Confessions Of A Perfume Addict

I'm not sure when my obsession with and addiction to perfumes started, but I just know that the list of perfumes I want keep getting longer. I actually haven't bought one in a while (with the exception of the last one I bought *cough*), so I'm doing pretty good, but that doesn't mean that my list of wanted perfumes isn't growing. The title of my life of wanted perfumes reads: Wanted: Full or Half!  Here's a picture of what I have right now.

These are a few of my favorite things

In no particular order, their names are:

1.  Mediterrenean by Elizabeth Arden

2.  Channel No. 5 by Channel

3.  J'adore by Christian Dior (one of my favorites)

4.  Euphoria by Calvin Klein

5.  Tresor by Lancome (used to be my most wanted ... until I got it)

6.  Hypnose by Lancome

7.  Realities by Liz Claiborne

8,  Heiress by Paris Hilton (one of my favorites; don't have it anymore)

9.  In Control by Britney Spears

10.  Midnight Fantasy by Britney Spears

11.  Very Irresistible by Givenchy (one of my favorites)

12.  Amirage by Givenchy 

13.  True Star by Tommy Hilfiger (stolen by mom)

14.  Butterflies (stolen by aunt)

15.  Be Fabulous (stolen by aunt)

16.  Armani Code For Women by Armani

17.  With Love by Hillary Duff

18.  Delicious by DKNY

19.  Red Delicious by DKNY

20.  Bright Crystals by Versace (one of my favorites)

21.  Provocative Woman by Elizabeth Arden (bought this because of the ad. Not bad)

22.  Curve Kicks by Liz Claiborne

23.  Glow by Jennifer Lopez (one of those perfumes I won't be replacing)

24.  Touch of Pink by Lacoste

25.  Usher She by Usher

26.  Allure by Channel

27.  Celine Dion by Celine Dion (haven't used this in months)

28.  Nautica Woman by Nautica (emptied by mom)

29.  Tommy Girl by Tommy Hilfiger (love this! Permanently stationed in the glove compartment of the car for my in-case-I-forget-to-use-perfume-before-leaving-the-house days).

30.  Shania Starlight by Shania Twain (don't remember who took this)

31.  No. 2 De Makari by Makari (a gift from a Verastic fan. It's all gone)

32.  Burberry Brit by Burberry

33.  Can Can by Paris Hilton (gave it away)

34.  Goddess by Baby Phat

35.  Covet by Sarah Jessica Parker (lost the spray thingy. Haven't been able to use this in months).

36.  Daisy by Marc Jacobs

37.  Insolence by Guerlain (Love this!!! Birthday gift from Funmie last year).

38.  Sex in the City (my last purchase ... currently residing on my aunt's dresser. Oh, well).

Out of the 38 listed above, I only have 29 left. Darn. That's sad. These people are milking me. Although I cannot find my list of wanted perfumes, the top four - in order of preference - are clear:

1.  Pour Femme by Bvlgari (My all time gotta-have-it)

2.  Romance by Ralph Lauren (Have loved this since Nigeria)

3.  Miracle Forever by Lancome (Started loving this after purchasing Tresor [number 5 on the list])

4.  Pleasures by Estee Lauder (My second love from Nigerian)

I confess I have this problem, and admission, they say, is the first step to healing. However, I do not wish to be healed or cured of this addiction. I love perfumes. A big smile creeps up on my face when someone says, "You smell good." I don't use the perfumes for validation from people, of course, but smelling good is a favorite past time of mine.


So, what are you smelling like today?

Enigma

You’re supposed to change your toothbrush every three months, right? I think so. Anyway, I change mine like every six to eight weeks. Why? I brush too hard and too often – apparently. In the morning, I brush at least twice, but most times three times, and I brush at night too. So in a day, I brush about four to six times. And then, of course, I floss and use Listerine mouth wash at least once a day. Weird?

See these two tooth brushes? The one by the left belongs to my mom, and the one by the right belongs to me. The thing is, my mom started using her tooth brush about two weeks before I started using mine. So why does mine look like I’ve been using it since we entered the new millennium? It probably has something to do with me being unable to withstand the temptation of chewing the bristles of my toothbrush. Why do I chew the bristles? This is just one of the many enigmas in my Verastic life.



Look at the bottom of the toothbrushes sef. On my mom’s toothbrush, you can see ‘Colgate’ written at the bottom. Mine is completely wiped off. When I brushed my teeth two days ago and found stray bristles on my tongue (that I almost swallowed, by the way), I realized three things: (1). I need to change my toothbrush. (2). I need to stop chewing the bristles of my toothbrush. (3). I might need psychotherapy. Could the chewing of my toothbrush be related to some deep childhood trauma? What could it be?? I think it happened when I was a little girl, about 6 or 7 and was forced to use McClean toothpaste instead of Close-Up. I hated McClean! I loved the red, seemingly transparent toothpaste. Oh, mommy…what have you done to me? I know what you’re thinking: what does Close-Up toothpaste have to do with chewing your bristles? Yeah, whatever!

Speaking of my toothbrush, for the past two weeks I have been suffering from a mysterious illness that apparently has no cure. It’s called the HARD & ITCHING NIPPLES SYNDROME. I am not quite sure why they have been mysteriously getting hard and itching. I have scratched and scratched and scratched, yet relief has been far and in between. The itch has been like a mosquito bite: ridiculously itching, sweet to scratch, but tantamount to causing tear and a permanent scar. My nipples, of course, are the last places I wanna have cuts and/or scars.

Last week, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I did the only thing I could think of doing: I went into the bathroom and put my toothbrush to good use. Yeap, I scratched the heck out of those nipples. They don’t itch anymore, but they still get unnecessarily hard (when is it ever necessary?). This, of course, is also an enigma.

Anyway, you might not have noticed, but I just included my address. I figured you all have been dying to send me hand-written letters. LOL. Please, feel very free to include some gifts – you know the usual…perfumes and Range Rovers. Yes, Rovers as in plural. LOL. But if you insist on sending perfumes, *rolling eyes* I’ll appreciate one or all of the following:

1. Miracle Forever by Lancome.
2. Romance by Ralph Lauren
3. Rock n Rose by Valentino
4. Diamonds by Emporio Armani
5. Princess by Vera Wang
6. Vera Wang by Vera Wang
7. Daisy by Marc Jacobs
8. Gucci by Gucci

Wait oh, am I seriously, publicly begging for perfumes on my blog? I have sunk to a new low. Hehehehehe. Needless to say, my love for perfumes is an enigma that I do not wish to figure out. I’m pretty content with just acquiring them.

Oh, I guess I should put that address up now. It can also be found on my profile.

P. O. BOX 7893
Essex, MD 21221

The Search For A Push-Up Bra

This is my second time blogging about bras. What is it with me and bras sef? The first time I blogged about bras, I was blogging about strapless bras - the day that my mother confidently asked for a sleeveless bra. What on earth is a sleeveless bra?!

Tomorrow (Friday, April 18th) is Uju's birthday. Her boyfriend suggested that we all take her out. I'm fine with this idea, of course. My only problem is that she has not given me my birthday gift yet, and I am seriously considering suing her to court. My birthday was 3 months ago, and she has been turning me up and down. You might think that she is not obligated to give me a birthday gift, but I believe otherwise. I'm pretty sure she does not want me to forcefully take it. If I do not receive my birthday gift in the nearest future, she will be sorry. She kuku knows what I am capable of.

Anyway, I went to Macy's today in search of a push-up bra. I patrolled the entire lingerie section fruitlessly. I figured I must have been looking in the wrong section, so I asked one of the staff. She pointed a different area of the lingerie section for me to check out. I looked through the place, and indeed found a lot of push-up bras, but none that came in my size. Instead, I was constantly attacked by size 32A. What the heck is that?! Is that even a size?? Seriously, should 32A cups even wear bras? Maybe that's what is stunting the growth of the breasts sef. Why on earth will someone with a 32A cup even wear a bra? You should let the breasts be free and be merry.

If you look at the picture very well, you will notice that by the left side of the bra, there is a before and after picture. The before picture is called, 'THEN' and the after picture is called 'WOW'. Well, eventually, I found a push up bra. I wore it @ Macy's, and it didn't seem bad. I came home and tried it on with the top I intend to wear on Friday, and my result was not WOW. It was more like WOW x WOW x WOW x WOW. Okay, so I guess I understand why push-up bras don't really come in my size. In other words, tooooo much breasts were flying all over the place. Alright, maybe not all over, but darn, I don't wanna mistake my own breasts for big, round yellow stress balls. I assume that the pain that stress balls go thru is way too much for my breasts to bear. I don't think any amount of anesthesia will be strong enough. I don't even wanna find out.

I took a picture of my breasts with the push-up bra and sent it to Funmi for her viewing pleasure. I am yet to get a reply. On one hand, the bad chic in me (if she is not a figment of my imagination) wants to wear the push-up bra, but on the other hand, the good girl in me (the one I know definitely exists, lol) does not want to wear it. I'm so torn and confused. I don't want a situation where I'm constantly tugging at my shirt and trying to cover up. That would be silly.

I have to confess that I do admire women who wear push-up bras. They usually look nice (not all of them, of course), but can Vera actually be woman enough to do it? I don't think so oooo. I have been known to be a chicken, and I am proud to admit that I am indeed a chicken. Wetin man [woman] go do?

Note to Uju (and all other people who owe me gifts; you know yourselves), here is a list of perfumes you should get me. You're welcome to get me more than one. And uhm, I'll prefer the gift sets ooooooo. *coughs* I went out of my way to provide the prices of the gift sets for you. You can thank me later.

1. Miracle Forever by Lancome [$55 @Macy's]

2. Romance by Ralph Lauren [$75 @ Macy's]

3. Rock n Rose by Valentino [$68 @ Macy's]

4. Pleasures by Estee Lauder [$58 @ Macy's]

5. M by Mariah Carey [$65 @ Macy's]

6. Covet by Sarah Jessica Parker [$72 @ Macy's]


p.s. These are listed in order of preference. Thank you. I'll be expecting my giftS.