For The Love Of Tigeress

Verastically Speakin Talk Radio will be airing on Saturday, and we'll be talking about women who are accomplished, at least 30, and single. It's gonna be hawt!! Tune in www.blogtalkradio.com/verastic And if you have any comments on the issue, you know where to reach me ---> radio@verastic.com

I'll be co-hosting with Good Naija Girl, Rosie, KC (a guy), a girl in London whose real name I cannot disclose at the moment because I don't know if she wants it disclosed, and... Tigeress! Yes, our very own Tigeress. I e-mailed her and begged her to co-host, but the girl - such an extortionist! - insisted that we meet face to face. So meet, we did.

On Friday, August 14th 2009, I had a busy day, but I made it all the way to see Tigeress (even though she was about 40 minutes away from me. Yes, this is love), and we met. The babe is fine ooo! And I got to play with her birthday hair. But we forgot to take pics. Some other time.

On my way, my face looked just the way I felt: tired. So while I was driving, before I got to the tunnel, I took the opportunity to do a little make-up. Make-up here = only eye pencil. There is a reason why we are advised not to do make-up and drive at the same time. The way the eye pencil was drawn everywhere but where I wanted it, it looked like I had suffered two black eyes on one eye. Even I, was afraid of myself. I was eventually able to wipe it off and make it look descent. All for the love of Tigeress, of course.

When I was almost on her street, I had to park and turn my hazzard lights on. Why? My magic lip gloss was missing! Okay, it's not magic per se, but it's my favorite, and I wanted to put it on - just for Tigeress. Alas, that did not come to be. I was stuck with vaseline *sigh*

I planned on leaving at 8 PM (cause I just had to be home in time to watch Monk @ 9:00 PM), but that didn't happen. You see, Tigeress took a liking - more like a "loving" - to me and practically went down on her knees and begged me to stay. As the kind-hearted person that I am, I couldn't say no. How can one say no to that birthday hair? So stay, I did.

We were going to get chicken from some Naija joint, but that didn't happen. Tigeress found interest in something someone else. Unfortunately, I left 10 minutes before her friend came back with the chicken. My only regret is that Bumight went there after me, and I fear that she ate what would have been mine. I hoped she will choke on it, but she's still tweeting; I think that means she did not choke. One of two things could have happened: 1 - She didn't eat the chicken. 2 - She ate the chicken and didn't choke. Aaaahhh.

Well, that's it for now, folks!! Be back Saturday.

P.S. This Saturday show is attracting a lotta attention. I wonder why. I may or may not be getting two more co-hosts. Hey, the more the merrier, right? But boy... so much estrogen! Thank goodness I have a man on the show too. A little testosterone to calm my their nerves.

Happily Single & All That Other Stuff...

Happily married ... of course!

Happily single ... what?

Yeah, that's what we're talking about on the radio on Saturday. Set your reminders! Saturday, August 15th 2009 :: 10:00 AM U.S. EST/ 3:00 PM GMT time

Has everyone heard last Saturday's show? It was so much fun that the show became full and couldn't take anymore calls. It's so unfortunate that so many people were scrambling to hear my very sexy voice, but couldn't get through. Oh, life can be so cruel! Or maybe it was full because there were so many women tying up the line, tryna hear the voices of the men I had. Shameless. You all are shameless. But who can blame you? I was giddy too. The last time I had so much testosterone was uhm --- uhm --- never! If you haven't heard my men tell us what men want, just check out the audio player on the right sidebar. Or you can download it HERE.

P.S. If anyone still wants Ekene Agabu's number, home address, social security number, date & place of birth, age, height, weight, favorite color, and of course, most importantly, favorite toothpaste, I'm here to help .... for a very minimal and convenient fee of one bottle of any of the following perfumes ===> Pour Femme by Bvlgari, Romance by Ralph Lauren, Miracle Forever by Lancome, Nina by Nina Ricci, Rock n Rose by Valentino, Diamonds by Emperio Armani, and lastly, Vera Wang by Vera Wang. Vera is my homegirl!

Next week Saturday (August 22nd), I'll be doing the show about women who are 30, accomplished, and single. Amazingly, I still do not have an actual co-host. I have potential co-hosts, but nothing definite yet. I have come up with five reasons why it's so difficult to find co-hosts:

a. All the single 30 year olds have now regressed back to being 29.

b. All the singles have gotten married since I scheduled the show.

c. Ever since I put statuses on Twitter & Facebook, all the single, 30 year old women have vanished off the face of the virtual earthd (so they know nothing of this upcoming show that I write of).

d. They want to co-host, but they don't know that I cannot read their mind. They do not know that I need them to contact me ASAP ===> radio@verastic.com 1-443-934-9039

e. None of the above. According to one beautiful, single, 30 year old woman, they're just "shocked that they're 30 and single..." If that be the case, please come out of the shock! I need you.

Look, peeps, snap out of it and contact me. I have begged. I have asked. I have cajoled. I have pleaded. What the heck else am I supposed to do here? I'm short of demanding that every woman show proof of age and marital status. Don't make me....!!

Tune in on Saturday. I'll be co-hosting with Ezenwanyi (and Funmie, maybe).

P.S. My apologies for not having replied the comments in the previous post. My spirit has been willing, but my body has been very, very weak.

Talk To Me

I have never been female, 30, accomplished... and single ... all at once. I feel a deep obligation to stress at this point that I am currently female, have always been female, and will always be female. That said, there is an epidemic out there. Women of all backgrounds, races, nationalities, and tribes are suffering the case of Manlessomnia. As one who has suffered this illness before, I can say it is so not funny!

Looking in from the outside, it is easy to say that women who are accomplished are the problem, but one never really knows. Each situation, I believe, is as unique as the woman in it. I do not know for sure what the problem is, but I'll sure love to find out!

My Mom, God bless her heart, has a thesis - which I should say I completely disagree with! A married female medical doctor (in her middle/late 30s) asked Mom if she knows any single, Nigerian men. Apparently, the doc's friends (who are also all in their 30s) are all very accomplished and also very, very single. We're talking Manlessomnia X3. Okay, I digress...

Mom came home all worried and heavy-laden. When I asked her what the problem was, she said, "Young Nigerian women are wasting away. No husbands to marry them," I should mention she looked a little too sad for these women's predicaments, considering that she does not even know them [she only knows their doctor friend]. Anyway, mom's well-thought-out thesis? Young Nigerian women are single because ALL the young Nigerian men are now gay.

I don't know about you, but this is a hard pill for me to swallow. I know there are gay Nigerian men out there (contrary to what we would like to believe), but I doubt if their gayness is correlated to these women's Manlessomnia. But what do I know? I'm just a girl who sits in front of her laptop and makes up words like Manlessomnia.

There is a reason I bring this up right now. I have scheduled this as a show on Verastically Speakin Talk Radio. If all goes well, we'll be discussing this on Saturday, August 22nd 2009 (10:00 AM U.S. EST/3:00 PM Nigerian time). BUT! Here comes the aha moment. I need co-hosts for this. The show will run only if I get co-hosts. Yes, co-hostS. As in more than one. Three, to be specific.

Here's what I need:

2 female co-hosts (You have to meet the criteria, please: female, accomplished, @ least 30, and single)

1 male co-host (You also have a criteria to meet: If you have mingled with a woman of the above description, you're good enough for me. It doesn't matter if you dated successfully or not. Whatever the story is, bring it on!)

So if you're interested, please e-mail me: radio@verastic.com I'll take the co-hosts on a first-come, first-serve basis (that's if anyone comes, of course. LOL).

P.S. Your nationality/race/tribe does not matter at all. This is not a Nigerian problem; it's a female problem. And I need serious, open-minded, and talkative people. It's a talk show, so we need to talk.

Thank you, darlings!

*Manlessomnia:
an acute
a chronic case of manlessness that causes many, many, many sleepless nights.

I Promised...So I'm Delivering.

Boy, it feels like I have been off Blogville for a while. I guess I have. I’m so sad to find out that so many of my blogger mates have stopped blogging. I guess we all just ran out of things to say after a while. I’m hoping they find their spark and come back. Meanwhile, there are sooooo many new bloggers. Whew! I have no clue where to even start. Anyway, I’ll dig them out small small. But uhm, all of una welcome ooo.

So much has been going on. Mr. T and I are finally over. This isn’t actually something that recently happened. It happened since August of last year. It was "good" while it lasted. Even better when it ended. Probably be best when I find a permanent replacement. LOL. Even I, laugh at myself sometimes. At first, it was kinda weird. I was not sure how to feel about the breakup, but now, I am relieved. Sometimes you think something is a disappointment, but then so many good things happen as a result of said disappointment. This breakup was the bomb diggity! I don’t deserve it, but God has been really, really good to me. He has really favored me. I’m a little too excited about this breakup. Is this normal?? I almost feel like throwing myself a “parry.” It is not being single that I am celebrating; it is being emancipated from that. But anyway…

Speaking of my manlessness sef, I recently discovered Banke Mashide-Lawal, and my oh my…is she good or what! The lady makes me wanna get married in Nigeria. In fact, I have booked a hall for my wedding in Nigeria. I have picked my bridesmaids’ dresses, and I have decided what kind of shoes they will all wear. I have picked aso ebi material for all my groups; I have booked the live band, the decorators, and the DJ. Now, all I need to find is the husband cause you know how easy it is…with me having all these men knocking my door down and begging for my hand in marriage…lol, yeah right!

I laugh at my koloness.…but in my defense, I think it runs in the family. Just the other day, I was making fun of my father and his baldness. Over the years, he has gradually been getting bald. The frontal part of his head is so bald that it is as smooth as his face. He even rubs lotion on his head. And when he is under the sun, it will be in your best interest to not look directly at his shining head. Trust me, it is like looking into a mirror that is directed at the sun. Anyway, when I made fun of his hair or lack of it rather, he said that doctors like him do not need hair anyway because in the middle of a surgery, a strand of hair can fall off their head and fall into the open patient. That is the silliest excuse for being bald I have ever heard. What then becomes of the female doctors? Do they all shave their heads to avoid this alleged contamination?

Other news…

You see that camera by the right? Yes, I’m talking about the Nikon D40X. Well, it is no longer in my list of ‘things I want;’ it is now in my list of ‘things I have.’ Lol. I received the camera as a birthday gift in January. What can I say? I wonder if I will receive the Range Rover as a birthday gift next year. *Hint, Hint*

Gas: Gas prices have been rising at a ridiculous rate! Two weeks ago, I bought gas for $3.05 per gallon; last week I bought it for $3.09; today, it was $3.15. And I’m talking about the regular gas o! I don’t even bother looking at the prices of the plus and/or premium gas. I tell you, if gas keeps increasing like this, I might just buy myself a bicycle. Shoot, I don’t even mind transporting myself on a scooter right now.

Young Love: Yesterday, I went for a friend’s get together. I could not resist taking a picture of these love birds. These days, people find their soul mates a lot sooner, huh? My question is…could this be love…??? LOL (The chic even has her nails done...lol)

Happy Easter...!!!