matter what pin number u used.
mom: but I put in the wrong pin number
me: but you paid with credit
mom: but it won't go through
me: but it did already
mom: but it's the wrong pin
me: but it doesn't matter
mom: but they will charge the wrong account
me: do you wanna change d account?
mom: no, just the number
me: but it does not matter
mom: but the pin number is wrong!
Aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, I quit. I cannot get in2 this woman's head. After a few more 'buts' with the cashier, I guess she finally agreed that it did not matter. Remind me neva do attempt shoppin with my mom again. But you know what the funny thing is? I know I will still go shoppin wit her.... countless times sef.
Bye 4 Now... we'll continue later
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Wednesday
I'm tryna find myself in life...so to say. I'm tryna discover what i like and what i don't like, and so far i have discovered a few things...
- I love my lotion; I think it's my soul mate in lotions... it's from Olay
- I love my deodorant; it's from Secret (platinum)
- I found my soul mate in cookies too. It's Chessmen from Pepperidge Farm
*sorry, but there has been a break in transmission. Gotta go pee...*
*... 4 minutes later.... back from peeing.... mm wat a relief*
- I think I have found my soul mate in candy; I love the pink starburst
- I think I have also found my soul mate in beverages; I love the strawberry-guava flavor from Fuze
- I love Dannon's La Creme Yogurt - vanilla flavor
- I want a platinum band with a big (and affordable) rock on it
- I don't like gold jewelries
- I despise men who do not feel the need 2 give gifts (birthday, valentine, anniversary, etc)
- I despise unromantic (unthoughtful) men
- I hate lazy gifts (the type of gift you give without putting any thought in2 it. Like when u give a woman jewelry because 'women like jewelry'... bullshit!)
- I want a public proposal
- I just realised i also like verona cookies from pepperidge farm
- All of a sudden, I won't write with a pen until its ink is gel, so I guess the gel ink is my soul mate in pens?
- I'm not in2 anything dat has 2 do wit chocolate. I don't do chocolate candy, chocolate milk, chocolate cookies, chocolate wafers.... nope!
- If I must have chocolate, I'd rather have white chocolate.
- Nokia is my best cell phone company
- I love Sony electronics. I don't know anything bout electronics, but I like Sony cause my dad loves it.
Alright, I think I'm tired now. I'm gonna stop here and continue later.
Oh, by the way, I'm currently reading Chasing Destiny by my favorite author, Eric Jerome Dickey
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Happy Mommy's Day
I don't have much 2 say really, so I'm just gonna end this post here.
But I also wanna wish all the other women out there a happy mother's day. And 2 all the expectant mothers and women prayin and wishing 4 the miracle of childbirth, I pray God grants you all your heart desires.
I also wish myself some wonderful kids.... but not now o!!!!! God, lemme just make it clear 2 u that I am not sayin I want d kids now o! I mean, I want them when I get married...shey u get? I want 5 of them, and I don't mind having a set of twins... as long as they don't damage the uh... passageway...u know wat I mean, abi?
And 2 all the men, u know I won't leave u hanging! I wish u all a happy mother's day too! Yes, I'm wishin u a mother's day cause frankly speakin, some of u are more woman than I am sef. You whine 2 damn much!!
Good nite...
My Best Friend Is Engaged!!!
Yippie!!!!!!!! I cannot even begin 2 tell you how excited I am! My best friend is engaged... oh my God! We have been day dreaming about this day 4 soooooo long, and we have always started it with something like "Well, whoever my husband will be, I want him to...", and now, we know who her husband will b! Frank is a wonderful, handsome, intelligent, articulte, hard-working, you-really-gotta-see-him man. I couldn't have picked a betta person 4 Sola. I don't need 2 tell you that the picture you see is that of my one and only, Sola, and her fiance. Oh my God!... He's her fiance. Ah, this don serious o! But u know what's even better? I'm d maid of honor! She hasn't told me yet, but shoot, it has always been know that I would be the maid of honor. I have already told Frank 2 make sure that his best man is cute cause I will not b walkin down d aisle wit any..... u get my point sha.So here's how it happened. Frank was celebratin his graduation (degree in Architechture...in case u need an architect sha...), and next thing, home boy takes the mic and his voice becomes all shaky and his eyes are misty. Next thing, he was on his knees askin Sola 2 marry him. I think Sola's mouth was open for a good 5 minutes... as I heard. Unfortunately, I missed d proposal cause I was late 2 the event, but no kwamps sha, I will definitely b there 4 the wedding.
When I came in and heard, I started crying hysterically. I dunno why the hell I was crying, but I was. I called Funmie and cried on d phone 2 her too, and I also called my mom and cried. I was so happy 4 Sola. I just couldn't help crying! I have known her since she was a teenager and now she is engaged. You know one wonderful thing about this too? Sola's inlaws (Frank's family) are the best! They love her, and they are glad 2 have her in their midst. Frank's sister and I have already become inlaws sef! You shoulda heard us talking; you'd think we've known each other 4 years...
Sola appointed me as one of her weddin planners... yay! I love this kinda stuff. So as the weddin planner sha, I suggested we save money on the dj and use my boom box 4 music, but she rejected my idea... can u believe that?! She said I am crazy and retarded. Is that a way 2 talk 2 ur weddin planner? She doesn't know I can just vex and resign my post ehn? Sola's calling me crazy is something I know would neva end; she has always told me so from the very beginning. I even went as far as offering 2 give her the music cd of her choice 2 play in the boom box while she's walkin in2 the aisle, but this yeye gal refused. I mean, kpata kpata, if the cd scratches while she's walking in, we'll bring it out, clean it, and continue. My last suggestion 2 her was that we play 'shake that booty' by elephant man. (Actually, the song is called 'jook gal'), but she refused again! I tire 4 this kin customer o.
Oh, you know what I'm really lookin 4ward 2? I'm lookin 4ward 2 writin her a love poem and readin it @ the reception. This has always been a dream 4 us...and the fact that it will be happening soon is making my heart go paulina-paulina. Don't ask me wat that means; I learnt it from my mom. A paulina-paulina heart is a happy heart.
Hmmmm.... I wonder wat my engagement wuld b like. It betta be as crazy as I am... that's all I can say 4 now.
anyways, here r a few tips 2 reduce cost @ the wedding... and even make some money
- guests will bring their own food
- wedding wuld b held outside, so a hall would not b needed
- my boom box wuld b used, so a dj wuld not b necessary
- guests wuld bring their own canopy (if they want) 2 protect them from d sun... or rain sef
- Each family wuld share a spoon, a fork, a knife and a cup.
- The tap in the bathroom wuld b workin properly, so no drinks have 2 b bought
- The cake will be bought at CoastCo, Sam's Club or any other wholesale store ...
- ALL the guests wuld b mandated 2 get up and spray money on the couple
- ALL guests wuld be screened 4 gifts b4 comin in2 (under) the uh.. canopy
- ALL guests wuld b mandated 2 bring several zip locks bags and several empty water bottles... in case they need 2 shit or pee
- instead of chairs, mats would b spread on the grass 4 guests... but they can bring their own chairs if they want
- in fact, in addition 2 the mandatory gifts from the guests, there wuld also be a $20 gate fee
- ALL the guests (including unborn babies) wuld b required 2 buy a 'sola-weds-frank' pin whether they like it or not.. and it will cost an additional $10
- ALL the guests are required 2 take pictures @ the wedding, but only by the wedding photographer...and they must pay 2 have it printed out (whether they want it or not) = $15
....well, that's all 4 now. I bet u too think I've lost my good sense, right?
Bye 4 now jare... it's 3:40am. I got back home @ about 2:30am. I gotta go 2 bed now; I have some serious dreamin 2 do in my sleep.
Nite-nite!
Friday, May 12, 2006
Random Gists
Now, on 2 my random gists...
- I was on the bus on my way back from skool 2day, and as always, I made the mistake of smiling back to an elderly lady who was staring at me. Let me explain: the woman was staring at me and it was a bit... in fact, a lot uncomfortable, so I made eye contact and smiled back, and what did I get in return? This woman started telling me her life history. She told me about how she would be celebrating her wedding anniversary next month (on father's day) with her husband. The problem is, she could not remember if it was her 18 or 19th anniversary. And she asked me "which one is it?". How da hell am I supposed 2 know? And why is it that these yankee people always wanna talk? You know that kinda conversation where you're not really hearing wat they're even saying (or even caring 2 hear sef) and you're responding by saying things like...yea... mm hmm... oh my... really?... you don't say... oh... wow.....etc. But they still wanna keep on talkin.... haba!
- I wore a blouse/shirt/top that says "Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go". Yes, I know what you are thinking.. 'this gal wears too many shirts that have things written on them.' Abi oh, I know I do. Anyway sha, the shirt kept on drawin unnecessary attention 2 my chest. In fact, I'm sure some people were just staring @ other things under the pretense of reading what was written on my shirt. Well, that one concern them sha.
- I had a case of 'bad panty!' today. I had a reoccuring wedgie (is that d right spellin?). I no come understand the thing @ all. I wear only two types of underwears (panties): thongs & g-string bikinis, and today I was wearing a g-string bikini (which is just like a regular underwear wit very thin strings @ the side), so why was I having a wedgie? The bad part is that I was wearing a kinda tight skirt, so it made me self-conscious. Was every1 lookin @ my butt and saying "gee, she shoulda worn a thong"? The worse thing sef is the inability 2 pull the damn wedgie out. How was I supposed 2 pull it out when I was in the public? You neva know when one fine man dey look pesin... only 2 see me diggin my hands in my ass 2 pull out my underwear. How I go take xplain am now? Anyways sha...
- I came back from skool and my head was seriously poundin, so I decided 2 take a walk outside again. I ended up walking up 2 Royal Farms and just sitting in the bus-stop booth. I sat there for over an hour and all I was doing was watching people come and go as I was thinking about my life. B4 I got 2 the booth, I was just walking (on the sidewalk o!) and some oyibo kid would just zoom past me on his bike. I didn't even hear him comin, and if I had by any chance decided 2 turn around or something, he woulda knocked me down. You see how devil dey use pesin?
Anyways, that's all I gat 4 now jare. I would make sure I come back later 4 some more gist... u know now!
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Crossroads
The reason why i am talking about crossroads is because today was a terrible, terrible day 4 me. I wish I could go in2 details, but I would rather not. I don't know if I have eva been so confused in my life. I don't know what the hell I am doing; I don't know what I should be doing or what I should not even be considering. In my case, I seem 2 have 2 many roads 2 go, but the problem is that I can only go on one. No matter what decision I decide 2 make, I would still feel down @ the end of it.
I have been crying all day; my eyes are blood-shot, my head is throbbing and I am sleepy as hell. I only slept for about an hour between yesterday and today. I feel so exhausted and I really wish I could just disappear 2 an island and stay there by myself for a while i recuperate and get my head together...but no such luck 4 me.
It is @ times like this that I wish I had some supernatural power. I wish I could fly myself 2 Heaven or at least summon the presence of His Royal Highness, God 2 my house, so I could ask him some serious questions. Yea, I know God is everywhere, but I want him 2 be physically present, and I wanna look in2 His eyes and ask Him questions. Whatever He says I should do, I will. I honestly would not question His authority for one second.
There r so many things that I wish I could right now, but God knows best anyway. I'm goin 2 bed for now; I will be back tomorrow, I hope.
I'm really, really down, and I feel like if I get up from this chair, I will pass out.
I have an exam tomorrow and I have no idea what 2 expect. I have not even taken the time 2 look at my book. I don't use the f-word, but this is some fucked up shit.
Good nite, diary.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Nature Walk
Like I was saying sha, the weather was really nice, and the moon was bright and out. I'm sure you're wondering why a sane girl would walk by herself at 10pm for no reason; well, first of all, i am not that sane. 2nd of all, I do not and cannot appreciate walking under the sun. Nope, that's not 4 me @ all. When the sun is down, you can get me 2 walk almost anywhere, but under the sun? Tufia kwa! And even though the sun is not really out in the morning, I cannot do morning either cause I am just not one to wake up early in the morning. Besides, I always go 2 bed late. I go 2 bed anywhere from 2am, so if you're expecting me 2 wake up @ 7am 2 admire the rising of the sun, you must have lost your damn mind. Video tape it and send it 2 me.
The walk was the type that I would have enjoyed better if I was doing it with someone. Where is Uju when I actually need her? When I came back, I called her and asked her if she would be interested in walking with me when her exams are over, and she said yea, so it's a deal! Maryland's newest and hottest walking partners have just been invented.
Last but not least, I finally finished my article... yay! It's called 'If You Must, Do It The Right Way'. Please take your time to read it and leave comments!
Nite-nite....
I'll be back 2morrow.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
I Wouldn't Even Copy The Date From Her!!
Anyway, Uju is comin 2 my house 2nite 2 do God-knows-what. I don't even have a say in wheather she comes or not... ain't that something? One would think she pays rent here, but trust me, she doesn't oh. She just comes and does what she wants and eats what she wants, and at the end, she'll even throw in a lil insult 2 me. Yeap, she's very generous.
Anyways, lemme go 4 today! We go talk 2morrow.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Lost In A Trance
I wrote a new poem today called "Unfathomable", but I do not intend to post it online; it's a private poem, but I really like it anyway.
I have a chem exam tomorrow which I have not studied for. You know why? It's the end of the semester and I am too lazy... and it's also an open book exam. Why would I study? Psshhhtt pls! It's not gonna happen... abi them no born me well.
Ooooh, I'm typing this thing with my eyes closed cause the song is running through my blood vessels. Gosh, I'm in love.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
The Weekend Is Ova Already
- Well, for starters, I talked 2 my bestfriend in Naija....yay!!!!!!!! I cannot begin 2 tell you how happy I was (and still am) to talk to Uchenna. She's da bomb! That girl is soooo... I can't even tell you. Words are not enough for me 2 tell you. It's quite disappointing that I did not write about her in my article about girl friends; I just decided to write about only those in U.S.... but I really wish I had included her name. Anyways, she's close 2 my heart. I cannot wait 2 see her again...it's been too damn long.
- I started another article called "If You Must, Do It The Right Way". Do you have any idea what it might be about? I think it's one of those articles where I joke about serious issues, which is why I personally like it. You should check it out when I'm done writing it. Of course, I will let you know.
- I watched two naija movies online. Did you know you could watch Naija movies online for free? Yes oh, courtesy of Online Nigeria. I was (and still am, of course) impressed! Those movies really helped keep me busy. Thank God 4 that miracle.
I'm starting to accept the fact that I might not work this summer, but I just wish and pray and Hope to God that I get a lap top. It will really make my summer! I'm a weird creature, you know. A lot of people can't wait for summer to get here, so they can be all skimpy and hot, but me on the other hand, I hate...or rather dislike summer. There is nothing refreshing about constantly being warm. I mean, hot damn! Fall is really my best season, but if I had 2 pick one between the harsh winter and the burning summer, you better believe I'd rather have winter.
It's refreshing to have warm weather; keyword being 'warm', but summer is just straight up wicked! It makes me very uncomfortable as I do not ever wish to break a sweat unless I am deliberately trying 2. During the summer, breathing alone woulf make you break a sweat. Although I don't sweat a lot, I don't even wanna be moist. And taking showers every 30 minutes starts taking a toll on one's skin after a while.
If you care to know, the itching on my breast and nipple has stopped. I don't know what that was all about, but I am glad it's over with now.
Sorry I did not come back yesterday to continue my entry; I was carried away by the Naija movie I was watching. So how do you like my picture? I figured it's time for people to see what this mysterious Vera looks like.... abi what do you think?
Nite....
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Ain't That Something?
This picture is just too funny. I guess the poor woman has upgraded too, abi? Well, I've got more 2 write but 4 now, I wanna go clean up my bathroom... it's saturday, you know? I'll be back 2 continue this post.
Friday, May 05, 2006
This Vera Sef...
God knows what I have been beggin Him 4....well, He knows allll the things I have been beggin Him for, and now, I think He has granted me one of them, but why am I so scared then? Why am I so afraid that this gift is too good? Why do I feel like it is too good of a gift 2 be given by God? After all, all good things come from God, right? Nawa o, this Vera sef!
Oh God, I know You know what I am talking about, so just keep doing what You do best (Blessing me), and I will do what I should do best (accepting Your Blessings with open hands). Now, I am not being ungrateful oh, but You know what else I want.... and I want it fasttttttt - Thanks Lord.
No1 should even think of asking me what Blessing God has given me cause I ain't tellin!
Now, good nite.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Honestly, I'm Not Bitter...
My gum hurts and I don't know why. I hope I'm not growin another tooth because I am too old 4 this. I know I am damn too old 4 this. Besides, I coulda sworn I already have a complete set. I am in no mood to keep sending my tongue on errands to find out what lies on my gum. The yeye tongue sef doesn't even know.
Mehn, I wish my four year old nephew was here; I woulda made him stand on my back. I love it when he does so; it is soooooo nice! Sometimes I make him count the hair on my head. Poor boy. It feeels so good when someone is pulling my hair (especially the hair in the middle of my big head) gently. Of course he can't actually count all my hair (who can?), but somehow, he always tells me I have 30... or is it 20? No, I think it's 30 hairs. Funny kid, he is. I also love when someone is putting hair creme on my scalp or just rubbing my scalp gently. God, I love it! Well, that would be part of my husband's job description - whenever I marry him, of course.
I still haven't fully recovered from the lack of sleep I had yesterday, so I'm gonna get up and get my ass right back to bed. I love sleep, don't I? I'm gonna go make a long distance call, then I'm gonna go 2 bed. I need 2 call my cousin, Nachi in Nigeria. He has been flashin' me all day. I bet you he will have no reason 2 be flashin me. He's probably doin it just 2 say hi.
What can I do? He just can't get enough of me, but then again, who can? I mean, look @ God; the man can't stop watching over me. I can't say I can blame him though. He's proud of His job well done.
But enuff 'bout me and God's admiration of me. Wat's up wit u? That was a rhetorical question, of course.
Bye....
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
What A Day....
Remember how I told you my right breast was itching? It got worse! Now, even the nipple is itching too. I'm telling you, as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror today, I started looking at my toothbrush differently. I just wanted to grab that thing and set it to kill the itch on my nipple. But I hadn't taken a shower, and I didn't wanna rub germs on my toothbrush and then use it in my mouth. Besides, the itch might be transferred to my teeth...... if possible (but I doubt it).
Thank goodness Ms. Flow is leaving; I'm sure she won't last past tomorrow....or today sef. She'll be back sometime next month. She flies in through the "menses airway".
I just cooked some stew, and I guess I should also cook some rice but it's kinda late, and I really don't feel like it. Well, some people sent me emails about my latest article, so I guess I could put some rice on fire and come back to continue this entry and start my emails...
*Vera gets up and walks into the kitchen*... (why do I refer 2 myself as a third person? I have some serious issues)
Can you believe Uju just came 2 my house and dumped her notes? She didn't copy down her notes in class, and now, I have to help her do it...even though I don't have the same class with her. Hell, we don't even attend the same skool. But anyways...
I guess I'm done 4 today. I'll be sure to update you tomorrow.... or the day after.
Gud Nite.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Wedding Bells
Yesterday, I went 4 a wedding with my mom & grandma (though I was plannin on not going). We attended Igbo church (yes, they have that here), and though I usually do not like going (because those women gossip 2 damn much!), yesterday I decided to go. I had no idea there would be a wedding during the service. I didn't really enjoy it cause all it did was make the service longer (as if 2.5 hours isn't already too long for a Catholic Church!). I decided to go 4 the reception too (thereby missin a new episode of Charmed...darn!), and I guess it was okay. I didn't like the DJ cause I thought he stunk like a skunk, but anyways.... if one more person tells me about how ripe I am for marriage ehn....! there will be hell 2 pay!
Here's one little (or maybe not so little) problem I have been having: my right breast has been itching the hell outta me! Not the nipple oh, just the other part. It's the type of itch you just gotta scratch, but then I don't wanna open my skin, and i'm kinda starting 2 get tired of just slapping it 2 stop the itch. Besides, it hurts and it doesn't even relieve the itch. All it does is make it sting and make me wanna scratch it even more. What could this mean? When I was little (and didn't have breast), my cousin used to say it meant it needed 2 be sucked, but somehow I think she was just deceiving me. I doubt it will be a good idea if I ask some1 to do that... besides.... well, never mind that issue 4 now.
You know, sometimes, you think you know someone, and then you realize that you really don't. I don't know how married couples do it, 4 real. How do they deal with each other's short comings? I mean, what happens when one partner realizes the other one is a bonafied liar?
Have I ever told you of how much I dream of becoming someone's wife? I'm not tryna toot my own horns, but I know I will make a damn good wife. If only you knew what plans I got, I bet you'll be running to propose 2 me right about now. I believe I will be a good wife, which is why i cannot settle 4 less. I refuse 2 settle down with someone who cannot meet me halfway. I know you might be wondering why I am talking about this, but never mind that, we'll get back to it later.
Do you know that I have a chem assignment due tomorrow and I have not even started it? Go figure.
One last thing b4 I sign out 4 the day, I wanna make a confession. I'm very confused at this point about where my life is headed. I got so confused today that I started crying.... although that might have been my hormones (since I am currently shedding blood).
Speaking of shedding blood, yesterday (my 2nd day) was my heaviest (always is), so being @ a wedding was really not in my best interest. There's nothing fun about constantly wondering if the pad may have shifted while you were dancing and bending down. Of course, I coulda sat my ass down, but I couldn't help it. In spite of how much the DJ sucked, he still had some nice music. And 2 make it worse, the bathroom sucked! Ewww! I couldn't go in there 2 expose the beauty between my legs in the name of changing a pad... no way! That's how people catch thangz, u know?
Alright, I think I have said too much. I may be a little drunk... on caffeine. I drank a can of mountain dew 2day.... sshhh, don't tell any1.
G'Nite.
*Vera slowly exits and signs out of d blogger network)*
