Biko Nu, I Am NOT Pregnant!!!

So, my last post about my mysterious hard nipples got more pregnancy-related comments than I cared to have. I currently do not care to have any. I now feel the need to come back and explain further. At the beginning of the post, I said, "Lately, my nipples have become advanced ..." I should have explained that by lately, I meant, Since December 2009 or thereabout. If I were pregnant ... oh, never mind! I don't even know why I'm entertaining this thought. 

Secondly, there are two questions (from commenters) that I promised I would come back and respond to. Today is the day.


Anonymous 3 commented, "Hi Vera, I totally understand what you are going through. Have you tried nipple covers? (I hope that is what they are called?) It can be a bit of wahala. Info on any other thing you have tried will be indeed helpful."


My response: No, I have not tried nipple covers. Per what else I have done, well, my breasts are not small (Femi, shut up in advance!), so I try to stay away from padded bras. Anything that will make them appear bigger is not in my best interest. On that note, for the sake of my hard nipples, I have gone against my preference and worn padded bras anyway. But these nipples, when they become hard, there's no repressing them. They get really hard and really big. Graphic, I know. I have worn double layers of clothing, and I have tried my best to stay away from the cold, but all attempts have been null and void. When they do get hard, I usually press them down with my thumbs. This, of course, is an action that can only be done in private.


Rethots commented, "'...what I say in response to this question...' maybe you should just say."


My response: When people see my hard nipples and ask, "But Vera, what are you thinking about?" Sometimes, I try to give a genuine answer. I say something like, "Oh, nothing. It's just the cold." Or "Nothing. They're just acting up." And of course, sometimes, I laugh and say, "It's not what you're thinking." When I say this, the asker then adds, "How do you know what I'm thinking?" Either way, the asker keeps winking and his/her eyebrows continue to go up and down rapidly.


P.S. If you have not heard, Aloofa has threatened that if he does not see a picture of my nipples when he comes back to my blog, he will start a movement. It will be called the People's Democratic Front for the Viewing Of Vera's Glorious Nipples (PDFVVGN).


...And all I'm thinking is, he called them glorious J


Glorious: Magnificent, Splendid, Wonderful, Celebrated, Superb, Famous.


Why don't we all try to pretend not to know the implication of a pair of nipples being famous? Again, let's remember that Aloofa called them glorious! (Without the exclamation mark, but I'm sure he was thinking it).

Vera Ezimora on Facebook ||| Vera Ezimora on Twitter 

The Mysterious Case Of Vera Ezimora's Hard Nipples

Lately, my nipples have become advanced. They're like Vera's nipples 2.0! They seem to have evolved and gotten technologically, environmentally, emotionally, crazily in tune with the higher powers of Nipple-o-city. In other words, they have become very sensitive to everything, and I don't know why. Sometimes, I don't even know what everything means.

Naturally, these nipples get hard when the temperature drops around them --- like when I step outside and it's cold, like when the air conditioner stays on longer than it should, or like when I hang around the ice cream aisle too long. Sometimes, a chilling story can have the same effect on them --- like when I heard the story about the  burnt-face man who was blessed with a gorgeous wife, but for whatever reason, could not (still cannot) control his libido around other women. That's a chilling story, no?

Lately, however, my nipples have gone buck wild. They no longer get hard during these isolated times. They seem to get hard every time. I don't even know what compels them anymore. Whether it's hot or cold, they are hard. Whether I'm hearing a chilling story or watching a political ad campaign, they still get hard. In the comfort of my bedroom and in the congregation of my church, they get hard. Under a polyester bra and under a thick padded bra, they get hard ... and still manage to poke through my layers of clothes.

It has now become a matter of embarrassment. Those that know about my condition are constantly watching out for their hardness - which naturally, happens at the most inappropriate places and at the most inappropriate times.  It's only when I see the strange stares or hear the muffled giggles that I realize my two puppies are out there, sending a message that I have not told them to send.

And, of course, I sometimes get the subjective question, "But Vera, what are you thinking about?" No matter what I say in response to this question, I am already guilty in the eyes of my asker, which is always evident by the smile on his/her face and the rapid up-and-down movement of his/her eyebrows. It's almost a rhetorical question because the asker swears he/she already knows what is on my mind. There's apparently no thought on the face of the earth that would make a girl's nipples hard --- apart from thoughts of sex. Or thoughts of him - whoever he may be. He just may be Jesus, but no one would believe that anyway.

I could keep doing what I have been doing to reduce my embarrassment: crossing my arms across my chest. But I can only sit or stand in this position for so long. So what's a girl to do? Putting a picture up would have been splendid, I'm sure, but we're trying to reduce my humiliation here.

Vera Ezimora on Facebook ||| Vera Ezimora on Twitter 

The Secret To Perkier Breasts

I usually don't like to divulge such verastic secrets, but hey, it's a new year, so why not?  In my birthday post, I mentioned that my breasts are now perkier.  JustJoxy asked what my secret is.

Please read carefully, so that you, too, may enjoy of this bountiful joy:  Take your clothes off.   Done?  No, no.  Please, don't take a picture and send it to me.  Now, take your bra off.  Done?  Good.  Now, listen read carefully, and follow these steps:

1. Stand in front of a mirror (one that can get your entire upper body).
2. Look at your breasts and take a mental picture of them.
3. Now raise your hands --- slowly.
4. Keep raising them.  Reach for the sky.
5. Now look at your breasts again.

Voila!  Perkier breasts!!!

Note: Keep hands at the reach-for-the-sky position for continuous perkier breasts.  Yes, that means you should keep your hands up there for as long as you want to see those perkier breasts.

P.S. This secret recipe to perkier breasts is strictly for women.

P.P.S.  Yesterday's show about romance and finance was hawt. If you have not heard it, just click on the player by right sidebar of this blog, or click here.

P.P.P.S.  Pictures for the Valentine Blog Event - Show Me Your Love - are still being accepted.  Send pictures to project@verastic.com  You can read the details here.  Call/text 1.443.934.9039, if you have any questions.

P.P.P.P.S.  Verastically Livin' Blog will be four in two days [January 26th]!  Are you ready for the giveaway???  Starting from Tuesday, January 26, you'll be given the chance to win the giveaway.

P.P.P.P.P.S.  Next week on the radio, we'll be talking about cohabitation.  How beneficial - or not beneficial - is it to live with your partner before marriage???

P.P.P.P.P.P.S.  There's a new poll.  Go vote.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Soooo.... how about those perkier breasts??? J