It was only last week Thursday that I told you about the Nollywood flick, Men In Love, starring John Dumelo, Muna Obiefuna, and Tonto Dike. Well, another Nollywood flick is out - Dirty Secret (or about to be out), and this time, it's Frank Artus (a Liberian guy whom many have mistaken to be Ghanaian), Muna Obiefuna, Jibola Dabo, and Tonto Dike. I have seen Tonto with her legs in the air so many times that I have become desensitized to it. I no fit shout. I can't even complain anymore. As a matter of fact, not having her legs up in the air would be unusual.
But what is this thing with Muna Obiefuna? I'm still trying to get over his gay role in Men In Love - not because Nigerian men are not gay (of course not), but because Muna's portrayal of them was just laughable at its best. Now, I see him wearing a thong, which by the way is not how I have always pictured a man in thongs. He has completely ruined this for me! He's kissing another man --- an older guy this time (Jibola Dabo), and well, let's just say I'm torn between being disgusted and amused. Let's call it disgusmused.
I am now highly suspicious of Muna Obiefuna. I think he's trying to tell us one of the following:
1. His acting career has seen better days, and he is now desperate for a role in a movie. Any role. Any movie.
2. No one ever gets to the top without doing a few crazy things, and he'll do anything to get there, damn it!
3. He actually does have a little sugar in his tank, and he's using style to tell us through his acting career.
I have not seen the movie yet, but I will watch it --- just so that I can come back here and tell you all about it, so in other words, watch out for Part II of this post aka The Review.
If you have not seen this movie and do not want any spoilers, please exit this post STAT ... by viewing my wish list.
If you have not seen this movie, and would like to see a preview first before deciding if you want to read this post, then skip to the end for a video preview.
If you have not seen this movie and do not care either way, then please, be my guest.
So I watched the "highly anticipated" Nollywood flick, Men In Love. As you know, all Nollywood movies are highly anticipated. By who? They alone know, but that is by the way.
Having seen the preview before watching the movie, I already knew that at some point, John Dumelo and Muna Obiekwe would be caught doing the nasty. What I did not know was how they would get to that point, and so, I set off to watch this movie, clearly curious.
Plot: Whitney (Tonto Dikeh) is married to Charles (John Dumelo), a rich business man who has a problem with slipping into women other than his wife. After Whitney walks in on him and yet another mistress, she beats the crap out of her and breaks a bottle on her head. Repentant, Charles vows to be changed man. One day, he bumps into his old friend from college, Alex (Muna Obiekwe). They hang out and reconnect. Alex tells Charles that he's gay. Charles is shocked, but not shocked enough to stay away after Alex starts coming on to him. Charles swears he's a straight man - of course - who has never been and will never be gay - of course.
Alex plays the if-we-can't-be-lovers-let's-be-friends card and invites Charles to his house for a party. Charles honors his invitation (without his wife) - smart move. Alex drugs Charles' drink, and after Charles falls asleep, Alex has his way with him. Some of you may know this as rape. In this case, I'd prefer to call it anal rape.
Charles wakes up in the morning, angry, punches Alex in the face and walks away... only to come back a couple of days later saying he wants Alex as his lover. Fast-forward to Charles and Alex being full blown lovers. Secret lovers, of course. Whitney has no clue. Alex moves into Charles house because his house is under some alleged construction. Charles begins to ignore Whitney. Fast-forward again to Whitney walking into Charles' office and finding her husband getting it from the back ... from another man.
Heartbroken, Whitney moves out of the house. But one day, she spots Charles and Alex at the store and she realizes that her husband is not happy. The Pastor confirms her fears.
What fears, you ask? Oh, well, apparently, Alex had used juju to to make Charles gay. I mean, what other explaination could there possibly be? Men do not just sleep with other men! The Pastor comes to the house and prays. There is a power point sound effect, and va-va-voom, Charles is miraculously cured of his gayism. [Somebody, shout a thunderous Alleluia!] And they lived happily ever after. Oh, and Alex is sent to jail. The movie made it a point to let all you watchers - especially the secretly gay ones - that being caught in a homosexual act in Nigeria is a crime. I like it when they reiterate the Nigerian law in their movies ... like when they make statements like, "419 is a crime and the EFCC will not stand for it!" or "no one is above the law." Psshhht, please! As if!
I don't know about you, but I was utterly, completely, absolutely disappointed in this movie. It was actually a good script --- until that last part. It may be 2010, but we have not moved past blaming juju for everything that does not add up in our lives. Why couldn't Charles just be a man who was doing it on the down low? Men like him exist everywhere --- including Nigeria where acts of homosexuality are apparently criminal. If you're going to make a movie about anything - homosexuality included - do it well.
The movie was written by Chisom Juliet Okereke, and let me tell you, sister, that's some jacked up mess you did at the end of the movie! I demand a refund of my time.
Majid Michel is my favorite [young] African actor.
Sorry, Naija folks! The Ghanaian one stole my heart. Is anyone as crazy for Majid as I am? Well, it's his acting that I am really crazy about. And no, seeing his bare bum in his latest movie, Heart of Men has absolutely nothing to do with my decision.
About Heart of Men ... have you seen it? Compared to your typical African movies, this one is good. I mean, it has a good plot with twists and turns. This movie has earned the right to say it's full of suspense. You know how every Nigerian movie - especially the stupid ones - always say they are full of suspense and intrigue. :::HISSSSS:::
That said, the movie could have been better. The plot, that is. The way it ended left me wondering some things, and even before it ended, I felt one or two things could have been done differently. I do have to commend them on the whole reminiscing thing. You know how Nigerian movies reminisce. Usually, the camera zooms into the sweaty face of the character, and then they replay the entire scene of whatever the character is remembering - which is usually like all of part 1! But that didn't happen in this movie. Nope. Enough about Heart of Men. This is about Majid ...
Good guy or bad guy, nice or mean, sensitive or insensitive, romantic or thoughtless .... he really gets into his character. I'll watch any movie, if Majid is in it. I'll watch a stupid movie to the end, if Majid is in it. Do you know how many smacks I could have given his bare bum in Heart of Men? ::Clearing throat:: It won't, of course, feel as good as smacking Mr. Shoe's bum. Hehehe. That was one heck of a smackable bum. [Hopefully, my mom will not read this]. Oh, but back to Majid ... did I forget to mention that Heart of Men has a lot of sex scenes? Oh, boy! Chics with no shirts on, Majid with no pants on .... mm mm mm!!! I should clarify that the part with shirtless chics totally didn't go anything for me... although I got to admire their bras - before they came off. Wonder where they got them. Oh, whatever. They'll be too small for me anyway.
Now, does anyone know where or how I can get Majid's number??? I just want to say hi, that's all.
My best friend, Busola, is absolutely sure that Dakore looks like a dude. In fact, to be more specific, she said she looks like a female Bob-Manuel Udokwu. And with make-up on, she looks like a drag queen. Busola does not believe that Dakore is ugly; she thinks she okay-looking, but she still looks like a dude.
Honestly speaking, I kinda see a lil resemblance between them. However, my problem with Dakore is not that she looks like a female Bob-Manuel, but rather that she won the Best Actress award here in Maryland, USA. Some months ago, some kinda Naija awards thing was held here in Maryland (you know Maryland people like feelin'), and Dakore won Best Actress. What da hell?!
If it weren't for Busola mentioning her striking resemblance to Bob-Manuel a few months ago, I woulda never even know the chic's name. I wouldn't consider her an A-List celeb; abi am I just ignorant of her achievements? So I'm wondering how she won the best actress award. I mean, who was she competing against? Herself? What happened to Stella Damasus, Chioma Chukwuka, Genevieve, Omotola, Oge Okoye, etc? Where were they when Dakore won? Anyways, lemme not talk too much. Those people that gave the awards musta been smoking some la la la la. That is the only plausible explanation I can come up with. Either that or her father paid them huge money, and she was the only one who wasn't shooting five or six movies @ the time.
So anyways, the issue of Dakore came up today because Busola was reading someone's blog, and in it, the girl mentioned that she went for Dakore's birthday party, and that Dakore was really pretty. That was how Busola went off the deep end o! Homegirl was cussin in my ear, "no the f*ck she's not pretty! She looks like a dude! Why will this girl lie? She's just kissin' her ass. Dakore ain't f*ckin pretty blah blah blah". I couldn't stop laughing. I had to tell her to take a deep breath and relax.
Needless to say, she does not think that Bob-Manuel is ugly. She just doesn't think we need to have a male and female version - especially if the female version still looks like a dude.
So what do y'll think: Striking resemblance? Or just Busola's insanity showing it's ugly head?
p.s. I have been instructed (by Busola) to clarify what I meant in my previous post when I said she could be a real bitch. I meant (and still mean) that she can have a bitchy attitude. I think Joel's comment may have lead Busola to believe that Joel thinks she is a bitch who sleeps around...instead of one who is just a bitch. Yeah, drama, right? I know.
Night Y'll.
I've got a new Bible (Women of Faith) that is calling my name. Oh, the colorful pages! Can't wait to go highlight some more verses. Yippee!
