49, Huh?

Word on the street is that Nigeria turns 49 tomorrow. Woop-tee-doo!! Feel my excitement? Oh, yeah, it's in there somewhere. I was going to write an article about Nigeria's birthday. I was going to write one of those articles - you know the ones that talk about where we've been, where we are, where we are going, and what we need to do to get there, but I thought "What the heck!" Today is the last day of September. I don't want to depress anyone. On that note, enjoy these pictures. I pulled them off Facebook a little while ago. I tell you, I do miss Nigeria. There's no place like home.

...And they had the nerves to call it Best Driving School. Best compared to which one??? Oh, the horror!

Who/what is more important? The human or the computer? Well, duh! The computer, obviously!

Will the real rider of the bike please raise his/her hand? [Anyone else notice there are cops right behind them?]

Of course, we have to look out for the health of the animals first.

Lonely? No problem! Call 1-800-Adopt-A-Goat today!!!

...And you thought you had to go work hard and all that ish??? Do As I Say Shap Ring is here for you. Naturally, they also do penis and "brest" enlargement. This Alhaji Doctor is a bad boy ooo. He even owns an office and two "gsms." Business must be good. Wait, a company actually ran this ad in their newspaper?

And when you're pissed off at the way things are in our country, please .... Be Patience.

JHappy Independence DayJ

P.S. Don't forget the poll. It's on the top of the right side bar. Thank you!!

Goodbye Public Picture Of Vera

My goodness, my heart has just been beating gbam gbam gbam ever since that Busola of a girl put up her wedding website. Busola got engaged in 2006 (can't believe it's been two years already) and I blogged about her engagement. Anyway, she made one of those wedding websites, of course. As her maid of honor (which really was an honor to her), she had to have my picture up there in her Bridal Party section...

So there it was.....a very clear picture of me with my name, Vera Ezimora clearly inscribed beside it. The thing was giving me hives. Every time I visited her site, I shrieked. Of course, I conveniently forgot to mention to bloggers that Busola's wedding website was up and that my picture was there. In fact, my blogging life came to a halt. Honestly, I didn't stop blogging because of my picture. I just got busy, but it all worked out, I guess because I know myself; I mighta let it slip out of my mouth (fingers).


Some people discovered me sha although they weren't bloggers, or at least not that I know of anyway. But this other website that I will also conveniently not mention here, their amebo members discovered me. Chei. They were having a 5th year anniversary party here in Maryland, but I sternly declined the invitation, feigning anonymity, only to be told, "But Vera, we already saw your picture na. We saw it on Busola's website. One of the members saw your picture and brought it to everyone's attention. He/she started a thread and told everyone that one of our writers is there." Well, isn't that just lovely! So, I bowed my head in shame and attended the party. lol.

But now, the website has expired. It expired ever since actually, and I have been making attempts to visit it, trying to trick the internet into leading me to it, just in case the big world wide web is hiding it, lol, but so far, nothing. Yay!!! I can now breathe and go to sleep easily. I'm not quite sure why I'm so into this picture thing. I'm not even 'anonymous.' A buncha people already know what I look like. And I am actually readily available to meet with people. I might as well be out with it, yes? I dunno how long I will keep hiding my face. A picture of me seems to surface on facebook every month. How long am I supposed to stalk facebook and untag all pictures of me? Ko easy oooo!!!

Anyway, now that the picture is gone, I'm sooooooo excited. I can now go around and look for trouble anywhere, anyhow, any time, knowing that no1 knows what I look like. I can go to SolomonSydelle's house and pee in her closet. She'll never know it was me. I can go to Naapali's house and steal one of his expensive bikes. He'll never know it was me. I can go to Standtall's house and steal Molly or Garfield (and use them to cook cat fried rice which I will serve to Standtall to eat). I can go to Aloofar the Effiko's house and steal his books (or pour coffee on them). Who will tell him I did it? I can throw a rock thru Bumight's window and she'll never know it was me. I can send a text to Qmoney, borrow some money and run away. She'll never see me. I can remove all the pegs on Oluwadee's clothes hanging on the line outside. I can post the video of Mizchif receiving a lap dance from the female stripper @ the strip club (Yeah, I bet she didn't know I knew! lol). I can kidnap Tobenna's fiancee and stand in her place. He'll never notice (wait, has the wedding passed???). I can steal Temmy Tayo's son. I can steal Simi Speak's daughter. Okay.... enough. Shebi you get the idea??? I am invincible!! Simply unstoppable.

By the way, happy one-year wedding anniversary to Busola!! She got married on the 27th of October 2007. Yes, I know today is November 1st, but so what??? And you will not believe what Funmi suggested she give her husband as an anniversary gift - I can just hear Funmi's heart pounding here. She thinks I'm gonna rub shit all over her face and tell all of blogville. Well, I'd like to, but ---- Happy Anniversary, Busola!!!

Shebi una remember Y?? The one we had a baby shower for where Funmi was shamelessly yahoozeeing?? Well, she had a bouncing baby gal!! As you read this now sef, I might be over there 4 the naming ceremony. If Funmi yahoozees today, you bet I'll capture it. Anything for you, blogville!! What can I say? I have no social life. You, blogville, are my social life.

My Feet Are On Fire

So how was every1's weekend? How many people got hitched, got pregnant, got beaten, stole someone's partner? Hooked up with an ex? No1? Was it just me then? LOL. Calm down, nothing like that happened to me. I be good gal now!

On Saturday (Feb 17th), I went for a wedding. I know the bride, but I don't know her personally. I only know her face, but she's a member of Busola's church, so Busola dragged me (and Frank, her fiance) along, while I dragged Uju along. A typical African thing.

Due to the fact that I am not an anonymous blogger, I cannot tell you how I actually felt about the wedding, but one thing is for sure, my friends and I had some mad fun dancing. I wore a pair of pink shoes. They're not high, but when you stand, walk and dance in them for hours, they start killing your feet. I just took a picture of it for your viewing pleasure. You can thank me later.

As usual, I took a buncha pictures, and you can view the pictures HERE

Lemme know what u think of the pix. As usual, I was the photographer. *sigh* No1 else eva bothers 2 bring a camera! Oh yea, Busola has that useless 2.0 mega pixel camera that I refuse to be captured by. Seriously, shouldn't that be illegal? Funmi has a 5.0 mega pixel camera, but you will NEVER see the pictures. I dunno wat the yeye girl does with them.

I checked out my analytics page thing, and I have compiled some funny search words below for your laughing pleasure. My thoughts are in pink....or whatever color that is.

# I'm horny
Ehen? Why did this bring you to my blog? Have I ever written on my blog that I'm horny? I think not!

# man forced to wear menstrual pad
I have to admit, I have always wanted to make a man do this.

# boobs blogs
I dunno if there is a blog about boobs, but it's not this one

# my little brother wore my thong
I hate to be the one to break this news to you, but your brother has a lil sugar in his tank...yeap, he's definitely playing 4 the other team

# I have a crush on an engaged man
Been there, done that.... waste of time

# Things to do with ur wife
I'm thinking a married man's blog might be the best to tell you

# Wait till i show u my birthday suite
Wait till you show who? You better be a man o!

# Horny and wet
Once again, I ask, why did these words bring you to my blog??

# Vera Ezimora's picture in Joy magazine
Na who be this sef? Mind ursef o; stop looking 4 me!!

# Kpom blog
Are you kidding me?


That's all for today, folks. I shall return!