Looking For Me?

Every now and then, I like to blog about the key words that people search for on search engines, the keywords that ultimately lead them to Verastic.com  It'd be incredibly unVerastic if I were to blog about the regular words.  Who needs those?  The absurd ones make my day any day.  Enjoy.

1.  Turai Yar'Adua

I'm not sure what bothers me most: the fact that the search for Turai leads people to my blog, or the fact that Turai Yar'Adua is the fourth leading search.  I think it's the latter.  And this is all because of that flattering post about her

2.  www.project@verastic.com

You think I should tell the searcher that www does not come before this or any e-mail address?  Yeah, maybe later.

3.  Oral sex in the bible.

Oh, honey, been there, done that --- searched for it, that is.  This may be hard to believe, but nowhere in the bible do the words oral sex appear.  Go figure!  But maybe my post on oral sex will help, no?

4. "I found out he's married" "green card"

Now, can you ask him if he'd like to be a co-host on the Verastically Speakin' Talk Radio Show?  You (or he) can read about the talk show, and the show in question is number 11.

5.  Angelina Jolie stay away from my man

*Gasp* Oh, my goodness!!!  Vanessa Pardis, is this you?  You found my blog! How is Johnny Depp?  Wait, did you read the post I put up about you two three?

6.  Ask boyfriend for facebook password to prove trust.

Sweetheart, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but passwords and trust are almost mutually exclusive.  Besides, he could be like me.  I have several e-mail accounts --- which, of course, only implies that I love e-mails J

7.  Aso Rock boyfriend of Turia Yar'Adua

Turai has a boyfriend at Aso Rock?! I knew it!  Now, it's all starting to make sense.

8.  Boyfriend used to date my friend.

We had a show on this one.  Go listen.

9.  Boyfriend won't give me his Facebook password.

Please refer back to number 6 above.  And when you're done, ask Ray what he thinks about passwords.

10.  Breasts that reach for the sky.

Only a man would search for this.

11.  Does Tonto Dike use Makari?

Seriously???

12.  Get perkier breasts

It's your lucky day!  I know the secret.

13.  How to rededicate my life to Christ.

More often than not, people start with a bible-believing church.

14.  I love my fat wife

Good for you!!

15.  I want a fatter wife

Please refer to number 14 above.

16.  If your boyfriend doesn't call you in a day and doesn't send a text, does he love you?

Heck, if I know!

17.  My friend is technically engaged

You're technically a bridesmaid.

18.  My push up bra will get my man

What kind of push up bra is that, and where can I get one?

19.  Sniff menstruation pads

Before or after they've been menstruated on?

20. Verastic Nigerian blogger.

Finally! Someone looks for me JJJ

That's all, folks!  Out of 536 search words - thanks to Google Analytics - I managed to pull 20 out.

P.S. The show goes live in less than 10 hours (at 10am U.S EST and 3pm Nigerian time).  I'll be co-hosting with Diamond, NaijaBloke, and Kola [Baroka] Tubosun, and we'll be talking about how to, if you will, tell your friend that his/her spouse-to-be is a monster.  Listen here.  Call in: 1.646.929.1905 <<>> Text your response(s): 1.443.934.9039 <<>> E-mail your response(s): radio@verastic.com

P.P.S. The Verastic Facebook Fan Page is still lonely.  Join, please?

P.P.P.S. Go vote for today's show!

P.P.P.P.S. If you have already voted for today's show, vote for next week's show.

My Feet Are On Fire

So how was every1's weekend? How many people got hitched, got pregnant, got beaten, stole someone's partner? Hooked up with an ex? No1? Was it just me then? LOL. Calm down, nothing like that happened to me. I be good gal now!

On Saturday (Feb 17th), I went for a wedding. I know the bride, but I don't know her personally. I only know her face, but she's a member of Busola's church, so Busola dragged me (and Frank, her fiance) along, while I dragged Uju along. A typical African thing.

Due to the fact that I am not an anonymous blogger, I cannot tell you how I actually felt about the wedding, but one thing is for sure, my friends and I had some mad fun dancing. I wore a pair of pink shoes. They're not high, but when you stand, walk and dance in them for hours, they start killing your feet. I just took a picture of it for your viewing pleasure. You can thank me later.

As usual, I took a buncha pictures, and you can view the pictures HERE

Lemme know what u think of the pix. As usual, I was the photographer. *sigh* No1 else eva bothers 2 bring a camera! Oh yea, Busola has that useless 2.0 mega pixel camera that I refuse to be captured by. Seriously, shouldn't that be illegal? Funmi has a 5.0 mega pixel camera, but you will NEVER see the pictures. I dunno wat the yeye girl does with them.

I checked out my analytics page thing, and I have compiled some funny search words below for your laughing pleasure. My thoughts are in pink....or whatever color that is.

# I'm horny
Ehen? Why did this bring you to my blog? Have I ever written on my blog that I'm horny? I think not!

# man forced to wear menstrual pad
I have to admit, I have always wanted to make a man do this.

# boobs blogs
I dunno if there is a blog about boobs, but it's not this one

# my little brother wore my thong
I hate to be the one to break this news to you, but your brother has a lil sugar in his tank...yeap, he's definitely playing 4 the other team

# I have a crush on an engaged man
Been there, done that.... waste of time

# Things to do with ur wife
I'm thinking a married man's blog might be the best to tell you

# Wait till i show u my birthday suite
Wait till you show who? You better be a man o!

# Horny and wet
Once again, I ask, why did these words bring you to my blog??

# Vera Ezimora's picture in Joy magazine
Na who be this sef? Mind ursef o; stop looking 4 me!!

# Kpom blog
Are you kidding me?


That's all for today, folks. I shall return!