Showing posts with label Chidi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chidi. Show all posts

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Introducing Exhibit A

Before I go on, let me tell you what I named Busola's baby. I named him Chidi, so henceforth, you can expect regular posts on Chidi. When a Yoruba person hears his name is Chidi, the response is usually, "Ah, omo Igbo ke???" LOL. It's been quite interesting to say the least. Busola and her hubby gave him other names which I do not care to mention because this is my blog darn it! Busola can go and open her own blog and tell every1 his Yoruba name. On Verastically Livin,' he shall be known as Chidi. Full Stop!!

On Thursday night, Busola said she needed her "stupid friends" to come and spend the night in her house the next day (Friday) and help her sort some baby clothes and all that stuff. In spite of the insult, Funmi and I gladly went. We really need to get some self respect. LOL. I got there before seven thirty PM; Funmi got there before midnight. She's always late. She was late too when God was distributing booties - hence Funmi's flat backside.

Anyway, taking care of Chidi was not easy ooo!! He woke up every hour for food and pooped every time I fed him. Busola left him for me and Funmi and went to bed, so I was the one waking up to take care of him because her royal highness, Funmi was snoozing. Twas a humbling experience. Made me wonder what life will be like when I have my confusingly identical twin boys. Well, I still want them all the same. No amount of poop cleaning will stop me from desiring them. Moving along...

Have you heard that if an adult drinks breast milk, it will make him retarded? Actually, it's not nice or right to say 'retarded.' The term is developmentally challenged. Curious about the veracity of this possible myth, I had to find out. You know how I love experimenting now! So what did I do??? Oh, it was quite simple actually. The genius in me just came up with a bright idea.

Her royal highness, Funmi was sipping on a glass of milk.....from a wine glass oo! Dunno what she was feeling like. She had to go into the bedroom to do some stuff, so she left her glass of milk on the table. Sitting on the table also was Chidi's feeding bottle. It had breast milk in it, so I thought..... hmmmmmmmmm why not pour some of this breast milk into Funmi's milk???? Hehehehehe. So of course I did! Funmi came out of the room and drank her milk. I had to hold myself from laughing. The funny thing is that she suspected I did it; just goes to show how predictable I am becoming. I need to change my strategies. Operation Make-An-Adult-Drink-Breast-Milk is complete!!

Now I'm watching Funmi for any adverse effects of drinking Busola's milk. The girl already acts developmentaly challenged, so it's hard to tell if her current actions have anything to do with the milk or if she's just being her regular self. I think I have to increase the dose. What do you think?

Oh, by the way, I tasted a drop of the milk too. My dose is nothing compared to Funmi's though. And no, I have not become developmentally challenged.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Unto Us A Child Is Born

I was gonna title this post, "He betrayed me," because that was how I felt on Monday, but I guess I'm over it now - kinda sorta. I promised I had good news for you, so here goes: Busola has had her baby. She gave birth on Monday, December 22nd 2008 at 1:09 PM. The baby weighed 5.12 lbs. Alright, I'll rewind.

I know, I know, I know. I never told anyone that she was pregnant, right? Yes, that's because she made me promise I will not run my mouth on my blog, so you see, I had to keep it a secret. Remember when I said I met some beautiful bloggers?? Well, I met them at the surprise baby shower we had for Busola [which I invited them to]. I could not blog about the shower either because that would have meant disclosing her very pregnant state. But now that she has offloaded, I am free to run my mouth. No, I cannot disclose the name of the baby yet. His naming ceremony will be held tomorrow.

So why did I feel betrayed? Well, let's see. The baby was due to be born on January 19th 2009. I and the baby talked about his supposed due date several times, and we had an agreement - or at least I thought we did. I told him to get born on January 14th - my birthday. He nodded - kicked rather, and I interpreted that to be a handshake. I thought we had agreed! When you shake hands (or kick a foot) on a deal, you do not go back on your words, darn it!!

When Busola called me at almost 2:30 in the morning on Monday to tell me her water had broken, I was devastated. All my dreams of sharing the same birthday with my new boyfriend were shattered. Shattered, I tell you! Busola was not making it easier either. I pleaded with her to shut her legs and hold the delivery off till the 14th of January (I mean, it's not that far), but she refused. The girl refused! After all I have done for her, she could not do this one little thing for me. Now I know who my real friends are - NOT!

Anywayz.... I got over my anger. Why? I witnessed the birth of my new boyfriend. Yes, yours truly witnessed him being born. It was beautiful. Busola was crying. Her husband was crying. Her mother-in-law was crying. But I didn't shed a tear. Alright, who am I kidding? I probably started crying before everyone else. I could not help it. He was so little. And so perfect. I have never seen anyone so beautiful. I should mention that Funmi missed the entire delivery. Why? She was.... *D.R.U.M.R.O.L.L* .... sleeping!!! Yes, sleeping. We called and called, but home girl did not pick up. I had to call her brother's phone. To make matters worse, she couldn't go see the baby after he was born because she was suffering from strep throat and flu. Nnyama. Yuck!

On the day of his birth, I took more than 250 pictures. And no, they're not available yet. Too many pictures to go through and sort out. Remember I have to filter my own pictures out. LOL. I will upload them later. I am so proud of Busola; she did so well. The babe is strong. And beautiful. She's beautiful inside and outside, and I am so, so, so blessed to have her in my life. I'm wondering if I should erase the preceding words because she will call me and say, "Vera, I know you want me." Really, I don't. *hiss*

Soooo after watching Busola give birth, I have learnt a few lessons for my future children. They are outlined below. Maybe you could adopt some of them too.

1. Epidural helps a whole lot! But I will not wait till I am in labor to take my epidural. If my period ventures to be late, that is it ooo! Epidural all the way. Sure, I might be completely paralyzed by the time of delivery, but hey, at least I won't be in pain.

2. Prenatal pills make women glow. I'm not even gonna wait till I get pregnant. From tomorrow, I will start downing prenatal pills. I wanna start now to have that pregnancy glow, so that when I become pregnant, I will glow even more. Of course, it will grow my hair too. Speaking of hair, I hope it's only the one on my head ooo!

3. When you're pregnant, people are nice to you. As soon as I get pregnant, I will begin to crave anything and everything - including but not limited to perfumes, shoes, range rovers, Nokias, Black Berries, money, jewelry....etc. You know now...the regular stuff that pregnant women crave.

4. Since child birth is so painful, I will give birth in rapid succession. While I'm pregnant with child #1, I will have plenty of unprotected sex with hubby, so that he can get me pregnant...while I'm already pregnant. That way, as soon as I give birth to child #1, I will come back to the hospital in about 4 months time to give birth to child #2, and then in another 3 months to give birth to child #3. Before you know it, I would have popped out all my five children (including my set of confusingly identical twin boys).

5. When you're in labor, people will do anything and everything to make you feel better. I will shut my legs and demand a ransom for the release of the baby. Sure, you may call it fetusnapping, but do I care?? Nope! The ransom will not be anything that is too difficult to get. All I would demand is that Obama come into my bedroom, hold my hand, kiss my forehead, rub my tummy and tell me that I'm doing good. That is all I will demand. Now is that too much??? Do I hear a resounding, "No!!!"

Shikena. I'm a very simple babe. It's really not difficult to please me. Like I said, I apologize for not having pictures of the baby's birth, but for now, please enjoy the pictures of the baby shower. And no, there are no bloggers in the pictures. They can show you their pictures themselves. Click HERE to view the pictures. So please join us in thanking God oh for this favor. We are truly blessed. My dear sister, Busola is favored in eyes of God.

This is my last post for 2008. See you in 2009 - January 1st 2009. 12:01 AM baby!!! I no go disappoint una na...

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin