Dear Host, Please Stop Inviting Me!

I dunno about other States, but there is a new trend (ok, maybe it's not so new) here in Maryland. People - and I'm not referring to the "party promoters" - throw parties to celebrate their birthday and then they charge you a gate/entrance fee. What nonsense!!!

Where do people come off inviting you for their "birthday party" and then charging you $30 before 11 o' clock or some nonsense like that??? So how much is it gonna be after 11? It doesn't even matter. If you wanna throw a birthday party, then do so and let people come and merry with you for free. If you don't have money to throw a party, then who says you have to? Why throw a party and tell me to pay? You might as well require all the guests to bring gifts. Whatever happened to good ol' staying home with friends and eating cake (and ice cream, of course)?

My phone and email have been bombarded with invitations to birthday parties where I am required to pay. Sometimes, there is even an enforced dress code. Why now??? I don't mind if there is a dress code; I just don't understand why it should be enforced for a birthday party. When you invite people to join you to celebrate your birthday, you're begging them for a favor - I think. In a large scale public event, of course, people have to pay and dress codes can be enforced. But for a birthday party??? Gimme a flippin' break! I could have been doing something else @ home - like watching funny commercials or something.

This is how all this nonsense starts ooo. Before I know it, couples getting married will start charging their guests at the door and even enforcing a strict asoebi dress code...with matching Italian shoes & bags sef! That will be the day. Yes, that will be the day that I, the Verastic lover will quit attending weddings and plan my own instead. By the day my wedding date rolls around, I'm sure a man would volunteer to stand in as my husband. And I'll make sure I renew my vows every month - just in case the man begins to forget he's married. But don't lemme get into all the plans I have for my wedding and marriage. That will be for another post.

Of course, there is a slight chance that I might be over reacting...seeing as I am not much of a party person (except when a dancing catharsis is necessary). So my reason for not attending these pay-at-the-door birthday parties isn't usually because I am required to pay, but rather, first and foremost because I just don't wanna go. If I did wanna go, having to pay @ the door would then become the reason why I will not be found there. Pay at the door for someone's birthday party????????? Please!!!

Oh, well. What do I know? I'm just a gal with an overactive imagination who thinks she can make certain things & places disappear. Hehehe. (Yes, I am aware that almost no1 knows what the heck I'm talking about. I said almost no1). But seriously, I think this is simply ridiculous. If you want to become a party promoter, then knock yourself out and stop hiding under the cloak of having a birthday party. *HISS*

Oh! And "Category A" of Naija Blogger Awards has started, so please COME ON DOWN!!! If you don't have a name for any category, don't leave it blank, write N/A or something. Better yet, fill every category with Vera Ezimora. Just a thought...! :-) Alright, I'm begging, please vote 4 me!!! If you do, I will.... I don't even know what I will do. What do you want me 2 do? Pray, do tell! Click HERE to vote.

Err...Don't Really Have A Title

If anyone can tell me what that psychopath by the left who calls herself Funmi is doing, then please do. If you ask her, she'll say she was dancing - yahoozeeing to be precise, but if you ask me, I'll say she had one too many whatever-she-was drinking. I guess it's not too bad since her dimple looks so pweety. That's the only good thing about the yeye gal. Oh, and her culinary skills too. Other than that.... *hiss* The past week & weekend has been so busy for me, hence the lack of an update. All I wanna do right now is close my eyes and sleep, but duty calls. On Saturday, we hosted a beautiful surprise baby shower for a dear friend, Y. We had mad fun. I mean, how many times do you attend a baby shower where there is a DJ and an after-party? lol. So yeah, you can say we had a lotta fun. I took lotsa pics. After I deleted the unnecessary and blurry ones, I was left with 250. I uploaded 28 of them for your viewing pleasure. Now, b4 any1 starts asking questions, lemme respond... No, I am not the one on the home page of my photo collections page. That's Uju & her nephew. I didn't even put the pictures there; the website automatically put them. And no, I am not in any of the pictures you're about to view from the shower...sorry. Just click on the most recent album, which is the one on top. Anyway, click HERE to view the pics.





Mom drove my car to work the other day because she was running late and didn't have time to stop by the gas station to put gas in her car. The next day, I went out with my car. Time to come down from the car and I realized the damage the woman had done. Chei. And she didn't even bother telling me. Maybe she thought I wouldn't notice? lol. So now, every time I wanna get outta the car, I have to wind down the window to open the door. This reminds of the molues in Naija. Haba, I'm too fine 4 this oo! What if I attend a posh party where there is valet parking? Wait, what if there are fine boys outside the parry and they see me getting outta my car in that manner?? That na scandal o. Chai!! Mommy, you no do me well @ all. It has been very inconvenient, as you can imagine because I keep forgetting that the door handle is bad. I turn off the car, attempt to get out, and then realize I have to start the car again to wind the window down. Ah, I will be rich in Jesus name. Shebi money is doing shakara 4 me now abi? lol. Anyway, I will try & fix it by this weekend. When I asked my mom about it, she gave the classical Naija response to everything, "It was the devil."


Come Friday, I may or may not be attending the African Bankers Award. I have never attended it before; in fact, I had never heard of it before now, but I was invited by the publisher of Kitu Kizuri Magazine. Why do I feel like this is one of her attempts to hook me up with an eligible bachelor? lol. She has been telling me to "get out there and meet new people". I've been meeting new people ooo! Look @ all the new bloggers I have discovered lately. lol.



Speaking of meeting new people, I met Ramsey Noah on Thursday. He was pretty cool. I took a picture with him. You can see it on my camera *sticking tongue out* I'll update in two or three days.

I Really Cannot Think Of A Subject

First of all, my sincere apologies go out to Noni Moss for making her like me and then having the effontry to not update. Imagine the likeness! What insolence! Ehm, Noni, please forgive me. It is the devil oh! But as we all know, the devil is a liar! Once again, he has failed. That being said, here is your verastic update.



I’m seriously starting to reconsider this my Wednesday update thingy. This is because sometimes I have something to blog about before Wednesday, but I have 2 wait till Wednesday, and by the time Wednesday comes, I have lost the zeal to blog about it; other times, I don’t have much 2 blog about on Wednesday, but I have 2 force myself because it is Wednesday. I think I will just go back to freestyling and blogging as the spirit moves me. I’m just gonna blog when I have something interesting 2 blog about, so do check back often.



On Saturday (Aug 11th), I attended NaijaFest with my friends, Busola, Funmi, Uju, and Ibukun. That yeye Chief was there too, and guess who I finally met? Cherub. She even introduced me to her boyfriend. (Ok, I just checked out Cherub’s page & found something out: she now lives in B’more?! When?! Obviously I have been missing out LOL.) Back 2 NaijaFest…I could not stay to the end because Uju and I had another party 2 attend. A mutual friend of our mothers was celebrating her 25th wedding anniversary in a big way, and we were ushers. We thought it was gonna be a small thing, but the woman said we should wear a huge gele. Here is a picture of Uju & her gele. Due 2 the anonymity of my face (yes, my face is anonymous in spite of what u may think!), I am unable 2 put pix of myself up (but if you already know what I look like – without my permission, then erase that memory from ur head!). Funmi, Busola & Timbo came 4 the party too. Busola was looking hot as usual; when will she realize that I can never marry her? Anyway…



Uju and I picked soooo much $$. It is a mystery that no1 stepped on and broke my fingers in the process of picking money. Let’s not even mention all the attitude I was getting from people who wanted me 2 change money 4 them in spite of the fact that we (Uju & I) were given specific instructions not 2 do so (because there were people @ the table that were designated to do so; they already had change ready...but you know Naija people never wanna wait their turns). Married men were committing adultery of the mind all over the place, and their wives were committing homicide of the mind. Why were they rolling their eyes at us (young, unmarried gals)? Look @ the men sef… *hiss*. Anyway, that is an issue I will write about in detail l8r. Busola & I went outside and two blokes approached us – what nerve! The one that approached me was about my height (5’ 5”) and dressed like a joke. Oh, he was also smoking, had alcohol all over his breathe, & was obviously not himself…I hope.


P*****: My name is P*****. But my friends call me Dutch or Prince. What is your name? (Actually, he pronounced it as ‘nem’)
Me: Vera.
P******: Vera? What kind of name is that? Are you Nigerian?
Me: Yes.
P******: And your name is Vera?
Me: Yes.
P******: Where are you from in Nigeria?
Me: Anambra.
P******: Oh, I know Anambra! It’s close to Onitsha, right?
Me: (amused): Onitsha is inside Anambra.
P******: Oh, ok. So what does Vera mean?
Me: Faithful.
P******: Oh, that’s nice. I like it. So can I call you sometime, Vera?
Me: No. I have a bf.
P******: Oh! That is a slap on the face. Well, let me give you my number just in case anything happens with your bf.



Whether I have a bf or not is not an issue here @ all because my response would have been the same regardless of my status. You know what the real issue is? This event happened in Baltimore. I am blogging with my real name. I told him my real name. And it is gonna be pretty funny if he ever gets 2 read this. But then again, it might not be funny. Perhaps, next time, I should give a different name? Anyway…that was my Saturday.

Back in the hall, Uju and I were dancing and he (P*****) came up 2 me and said, “Excuse me dance.” I almost fell out laughing. I don’t know what was funnier: that he said ‘excuse me dance’ (I mean, seriously, this is 2007…who says that?) or the fact that his Igbo accent made it sound “escooz me dans.” LOL. I have seen things oh! And that yeye Uju just left me and walked away.

On Sunday, I went back for the 2nd day of NaijaFest – not because I cared 4 it, but because the publisher of Kitu Kizuri Magazine was around, and I had 2 go. Wish I could put up the pictures we took...but remember how I am anonymous? Sunday was not as eventful as Saturday, although there was this couple bumping and grinding to the Congolese band that was performing. This was in broad daylight and there were kids there. I mean, common! It was not even cute! Because I left NaijaFest early yesterday, I missed the per4mances of ElDee & Banky, but I heard they were really good though. Oh well, next time I guess. Banky sounds very good. I hope God opens mad doors 4 him. Amen.

Every Woman is coming along…whew! It’s exhausting, but it’s coming along. I just want 2 finish already! I'm done with Jazz, almost done with Moremi. After that, I'll be moving along to Ebele. Thanks 2 all those that read & commented on When I Became A Woman. Thank you!!! As soon as I publish this post, I'm gonna go finish writing about Moremi, then I'll take a lil break...do a few blog rounds and go write about Ebele. I wonder if I can start & finish Ebele today?? Hmmm. Hopefully, I can. We'll see.


Oh, and does any1 know how I can stop my snapvine from playing automatically when you visit my page? Snapvine people don dey vex me o! *HISS*