Tomorrow On Moments With Mo: Dealing With It

Divorce.

This is a good topic. There's a reason why divorce rates in Nigeria are not as high as they are in westernized countries like America. Actually, there are several reasons. Of course, I'll be more than happy to share them with you!

1.  Nigerian women generally do not understand that men can be good, that a bad-acting man should be punished and not let to live under the "men will be men" cloak.

2.  Nigerians - both men and women - generally do not understand that there is a difference between being married and being MARRIED. One stands for being legally married, maybe sharing the same last name, living under the same roof, maybe on the same bed, and also hating each other's guts. The other one stands for all of the above, minus the hating part, plus the love, understanding, mutual trust, loyalty, etc. You get?

3.  Nigerians would rather separate for decades and go and marry new people than tell anyone that they are divorced. Divorced? No!! What, because they're now married to other people and now have kids with said other people? No, that doesn't mean they've divorced their former partners. In fact, what former partners do you speak of?

4.  Nigerians have taken the till death do us part of their vows literally. I may be wrong, of course, but I think that part of the vows is referring to natural death - not death by spouse.

There are more reasons, but I feel the spirit of an article coming on. On that note, when a person does decide to divorce, dealing with it can be agonizing, to say the least. In Dealing With It, Mo exposes life after divorce, and she delves into the stigma, the difficulties, and the pain, as she interviews people dealing with the strains of divorce. Segun Arinze shares the experience of his divorce, and starting over again.

Segun Arinze discusses his divorce with Mo

Mo and guests discuss the stigma and difficulties of divorce

Going through the process? Don’t drown in guilt, don’t live in the past. Tune in, and deal with it!

P.S. For those that asked, there is currently no way to subscribe to MNET if you're living in the States or U.K. However, each episode of the Moments With Mo show will soon be available for purchase.

Watch this episode of Moments With Mo tomorrow, Tuesday, November 16th 2010 on Mnet West Africa at 9:30pm.  If you miss it tomorrow, you can watch a repeat episode on Wednesday, November 17th 2010 at 2:00pm, and on Saturday, November 20th 2010 (all on Mnet West Africa).  Happy viewing 

J

  

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And for all you current and future fans of The Debaters, here's an update:

This week, the talkmates aruged for and against the motion, "Western incursion has greatly eroded African culture and traditions."  Izin, Olumide and Rachael were placed on probation by the judges for their inability to satisfy/impress them with their points.

A Week To Remember

Last year, I told you about the annual Shiloh Festival at House of Praise, Baltimore. Prior to that post, I had never attended the Shiloh Festival. Well, since I attended the Shiloh Festival last year, I have not been able to stop looking forward to it again. It was amazing! I witnessed first-hand the healing of a boy who could not hear before. 

Thankfully, the time has come again for the annual Shiloh Festival, and of course, yours truly will be there [Sunday, November 14th to Sunday, November 21st 2010]. This is not a sponsored post. This is an invitation from me. To you. Please come. I am confident that you will enjoy it. Besides, would you really give up an opportunity to hear a bunch of enthusiastic African people shout countless thunderous Alleluias till your ear drums are quarter to blasting and you swear Jesus is certainly coming down in the flesh? Okay, maybe you'd opt to miss that shouting part, but hey, you should still come for Shiloh. You're gonna love it. I guarantee it.

Below is the schedule of events

Day	Date	Time	Minister
Sunday	Nov. 14th 2010	10:30am	Apostle Sunny Aiyemo
Monday	Nov. 15th 2010	7:00pm	Apostle Sunny Aiyemo
Tuesday	Nov. 16th 2010	7:00pm	Apostle Sunny Aiyemo
Wednesday	Nov. 17th 2010	7:00pm	Praise Night
Thursday	Nov. 18th 2010	7:00pm	Pastor Dapo Oyewole
Friday	Nov. 19th 2010	7:00pm	Apostle Anselm Madubuko
Saturday	Nov. 20th 2010	7:00pm	Apostle Anselm Madubuko
Sunday	Nov. 21st 2010	10:30am	Apostle Anselm Madubuko

Venue: 

House of Praise, Baltimore

6101 Moravia Park Drive

Baltimore, MD 21206

Tel: 410.483.6101 OR 410.483.6107

E-mail: admin@houseofpraisebaltimore.org

Web: www.houseofpraisebaltimore.org

P.S. Church will be very full, so please, come on time.

P.P.S. If you'd like to meet, let me know before church starts. I'll be there everyday from Sunday to Monday.

P.P.P.S. If you have any questions about the event, please contact church. If you contact me, I may not be able to assist you satisfactorily.

P.P.P.P.S. Have I told you that you're guaranteed to have a great time?

Vera Ezimora on Facebook ||| Vera Ezimora on Twitter

Tomorrow On Moments With Mo: Never A Curse

As you know - or maybe you don't - when I get married, I will be giving birth to a set of confusingly identical twin boys. I have not decided what I will call them yet, but they will be cute and cuddly, and many, many girls will have crushes on them. However, I would have already been a pro at being a pro at being a shooter (with pistols and riffles), so they would know not to come too close to my handsome boys. Also, I will have two German Shepherd dogs, and I will not be afraid to release them on one or two girls.  

Those who have given birth to twins have asked me, "Are you sure?" several times, and each time, I have answered with a resounding yes. I want it. I will do what I have to do to get what I want. That's the happy side of it. There have been horror stories of mothers losing one or two of the babies before birth or during delivery. Sometimes, the mothers don't even make it out of the delivery room alive.

Mo shares some moments with the young triplets on the show

Mo discusses multiple births with adult triplets

This week, Mo takes a closer look at the complex issues surrounding multiple births and the unexpected reactions and realities that follow. She explores both sides of the coin as she follows the story of a couple who experienced the joy of a multiple birth, and a father’s heartbreaking tale of the loss of 3 of his sextuplets (6 babies) and wife during child birth.  Be part of this episode, and experience the mixed blessings of child birth.  

Watch this episode of Moments With Mo tomorrow, Tuesday, November 9th 2010 on Mnet West Africa at 9:30pm.  If you miss it tomorrow, you can watch a repeat episode on Wednesday, November 10th 2010 at 2:00pm, and on Saturday, November 13th 2010 (all on Mnet West Africa).  Happy viewing 

J

  

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I'm Off To Iraq

Today, I went to the shooting range with Uju, Tom, and 4MyPeople (who is quite famous in the Verastically Speakin' Talk Radio chat room). Uju and I had never been to the shooting range before. Apparently, one of us had to have experience shooting guns. Since Tom was in his native country during their war some years ago and he did in fact dodge bullets, we, the inexperienced jury came to a unanimous decision that Tom should be our sacrificial lamb. And thus, Tom became the one with the experience. I suggested to him that he tell them he used an AK-47 gun. But he did not think my idea was a good one. 4MyPeople suggested he tell them that he even killed someone with the AK-47. He also rejected that idea. I'm not sure why.

One by one, we went into the range to take our turns with the experienced one - Tom. Oh, the initial set-up was a comedy scene as Tom struggled to put the bullets into the gun (what do they call the place the bullets go into again?) 4MyPeople ran like a girl every time he thought the gun was facing him. And he screamed like a girl, too. Don't tell him I said that.  He managed to get two bullets into his target.

It was finally Uju's turn. She was in there for about five minutes, and then she came running out. The sound of the gun shots were too much for her to handle. Being the brave one that I was - trust me now! - I went in there, armed with determination and more determination. I'll admit, the sound of other gun shots frightened me, but unlike my opponent, Uju (yes, she is now my opponent), I did not run out. As Tom coached me on how to use the gun, I almost freaked out when he said, "Whatever you do, don't drop the gun. There are real bullets in there." Say what?! I thought these were placebo bullets - for lack of a better word.

Uju, on her way into the shooting range. Does she look like someone who's about to shoot?

My first shot jolted me back. I did not know that guns were so heavy. And I did not know that a gun shot came with such an intensity. You don't learn that from movies. And please, forget those smoke-spewing toys they use in Nollywood, the ones that kill the target before they are even fired. Out of the eight rounds of bullets, I managed to get three into my target, and one of them collapsed his lungs. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Uju went back for Take-2, and this time, she was able to stay the course. She got one bullet into her target. Because her bullet went into her target's neck, she swears it was the shot that ended it all. In her words, "it was the shot that got Saddam Hussein" (except, of course, that Saddam Hussein was not shot. He was hung. But let's leave that alone).

Uju was a little too happy about her alleged Saddam Husein shot

My three shots. You can see the one by the right that collapsed his lungs.

Up close and personal with Uju's pathetic little shot.

I now consider myself a pro shooter - yes, with just one lesson. Therefore, I have contacted my friend in the Marine Corps and told him to tell his recruiter to come and beg me to join them. Since they were unable to complete the job in Iraq (my friend included), I will go in there (with my new shooting skills) and single-handedly take out all the insurgents. I will end this war. I'm off to pack my bags for Iraq. I need to call my mobile company. Perhaps, I'll pay them in advance for the months I'll be at war. I have to take my Blackberry with me. A girl has to stay updated with tweets and facebook statuses, you know. Oh, and blog posts, of course!

It's now official. I am a baaaad ass chic! 

Vera Ezimora on Facebook ||| Vera Ezimora on Twitter

I Think He's Trying To Tell Us Something

It was only last week Thursday that I told you about the Nollywood flick, Men In Love, starring John Dumelo, Muna Obiefuna, and Tonto Dike. Well, another Nollywood flick is out - Dirty Secret (or about to be out), and this time, it's Frank Artus (a Liberian guy whom many have mistaken to be Ghanaian), Muna Obiefuna, Jibola Dabo, and Tonto Dike. I have seen Tonto with her legs in the air so many times that I have become desensitized to it. I no fit shout. I can't even complain anymore. As a matter of fact, not having her legs up in the air would be unusual.

But what is this thing with Muna Obiefuna? I'm still trying to get over his gay role in Men In Love - not because Nigerian men are not gay (of course not), but because Muna's portrayal of them was just laughable at its best. Now, I see him wearing a thong, which by the way is not how I have always pictured a man in thongs. He has completely ruined this for me! He's kissing another man --- an older guy this time (Jibola Dabo), and well, let's just say I'm torn between being disgusted and amused. Let's call it disgusmused. 

I am now highly suspicious of Muna Obiefuna. I think he's trying to tell us one of the following:

1. His acting career has seen better days, and he is now desperate for a role in a movie. Any role. Any movie.

2. No one ever gets to the top without doing a few crazy things, and he'll do anything to get there, damn it!

3. He actually does have a little sugar in his tank, and he's using style to tell us through his acting career.

I have not seen the movie yet, but I will watch it --- just so that I can come back here and tell you all about it, so in other words, watch out for Part II of this post aka The Review.

Vera Ezimora on Facebook ||| Vera Ezimora on Twitter 

Tomorrow On Moments With Mo: A Culture Worth Dying For

Sudden death is really not as sudden as we make it seem. A lot of times, it rears its head, gives its victims signs, probes them, and tries to cajole them for the path of the living, but they never quite listen. Thats's how they become its victims. My father is a medical doctor, and there are two complaints he always has about his patients (apart from their refusal to pay their bill on time or pay at all).

1.  They refuse to take their medications.

2.  They refuse to come in for a check-up when they are not feeling like themselves.

Both are dangerous, clearly, but focusing on the second part of this complaint, many have died from illnesses that could have been fixed by a short doctor's visit. And at the end, the result is blamed on an alleged witch in the village. 

Mo and guests discussing sudden death

Mo and a guest discussing sudden death

In A Culture Worth Dying For, Mo attempts to dispute the notion of sudden death, and she discusses the importance of regular medical checkups and how it is often taken for granted.  Mo also speaks to the family of Chantel Johnson, who was discovered to have leukemia during routine antenatal tests and died within a year of the diagnosis. 

If you can’t remember when your last medical check up was, or you’ve never had one, tune in to find out everything you need to know about healthy, prolonged living.


Watch this episode of Moments With Mo tomorrow, Tuesday, November 2nd 2010 on Mnet West Africa at 9:30pm.  If you miss it tomorrow, you can watch a repeat episode on Wednesday, November 3rd 2010 at 2:00pm, and on Saturday, November 6th 2010 (all on Mnet West Africa).  Happy viewing 

J

 

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Biko Nu, I Am NOT Pregnant!!!

So, my last post about my mysterious hard nipples got more pregnancy-related comments than I cared to have. I currently do not care to have any. I now feel the need to come back and explain further. At the beginning of the post, I said, "Lately, my nipples have become advanced ..." I should have explained that by lately, I meant, Since December 2009 or thereabout. If I were pregnant ... oh, never mind! I don't even know why I'm entertaining this thought. 

Secondly, there are two questions (from commenters) that I promised I would come back and respond to. Today is the day.


Anonymous 3 commented, "Hi Vera, I totally understand what you are going through. Have you tried nipple covers? (I hope that is what they are called?) It can be a bit of wahala. Info on any other thing you have tried will be indeed helpful."


My response: No, I have not tried nipple covers. Per what else I have done, well, my breasts are not small (Femi, shut up in advance!), so I try to stay away from padded bras. Anything that will make them appear bigger is not in my best interest. On that note, for the sake of my hard nipples, I have gone against my preference and worn padded bras anyway. But these nipples, when they become hard, there's no repressing them. They get really hard and really big. Graphic, I know. I have worn double layers of clothing, and I have tried my best to stay away from the cold, but all attempts have been null and void. When they do get hard, I usually press them down with my thumbs. This, of course, is an action that can only be done in private.


Rethots commented, "'...what I say in response to this question...' maybe you should just say."


My response: When people see my hard nipples and ask, "But Vera, what are you thinking about?" Sometimes, I try to give a genuine answer. I say something like, "Oh, nothing. It's just the cold." Or "Nothing. They're just acting up." And of course, sometimes, I laugh and say, "It's not what you're thinking." When I say this, the asker then adds, "How do you know what I'm thinking?" Either way, the asker keeps winking and his/her eyebrows continue to go up and down rapidly.


P.S. If you have not heard, Aloofa has threatened that if he does not see a picture of my nipples when he comes back to my blog, he will start a movement. It will be called the People's Democratic Front for the Viewing Of Vera's Glorious Nipples (PDFVVGN).


...And all I'm thinking is, he called them glorious J


Glorious: Magnificent, Splendid, Wonderful, Celebrated, Superb, Famous.


Why don't we all try to pretend not to know the implication of a pair of nipples being famous? Again, let's remember that Aloofa called them glorious! (Without the exclamation mark, but I'm sure he was thinking it).

Vera Ezimora on Facebook ||| Vera Ezimora on Twitter 

The Debaters: Voting Lines Are Open!

A while ago, I told you about the premiere of season two of The Debaters. Well, they're still on ... and their voting lines are open! Go vote for your favorite debater.

The Debaters is a TV reality show which involves 14 talkmates. 7 males and 7 females will go head to head against one another in the battle of words for the title, "The Debater of the year 2010"

More about The Debaters.

The Mysterious Case Of Vera Ezimora's Hard Nipples

Lately, my nipples have become advanced. They're like Vera's nipples 2.0! They seem to have evolved and gotten technologically, environmentally, emotionally, crazily in tune with the higher powers of Nipple-o-city. In other words, they have become very sensitive to everything, and I don't know why. Sometimes, I don't even know what everything means.

Naturally, these nipples get hard when the temperature drops around them --- like when I step outside and it's cold, like when the air conditioner stays on longer than it should, or like when I hang around the ice cream aisle too long. Sometimes, a chilling story can have the same effect on them --- like when I heard the story about the  burnt-face man who was blessed with a gorgeous wife, but for whatever reason, could not (still cannot) control his libido around other women. That's a chilling story, no?

Lately, however, my nipples have gone buck wild. They no longer get hard during these isolated times. They seem to get hard every time. I don't even know what compels them anymore. Whether it's hot or cold, they are hard. Whether I'm hearing a chilling story or watching a political ad campaign, they still get hard. In the comfort of my bedroom and in the congregation of my church, they get hard. Under a polyester bra and under a thick padded bra, they get hard ... and still manage to poke through my layers of clothes.

It has now become a matter of embarrassment. Those that know about my condition are constantly watching out for their hardness - which naturally, happens at the most inappropriate places and at the most inappropriate times.  It's only when I see the strange stares or hear the muffled giggles that I realize my two puppies are out there, sending a message that I have not told them to send.

And, of course, I sometimes get the subjective question, "But Vera, what are you thinking about?" No matter what I say in response to this question, I am already guilty in the eyes of my asker, which is always evident by the smile on his/her face and the rapid up-and-down movement of his/her eyebrows. It's almost a rhetorical question because the asker swears he/she already knows what is on my mind. There's apparently no thought on the face of the earth that would make a girl's nipples hard --- apart from thoughts of sex. Or thoughts of him - whoever he may be. He just may be Jesus, but no one would believe that anyway.

I could keep doing what I have been doing to reduce my embarrassment: crossing my arms across my chest. But I can only sit or stand in this position for so long. So what's a girl to do? Putting a picture up would have been splendid, I'm sure, but we're trying to reduce my humiliation here.

Vera Ezimora on Facebook ||| Vera Ezimora on Twitter 

Tomorrow On Moments With Mo: A Match Made In Heaven

Where would you go to find love? Well, that's the million dollar question. If I knew the answer, I'd be wrapped in my husband's arms right now, would I not? One place that has worked out for quite a number of people is the internet. Yes, the world wide web has proven to be a place for realizing dreams ... even marital ones. 

If the internet can help would-have-been-ordinary-people to become superstars, then why not soul mates. Of course, the thought of getting one's soul mate at the click of a button does question every norm we have about finding soul mates.  The only problem now, it seems, is that there are too many ways to meet your soul mate online. Dating sites like eHarmony.com and match.com? Social networks like Facebook and Twitter? Chat rooms? Apps like Blackberry Messenger? 

Mo, Jerome, and Guests discuss relationships.

This week, watch as a couple recounts their happily-ever-after tale and gives the details of how their online romance blossomed into blissful matrimony.  From cyber dating to speed dating, Join Mo as she uncovers  the most fascinating and most unconventional love stories!

Watch this episode of Moments With Mo tomorrow, Tuesday, October 26th 2010 on Mnet West Africa at 9:30pm.  If you miss it tomorrow, you can watch a repeat episode on Wednesday, October 27th 2010 at 2:00pm, and on Saturday, October 30th 2010 (all on Mnet West Africa).  Happy viewing 

J

 

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Nothing Here

In order not to receive the Vera-I-cannot-believe-you-did-not-update e-mails from loyal readers, I am hereby being proactive by putting up a

I-don't-have-much-to-say-right-now-because-I'm-preparing-for-a-church-play-tomorrow-and-I'm-really-nervous post.

I'll be right back J

Men In Love

*** MOVIE SPOILER ALERT!!!***

If you have not seen this movie and do not want any spoilers, please exit this post STAT ... by viewing my wish list.

If you have not seen this movie, and would like to see a preview first before deciding if you want to read this post, then skip to the end for a video preview.

If you have not seen this movie and do not care either way, then please, be my guest.

*************************************************************

So I watched the "highly anticipated" Nollywood flick, Men In Love. As you know, all Nollywood movies are highly anticipated. By who? They alone know, but that is by the way.

Having seen the preview before watching the movie, I already knew that at some point, John Dumelo and Muna Obiekwe would be caught doing the nasty. What I did not know was how they would get to that point, and so, I set off to watch this movie, clearly curious.

Plot: Whitney (Tonto Dikeh) is married to Charles (John Dumelo), a rich business man who has a problem with slipping into women other than his wife. After Whitney walks in on him and yet another mistress, she beats the crap out of her and breaks a bottle on her head. Repentant,  Charles vows to be changed man. One day, he bumps into his old friend from college, Alex (Muna Obiekwe). They hang out and reconnect. Alex tells Charles that he's gay. Charles is shocked, but not shocked enough to stay away after Alex starts coming on to him. Charles swears he's a straight man - of course - who has never been and will never be gay - of course.

Alex plays the if-we-can't-be-lovers-let's-be-friends card and invites Charles to his house for a party. Charles honors his invitation (without his wife) - smart move. Alex drugs Charles' drink, and after Charles falls asleep, Alex has his way with him. Some of you may know this as rape. In this case, I'd prefer to call it anal rape.

Charles wakes up in the morning, angry, punches Alex in the face and walks away... only to come back a couple of days later saying he wants Alex as his lover. Fast-forward to Charles and Alex being full blown lovers. Secret lovers, of course. Whitney has no clue. Alex moves into Charles house because his house is under some alleged construction. Charles begins to ignore Whitney. Fast-forward again to Whitney walking into Charles' office and finding her husband getting it from the back ... from another man.

Heartbroken, Whitney moves out of the house. But one day, she spots Charles and Alex at the store and she realizes that her husband is not happy. The Pastor confirms her fears. 

What fears, you ask? Oh, well, apparently, Alex had used juju to to make Charles gay. I mean, what other explaination could there possibly be? Men do not just sleep with other men! The Pastor comes to the house and prays. There is a power point sound effect, and va-va-voom, Charles is miraculously cured of his gayism. [Somebody, shout a thunderous Alleluia!] And they lived happily ever after. Oh, and Alex is sent to jail. The movie made it a point to let all you watchers - especially the secretly gay ones - that being caught in a homosexual act in Nigeria is a crime. I like it when they reiterate the Nigerian law in their movies ... like when they make statements like, "419 is a crime and the EFCC will not stand for it!" or "no one is above the law."  Psshhht, please! As if! 

I don't know about you, but I was utterly, completely, absolutely disappointed in this movie. It was actually a good script --- until that last part. It may be 2010, but we have not moved past blaming juju for everything that does not add up in our lives.  Why couldn't Charles just be a man who was doing it on the down low? Men like him exist everywhere --- including Nigeria where acts of homosexuality are apparently criminal. If you're going to make a movie about anything - homosexuality included - do it well.

The movie was written by Chisom Juliet Okereke, and let me tell you, sister, that's some jacked up mess you did at the end of the movie! I demand a refund of my time.

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