It turns out that apart from tax breaks, procreation, and guilt-free sex, there are actually other reasons to get married. Surprised? Me, too! So, I was reading my bible the other day, and I came across an interesting verse in the book of Deuteronomy (Chapter 24 verse 5): "If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year, he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married."
Wait. I feel the urgent need to stress the important part of this verse: "...For one year, he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married."
GBAM!
One whole year of happiness ... being brought ... to me! I hope my future husband, wherever he may be, is reading this right now. When we get married, he will stay home with me for one whole year --- and do nothing but bring me happiness. Happiness upon happiness. A happy woman, as they say, makes a happy home. When you think about it, he's really doing it for his own good because he, too, will enjoy the happy home.
For one year, my husband will stay home with me, and every morning I wake up, I may decide to redefine happiness. Whatever the new definition is, he is obligated to indulge me. Happiness might come in the form of a Range Rover Sport. It might come in the form of Jimmy Choo shoes. It might come in the form of a trip to the Caribbeans. Or maybe a Michael Kors bag. Or a brand new house in Lekki (I hear that's a good area in Lagos). Shoot, I might even want a private jet! I wonder if I should get married on a leap year. That way, I'll have one extra day of pure, unadulterated, uninterrupted happiness!
Now, is anyone else wondering what the bible meant by happiness?
38 comments:
Vera ooo...u don cme again...lol.
I think happiness in every sense of the word dats wat d bible was referring to.
lol...guys in naija mustnt read that passage o...anoda reason for dem to be home 24/7 doing nada.
Happiness is in the eyes of the beholder. If only we still dey live for bible times. Nowadays, some people even go to work on the day of their wedding or the next.
Those were Bible days Vera, unfortunately we live in "modern times" and some of those Bible (read Old Testament Jewish practices) policies don't apply anymore. Sorry!
Make I comment...
Happiness cannot come in Jimmy Choo Choes, neither in Range Rover or a trip to the Carribean in such cases.. cos he's meant to stay 'Home' for one year. All the happiness you can get will be within the confines of the 'home' - your house. hahahah (I don spoil your day abi?) LOL
- LDP
http://dynamiqueprofesseur.blogspot.com
You sure can turn something serious hilarious!somehow you do.
Nice one and a great post!
Lol@ the one year! Would that be so, would have made things better.
my cousin got married and got divorced right after 3months.
hahahaa!! u too dey like enjoyment!
but I'm lovin d verse thow, I'm writing it down sef, for future reference ;)
lol...crazy chic!!
HAHAHA
vera u have come again
i wonder how u come up with dis things
one year of happiness
if wishes were horses beggars would ride
yeah ryt!
In your dreams oo baby...una wan start hunger strike be that oo...thiz is the new testament..lol
As much as I respect and appreciate you Vera........I dey fear for your future hubby oh! Private jet ke? LOL!!!!
Chei, you only want one year of happiness?!
FOr me o, my husband must bring me at least 20yrs of happiness and he can work while doing it. I need more than 1 yr o!
When hunger's finished with both of you, na the same you go drive the man commot house.
Welll unless if it's a one year paid vacation, uh-uh nowww u're talking! Anything you want me to do, baby, i'm all yours! Uhmmmm,mind's going places!
I can see Vera is getting really mushy mushy these days...Hope it's not that time of the month (lol).
Anyway, I think that 0ne year quoted in the Bible is our shortened equivalent of the honeymoon. It's because money is hard to come by that makes newly wedded couple quickly dash off to work after their wedding.
Yeah right!!!
getting mushy mushy these days
Should I say in your dreams or hope your wish comes true.
Thank God I've found a like mind for wanting hubby to stay home to bring me 'happiness'. But wait o! How will we feed if the man is at home doing nothing but feeding me intangible happiness?
Very funny but these are not bible times sha. Maybe what the prophet meant was that you should make your wife happy for at least one year befor thinking of divorce. But who wants one year of happiness as oppossed to 20,30,40....
And after that one year???
Na serious cold go catch you!!!!
Me I want him forever biko...
Who will pay the bills and keep me happy????
Happiness in the Bible...
I haven't gotten to that section...still reading about wars and hunger!!!
Happiness....might be sex oh...I mean its just me thinking out aloud hheheheheheh
LDKMDF!!! Vera no go kill pesin, Jimmy Choos ko, viagra ni!
one whole year at home, na hunger go kill u for that house ehn!
meanwhile, tomorow na my birthday, as u no dey come my page, u no go remember, if u forget, i shall haunt u down and ...... you!!!
lol...stay @ home with u 4 one year? trust me after 2 months, u'd tell him urself to go out!
girl, u r craayzee! range rover ehn, while he stays @ home all year. where d money go come from?
Miss Enigma: Ehn... in that case, you and I are saying the same thing na! Happiness in every sense of the word, including, but not limited to Range Rover Sports, Jimmy Choo shoes, etc. LOL.
Kabiosi: Naaaaa. Naija men are not known to be lazy. They're not known to wanna stay home doing nada. Usually, they wanna work and make money to impress the ladies. Or maybe I've been dealing with too many Igbo men. LOL.
Myne: Buhahaha. Work on the wedding ke? That one is another level of dedication to work oh! I guess there's no need asking if there's a honeymoon. Not to worry, my husband and I will not have that problem. I intend to keep him very busy ... keeping me happy. Tehehe.
Favored Girl: I rebuke you! How dare you say that? Bia, this babe... you better hope that my future husband did not read this your comment oh. LOL. You wan him to start thinking like you abi?
Le Dynamique Professeur: First of all, I don't appreciate this your French name ooo. It made me go back and forth tryna make sure I spelt it right. Secondly, you didn't spoil my day ooo. You just gave me an idea. Since we now live in modern times, we can always "order in" LOL. Thankfully, everything can be done on the internet. What's VISA's slogan again? Oh, yeah "It's everywhere you want to be..." Tehehe.
So Sexy: Is your cousin male or female? If he's male, then I guess he "escaped" his obligation. If he's female, that means she was "denied!" LOL. Maybe the reason for the divorce is that the husband in this marriage was not staying home and providing happiness for the wife. Thanks for reading, love :-)
~B~: My dear, who no like enjoyment? LOL at you writing the verse down. My dear, write it down very well oh! I shall continue to edify you all on the bible. We are entitled to so much! Enough of being cheated, darn it! LOL.
Leggy: Nne, can I be blamed? This thing is very important ooo. You should be happy sef that I brought it to your attention. This way, you'll never be cheated.
BBB: See oh. Am I the one that came up with it? Na jeje I siddon. I was reading the bible, trying to learn how to live a godly life, and there it was in my face.
Sassy Trends: So what are you saying sef? That the old testament doesn't count anymore? Lai lai. I will claim everything that is mine from Genesis to Revelations.
Caramel: Hapucha ifa! You and I, we're one and the same. The only difference is that you crase pass me. You sef, you know it, I'm sure. LOL. If you know what is good for you, you better follow in my footsteps oh, so that it may be well with you. LOL.
Loved One: Sweetheart, don't misunderstand me ooo! I want more than 20 years of happiness. The only difference between the first year and the rest of the years is that he will be home throughout the first year, and no other responsibilities will be put on him. Life is good.
T.Notes: My friend, remove your mind from wherever it's going. LOL. Hunger will not deal with us. Since it was the Lord's own instruction that my husband stay home with me, God Himself will provide manna for us. You'll see! And manna, of course, may in turn come in the form of a paid vacation. Tehehe.
Kenn-Knotty: Hahahaha. No, it's not that time of the month. This one you're bringing it up, abi do you want me to update you when it's that time of the month? I'll gladly do so, you know.
The Girl With The Red Hair: You should definitely hope my wish comes true. That's the best thing you can do for me right now (since you obviously cannot marry me).
Daylight: Ever since I read your blog the first time, I could tell that you and I, we have something in common. Now, per your question, God Himself will provide. Yes, ke. Sebi He's the one that said the man should stay home and feed us intangible (in fact, tangible sef) happiness? Ehen, so God will provide.
Evee: Hey, God forbid. LOL. I'm too sure that the bible did not mean one year of happiness before thinking about divorce. The bible very much opposes divorce, especially so early in the marriage. Now, on a serious note, the one year of happiness does not mean that the wife is entitled to one year of happiness ONLY. It only means that during the first year of marriage, the man should stay home (sort of like a honeymoon) and bond with his wife without any other distractions or responsibilities.
Afrobabe: LOL. Ooooh. Una too dey misunderstand bible quotation. He'll still be there after the one year na! And during the one year sef, God will provide manna from heaven. U have nothing to worry about --- not even the cold that is sure to freeze you in the second year. LOL.
Afrobabe: You're a mumu for that wars and hunger comment you left about the bible. LOL. Maybe you're even in the preface sef. LOL!
Mamuje: I'm very, very surprised that Afrobabe didn't mention sex. Maybe she really is reading the bible. Hmmph! That said, I, too, thought it might be sex. I don't know...
Omotee: Dear Omotee, please come back and fill in those dot, dot, dots. You're threatening me on my own page, kwa? You go wound o! LOL. Hunger no go kill us, don't worry. We will survive! And I will say happy birthday to you tomorrow. Watch and see.
Vera, me I sorry for both you and the husband
If he stays at home for one year doing NOTHING except bringing you happiness, where the guy go get money buy the Range rover, jimmy choo et al.
Nna, I wish you the best!
Funny, crazy gal.............
Chei! i haf die finish! lmao! One year kwa? One year of Happiness... You sef go taya for the kain "happiness" lol
I reckon a wedding proposal is coming to you soon oh...I hear wedding bells, lol. Are you ready?
during this one year of happiness
what do we do for money????
Steady "ihe" and getting the bills paid is a very good one to get married imo.
Ps: the humor flew right over some folks head.
Anoda Phase: Nope ... not if he's regularly supplying me with Jimmy Choo shoes, Michael Kors bags, and the likes. Two months is too short a time to tell him to go. Mba nu! A correct Igbo babe like me? Lai lai.
Funkola: Oh ye of little faith! Have ye no faith? Without faith, it is impossible to please God oh. That said, the money will come from heaven, of course, where else? It doesn't how it comes, as long as I'm happy. See?
Olufunke: Like I have been telling everyone else, God will provide. LOL. I mean, sebi it's God Himself that made this law? Ehen, so while we're following it, God will organize for us na.
Aeedeeaee: Lai lai. No be be oh. Imakwa onye'm bu? Me, get tired? For where? He must provide me with my one year of happiness, and I, in turn, must enjoy it.
Jaycee: Am I ready ke? I was born ready! Forgerrabourrit oh. You should see my list of "Things my husband has to do..." Tehehe. I'm one heck of a ready wife.
Ibiluv: The Israelites wandered the desert for forty years (although that wasn't necessarily a good thing), but the point is that God provided manna for them the entire time.
Nice Anon: LOL @ the humor flying right over some people's head. Hahaha. Perhaps, I did not do a good enough job at delivering it. Or maybe the economy has got everyone so uptight, no?
Vera, am taking up ur offer of telling. That will be a mouth watering expectation...Kenn will duly appreciate (abi wetin make I talk na?)
dis babe u no go kill persin wit lafta
ah, wetin you plan for d young man wey wan join himself with you as husband, eh?
d guy beta be prepared o cos one full yr of staying at home to 'give happiness' no be small thing especially as dis one wey u don already plan am finish..lol
Wetin you want no dey market at all oh!Na waoh..See me laughing like a fool at work!
hmmmm.....
Happiness is a very relative feeling. to some it comes in form of gifts,some humour,some family, some darn good bed sessions, some romance,some going to church and reading the bible e.t.c
interesting post * grabbing the bible and flipping *
Incase He wants to bring happiness via Cupids' gift.
We are available o
heheheh......when u find such man...pls let me know....
hahahahahan@ afro. abi na only war & hunger u dey read 4 bible. oya, go wash ur eyes for bar beach & come back so u fit see well well
Kenn_Knotty: Mouth-watering expectation ehn? Okay oh! Kenn, you have dared the lioness. And the lioness shall perform. Okay, a little dramatic maybe. LOL. But prepare yourself for that special, mouth-watering post. And it better be mouth-watering when I'm done.
His Treasure: It's because of the love I have for him that I have planned it oh! It's because I intend to love my husband kpata kpata, that is why I have gone ahead and made such promising plans for us both.
2Cute4U: Na you know ooo! The thing I want must present itself in the market, one way or another because I must buy it, and I must have it. Yes, ke!
.Issey, Uche: I want all of the above --- plus more. And he has to start by proving them in the first year (while he's some with me at all times).
Dami B: Will do! As you have requested, so shall it be. You'll be very surprised o!
FFF: My sister, thank you very much oh jare. Don't mind Afrobabe. She's a man woman. I'm tired of telling her that already. LOL @ bar beach.
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