Another One Bites The Dust ... Again???

With the rate of divorces going around, especially ones due to some form of infidelity, I need to come up with a more creative title for this post. I mean, what am I going to call the next divorce post? Another One Bites The Dust ... Again The Third Time??? Yeah, I'm just as puzzled as you are.

So cute. And yet so .... divorced.

Caption: And this, honey, is how I kiss my other woman.

Here's the 411: Tony Parker is a 28 year old athlete and Eva Longoria is a 35 year old actress.  They got married in July of 2007.  Prior to that, Eva was married to Tyler Christopher from 2002 to 2004. Eva filed for divorce from Tony on November 17th 2010. Tony, on the other hand, also filed from divorce from Eva on November 19th 2010. Eva filed for her divorce in California - due to irreconcilable differences (of course). And Tony filed for his divorce in Texas. The significance? Texas's divorce is quite short. It may be over in as little as 60 days. Eva is also seeking spousal support from her husband.


Oh, so why are they getting divorced? Eva says she found text messages on Tony's phone, about 100 text messages that were exchanged in the past month between him and Erin Barry. Who the heck is Erin Barry? Well, she is the wife of Brent Barry. And who is Brent Barry, you ask? He is Tony's teammate. Well, hot damn!


But that's not all. Brent and Erin Barry are also in the middle of divorce! Think Tony Parker has anything to do with it? Do I hear someone saying, "Err, duh!" Erin filed for divorce from her husband on October 29th. And here's the humorous part: her husband's lawyer is Richard Orsinger, the same lawyer who is representing Tony Parker. Something tells me that Richard Orsinger might soon be getting divorced from the two teammates.


Uhm, drama much??? At this point, I only have one question: what will Tony and Eva - especially Eva - do with the permanent tattoos they have? Eva has the word NINE tattooed on the back of her neck (Tony's jersey number). And they both have tattoos of their wedding date in Roman Numerals tattooed on their wrists. Oh, and Eva has the letters T.P. (stands for Tony Parker) tattooed somewhere on her body where no one else (apart from her and Tony) can see it.

Eva's NINE tattoo

Oh, how the mighily-tattoed have fallen!

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Toni Braxton The Maxton

I know Toni Braxton sang the Unbreak My Heart song, but right now, she needs to unbreak the American economy. $50, 000, 000 in debt?!?!?!?!?! That's 7, 612, 500, 000. 00 in naira! If you're having half a hard time like I was deciphering the figure, that's over seven (7) billion naira ... in debt! So this is where the American so-called debt went to, huh?

Toni Braxton is worth about $10 million. And she's up to $50 million in debt to 422 creditors (that's right, 422!).  What has fine Ms. Thang been buying? Oh, you know, the usual. A mansion for $2, 000, 000. A Range Rover for $80, 000 (this one I can totally dig!).  A Cartier Tank American watch for $33, 000 (Get the hell out of here! What time is it telling? Jesus's second coming?). Christian Louboutin boots for almost $2, 000. And much more.

Oh, but no worries. She has fixed it. She has filed for Chapter 7 Bankruptcy protection (her second one, by the way. She had one in 1998). Her attorney says that Toni's heart disease has rendered her incapable of working and paying off her debts, so filing for bankruptcy is the best way to erase debt. Smart. Blame it on the heart disease.

I love you, Toni Braxton, but this is some jacked up mess. You and your lawyer know that debt does not get erased - especially in America. Other people just end up paying for it. Broke as I am right now, I am hurt that someone else gets to be $50, 000, 000 in the hole --- with no tangible consequences.

On another note, did you know that she has also separated from her husband, music producer, Keri Lewis? You did? Well, good for you. I did not know.  I may be pissed at her debt, but Toni Braxton is a babe. A very fine babe at that.

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Another One Bites The Dust

This time, it's Courteney Cox and David Arquette.

Separation and divorces are common in Hollywood. But for some reason, I have high hopes for Courteney and David. For one thing, they don't sound like they want to be separated. And they say they're not thinking about divorce just yet, but they need some time apart. Hopefully, this time apart would remind them of why they got married in the first place.

The inscription on both of their wedding bands says, "A DEAL'S A DEAL" so perhaps, they're looking at their marriage that way. Why this affects me, I don't know. It's not like their marriage, separation, or divorce will put a dime in my pocket. But I do hope they stay together.

Of course, there's an alleged case of David's infidelity in the picture. Sources say that the woman (L. A. cocktail waitress, Jasmine Waltz)  only came into his life after the separation from his wife (not before). Yeah, that makes all the difference.

Stay married, folks. Let someone else separate. I have not said that Brad and Angelina should separate, but if that's what you say, then who am I to object?

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Angelina, Stay Away From My Man!

That's apparently the sentiment of a lot of celebrity women when it comes to Angelina Jolie.  But who can blame them?

Remember Billy Bob Thornton?  He was engaged - happily or unhappily - to actress, Laura Dern until he came across Angelina Jolie.  Next thing we knew, they were both wearing vials of each other's blood around their necks.  Oh, and they were also married from 2000 to 2003.

Who can forget the case of Brad Pitt?  Am I the only one who is disappointed that their relationship has not met its demise?  I mean, it shouldn't be this way.  Nollywood movies have told us that this is impossible!  When you steal a woman's husband, karma will bite you in the nether region.  Oh, karma, where are you when I need you the most?  But anyway, once upon a time, the all-American sweetheart, Jennifer Aniston, was married to Brad Pitt.  I thought they were so perfect for each other.  In their marriage vows, she promised to make him his favorite banana milkshake for the rest of his life.  And he was enjoying those milkshakes, too --- until he filmed Mr. and Mrs. Smith.  Yes, yes.  The one with Angelina Jolie.

And now, history is trying to repeat itself, it seems.  Johny Depp - who, by the way, has a very nerdy sexiness about him - is filming a thriller with Angelina Jolie.  A movie that allegedly has a steamy sex scene (what else is new?) between Depp and Jolie.  This time, however, there is a woman who owns a man, and is not afraid to show it!  That woman is Johnny Depp's long time girlfriend and mother of his two children, Vanessa Pardis.  Apparently, she wants Johnny Boy to have nothing to do with that movie.  Or with Angelina.  Who can blame her?  After giving twelve years of her life to Johnny Depp, the woman is not ready to lose it all to one  Angelina - no matter how sexy her lips are!

If I had a man that Angelina Jolie were after, I, too, would tell her to stay the heck away from my man!  Who am I kidding?  My words would be more like, "Angelina, how do you do it ... and may I get an autograph, please?"