Err...Don't Really Have A Title

If anyone can tell me what that psychopath by the left who calls herself Funmi is doing, then please do. If you ask her, she'll say she was dancing - yahoozeeing to be precise, but if you ask me, I'll say she had one too many whatever-she-was drinking. I guess it's not too bad since her dimple looks so pweety. That's the only good thing about the yeye gal. Oh, and her culinary skills too. Other than that.... *hiss* The past week & weekend has been so busy for me, hence the lack of an update. All I wanna do right now is close my eyes and sleep, but duty calls. On Saturday, we hosted a beautiful surprise baby shower for a dear friend, Y. We had mad fun. I mean, how many times do you attend a baby shower where there is a DJ and an after-party? lol. So yeah, you can say we had a lotta fun. I took lotsa pics. After I deleted the unnecessary and blurry ones, I was left with 250. I uploaded 28 of them for your viewing pleasure. Now, b4 any1 starts asking questions, lemme respond... No, I am not the one on the home page of my photo collections page. That's Uju & her nephew. I didn't even put the pictures there; the website automatically put them. And no, I am not in any of the pictures you're about to view from the shower...sorry. Just click on the most recent album, which is the one on top. Anyway, click HERE to view the pics.





Mom drove my car to work the other day because she was running late and didn't have time to stop by the gas station to put gas in her car. The next day, I went out with my car. Time to come down from the car and I realized the damage the woman had done. Chei. And she didn't even bother telling me. Maybe she thought I wouldn't notice? lol. So now, every time I wanna get outta the car, I have to wind down the window to open the door. This reminds of the molues in Naija. Haba, I'm too fine 4 this oo! What if I attend a posh party where there is valet parking? Wait, what if there are fine boys outside the parry and they see me getting outta my car in that manner?? That na scandal o. Chai!! Mommy, you no do me well @ all. It has been very inconvenient, as you can imagine because I keep forgetting that the door handle is bad. I turn off the car, attempt to get out, and then realize I have to start the car again to wind the window down. Ah, I will be rich in Jesus name. Shebi money is doing shakara 4 me now abi? lol. Anyway, I will try & fix it by this weekend. When I asked my mom about it, she gave the classical Naija response to everything, "It was the devil."


Come Friday, I may or may not be attending the African Bankers Award. I have never attended it before; in fact, I had never heard of it before now, but I was invited by the publisher of Kitu Kizuri Magazine. Why do I feel like this is one of her attempts to hook me up with an eligible bachelor? lol. She has been telling me to "get out there and meet new people". I've been meeting new people ooo! Look @ all the new bloggers I have discovered lately. lol.



Speaking of meeting new people, I met Ramsey Noah on Thursday. He was pretty cool. I took a picture with him. You can see it on my camera *sticking tongue out* I'll update in two or three days.

Opportunities

I spent my weekend @ Ocean City, Maryland, but I will blog about the experience when I update later. For now, there are a few things I have to mention.

My Contant Info:

So apparently, it has been next to impossible to get me on the phone. Oops. The other day, I managed to listen to the voicemail, and I started returning calls from April. LOL. Anyway, all that has changed now. However, if you do call me and I don't pick up. please leave a message that includes your name & number. I'll have a mighty hard time returning calls with no messages. So now, you have three ways of contacting me, and they are all current.

Address: P. O. BOX 7893
Essex MD 21221
USA

Email: vera@verastic.com

Number: 443-934-9039

I'll be looking forward to hearing from you all.

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Event Planning

If you live in the MD/DC area and need an affordable event planner for your event (wedding, party, whatever), then email enneventplanning@yahoo.com And yes, I am 'affiliated' with Enn. Shoot, I just might be planning your next event! *wink, wink*

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Kitu Kizuri Interview

I'm gonna be writing a new article for Kitu Kizuri, and I need to interview single African women who are at least 25 years old. If you're interested, please contact me ASAP. Feel free to send me a snail mail, an e-mail, or just call.

Criteria:
1. Must be female & African
2. Must be at least 25.
3. Must be single. (Single as in neither married, engaged, nor in a relationship).

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A short film is being shot (or about to be shot), so if you live around (or can make it to) the MD/DC area, then read the following:

Nigerian Actor(s) needed for Short Student Film in Washington, DC

We need a young (age 23 to a young looking 28), tall, and well dressedAfrican (most ideally Nigerian) actor to be a short film shooting inDC during the last weekend of August. The actor be able expressemotions with very little direction. He must be able to speak in anauthentic African and American accent. He must be able to speak"Pidgen" or broken English as well. The role requires some basic dancemoves. There will be dance and blocking practices in early or midAugust that he MUST be able to attend in order to seal the role.

We are also casting for a supporting Female role. She must be in herearly to mid 20's, well dressed and have a GREAT sense of humor. Weneed a very witty girl. The part is small, but very fun and greatexposure for the right actress.

Summary--Through a series of wacky dreams, a young Nigerian manrealizes that that his Bollywood obsessed ex-girlfriend is truly theone for him.

This is a no pay gig, but we can offer the chosen one film credit, acopy of the film, food, jokes, kindness and fun!

If interested, please send a headshot and resume to aikwueme@gmail.com. Also, include a phone number so we can contact you.

Lancome Jazzed Me

Trouble dey sleep, iyanga dey go wake am up. Lancome people were there on their own oh, and I carried myself and went to them.


Some weeks ago, I was passing through Lancome at Macy's when I saw a flyer for 'Gal's Night Out.' What really, really, caught my eyes was the fact the fact that it was FREE. As a proper Naija gal, you know I have to love all things free. The Gal's Nite Out party was to have my make-up done for FREE by none other than Tommy. Who is Tommy? I had no clue, but I was going to find out for sure.

I invited Funmi and Uju. They both didn't make it. Uju had some reservations because she said Lancome will make her spend money she does not have. Eventually, I convinced her to come, but she still couldn't cause she had to work. Funmi said she did not want to come because they would use the same brush they used for other people for her. Funmi gat jokessss! She must think that makeup artists change their brushes per customer. Anyway, I made an appointment for today at 6:30 PM sharp.

Before I went, my mind was already made up that I will not spend a penny. I knew there was nothing Lancome will say or do to me to ever make me change my mind. So some make-up lady started prepping me sha. Prepping me included cleaning my face with something, rubbing some gel on my face, washing the gel off, rubbing something else on my face, and then rubbing some lotion on top of the something. Oh, and she also rubbed something around my eyes - special lotion for my eyes. She asked me what kinda lotion I rub on my face, and when I told her that I rub my regular good ol' Olay BODY lotion, she almost had a heart attack.

"Body lotion?! You rub body lotion on your face?!"

Ah ah! See me see wahala oo. Is my face no longer part of my body? LOL.


I could not hide my ignorance o. I had to ask her, "Am I supposed to be rubbing something else on my face?"


"Yes! Never, ever rub body lotion on your face. You're lucky you have nice skin...." She went on to explain that the skin on other parts of our body is a lot stronger and tougher than the one on our face. The way she was rubbing the lotion on my face felt really, really good, so I had to ask (out of curiousity), "How much is the lotion?"


She said, "$43"


Forty-flipping-three dollars! Only for one small bottle of lotion?? You've gotta be kidding me. Does she know what I can buy with $43? Four big bottles of Olay body lotion. Big bottles ooo! And this does not include the cost of the other things she put on my face before the lotion alone sef. I could not help but ask her if she goes through the routine everyday, and she said yes. Everyday ke? Does she know how long I take in the bathroom already?? To add five more steps to my bathroom routine will mean an extra thirty minutes for me oh.



Anyway, so after the prepping sha, Tommy finally started working on me. He was kinda cute. Unfortunately, he's gay. Why do the cute ones have to be gay? Apparently, Tommy is a big Lancome makeup artist in New York. He made me up sha, and all through, he could not stop complementing my eyes. In my mind, I was just thinking, "Tommy, you can say what you want oh, but you will not make me spend a dime here! I know you're just tryna sell your product."

Finally, Tommy finished and gave me a mirror, and I was like... WOW!! He actually did a wonderful job. I absolutely loved what he did with my eyes. In fact, I loved the whole nine yards. To be honest, the part of my face that gets the most compliments (however weird the compliments may be) is my eyes. And my eyes are my favorite part to makeup. Tommy used silver eye liner and I was loving it!


At the end, the lady that prepped me asked, "So what will you be taking home today?" She was smart enough to not say, "What will you be BUYING today?"

My brothers and sisters, before the woman finished talking sef, I said, "I want the silver eye liner."


Twenty-freaking-three dollars!!! What da...?! That was how I whipped out my card and paid for it oh. As I drove home, all I could think about was the twenty-three dollars I spent on one skinny eye pencil/liner. How will I explain this to my husband? LOL. Okay, wake up, Vera...you are not married! LOL. Honestly, I really, really like the thing sha, but I just feel really bad for spending so much on only an eye pencil. Which kin yeye thing be this? If I add like $60 to it, I will be able to add one more perfume to my collection (I will blog about my perfumes some other day). But chei!!! These Lancome people don jazz me. Can you imagine the likeness?! A whole me? Realistically, the eye pencil is really long, but how often do I used make up? I have a drawer full of makeup, but I only use them when I'm attending something. I do not have time to be using make-up every time I'm going out.

You know what I'm thinking about? I think I like the foundation too. I hope the Mary Kay people do not read this, but I think the Lancome foundation is better than the Mary Kay one. It probably costs like $35 as opposed to the $14 one I buy from Mary Kay (which is already expensive to me sef). Abeg, I never publish my book na. I'm gonna call them tomorrow and ask how much the foundation costs. And it better be lasting for at least one year! Anyways, to other issues sha...



Nigerian Reunion: I have never, ever attended a Nigerian Reunion. From what I have heard, NRC is the best reunion organizer. They are the ones I have known the longest sha. But anyway, NRC is finally hosting the Nigerian Reunion here in B'more this year, and I'm seriously considering attending it. What will be my excuse for not attending it? I went on their website to see what they will be doing, and one of the things is speed dating. LOL. I am currently writing a new article for Kitu Kizuri, and I am supposed to be open to new ideas and new ways to meet new people. I just might take part in this speed dating thing. If I don't chicken out, I'll definitely take part in it, but I'll need my friends there oo. Hey, what's there to lose??



...But before I call Lancome tomorrow, can someone please tell me to get a grip! Please, stop me. Tell me I cannot afford a tiny bottle of foundation that costs so much. please, tell me.

Kai...but the thing fine sha. I love the foundation so much that I don't even wanna wash my face tonight, but I can't go to bed with so much crap on my face. I don't wanna wake up with pimples the size of moles in the morning. Maybe I'll return the eye pencil/liner and get the foundation. Noooo, I want them both. Oh, Lord! This is a dilemna!!



Help....!



.....Sleepless in Baltimore.

My Very First Time With Him

I still cannot believe I am about to tell you this story. What has gotten into me? I seem to have lost my inhibitions. Could it be the can of coke I just downed? Anyway, Mr. T was my first. Before him, I had never done it with anyone else. Of course, I always thought about it; always wondered when I would be bold enough to make that move, always wondered how, where, when, and with whom. I did not consciously decide that Mr. T would be my first though; it just happened unexpectedly. One of those moments, I guess.

I cannot really remember the exact date (which is weird cause gals usually remember such things), but I know it was sometime in April or May of 2005. Mr. T and I had been hanging out a lot, not quite dating yet (at least not to my knowledge). We spent a lotta time in Uju's house; we had a ritual of hanging out every Friday night, and some nights, we slept in Uju's house (that was our hangout spot). There was nothing going on between us though - no pecking, kissing, or anything more than that even. The most we did was hug. Until the morning it happened.

At the risk of making his head swell, I would say he was a very patient guy. He never pushed for anything. Once I said no, he let it go. But that morning was different - not because he asked for anything, but because I willingly gave it to him, and he was pleasantly surprised. I had woken up that Saturday morning in Uju's house as usual. I brushed my teeth with the toothbrush I permanently kept @ Uju's house while Mr. was still sleeping. After brushing my teeth, I woke him up and asked him to meet me in the bathroom. And that was where it happened...

...I gave him my toothbrush!! The moment was surreal, almost unbelieveable. I, Vera, first and only daughter of my father, I shared my toothbrush!! Can you believe this? He didn't ask for it; I willingly gave it to him. And it was not a toothbrush I was intending to throw away o! It was a perfectly good toothbrush. Sure, I don't use it all the time, but still, it was a perfectly good toothbrush.

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Kitu Kizuri is finally out and about. Those that have received their copies had nothing but good words 2 say about it. It's not late to subscribe, so you can also get the first issue. It's a GREAT read, and I would recommend it to all Africans - men and women alike. And it is not expensive either, so you cannot say money is the problem. Check www.kitukizuri.com for more details, please.

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I just bought Robin Thicke's new CD, 'The Evolution of Robin Thicke', and I am loving it! The CD came with a free 'Lost Without You' ringtone, and of course, I have been enjoying it. Who wouldn't? I have to say, I absolutely love the CD. Robin Thicke is just sooo soulful. Until I saw his picture, I was sure he was black. I love it!! Did I already say that??

Until next wednesday, have a wonderful week!

kn;kqendl;skdnsklkda (AKA I Don't Have A Title)

Mehn, I’m so ashamed of myself; I have not written in what seems like ages. I’ve been a naughty gal…somebody spank me, please. Seriously, I need to write!

I have been so lazy lately. All I wanna do is sleep, and if I didn’t know better, I woulda thought I was pregnant. This kin sleep enjoyment dey too much o! But as from tomorrow, I will definitely change my routine. In my defense sha, my bed is just too cozy, so leaving it is hard.

So the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby, Dannielynn has finally determined to be Larry Birkhead. Well, duh! I saw that one coming. For some reason, I’m happy he’s the father. I don’t even know either of them men personally, yet Birkhead has somehow become my favorite. Needless to say, I’m still saddened by the death of Anna Nicole. I always thought she was beautiful. It’s sad that Dannielynn (the baby) would never know her brother and mother; that would be traumatic for the lil gal when she grows up, I imagine. But God is not sleeping. He knows why He let it happen. Click HERE to read more about this.

By the way, do y’ll know Anna Nicole is actually a brunette? LOL. I didn’t see that one coming. Do you know how much bleach her hair has gone thru? Nawa o!

So Mr. T got me the new CDs of 2Face, Faze & D’Banj. I didn’t actually ask him to bring Faze (cause I didn’t know his new album was out), but I’m glad he did. Faze is a very talented guy. I’m very proud of him. After listening to all the albums, I like 2Face’s Cd the best. Faze comes in 2nd although it was a very close call and then D’Banj is third. I love 2Face’s simplicity and humility (I heard from a friend who met him when he came 2 Maryland that he is very humble). Faze came in 2nd, not because he is less talented, but because 2Face has already stolen my heart. D’Banj….hmmm. Apart from the ‘Why Me?’ song and the tongolo & tongolo remix, nothing else tickles my fancy. I like his style, but I’m not into all that ‘bend over and lemme hit it from the back’ kinda lyrics…which is why I’m not a fan of rap. It’s too errrrr 4 me.

I recently watched a Nigerian movie called ‘Through The Fire’, and it was great! It was written and directed by Chuks Etolue. He is based here in Maryland and he did a fantastic job with the movie. It’s real and realistic. It’s not the kinda yeye movies they make about Yankee in Naija, which are obviously written by someone who knows nothing about Yankee and has not taken out the time to do some research. It’s a wonderful movie and it brought me to tears. Maybe I’m just too emotional, but I seriously doubt it.

Once again, I’ll leave you with some funny search keywords that brought people to my blog. As usual, I do not understand most of them. My thoughts are in green and italics…

• Benson, I won’t worry my life away (Who da heck is Benson?)
• How do you make life easy when you want to leave your Bloke? (Hmmm, tough question. Does he pay your bills? If so, sorry oh, sistah…I no fit help you)
• Things to do to make your man go crazy in bed (Uhm…)
• Husband forced to wear menstruation pads (I hope he was at least on his period)
• Sniffing my aunty’s thongs (Eww! Be ashamed of yourself, please. Yuck!!)
• Left boyfriend handcuffed to the bed (For how long? I hope he’s free now)
• Things to do when you’re alive (Is there a list of things to do when you’re dead?)
• Buki is chasing him (Which Buki is this? London Buki?? Okay, lemme give her a call and find out why she’s chasing him).

Funny huh? LOL

If you have not subscribed to Kitu Kizuri, then this would be a good time to do so. The magazine has just left the printers and is on its way to the homes of subscribers. Please visit www.kitukizuri.com to subscribe.

My mom is complaining that telemarketers are calling her cell phone, so now, she is calling the number back to “warn” them to stop calling her cell phone…even though it’s almost eleven PM. I tell you, this woman is just very funny!

Funmi is thinking about having a cookout in her house this summer, and though she has not set a date, I’m so flippin excited! Being with my friends never stops making me happy and feeling like all is well. In fact, I have been tryna figure out what to wear for the cookout. And of course, I have to go armed with my camera, extra batteries and the charger for the batteries. Go Vera!
That's it for now. I'll be back l8r.

Kitu Kizuri

First of all, I wanna apologize for not updating for sooo long; it has been due to the extra writing I have had to do and some other issues...like coming to New York and planning Grandma's surprise party (which I will invite bloggers to later when I have all the details straightened out). But that's another story.

Kitu Kizuri is a new quarterly African Women's magazine, which is currently in print, and will be available in April for the public. I'm pretty sure there are lots of other African magazines out there...maybe not, but Kitu Kizuri is very different. Think of it as the Essence of African women, xcept, it is by us, for us, and about us.

Personally, I have never read any African women's magazine that really touches home with me; in fact, I doubt if I have ever read any African women's magazine at all. They might claim to be African, but after reading one page, you quickly realize that they are geared towards one country only or towards only one part of Africa (ex: West Africa), so it's Kitu Kizuri to the rescue. Kitu Kizuri features the whole of Africa, and it is absolutely brilliant because we as Africans need to stop segregating ourselves and come together as one Africa. We may have different languages and be located in different countries, but we are still one and the same Africa. Deep down, we have the same belief in the core of our being. Trust and love has brought us thus far, and it will continue to. That is what Kitu Kizuri is all about.

If you care to know, Kitu Kizuri means something beautiful/good in Swahili. Please, visit www.kitukizuri.com for more details. And subscribe! I did not type this whole sermon out of boredom; I typed it for you to be knowledgeable of the beautiful something around us and subscribe to it....ASAP.

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Due to the obvious (but surprising) lack of time that I have, I would not be able to blog as often as I used to. I have decided to dedicate myself to update once a week (or more than once if I have some interesting news to share). But I will still be doing my blog rolls every chance I get o! I was gonna pick either monday or tuesday as my 'update day', but seeing as it is already Wednesday and no update was made on said Monday & Tuesday, I have decided to make Wednesday my 'update day'. I will still reply any comments you leave at any time o...but I need to concentrate on my books if I intend to have them published.

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I'm currently in NY. I got here yesterday with my mom, grandma, aunt, and nephew. It was an unplanned trip. My Uncle who moved to the States in June got called to Bar (i.e. he passed his Bar & has been officially sworn in as an American Lawyer). I'm really, really proud of him; he just came here in June of last year, and he has accomplished what many have not been able to. He didn't go to Law school here, and did not attend any classes for Law when he got here. He just read, prayed and passed. Na so God dey work wonder. So it goes without saying that people in my family are smart...hehehehe.

Needless to say, sitting in that car for 3.5 hours with my family (on the way to NY) was not as joyous as you'd expect. Mom was driving and I was sitting in the front, giving her directions. Grandma was constantly saying, "Vera, we just passed another sign board o! I hope you're looking because I don't wanna get lost". And every time my mother hit the brake, my Grandma screamed, "Jesus!"

We leave here tomorrow at 5am. I can't wait to go back home, although I do dread having to sit thru another Grandma drama, but I miss my laptop. I saw all the comments on my previous post, but I did not wanna reply cause I didn't wanna open my blog on uncle's desktop. You never know what kinda incriminating evidence one can find about me on my blog. I will reply them soon as I get home.

So that is it for now, my wonderful ladies and gents. We go yarn next wednesday.

Have a wonderful week.