Just A Day

Well, 2day was just a day 4 me; nothing spectacular...nothing out of the ordinary... just a plain-jane kind of day. The only difference is that it's a tuesday kinda plane-jane kinda day. Anyways...

Toha came ova 2 see me 2day. We had some fun, and I made sure I stuffed her up real good with food; by the time she was ready 2 leave, she felt very full. I even fried her some of my special fish...yes, I do fry a mean fish...i think.

I took another nature walk 2day, but I have nothing interesting 2 say about it because I did not have the time 2 stop and look @ people and things while I was walking...cause I was on the phone to and fro. I'll make sure I don't do that next time. Going on a nature walk should not involve me being on the phone... cell phones are not natural. They are man-made electronic leashes made 2 tie us down without our knowledge and make us feel on top when we are really behind.... shey you get sha?

Well, 2morrow I'm gonna go 2 the mall 2 buy myself an evening gown for a wedding I have 2 attend on Saturday in Silver Spring. Of course, I coulda worn a traditional outfit, but I didn't take my material 2 the tailor, so I'm gonna have 2 wear something else. Of course, I could wear one of the traditional outfits I already have, but there is no fun in that. I would rather wear something new.

Well, I guess that's all 4 now. I'm sleepy. Geez, sleeping seems 2 be all I do these days... don't u think so? Oh well.

Nite now.

Old Habits Die Hard

Today, I was taking a shower and I realized that I have been taking a shower the same way for God-knows-how-long. On a day that I take a quick shower, it takes me about 30 minutes. The actual shower is only about 10 minutes though. I went 2 boarding skool in Naija, so every morning we washed our underwear b4 taking a shower, and guess what? I still do it! Another thing I do is that I tie my sponge around my waist, so that while I'm standing under the shower, the water rinsing my body would rinse the soap off the sponge too. When we did it in boarding skool, we did it 2 save water, but now, I just do it out of habit.

Here's my daily shower routine:

• Wash underwear by the sink
• Hang it on the bathroom door (I always leave d door open when I'm takin a shower)
• Brush my teeth
• Brush my teeth again
• Rinse my mouth with Listerine mouth wash
• Put on my shower cap
• Wash my face with an Olay cleansing cloth
• Enter the bath-tub
• Turn on the hot water and then the cold water
• Make sure the temperature is okay then turn the shower overhead shower thingy
• Fold the long sponge in half and then fold it again (to be 1/4 of the original size)
• Put the soap in the sponge and rub it till it lathers really well
• Stand under the shower and let the water wet my whole body
• Start by scrubbing my chest, then my hands, then my neck, then my upper back, then my stomach.
• Then I wash my you-kn0w-what, then my thighs, then my calves, then my feet, then my back again
• After that, I unfold the sponge and scrub my whole back, then I tie the sponge on my waist and stand under the shower and let the water rinse me and the sponge.
• Then I rub soap on the sponge again and scrub inside and outside my ears, and then I scrub my neck again
• Then I rinse the soap out
• Then I squirt some Olay scrub in my palms, rub my palms 2 lather then I cleanse my face.
• After that I stand under the shower 4eva and just let d water make love 2 me.

Now that I have given you a detailed info about how I take my shower, I'm beginnning to wonder if it was necessary sef. But anyways....

I took a nature walk today too. It was nice as usual...except that it was rather windy. My eyes kept watering and I looked like I was crying. And the wind was scattering my hair alll over the place. I don't know what I had more problem with: the wind in my eyes, or the way the wind was aggressively raping my hair. Anyway...that's all over now.

We go yarn tomorrow.

Bridal Shower...

We finally got 2 the bridal shower @ about 5pm, but it didn't start till like 7:00. Can you believe that one of the organizers sef didn't come till 8pm...even though she was the one who even said it should start @ 4pm. Which kin rubbish be that? I mean, I'm the queen of African time, but damn!.... not when I am even the organizer sef. Well, I guess I can't be too surprised. My aunt sef came 2 hours late for her own wedding.

Anyways, the bride was really surprised sha, but mehn, by the time they started, I was so sleepy. You know I was still tired from yesterday's event. No1 thought about bringin a camera 2 the shower, but thank God I brought mine, so once again, I became the photographer. Unpaid photographer o!

When the bride was on her way in2 the house, we all had 2 be quiet of course, and I positioned myself in front of the door, so I could take pictures of the surprised face of the bride. While we were all in suspense awaiting the grand jury, some lady asked "what are we gonna say when she comes in?" DUH!!!!!!!!!! It's a surprise party.... what the hell else are you supposed to say other than "surprise!". Finally, she came up with the not-so-bright idea that as soon as the bride walks in, we should say "Happy Bridal Shower...Surprise!" Yeah right! Who has time 4 all that? Every1 agreed 2 say it sha, but as soon as the bride walked in, we all said "surprise!" I guess it was just a case of reflex.

I was so tired that I didn't even eat (even though I was really hungry). I just took pictures and pictures and pictures, and bonded with some cute, adorable kids. I just kept looking @ them and imagining myself as a mother. I bet I would be one hell of a cool mom....don't u think so? Well, who cares what you think? I think ... in fact, I KNOW I will be a cool mom. I'll be a goofy mom and I'll act silly with my kids. My husband would probably just shake his head every time he sees me and the kids acting silly. But anyways... enuff of my fantasy...

Back 2 reality. We left d place at about 8:45pm. The first thing I did when I got home was to take off my heels. Why do I always put myself through torture ehn? I wore heels yesterday and I have not fully recovered from that one, and then today I put on another pair. Nawa 4 me o!

I kinda feel like typing my book, but I honestly cannot stand another day of typing on this desktop. I feel like typing it but not in my house; but how man pikin go fit do that one without a lap top? This desk top box I have is kinda 2 heavy 2 be lifted and taken 2 barnes & nobles (I love that store!).

Anyways, we go yarn tomorrow. I'm tired.

Grad Party

Lemme tell you about the grad party I attended. First of all, I wore a black, beautiful skirt (and I think I was lookin' gorgeous too!); and I actually fit in2 my fish net panty hose...contrary 2 wat I was thinkin. My skirt was kinda tight on my butt, so I had 2 wear a thong. I dunno wat felt weirder...the fish net between my thighs or the thong that felt tighter than usual (cause of the fish net).

We got 2 the party @ about 11:30pm and they still had not started (even though the invitation said 8:30pm). After about 30 mins, the MC called me and Ada and introduced us to the crowd as the hostesses of the ceremony, and then after that, he said "Gentlemen, look at these two beautiful ladies; if you're interested in them, you can come to me and get their number." What da hell?! See me see insult o! Maybe I'm overreacting, but I think he was out of his mind 4 saying that. What if I was engaged? (yes, I know I do not have a ring). Anyway sha, we started ushering people to their tables of course, and after that the real work started.

We had 2 serve food 2 the 'high table'. We kept goin inside d kitchen and out and in and out....geez! Mind you, I was on stiletto heels o! And then the common people (the rest of us that were not on the high table, lol) were busy disturbing us and making special orders on food. Where did they even think they were? I don't know what part of "we are only serving the high table" they did not get o.

As if all that walking around was not enough, we even had 2 pick money from the floor. It felt like I was doing crunches all night long. The fact that I was doing it on pencil-thin heels did not help either. After a while, I couldn't take it anymore, so I ran 2 the car 2 get a pair of flip-flops (slipass). Of course, that meant I had 2 take my fish net panty hose off too, and it was a huge relief. But nawa 4 my toe nails sha.... I'm way overdue 2 get them done. Well, it's all good. I have an appointment on tuesday.

Even though I had a camera, I did not take one single picture of myself. All the pics were of everyone else but myself...can u imagine? I took over 70 pics and none of them were of me. Ain't that sad? After all the suffering in picking up the money, we finally decided 2 go home. When I got home, it was past 4am. The first thing I did was take off that damn thong. Every time I bent down 2 pick money, it seemed as if the thong was going deeper. In fact, I was sure the thong would have opened up another hole 4 me...or at least sliced my ass open @ some point, but thank goodness my butt was intact. You better believe I checked 2 make sure. I took the thong off and replaced it with a regular underwear..... hmmm home sweet home.

It wasn't until about 1:30pm this afternoon that I woke up. I was happy that I could relax and recuperate from yesterday, then all of a sudden the house phone rang. I picked it up and it was Gladys, a family friend. She was calling 2 inform me that she would be @ my house @ 4pm, so we could go 2 the bridal shower I promised I would go 2 with her.

Aaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta go take a shower......... shiiiit.

Lil Problems

I woke up at about 10am this morning and attempted 2 clean the house completely. I say "attempted" because even though I did some cleaning, I did not clean everywhere like I planned on doing. Why? Because I spent most of the day dancing around and being on a conference call with Sola, Jennifer and Uju. Speaking of Jennifer, can you believe she's engaged?! Yes oh, and this yeye girl did not think it was important enough to tell the rest of us; how crazy is that? What's even crazier is that she has been engaged since Valentine's Day. She said she did not tell us because she has always known that she and Segun (her fiance) are gonna be married. Ain't that something?? Anyways...

I have a bit of a dilemna...if you would call it that. I have been looking at a black fish net that I intend on putting on tonight, and I am begininning to question my decision to wear it. It looks so small and tiny. I mean, what would possess a woman of my caliber 2 wear something like this? It just looks funny sha.

Dilemna #2: I cannot decide which flavor of gum i like better... the apple flavor? Or the water-melon flavor? I know you may not see it as a real dilemna, but you don't know what it feels like standing in front of the gum aisle and having your eyes wander back and forth and back and forth, and then finally you are forced to get both. I know I should not be chewing gum...cause no one looks good chewing gum, but sometimes I cannot help it. Okay, I can, but I choose not 2. I really need 2 quit cheing gum altogether. I quit b4 oh, but I don't know why I started it again. Another thing I need 2 quit doing is eating starburst fruit chews. I have eaten so much starburst fruit chews that I can practically start a factory. That's life, huh?

People always talk about detox from drugs and alcohol, and nicotine patches for those addicted 2 nicotine, but no1 talks about sugar patches for candy addicts like my humble self. They have AA (alcoholics anonymous) and NA (Narcotics Anonymous), but what happened to the CA (Candylics Anonymous)? We need attention too! The government needs 2 start and fund a program 4 people like me, so we can build a better future 4 ourselves. I must have really strong teeth cause in spite of all the candy, none of them are decayed. Thank God. I really need 2 quit this candy addiction. Gosh I'm an addict. Well, the first step 2 solving a problem is acknowledging its existence.

Hmmmmmm...I wonder if psych wards have places for people like me....not that I wanna go there o! But anyways...

...I think I have 2 end here 4 now jare.

My Day @ The Mall

2day I went shoppin wit my mom... don't ask me wat I was thinkin. A friend of hers is throwing a huge graduation party 4 her daughter who graduated (with a major in political science). I wasn't gonna go, but she (mom's friend) called and begged me 2 come...so I can help usher the guests to the high table. By the way, why is it called a 'high table' when it is not high? I mean, it's on the same level wit every1 else... but anyways....

1st stop: Bare Feet Shoes. My mother needed a pair of shoes to match her traditional outfit 4 2morrow, but she did not even bring the scarf @ least, so that she could match. So we walked around Bare Feet Shoes looking 4 a blue shoe. Of course, there were different shades of blue and she kept asking me which one matched her outfit. How was I supposed 2 know? I hadn't even seen the outfit! At the end, she did not buy a blue shoes; she bought a creme colored shoe.

2nd stop: Towson Mall. Towson mall has 4 floors, and we did not have any idea what store we wanted 2 go to. By the way, while my mother was looking for a shoe, I was looking for an outfit for tomorrow. I went thru every floor and every clothing store I could and finally found a black skirt I liked. But wat about a top to go with it? That was damn near impossible....but thank God I finally found one.

My mother and I walked thru the whole damn mall; she was looking 4 a pair (or two) of shoes, and I was looking for an outfit 4 the wedding comin up on saturday (27th may in silver spring, maryland). All through I kept on questioning my decision 2 go shoppin wit my mom. Seriously, what was I thinking?

3rd stop: DSW. While my mother wandered in DSW, I decided 2 take the time 2 look around in Wal-Mart, which was next 2 DSW. I ended up getting lotion, face cleanser, and Nair hair remover (no I do not shave my legs! I refuse 2 risk cutting myself. Besides, why shuld I shave when I can just use Nair that works pretty damn good too?). After I paid 4 my stuff, I called my mother 2 find out her whereabouts, and she said she was on her way 2 Wal Mart too.

I waited 4 her while she parambulated all thru d store and finally decided 2 come and pay 4 her stuff. She paid with her credit card, and as soon as she was done, she told the cashier that she had 2 do it again because she put in the wrong pin number. The cashier told her that it did not matter wt pin number she used since she paid with credit and not debit. But as a proper naija woman, she refised 2 listen, and even when I tried 2 xplain it 2 her, she would not listen, so all we kept doing was
me: mom, it doesn't matter what pin number u used.
mom: but I put in the wrong pin number
me: but you paid with credit
mom: but it won't go through
me: but it did already
mom: but it's the wrong pin
me: but it doesn't matter
mom: but they will charge the wrong account
me: do you wanna change d account?
mom: no, just the number
me: but it does not matter
mom: but the pin number is wrong!

Aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, I quit. I cannot get in2 this woman's head. After a few more 'buts' with the cashier, I guess she finally agreed that it did not matter. Remind me neva do attempt shoppin with my mom again. But you know what the funny thing is? I know I will still go shoppin wit her.... countless times sef.

Bye 4 Now... we'll continue later

Wednesday

I call this post 'wednesday' because i cannot think of any title 4 what i am about 2 write. In fact, as I write this, I don't know what i will write, but I know that at the end, I would have written something, so just read on and be merry.

I'm tryna find myself in life...so to say. I'm tryna discover what i like and what i don't like, and so far i have discovered a few things...

• I love my lotion; I think it's my soul mate in lotions... it's from Olay
• I love my deodorant; it's from Secret (platinum)
• I found my soul mate in cookies too. It's Chessmen from Pepperidge Farm

*sorry, but there has been a break in transmission. Gotta go pee...*

*... 4 minutes later.... back from peeing.... mm wat a relief*

• I think I have found my soul mate in candy; I love the pink starburst
• I think I have also found my soul mate in beverages; I love the strawberry-guava flavor from Fuze
• I love Dannon's La Creme Yogurt - vanilla flavor
• I want a platinum band with a big (and affordable) rock on it
• I don't like gold jewelries
• I despise men who do not feel the need 2 give gifts (birthday, valentine, anniversary, etc)
• I despise unromantic (unthoughtful) men
• I hate lazy gifts (the type of gift you give without putting any thought in2 it. Like when u give a woman jewelry because 'women like jewelry'... bullshit!)
• I want a public proposal
• I just realised i also like verona cookies from pepperidge farm
• All of a sudden, I won't write with a pen until its ink is gel, so I guess the gel ink is my soul mate in pens?
• I'm not in2 anything dat has 2 do wit chocolate. I don't do chocolate candy, chocolate milk, chocolate cookies, chocolate wafers.... nope!
• If I must have chocolate, I'd rather have white chocolate.
• Nokia is my best cell phone company
• I love Sony electronics. I don't know anything bout electronics, but I like Sony cause my dad loves it.

Alright, I think I'm tired now. I'm gonna stop here and continue later.

Oh, by the way, I'm currently reading Chasing Destiny by my favorite author, Eric Jerome Dickey

Happy Mommy's Day

Happy mother's day, mom! I just wanna wish my one and only mother a happy mother's day (even though I know she won't read this...thank God cause some of the stuff I write... but anyways...)

I don't have much 2 say really, so I'm just gonna end this post here.

But I also wanna wish all the other women out there a happy mother's day. And 2 all the expectant mothers and women prayin and wishing 4 the miracle of childbirth, I pray God grants you all your heart desires.

I also wish myself some wonderful kids.... but not now o!!!!! God, lemme just make it clear 2 u that I am not sayin I want d kids now o! I mean, I want them when I get married...shey u get? I want 5 of them, and I don't mind having a set of twins... as long as they don't damage the uh... passageway...u know wat I mean, abi?

And 2 all the men, u know I won't leave u hanging! I wish u all a happy mother's day too! Yes, I'm wishin u a mother's day cause frankly speakin, some of u are more woman than I am sef. You whine 2 damn much!!

Good nite...

My Best Friend Is Engaged!!!

Yippie!!!!!!!! I cannot even begin 2 tell you how excited I am! My best friend is engaged... oh my God! We have been day dreaming about this day 4 soooooo long, and we have always started it with something like "Well, whoever my husband will be, I want him to...", and now, we know who her husband will b! Frank is a wonderful, handsome, intelligent, articulte, hard-working, you-really-gotta-see-him man. I couldn't have picked a betta person 4 Sola. I don't need 2 tell you that the picture you see is that of my one and only, Sola, and her fiance. Oh my God!... He's her fiance. Ah, this don serious o! But u know what's even better? I'm d maid of honor! She hasn't told me yet, but shoot, it has always been know that I would be the maid of honor. I have already told Frank 2 make sure that his best man is cute cause I will not b walkin down d aisle wit any..... u get my point sha.

So here's how it happened. Frank was celebratin his graduation (degree in Architechture...in case u need an architect sha...), and next thing, home boy takes the mic and his voice becomes all shaky and his eyes are misty. Next thing, he was on his knees askin Sola 2 marry him. I think Sola's mouth was open for a good 5 minutes... as I heard. Unfortunately, I missed d proposal cause I was late 2 the event, but no kwamps sha, I will definitely b there 4 the wedding.

When I came in and heard, I started crying hysterically. I dunno why the hell I was crying, but I was. I called Funmie and cried on d phone 2 her too, and I also called my mom and cried. I was so happy 4 Sola. I just couldn't help crying! I have known her since she was a teenager and now she is engaged. You know one wonderful thing about this too? Sola's inlaws (Frank's family) are the best! They love her, and they are glad 2 have her in their midst. Frank's sister and I have already become inlaws sef! You shoulda heard us talking; you'd think we've known each other 4 years...

Sola appointed me as one of her weddin planners... yay! I love this kinda stuff. So as the weddin planner sha, I suggested we save money on the dj and use my boom box 4 music, but she rejected my idea... can u believe that?! She said I am crazy and retarded. Is that a way 2 talk 2 ur weddin planner? She doesn't know I can just vex and resign my post ehn? Sola's calling me crazy is something I know would neva end; she has always told me so from the very beginning. I even went as far as offering 2 give her the music cd of her choice 2 play in the boom box while she's walkin in2 the aisle, but this yeye gal refused. I mean, kpata kpata, if the cd scratches while she's walking in, we'll bring it out, clean it, and continue. My last suggestion 2 her was that we play 'shake that booty' by elephant man. (Actually, the song is called 'jook gal'), but she refused again! I tire 4 this kin customer o.

Oh, you know what I'm really lookin 4ward 2? I'm lookin 4ward 2 writin her a love poem and readin it @ the reception. This has always been a dream 4 us...and the fact that it will be happening soon is making my heart go paulina-paulina. Don't ask me wat that means; I learnt it from my mom. A paulina-paulina heart is a happy heart.

Hmmmm.... I wonder wat my engagement wuld b like. It betta be as crazy as I am... that's all I can say 4 now.

anyways, here r a few tips 2 reduce cost @ the wedding... and even make some money

• guests will bring their own food
• wedding wuld b held outside, so a hall would not b needed
• my boom box wuld b used, so a dj wuld not b necessary
• guests wuld bring their own canopy (if they want) 2 protect them from d sun... or rain sef
• Each family wuld share a spoon, a fork, a knife and a cup.
• The tap in the bathroom wuld b workin properly, so no drinks have 2 b bought
• The cake will be bought at CoastCo, Sam's Club or any other wholesale store ...
• ALL the guests wuld b mandated 2 get up and spray money on the couple
• ALL guests wuld be screened 4 gifts b4 comin in2 (under) the uh.. canopy
• ALL guests wuld b mandated 2 bring several zip locks bags and several empty water bottles... in case they need 2 shit or pee
• instead of chairs, mats would b spread on the grass 4 guests... but they can bring their own chairs if they want
• in fact, in addition 2 the mandatory gifts from the guests, there wuld also be a $20 gate fee
• ALL the guests (including unborn babies) wuld b required 2 buy a 'sola-weds-frank' pin whether they like it or not.. and it will cost an additional $10
• ALL the guests are required 2 take pictures @ the wedding, but only by the wedding photographer...and they must pay 2 have it printed out (whether they want it or not) = $15

....well, that's all 4 now. I bet u too think I've lost my good sense, right?

Bye 4 now jare... it's 3:40am. I got back home @ about 2:30am. I gotta go 2 bed now; I have some serious dreamin 2 do in my sleep.

Nite-nite!

Random Gists

If anyone cares 2 know, then know it that I feel a lil better than I did yesterday. I'm not completely 'healed', but I am feeling better sha.

Now, on 2 my random gists...

1. I was on the bus on my way back from skool 2day, and as always, I made the mistake of smiling back to an elderly lady who was staring at me. Let me explain: the woman was staring at me and it was a bit... in fact, a lot uncomfortable, so I made eye contact and smiled back, and what did I get in return? This woman started telling me her life history. She told me about how she would be celebrating her wedding anniversary next month (on father's day) with her husband. The problem is, she could not remember if it was her 18 or 19th anniversary. And she asked me "which one is it?". How da hell am I supposed 2 know? And why is it that these yankee people always wanna talk? You know that kinda conversation where you're not really hearing wat they're even saying (or even caring 2 hear sef) and you're responding by saying things like...yea... mm hmm... oh my... really?... you don't say... oh... wow.....etc. But they still wanna keep on talkin.... haba!
2. I wore a blouse/shirt/top that says "Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go". Yes, I know what you are thinking.. 'this gal wears too many shirts that have things written on them.' Abi oh, I know I do. Anyway sha, the shirt kept on drawin unnecessary attention 2 my chest. In fact, I'm sure some people were just staring @ other things under the pretense of reading what was written on my shirt. Well, that one concern them sha.
3. I had a case of 'bad panty!' today. I had a reoccuring wedgie (is that d right spellin?). I no come understand the thing @ all. I wear only two types of underwears (panties): thongs & g-string bikinis, and today I was wearing a g-string bikini (which is just like a regular underwear wit very thin strings @ the side), so why was I having a wedgie? The bad part is that I was wearing a kinda tight skirt, so it made me self-conscious. Was every1 lookin @ my butt and saying "gee, she shoulda worn a thong"? The worse thing sef is the inability 2 pull the damn wedgie out. How was I supposed 2 pull it out when I was in the public? You neva know when one fine man dey look pesin... only 2 see me diggin my hands in my ass 2 pull out my underwear. How I go take xplain am now? Anyways sha...
4. I came back from skool and my head was seriously poundin, so I decided 2 take a walk outside again. I ended up walking up 2 Royal Farms and just sitting in the bus-stop booth. I sat there for over an hour and all I was doing was watching people come and go as I was thinking about my life. B4 I got 2 the booth, I was just walking (on the sidewalk o!) and some oyibo kid would just zoom past me on his bike. I didn't even hear him comin, and if I had by any chance decided 2 turn around or something, he woulda knocked me down. You see how devil dey use pesin?

Anyways, that's all I gat 4 now jare. I would make sure I come back later 4 some more gist... u know now!

Crossroads

You know we as human beings always meet several crossroads in life; we find ourselves in situations where we have 2 make decisions 2 take one road... and only one. Usually, there r things we want on both roads, but life won't b nice enough 2 let us have both, so we end up makin a choice. If we're lucky, the decision is pretty simple and it will not take us less than a second 2 decide, but if we are not lucky, we have 2 weigh and reweigh our options, and even after all the weighing, we still don't know if we made the right decision. We may have 2 go on 4 the rest of our lives wondering "what if I had picked the other road?"

The reason why i am talking about crossroads is because today was a terrible, terrible day 4 me. I wish I could go in2 details, but I would rather not. I don't know if I have eva been so confused in my life. I don't know what the hell I am doing; I don't know what I should be doing or what I should not even be considering. In my case, I seem 2 have 2 many roads 2 go, but the problem is that I can only go on one. No matter what decision I decide 2 make, I would still feel down @ the end of it.

I have been crying all day; my eyes are blood-shot, my head is throbbing and I am sleepy as hell. I only slept for about an hour between yesterday and today. I feel so exhausted and I really wish I could just disappear 2 an island and stay there by myself for a while i recuperate and get my head together...but no such luck 4 me.

It is @ times like this that I wish I had some supernatural power. I wish I could fly myself 2 Heaven or at least summon the presence of His Royal Highness, God 2 my house, so I could ask him some serious questions. Yea, I know God is everywhere, but I want him 2 be physically present, and I wanna look in2 His eyes and ask Him questions. Whatever He says I should do, I will. I honestly would not question His authority for one second.

There r so many things that I wish I could right now, but God knows best anyway. I'm goin 2 bed for now; I will be back tomorrow, I hope.

I'm really, really down, and I feel like if I get up from this chair, I will pass out.

I have an exam tomorrow and I have no idea what 2 expect. I have not even taken the time 2 look at my book. I don't use the f-word, but this is some fucked up shit.

Good nite, diary.

Nature Walk

Today, I decided 2 go 4 a walk, and it was refreshingly satisfying. It's been two years since we moved here, but b4 2day, I had never taken a walk around my area. Actually I had but my walk was headed east, and today it was west. I left my house @ 9:50pm (yeah, I know it's kinda late), and I took with me a long-strap purse hangin on my shoulder and across my body, $20, my change-purse, my cell phone, and of course, lip gloss. (You know I'm addicted 2 lip gloss). It was sooo beautiful outside. The weather was perfect, but unfortunately, I wasn't. You would not believe what I was wearing! I was wearing peach-colored flip flops, a purple skirt, a black t-shirt with white inscriptions that says "Naija 4 Life. 10% AFRICAN/70% 419/20% MOJO". Tell me you're not jealous of my shirt. But anyways... here's the link if you wanna purchase something 4 urself NaijaShirts

Like I was saying sha, the weather was really nice, and the moon was bright and out. I'm sure you're wondering why a sane girl would walk by herself at 10pm for no reason; well, first of all, i am not that sane. 2nd of all, I do not and cannot appreciate walking under the sun. Nope, that's not 4 me @ all. When the sun is down, you can get me 2 walk almost anywhere, but under the sun? Tufia kwa! And even though the sun is not really out in the morning, I cannot do morning either cause I am just not one to wake up early in the morning. Besides, I always go 2 bed late. I go 2 bed anywhere from 2am, so if you're expecting me 2 wake up @ 7am 2 admire the rising of the sun, you must have lost your damn mind. Video tape it and send it 2 me.

The walk was the type that I would have enjoyed better if I was doing it with someone. Where is Uju when I actually need her? When I came back, I called her and asked her if she would be interested in walking with me when her exams are over, and she said yea, so it's a deal! Maryland's newest and hottest walking partners have just been invented.

Last but not least, I finally finished my article... yay! It's called 'If You Must, Do It The Right Way'. Please take your time to read it and leave comments!

Nite-nite....

I'll be back 2morrow.

I Wouldn't Even Copy The Date From Her!!

So there I was oh... jejely taking my chem exam...and fully concentrating on it by the way, just 4 me 2 coincidentally look @ the woman sittin next 2 me, and guess wat she was doing? She had the impudence 2 be fighting tooth and nail just 2 cover her work. Yes, I know you think I was giraffin, but trust me, I wasn't. This woman got a 53% on the first exam...which was the easiest o! And I'm not tryna toot my own horns, but I aced that test...and the rest of them (xcept the one I got a 'B' on sha), so you can imagine my annoyance 2 find her tryna cover her stuff like that....like I would even copy the date. I don't even trust the date on her paper sef...not 2 talk of gettin d answers. I would rather guess all the answers that copy one single thing from her; at least, that way, I would know my failure is as a result of my ignorance. Anyway, I just kuku turned my head 2 the other side of the room b4 it will turn 2 something else. Can you believe that when I was done and ready 2 turn it in, this woman was giraffin my stuff? And she wasn't even doin it with style o. I didn't care if she copied mine of course.... it's not like we had the same question papers. Her copying my stuff would b 2 her own detriment, so I figured she could copy all she wanted. Which one concern yansh and toothbrush?

Anyway, Uju is comin 2 my house 2nite 2 do God-knows-what. I don't even have a say in wheather she comes or not... ain't that something? One would think she pays rent here, but trust me, she doesn't oh. She just comes and does what she wants and eats what she wants, and at the end, she'll even throw in a lil insult 2 me. Yeap, she's very generous.

Anyways, lemme go 4 today! We go talk 2morrow.

Lost In A Trance

I was sent a song called "Feels Right", and it was sang by a certain Lemar. I have been listening to the song for hours and I am in love with it... believe me, I shit you not. The lyrics of his poem are killin! If a man could dedicate a song like this 2 u, I guarantee you won't let him go. It's a wonderful song, believe me, and guess what? He's Nigerian! He's based in the U.K. He's good, girls! My eyes are closed and I am lost in a trance... a very beautiful trance 4 that matter.

I wrote a new poem today called "Unfathomable", but I do not intend to post it online; it's a private poem, but I really like it anyway.

I have a chem exam tomorrow which I have not studied for. You know why? It's the end of the semester and I am too lazy... and it's also an open book exam. Why would I study? Psshhhtt pls! It's not gonna happen... abi them no born me well.

Ooooh, I'm typing this thing with my eyes closed cause the song is running through my blood vessels. Gosh, I'm in love.

The Weekend Is Ova Already

Nawa O.... it seems like I just started the weekend and now it's over already.... and what did I accomplish?

• Well, for starters, I talked 2 my bestfriend in Naija....yay!!!!!!!! I cannot begin 2 tell you how happy I was (and still am) to talk to Uchenna. She's da bomb! That girl is soooo... I can't even tell you. Words are not enough for me 2 tell you. It's quite disappointing that I did not write about her in my article about girl friends; I just decided to write about only those in U.S.... but I really wish I had included her name. Anyways, she's close 2 my heart. I cannot wait 2 see her again...it's been too damn long.
• I started another article called "If You Must, Do It The Right Way". Do you have any idea what it might be about? I think it's one of those articles where I joke about serious issues, which is why I personally like it. You should check it out when I'm done writing it. Of course, I will let you know.
• I watched two naija movies online. Did you know you could watch Naija movies online for free? Yes oh, courtesy of Online Nigeria. I was (and still am, of course) impressed! Those movies really helped keep me busy. Thank God 4 that miracle.

I'm starting to accept the fact that I might not work this summer, but I just wish and pray and Hope to God that I get a lap top. It will really make my summer! I'm a weird creature, you know. A lot of people can't wait for summer to get here, so they can be all skimpy and hot, but me on the other hand, I hate...or rather dislike summer. There is nothing refreshing about constantly being warm. I mean, hot damn! Fall is really my best season, but if I had 2 pick one between the harsh winter and the burning summer, you better believe I'd rather have winter.

It's refreshing to have warm weather; keyword being 'warm', but summer is just straight up wicked! It makes me very uncomfortable as I do not ever wish to break a sweat unless I am deliberately trying 2. During the summer, breathing alone woulf make you break a sweat. Although I don't sweat a lot, I don't even wanna be moist. And taking showers every 30 minutes starts taking a toll on one's skin after a while.

If you care to know, the itching on my breast and nipple has stopped. I don't know what that was all about, but I am glad it's over with now.

Sorry I did not come back yesterday to continue my entry; I was carried away by the Naija movie I was watching. So how do you like my picture? I figured it's time for people to see what this mysterious Vera looks like.... abi what do you think?

Nite....

I See You!!

Forget the fact that my eye is closed, I can see you!

Ain't That Something?

This picture is just too funny. I guess the poor woman has upgraded too, abi? Well, I've got more 2 write but 4 now, I wanna go clean up my bathroom... it's saturday, you know? I'll be back 2 continue this post. 

This Vera Sef...

You know sometimes we as humans (I'm talkin bout myself by the way) whine and whine and bug God 2 do something 4 us, but when He finally does, we become afraid and start wondering why it is so good. Does something being so good necessarily mean it cannot be true? I mean, it is said that "if it is too good to be true, it probably is", but is it really true? Is it possible that something that is too good 2 be true is only too good 2 be true because it is a gift from our Father above?

God knows what I have been beggin Him 4....well, He knows allll the things I have been beggin Him for, and now, I think He has granted me one of them, but why am I so scared then? Why am I so afraid that this gift is too good? Why do I feel like it is too good of a gift 2 be given by God? After all, all good things come from God, right? Nawa o, this Vera sef!

Oh God, I know You know what I am talking about, so just keep doing what You do best (Blessing me), and I will do what I should do best (accepting Your Blessings with open hands). Now, I am not being ungrateful oh, but You know what else I want.... and I want it fasttttttt - Thanks Lord.

No1 should even think of asking me what Blessing God has given me cause I ain't tellin!

Now, good nite.

Honestly, I'm Not Bitter...

B4 you swear up and down that I am bitter, I just wanna say that I am not! But what the hell is with these soap opera stars? Why must they kiss like that? Kissing scenes in soap operas just make me go arrrggghhhhh!!! The sound of the kiss.... the looks on their faces... the moans... the groans... shut the hell up!!! I don't know why, they just make me sick to my stomach. I don't wanna see it; I don't wanna hear it... nothing! I bet you're wondering why I watch soap operas right? Well, I don't. My mother does. It seems like she won't feel complete without watching Days Of Our Lives and Passions on NBC Daytime. Days Of Our Lives seems 2 have a kissing scene every 5 minutes; what the hell is that? Somebody betta warn them b4 I charge o!

My gum hurts and I don't know why. I hope I'm not growin another tooth because I am too old 4 this. I know I am damn too old 4 this. Besides, I coulda sworn I already have a complete set. I am in no mood to keep sending my tongue on errands to find out what lies on my gum. The yeye tongue sef doesn't even know.

Mehn, I wish my four year old nephew was here; I woulda made him stand on my back. I love it when he does so; it is soooooo nice! Sometimes I make him count the hair on my head. Poor boy. It feeels so good when someone is pulling my hair (especially the hair in the middle of my big head) gently. Of course he can't actually count all my hair (who can?), but somehow, he always tells me I have 30... or is it 20? No, I think it's 30 hairs. Funny kid, he is. I also love when someone is putting hair creme on my scalp or just rubbing my scalp gently. God, I love it! Well, that would be part of my husband's job description - whenever I marry him, of course.

I still haven't fully recovered from the lack of sleep I had yesterday, so I'm gonna get up and get my ass right back to bed. I love sleep, don't I? I'm gonna go make a long distance call, then I'm gonna go 2 bed. I need 2 call my cousin, Nachi in Nigeria. He has been flashin' me all day. I bet you he will have no reason 2 be flashin me. He's probably doin it just 2 say hi.

What can I do? He just can't get enough of me, but then again, who can? I mean, look @ God; the man can't stop watching over me. I can't say I can blame him though. He's proud of His job well done.

But enuff 'bout me and God's admiration of me. Wat's up wit u? That was a rhetorical question, of course.

Bye....

What A Day....

Can you believe that I stayed awake from yesterday till today? I mean, I did not sleep between monday and tuesday...isn't that crazy? Actually, I finally slept @ about 7:40am, but I had to be up @ 8:00am, so would you really consider that as sleeping? Don't even ask me why I was up so late....or early...

Remember how I told you my right breast was itching? It got worse! Now, even the nipple is itching too. I'm telling you, as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror today, I started looking at my toothbrush differently. I just wanted to grab that thing and set it to kill the itch on my nipple. But I hadn't taken a shower, and I didn't wanna rub germs on my toothbrush and then use it in my mouth. Besides, the itch might be transferred to my teeth...... if possible (but I doubt it).

Thank goodness Ms. Flow is leaving; I'm sure she won't last past tomorrow....or today sef. She'll be back sometime next month. She flies in through the "menses airway".

I just cooked some stew, and I guess I should also cook some rice but it's kinda late, and I really don't feel like it. Well, some people sent me emails about my latest article, so I guess I could put some rice on fire and come back to continue this entry and start my emails...

*Vera gets up and walks into the kitchen*... (why do I refer 2 myself as a third person? I have some serious issues)

Can you believe Uju just came 2 my house and dumped her notes? She didn't copy down her notes in class, and now, I have to help her do it...even though I don't have the same class with her. Hell, we don't even attend the same skool. But anyways...

I guess I'm done 4 today. I'll be sure to update you tomorrow.... or the day after.

Gud Nite.

Wedding Bells

No, no, no! Not mine, so stop getting excited. Well, at least not mine to my knowledge anyway.

Yesterday, I went 4 a wedding with my mom & grandma (though I was plannin on not going). We attended Igbo church (yes, they have that here), and though I usually do not like going (because those women gossip 2 damn much!), yesterday I decided to go. I had no idea there would be a wedding during the service. I didn't really enjoy it cause all it did was make the service longer (as if 2.5 hours isn't already too long for a Catholic Church!). I decided to go 4 the reception too (thereby missin a new episode of Charmed...darn!), and I guess it was okay. I didn't like the DJ cause I thought he stunk like a skunk, but anyways.... if one more person tells me about how ripe I am for marriage ehn....! there will be hell 2 pay!

Here's one little (or maybe not so little) problem I have been having: my right breast has been itching the hell outta me! Not the nipple oh, just the other part. It's the type of itch you just gotta scratch, but then I don't wanna open my skin, and i'm kinda starting 2 get tired of just slapping it 2 stop the itch. Besides, it hurts and it doesn't even relieve the itch. All it does is make it sting and make me wanna scratch it even more. What could this mean? When I was little (and didn't have breast), my cousin used to say it meant it needed 2 be sucked, but somehow I think she was just deceiving me. I doubt it will be a good idea if I ask some1 to do that... besides.... well, never mind that issue 4 now.

You know, sometimes, you think you know someone, and then you realize that you really don't. I don't know how married couples do it, 4 real. How do they deal with each other's short comings? I mean, what happens when one partner realizes the other one is a bonafied liar?

Have I ever told you of how much I dream of becoming someone's wife? I'm not tryna toot my own horns, but I know I will make a damn good wife. If only you knew what plans I got, I bet you'll be running to propose 2 me right about now. I believe I will be a good wife, which is why i cannot settle 4 less. I refuse 2 settle down with someone who cannot meet me halfway. I know you might be wondering why I am talking about this, but never mind that, we'll get back to it later.

Do you know that I have a chem assignment due tomorrow and I have not even started it? Go figure.

One last thing b4 I sign out 4 the day, I wanna make a confession. I'm very confused at this point about where my life is headed. I got so confused today that I started crying.... although that might have been my hormones (since I am currently shedding blood).

Speaking of shedding blood, yesterday (my 2nd day) was my heaviest (always is), so being @ a wedding was really not in my best interest. There's nothing fun about constantly wondering if the pad may have shifted while you were dancing and bending down. Of course, I coulda sat my ass down, but I couldn't help it. In spite of how much the DJ sucked, he still had some nice music. And 2 make it worse, the bathroom sucked! Ewww! I couldn't go in there 2 expose the beauty between my legs in the name of changing a pad... no way! That's how people catch thangz, u know?

Alright, I think I have said too much. I may be a little drunk... on caffeine. I drank a can of mountain dew 2day.... sshhh, don't tell any1.

G'Nite.

*Vera slowly exits and signs out of d blogger network)*

Flowin' Into Mood Swings...

Ok, it's that time of the month again. Why do I have to share such intimate details of my life, you ask? Frankly speaking, I have no clue. I just know that when I type here, I feel the need to write all that is on my mind - well, almost all. My mood swings haven't kicked in yet (Thank God), but I'm expecting a full dose of it tomorrow, which is why I have decided not to attend a wedding tomorrow. I don't wanna sit there with my face looking like shit plastered on the wall. I mean, what if the camera man decides to take my picture? Hmmm, that won't be good at all. Anyway, Miss Flo' just came today, so I expect her to be here till wednesday at most.

About Silent Hill..... Aaaarrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, the movie started out well. It had just the right amount of suspense, thrill and horror, but towards the end (you know, the part that is supposed to give everyone closure!), everything became twisted. I don't wanna say what happened in case you haven't seen it and wish to, but I will say is that I just didn't (and still don't) get it. When the movie was over, Uju stood in front of the screen waiting for another scene, even though they had started listing the names of the cast members. That movie better have a second part coming up, cause yesterday I was pissed as shit. It's bad enough that I don't understand the movie, now the end of it definitely did not justify the means. I need to stick to comedies, 4 real.

Halleluia! I just finished an article. It's called When The Pendulum Swings, and you should definitely check it out. And don't forget to leave comments; I love the comments. The comments are what keep me writing really, so please, don't forget me. Thanks in advance.

I am soooooo bored, you have no idea. I didn't even know it was possible to be as bored as I am now...especially when Ms. Flo is here. Usually, I woulda been curled up on the couch crying about something I don't even know. Well, I guess that's not very fun either. Hmmmm, this is serious.

Friday Night

So..... wat's up with your friday nite? Doing anything nice? Well, I have a movie date with Uju and her sister in-law. The movie starts at 10:45pm; it's 10:26pm and they are not here yet. Of course, I could always walk to Uju's house since it's just about 5 minutes of walk, but I'm too engrossed in the music I'm listening to. I love music. I love dancing. It's soo damn therapeutic. Well, don't feel too bad that you're not going; I didn't make my mind up until about 30 minutes ago. We're going 2 watch Silent Hill, and I know for sure that it will be good. It has been getting good reviews, so I'm definitely looking forward to seeing it. Thank God Uju would be there... I might get scared, you know.

Anyway, there isn't really much for me to write on here, so I'm gonna go off b4 Uju hurts me. She just called to say she's downstairs. Ok, bye!

So It Has Come 2 This....???

You know, I've always been convinced that I am one of the lucky people who don't have meddling parents. But that was until today when my father called me to tell me that he has given my number to the son of his friend. Apparently, he and his friend (whom I don't know by the way!) had discussed and decided that I should meet with the man's son who is in millitary, and also here in the States. By the way, I don't even know what state this guy I'm supposed to meet lives in. And what can't the guy even find a woman for himself? Well, maybe he's just as innocent as I am; maybe his father just told him "Look, take this number; it belongs to the daughter of my friend, and her father and I have decided that you should call her. She lives in the States too."

Ain't that something?!

Uju's mother always calls her from Nigeria to talk about marriage and the sort, and the poor girl is tired of hearing it already. My mother has never spoken to me about marriage, though I'm a year older than Uju. I mean, my mom makes comments such as "is that what you'll do when you get married?" or "we'll see what your husband thinks about it", but she has never tried to hook me up before! I cannot believe my father is hooking me up; I cannot believe it!! Has it come to this now? Have I become such an old maid that I have 2 be hooked up by my father? This is just 2 funny 2 me. I still consider myself a baby o! I still want daddy's affection. I wanna rub my daddy's big tummy and I wanna eat the last meat in his soup, dammit!

Ok, whoosah.... now that I have let out my frustration, shey you understand where I'm comin from? You understand why I feel the way I do, right? I mean, do you not also want the last meat in your daddy's soup? Don't u want his stockfish? His dry fish (okporoko)? I know I do! And hooking me up with some guy who I don't know or care to know is getting in the way of me and that meat.

I wonder if he (the guy I'm supposed to meet) is feelin the way that I am. I wonder if he's thinking "what the hell?" like I am too. Hopefully, he is anyway. Anyway, we'll see how this turns out. Of course, you know I will update you.

See Ya.....!

Mystified

Have you ever felt like so many things are going on in your life, and at the same time nothing is going on? That's exactly how I feel. I feel like there are so many things going on, and I can barely catch my breath to watch it all, yet I feel like nothing is going on. I feel like I'm just watching my go by; I feel like I'm just standing at the corner and watching my boring yet buzy life. How is that possible?

You know, one thing I know for sure is that God needs to step up really, really quick before I lose my Blessed mind. I know that He needs to speed things up before I bore myself to the point of no return. If only awards were given for being mentally active right? Trust me, it sucks to be so mentally active and so full of wonderful ideas, and yet be unable to express them. All you can really do is dream them. Isn't that the worst kind of prison?

Looking around the world, I know that there are people with much bigger problems than myself. I know some people wonder if they will make it into the next minute due to lack of food, water, etc. I know some families are so broken up that the pieces cannot even be found. I know that some people have left their homes this morning and not return, but I left my house and I'm home. I'm not worried about what I will eat or drink in the next minute, hour, day, week, and even month. Perhaps after a month, I might need to restock.... you get the point. And I know where all the pieces of my family are ... well, I least I know of the important ones.

I miss my father sooooooooooooooooooo much, and I have been dreaming about him consecutively every night. I love that man so damn much. Words alone cannot express the magnitude of my love for him. And my mother? Don't get me started on that woman. She's my pillar of strength. I couldn't have possibly asked for a better woman for a mother. My mother would go hungry for a month before I lack food for a day. She's the wind beneath my wings. I appreciate her so much; my only regret is that I am currently unable to tell her exactly how much she means to me. She's my queen. She took so much because of me. She goes without just to see me happy. Does it really get better?

I changed my mind. I don't have much of a problem. I mean, I do, but my Blessings are a lot more. And truthfully speaking, I know it's only a phase. I know it's only a matter of time before it will become part of my history. I have faith in God to do right by me; he always has anyway, so I have no reason to doubt him now. You know the meaning of Vera? It's a Russian name and it means 'Faith', so you see it's kinda impossible for me not 3 trust God.

Been A While.....

It seems like 4eva since I updated you, and I'm sorry about that. Don't blame me; it's not easy starting the computer and sitting here to type stuff up. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood. More like my spirit is willing, but my body is so darn weak.

Yesterday, I was supposed 2 go 2 skool, and even though I woke up early and got dressed on time, I just couldn't bring myself to go to skool. I just wasn't feelin' it. You know how that is, right?

Remember how I said I was obsessed with shoes? Well, I don't think I am as obsessed as I used to be; however, I have found a new obsession. I have become a junkie.... a parfume junkie! Right now, I am currently obsessing over two perfumes, but I would not mention their names anyway....although it will be good to do so just in case someone decides to be generous enough to buy them for me... although I doubt it.

Anyways, I'll be back 2 tell u more later.

Weekend Update

Hey-ey!

The other day, I was goin 2 continue my talk about the custom built man, but I didn't really feel like it. But b4 I continue anyway, let me tell you about my weekend. I spent it in my aunt's house. I was supposed to braid her hair, but as usual, that never came to pass. That woman never stops making me laugh.

Back to the custom-built man: Wouldn't you like to have a man who knows your in and out? A man who knows the language of silence and unspoken words? A man who can smell your emotions a mile away? Before you open your mouth, he already knows what you're thinking. I mean, he's everything you've ever dreamed of...and more. You share private jokes and have secret signs that no one else (apart from God, of course) can understand. When you're in public, he doesn't have to tell you anything; when your eyes meet, you already know what's on his mind. A man that you have butterflies for @ any given time. Just imagining him as your husband makes you visibly blush. So special is he to you that you can't even show him to anyone. At the mere mention of his name, you smile from ear to ear. What do you call that? Love?

Mm mm mm. There are so many things I'm looking forward to. There are so many times I know I would stare people in the face and say "aha! You thought I wouldn't make it". But lemme keep that on the down low. I wouldn't wanna ruin the pleasant surprise that awaits everyone when I reveal all the things I have been keeping to myself. Oh boy!

G'Nite Diary,

I will be back tomorrow....to talk about the day our Lord Jesus Christ rose from the dead. Talk about Glory! It's indeed a Glorious event... don't u think? Pray for me that tomorrow holds all the promises I have envisioned, Amen.

Dear God

Dear God,

It may be really weird that I am using this medium to communicate to You, but I know You must have internet connection somewhere in Heaven. I mean, common God, we are in 2006. Please tell me You are up to date with technology. With all Your power, You must have wireless internet all over Your crib (Heaven).

Now, I know You already know why I am writing, but I will state it for the record. I am writing to beg for Your mercy, Grace and help in my upcoming plan. I know You know what it is, so I'm not gonna go in2 details. Lord, You alone know how much I need this, and frankly speaking, You alone can help me, so please God, do what You do best and open Your door of Blessings to me.

Father, You know me better than I know myself, and I know You know the things that have been jumping around in my head. Please grant me my heart desires, so I can do the things I wanna do. Grant me my heart desires, and all Glory will be given unto You. You know my dreams and my aspirations, so please help me, so I can achieve them. You know my strengths and weaknesses better than I do, so please, Lord, consider them when You Bless me abundantly.

I was born a sinner; always have been and always will be, but please don't judge me by my sins, but by the Faith I have in You. You said we should ask and we shall be given, so Lord, I am asking, and I am believing that You will not let me down. Thank you for listening (reading), Amen.

Good night, Lord

Your Daughter

Custom-Built Man

I have been thinking about writing an article about having a custom-built man, but I have not had the chance to because I have not been able to come up with satisfactory title, until now, that is. Don't ask me what it's about; if you care to know, you can always find out when I write the article.

So.... how was your weekend? I wonder why I'm asking how your weekend was; it's not like you have much of a life, if any. Well, I'll tell you about mine. You can live your life thru me; how about that? On saturday, I went to Funmie's house for the surprise party she planned for her junior sister, Seun. It was really nice, and I enjoyed it. Well, that's about it.

Back to this custom-built man thing. Have you ever felt like someone is specially made for you? I mean, like no matter where you go or where he/she goes, there never will be a perfect fit until you two are together...like a lock and key. I don't know... maybe I'm just letting my fantasies get the best of me, or maybe there is some truth (and possibility) to what I'm talking about. I don't wanna elaborate on this till I write my article; I don't want to be repeating myself like a broken record, so please, do check out my article when I write it. Of course I will let you know when I write it. You know the strange thing? I don't know who I'm talking to.

Well, i gotta go right now. I wanna go read a novel. Currently, I'm reading Married Men by Carl Weber. I'm done reading Baby Momma Drama by the same author, and now I'm reading a different book. He's good!

Ciao!

Sleepin' Day

Dear Diary,

I slept so much today that if I wasn't so damn sure of myself, I woulda thought I'm pregnant. I mean I kept on waking up and going back to bed and waking up and going back to bed and so on. But mehn, the sleep was good! It was that type of sleep that you never wanna wake up from. I had a lotta vivid dreams too, but I forgot all about them as soon as I woke up from each sleep-dream episode.

Yesterday, I went to the Library to return some books I borrowed, and borrow one, but instead, I came back with 13 of them. Ok, I have gat to stop doing this! I need to write my book... not read other people's books. They woulda neva gotten them on the shelves if they all they did was read other books. But then again, I guess I deserve a lil break every once in a while, right? Besides, I am a novel junkie. I can't seem to tear myself away from novels. It has always been like this since I was little. I remember in Nigeria, my mother actually got mad at me for reading too much too soon. She'd always say "stop reading them so fast! The books are expensive." It's funny thinking about it now. But thank God for the public Library that lets one borrow as many books as possible for FREE!!!

Right now, I'm reading Baby Momma Drama by Carl Weber. I just started it today, so I can't really tell how good it is (although I trust Carl to do a great job). It has 327 pages.

Can you believe I have a chem assignment which is due tomorrow, and I have not even started it? What time is it sef? Well, I'm gonna retire to my room and try my best to do the assignment, though I really don't feel like it. After that, I will read the novel till sleep finds me and takes me on a temporary journey into my dellusions.... you know how it it.

Good nite, Diary. It's not like you have to wake up tomorrow mornin'

Sweet dreams.

Aftermath Of A Party Weekend

Boy oh boy! Now that I look back on it, I think I wish I woulda done some things differently. But it's pretty futile for me to sit here and think of all the things I woulda, shoulda done differently. I mean, of what use is it for me to wish that I had taken my textbook to Sola's house? Of what use is it for me to wish that I had taken out the time to study for my chem exam tomorrow? On that note, I would even like to state a disclaimer: it really isn't my fault that I am lazy to read; she (my teacher) shouldn't have told us it was an open book exam!

Anyways, Sola's thanksgiving was great. It could have been better, but Sola is a very stubborn human being who refused to heed any of my advise. As they say, 'advise most needed is least heeded'. But I don't wanna go into details and put her business on the internet (although I woulda been more than happy to do so).

Uju and I went to Bare Feet Shoes again on saturday in search of the perfect shoes, but found nothing; well, at least I didn't. I want to buy a shoe so badly that I was ready to settle and take any shoe just for the sake of it, but I imagined the pair of shoes I picked to be a man, and then I remembered that I really would not settle for just 'any' man for the heck of it. So I had to drop the shoes; I didn't like them, and I didn't want to take them for the hell of it. Thank God I listened to my heart.

Anyways, on saturday night, we (Uju, Sola, Ibukun, and I) went for A.Y.'s surprise party for his fiancee, and it was a good party. I guess I was finally in need of a party tune up, and that's why I was in the party spirit, right? Or maybe it had to do with Uju playing loud party songs in her car on saturday on our way to the shoe store? Either way, I got the dance I very well deserved.

I'm gonna go wash the dishes right now (even though it's pretty late). After that, I will work on my "Project 2007"... and don't ask me what it is. When it's time, you will know. By His Grace, it will be ready in the summer of 2007. Shout a big 'Amen' for me, please.

AMEN!!!

Friday - Friday

Dear Diary,

It's been several days since I last updated you; not because I didn't wanna, but because I had nothing to say. Even now as I type, I don't really have much to say; in fact, I don't have anything to say.

A.Y's fiancee, Yemisi has finally come to America, and A.Y couldn't be happier. He's having a surprise get-together for her tomorrow. A.Y. always has a reason to throw a party, lol. I remember when he threw an after party for a baby shower; that was simply hillarious. Until that day, I had neither heard of nor attended a baby shower after-party, but it was fun anyway. That was the day Uju forgot she had a boyfriend. Gosh, what memories I have to share with my kids (when I have them, of course). I still don't know if I'm going or not; it all depends on Uju really. If I dare to tell her know this time, I would really be in trouble. She will really kick my ass to the curb this time. Besides, A.Y. is our friend, and I know he would come for me if I was celebrating something. Hmmmm, but then, Sola would be mad that I'm leaving her house sha. Men, this isn't easy at all. How am I supposed to make a decision?

Tomorrow night, I'm going to sleep in sola house, so I can get ready for the Thanksgiving on sunday. Oh my, I haven't even bought the shoes I need! Geez, I need to go shopping tomorrow. Why didn't I just buy that pair I saw on Monday?

Anyways, before I bore you into not even visiting my blog anymore, I guess I should stop right here. I need to go take a shower right now. No, I do not stink! I cooked some stew and I feel like I smell of food, which I really don't like. So I'm gonna go take a much deserved shower, put some shimmering lotion on, and Bless myself with some perfume. Ok, one more confession: I think in addition to being a shoe junkie, I have also become a perfume junkie. I just can't get enough!

Shoot, I need to go pack my bag for tomorrow. Yes, I know I'm only spending on nite, but hmmmm, a girl can never be too ready!

G'nite

And I Thought I Loved Shoe-Shoppin'

Okay, up to today, I have been proudly and confidently telling all who cared to listen that shoe shopping is my thing, but when I went to Bare Feet Shoes today to look for a pair of shoes (only one pair o!), I was ready to lose me Blessed mind. I mean, dayum! The ones I liked didn't come in my size (I wear a nine). It was either a size 7 or size 11..... aarrggghhhh. I could have managed 8 1/2 or 9 1/2 but 7 and 11? Nah men. Not possible. I'd have 2 shave half of my feet off to fit in2 a size 7 or magically add some meat to fit an 11. It's just not fair!

I had planned on going to DSW if Bare Feet Shoes didn't work out, but mehn.... I was just too tired. See, that's one of the good things about being a celebrity. If I were a celebrity, my assistant(s) would only bring me shoes that are my perfect size, so I would not have to suffer going from aisle 2 aisle lookin @ different shoes and then looking for them in size nine. Darn it! Anyways, lemme come back 2 reality 4 now.

I hope to resume my search for a shoe on saturday. Why am I looking for a shoe? Well, Sola is having a thanxgivin service on sunday, so I wanna be lookin fly. Now, you'd think that Sola's thanxgivin is a big event, but it really isn't. I just want an excuse 2 have a new shoe. Yeah, I said it!

Update On Visit To The Club

I was gonna update you yesterday on the status of the club visit my girls made without me. Apparently, they got there after hours of dressing up, but for some reason (which I am not gonna mention online in order not to embarrass them - Haha!), they had to leave. Thank God I wasn't there. You see, what can I say? Things just aren't the same without me.

Now, remember the movie, Phat Girls that I told you about? It was supposed to come out in February, but now it's coming out on the 7th of April. You bet your ass I'll be there! I found another website for the movie, and they even have a link for Naija! When you click on the link, you learn quite a lot about Naija and there is even a link for nollywood. Sho!!! Story don pass town-cryer mouth o! Of course, as a proper naija girl, you know I was... and still am impressed.

To check out the link I have been ranting about, click here

You will be happy to learn that I did some writing yesterday. I am so proud of myself, you have no idea. Anyways, I think that's all for now. I doubt if I have anything else to add.

Bye

Lawd Deliver Me From Uju

How on earth did I get on Uju's bad side? And more importantly, how long will she count my act against me? Uju and I don't really have misunderstandings like that; not that we never have, or that we agree on everything, but somehow, we just don't have misunderstandings like that. We understand each other on a different level. For one thing, we are the only Igbos in our cirlce of friends. Well, actually, there are three of us, but the third girl (Toha) isn't always there.

Now, lemme xplain how I got on Uju's bad side today. Remember I told you about Funmi's two friends from Boston? Well, we were all supposed to hang out today like we did yesterday, but I would not have been caught dead in a club. Here's one thing about me: I love parties, but I am unable to attend them all the time. I mean, the only way it can be fun for me is if I go for a parrty once in a blue moon. With that being said, the last time I went for a party was on my birthday (14th Jan), and as of now, I don't feel like going for a party yet. My cousin, Arinze is always saying I am dry, but I just can't force the 'party spirit' unless I am well due for a party tune-up.

Another thing is that I hate, or rather, dislike clubs. I don't know why, but something about being in the midst of so many strangers grinding up on each other, and me running the risk of having my ass felt by a drunk moron just gives me the heebie-jeebies. I mean, when I go for a party, I go buck wild! Well, maybe not buck wild, but I do get my groove on; I cannot afford to let an outfit and an hour of make-up go to waste.

Now why am I talking about parties and clubs? Well, Funmi, or rather Funmi's friends from Boston wanna experience the Baltimore club scene (not that I feel there is anything to be felt!), but I told her from the get-go that I had no intention of draggin my ass down to a party, talk less of a club. For whatever reason, Uju tried to convince me to go (since she's going too). She begged and begged and I honestly felt bad for refusing to even consider the prospect. Now, she has made a mental note of it.... damn. If I were a guy, this would be the time I would go out and buy flowers for her, but since I'm not a guy....how am I supposed to appease her then?

I know Uju might be feeling a bit lonely at the club cause she'll be the only Igbo girl among the bunch that are going. Not to sound @ all tribal, but when these Yoruba folks get together, they speak Yoruba from A-Z... not @ all minding that there is a non-Yoruba person in their midst. I've learnt to live with it, I guess (do I really have a choice?), but having Uju with me has always been a huge cushion cause more times than I can remember, I always get lost. Sometimes I find myself wondering "why the hell am I even here?" Don't even lemme talk about when they start watching Yoruba movies and asking me if I understand. Duh! I enjoy their (Funmi & co) company and all, but damn, can a sistah get a language break?!

Uju, I hope you read this sha, and when you do, just know that I am truly sorry. You can see how sorry I am cause I am writing this on my blog and risking getting some inquisitive emails from Naija men asking "I don't mean to sound rude, but are you gay? 'Cause if you are, that would really be a waste". Mama G (Uju), you know I gat nothing but love for you.

And before I get any of those redundant emails... NO, I AM NOT GAY!

Out With The Girls...And Then Some!

Welllllll, today Uju and I went to Funmi's house, so we could hang out with two friends from Boston, Ibitayo and Seun (both females). Funmi said we should be at her house at 3pm, but it was 2:21pm when I went to take a shower (and Uju still hadn't taken a shower by that time). We were at Funmie's house @ or before 4pm, but by the time we left Funmi's house, it was past 5, or maybe almost 6pm.

We went to the Inner Habor in Baltimore, which is a tourist attraction site, and we played some fun games @ ESPN Zone. After that, we walked around downtown Baltimore for a while. By the way, there were nine of us: Me, Uju, Funmi, Jennifer, Ibukun, Ibitayo, Seun, Pelumi (Funmi's brother), and Kola (Funmie's cousin). After that, we went to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Before that, I thought I was hungry, but damn, as soon as I got my plate of food, I got full b4 eating it. Nevertheless, I forced myself to eat it, and while I was eating, I kept telling myself "it's a sin to overeat!", but did that stop me? Nope!

Well, that was pretty much all I did for the day. Thank God I woke up early and did my homework cause right now, I feel so freakin' drunk, and all I had was punch!! Punch oh! Can you believe it? Just punch! So why am I feeling so dizzy? I feel like everything is double... chei! The people @ the all-you-can-eat buffet musta drugged my drink or something cause I feel sooooo tipsy. And I haven't felt this way since.......... well, let's leave that aloone for now.

Anyways, good-nite 4 now, diary.

Gatz 2 go 2 bed

Gat skul 2morrow.

Really Have Nothing 2 Say

I am not updating this diary because I really have something to say, or because I really feel like updating it, but because I feel like I am obligated to do so.

So what's new with me? Well Uju went to see her doctor who told her that I gave her the stomach virus... did I tell you that already? Anyway, my plan to give the virus to Ibukun and Funmi did not work @ all... can you imagine that? Try as I might to spread this generous disease, they both refused to catch it. In fact, hold on a second, I'm gonna call Ibukun to ask her if she has the disease.

*20 seconds later* Well, she did not pick up, but I left her a page; however, I don't think she got it anyways. She woulda called me to curse me out if she got it, but she didn't call, so I know my plan failed.

I really should be writing my book right now, but instead I wanna go read someone else's book: Carl Weber's "So You Call Yourself A Man". Don't you think it's stupid of me to be reading someone else's book, while mine is in limbo? Shouldn't I be worrying and obsessing over my book? It's official: I'm suffering from writer's block, which really isn't a new thing to me; it happens every once in a while, but damn! I wanna finish this book. I need other people to read my book; I need to see my book on the shelves of bookstores all over the world. Is that too big of a dream? Well, I've got to dream big to win big, right?

Oh look.... and I thought I had nothing to say, lol. Oh well, goodnite for now. I will be back tomorrow, by His Grace.

Hmm, I really NEED that laptop!

Is It My House?

This weekend started off great, or at least normal. Uju had (still has) a cold, so she left work early saturday night and came to my house hoping to transmit the cold to me (what a good friend she is, right?). Anyway, she watched some Nigerian movies she brought, and I catered to her to the best of my ability; I fried plantain and made egg-stew for her as she requested and I brought her pillows to be comfortable (what a great friend I am, right? I know!). Yesterday (Sunday) morning however, she started complaining of stomach pain. At first, I thought it was just some minor pain, but she started crying and told me she was feeling nauseous, so I asked her where the pain was and she pointed 2 it. It was xactly where my pain was, so I was like "uh oh"

I gave her the medication I took anyway, and for a brief moment, she seemed to be feelin better (just like it happened 2 me). Next thing I knew, she got up and ran to the bathroom to throw up. She threw up all the plantain she ate the night before (wat a waste of plantain!). After that, she felt better... for a few minutes before the pain came back. She resorted to lying on the bathroom floor and crying... and spittin occasionally...just like I did when I was sick.

I concluded she had the stomach virus like I did... or maybe she had ulcer like I thought I might have had. Anyways, @ a point, she couldn't take d pain anymore, she my mother called 911. They came in less than 10 minutes (I don't think they knew we were black), then they checked her and told her it was probably just a stomach virus that has been going around. They told her to just rest and let the virus run its course.

After that she decided to go home, so I went with her to watch her. I planned on comin home in the night, but I decided to stay, and I am happy (even proud) to say that she is feeling much better today. Thank God!

So I'm wondering... is there something in my house? I mean, why didn't she get the virus before coming to my house? It doesn't make sense, does it? Is it my house? I have 2 bring a pastor 2 bind the virus outta my house... 4 real.

On the plus side, Funmi and Ibukun are coming over my house today, and I hope they both get infected (yes, I said it!). They deserve it (yes, I said it again!). I want them to have it; I wanna see them bend over in pain. Is that an evil plan? Whatever!

Soul Mate In Everything

Yesterday, I went to Walmart with my mother to do some lil shopping; in fact the main reason I went there was to get a new lotion. You see, I have this thing about me; I am always looking for my soul mate in everything: partners, lotion, toothpaste, soap, toothbrush, hair creme, mouthwash, etc...it goes on.

Lately, I have been tryna find my soul mate in lotion, so I went to Walmart's lotion aisle. I had gone there previously a week before, and I tried all the lotions, and I narrowed my "spectrum of possible soulmates" to two lotions: dove & olay.So when I went there yesterday, I had the intention of making my choice bw Olay & Dove. I tried them both; I rubbed them both between my palms, I smelt them, I read the contents on the back, I considered their names (Olay, weighing more). I had Olay on the left side and Dove on my right side, so I stood in the middle of the aisle thinking about what to do. To me, this was a serious decision; I mean, how often does one get to make such a choice?

@ this point, my mother was irritable, so she said "Nne, pick one quick let's leave! I'm sleepy."
And I said, "Mom, don't be in such a hurry. Be patient. Picking this lotion is a life-altering and emotional event for me. You don't xpect me to go pickin any lotion all willy-nilly!"
Well, I could tell from the look in her eyes that she did not find my humor so humorous; if anything, she was ready to forget her hands on my face.

Anyways, finally, I went with Olay.When night came, I could not wait to take a shower! Not because I wanted to, but because I had a new lotion, and I was just dying to use it, so I did. After I rubbed the lotion, it felt so... perfect, and I was thinking to myself "this lotion is too perfect; something has to be wrong with it. It's just a matter of time b4 I figure out what it is". After I got dressed, I sat at my computer, and when I looked at my palms, they had some glitter in them. Crap, the Olay lotion had glitter. I hate glitter!

But there it was, the flaw my lotion undisputably had. At first I sat down there wondering how on earth I was going to deal with a big bottle of lotion that has been infested with glitter, and I could not even begin to fathom it. I could see the glitter on my thighs too, and for a minute, I hated it. But then, when I looked at it later, I liked it. In fact, I fell in love with my Olay.

Now, what't the point of this Olay story? The point is that I want my human soul mate to be the same. I don't want him to be without flaws (not that it's even an option), but I do want to be able to live with (and be happy with) the flaws...just like my Olay lotion. In the same manner, I want to find my soul mate in everything too. You understand what I mean?Well, with that being said, my body deserves some Olay (so I better go hit the showers!)

Lady In Red

Dear Diary,

I am currently doing what I have been trying to do for the past 2 weeks: I'm writing my book... yay! I have not gone far though; I started with page 50. Let's see how far I would go by the end of the day.

I'm listening to a song (Chris De Burgh's Lady In Red), and I am loving it! I have been imagining myself in a red dress, and some handsome, romantic guy telling me some sweet words and following me with his eyes all thru the evening... but I guess I better get a grip, and a huge dose of reality...esp if the guy I'm imagining is Nigerian. While I'm at that, I should get one big order of gurl-what-the-heck-are-you-smoking? that would last me for eternity and then some. Anyhoo, I'm in love with this song. I remember in Nigeria, when I was younger, and I used to dance to this song with my cousin, Ngozi (who is just like an older sista 2 me). So you see, my cravings for love and romance didn't just start today.

A lot of my readers have been asking me for my picture, but I am not yet ready to let anyone see it, however some people have been bent on seeing it come hell or high water.... all the way from Naija oh! Some1 emailed me from Naija and apparently he knows someone that is engaged to some1 that knows me, and he said he is determined to see my picture. Let's see how successful he will be.

Oh, this Lady In Red song sef, it makes me think. It makes me hungry...not for food, but for the love that consumes. Is that possible? Or am I just being creative? I truly wonder if it is possible 2 be so in love that it consumes you. The thought of your significant other just makes you go kuku, and you just have to have him/her. I wonder if it's possible, or if it's just something that an imaginative mind like mine has made up to feed the naïve and gullible hearts like mine. Either way, I still crave it. I dream it. I want it. I can envision it, but then again, I can envision just about anything, so it doesn't really count. I can envision Obasanjo in a mini skirt, tube top, stiletto hills, and a blonde weave, so if I can envision that, anything is possible.

Hmmmmm.... lady in red. You know what I just realised? I need a red dress! Yes, I do. I need a red dress. I need a red dress. Why am I saying it over and over? Maybe if I say it a little more, it will manifes itself in my wardrobe... or what do you think?

Ok, maybe I spoke too soon

I had to wake up @ 5am this morning because I was in pain again. I'm really starting to think there are some stomach demons flying around @ 5am because for the past three days, I have been waking up at five. Ok, a day before yesterday, I woke up @ 6, but what's the difference? Anyways, I was supposed to go to church with my mother, but mennnn, the pain was too much. Before I knew what was going on, I was slumped over in pain and crying. I'm not a cry baby oh! Maybe I cry @ almost all the movies I watch, but I am not a cry baby! Anyways, I couldn't go to Church, so I stayed in my mother's bed (hey! she's still my mommmy! haha)

I'll tell you the truth, while my mother was gone to Church, I kept asking God why he let me be this sick; I asked him if I committed any sin that no1 else has ever committed, but he just gave me the silent treatment. In fact, I think I heard him laughing at me. Anyways, before my mother left, she said I may be suffering from ulcer, so when she left, I opened up my medical dictionary to look up the symptoms, and unfortunately, I do have the symptoms. But you know what saddened me the most? The fact that if I have ulcer, it means I am not supposed to eat spicy foods and fatty foods; ok, I can deal with not eating fatty foods (I shouldn't be eating it anyways), but not eating spicy foods? Oh, Lord! Is that even humanly possible? Do you know how good Funmie's peppery egwusi soup is? What about my future plans to go to Naija and eat all the suya I can? And what about my very tasty, spicy okro (& ogbono) soup? I weep @ the thought of life without spicy food. God, as far as I am concerned, I can report this to the law officials of America; this is a cruel & unusual punishment!

But food aside sha, I have another assignment due tomorrow. I have to read this drama (called 'trifles'), and answer a buncha questions. On the plus side, it seems like an interesting drama. Maybe I should learn how to write drama; well, maybe later. I don't wanna become a jack of all trades and master of none, although I don't mind being the former...without being the latter, of course.

So Diary, I see you have been getting a lot of visitors, huh? Na u oh, biko! One of these days, we will find you a husband on the blog. Just tell me who (abi what) your type is, and I will hook you up.

Anyways, goodnite 4 now. We go yarn tomorrow.

Feelin A Lot Betta

Hi Diary,

I feel a lot better today; I ran to the pharmacist @ Wal-Mart today and asked her if she had any recommendations for my stomach virus, and she recommended a medication, which I am now taking. I am happy to say that I feel better. It's not completely gone, but I do feel better.

I have to share this funny story; one of the wonderful guys that wrote me about my latest article wrote me today (after reading my online diary) to make fun of me for not owning a lap top. He even went further to tell me he was writing from his own lap top. Ha-ha. I found that very funny. Funmie was here too and she laughed her head off. Simi (Folabi Oluwasuyi), if you are reading this, then I guess you were right about one this: I dey yaaap oh! Haha.

Anyways, right now, I'm gonna go offline and join Funmi to watch a Nigerian movie that unfortunately has 3 parts. What is wrong with our Naija people sef? 3 parts? Why now? By His Grace, I would be able to write my book tomorrow (since my computer is working now). Funmie came to visit me today (as per the stomach virus et all), and she brought me yoghurt (cause that's all I've been able to eat without throwing up) and fishroll. Isn't she sweet? She constantly denies it, but abeg, it's quite obvious she's in love with me. And no! She is not gay and neither am I; just thought I should clear that up before I get another email questioning my sexuality (which needs not to be questioned!!)

Nite Diary

Under The Weather

Dear Diary,

Help me thank God oh, cause I have finally fixed my computer. Whew, that was a close one! I had to do a system recovery (again!), then I installed an anti-virus thing, and a spy ware thing, so now, the pc is working perfectly. Now, this is the pc I fell in love with.

I have not been feeling too good; I have been having serious stomach aches, and I have been throwing up too (I think I have a stomach virus...perhaps, I got the trojan virus my pc had, but I doubt it). I have not been really able to hold anything in, and because of that, I've been scared to eat. All I've been eating for the past two days is tea, yoghurt, fruits, water and milk. Yeap, it's basically been a liquid diet for me. By the way, before you start wondering anything, I am NOT pregnant. And if one more person asks me that question........!!!! My bestfriend, Sola, was on the phone with me an hour ago when my stomach ache started again, and she was so scared because of the way I was groaning in pain that she wanted to call 911 for me. Haha. She's so caring. Well, I drank some salt water, and I feel better right now. I hope it does not start again 'cause when it does, it is really distracting.

I still have not started my exam anyways, but I will start it right now cause it's due in about six hours, and I cannot turn it in late. Thank God for online classes sha. I checked my email to find out that I have 34 new mails (just for today oh!), but I don tire sef, so I will read them after I finish my exam cause I doubt if my professor will understand when I tell her that I could not finish my exam because I was replying emails. Well, I will get to it (the emails) soon.

I have thought about sending an automated response to the beautiful people that read my articles, but I just feel like it's too impersonal. I mean, if I take out the time to read someone's piece, and even take out more time to send an email to the author, then I think I would appreciate a real response... abi how you take see am? Anyways, that's by the way.

I've gotta go now. You know I will keep you posted. The way I always refer to you as if you're human, one would think I am really starting to lose my mind. Well, according to Uju, writers are psychos anyway (not that I am saying I am psycho or anything oh!)

Lawd, Have Mercy!!!

Dear Diary,

I have reached my limit with my computer oh. Anybody that knows that computer should better go and warn him or her or it, before I will vex and just wound it beyond recognition.

Yesterday, I checked my mail (after much effort), and the thing said I had 32 new mails, and I thought, it had to be a mistake. I mean, I always get mails and all, but considering how many times I check it each day, I did not expect to be having that many mails at once. Anyways, turns out they were all regarding my new article "All Hail The Inter-Galactic Force Of Girlfriends", and I was truly pleased. In fact, I think I was blushing.

I was perplexed as to why so many guys were emailing me and asking to be introduced to my beautiful friends; some of the men were even specific, as they said "I want the first one...", and I was thinking....what the hell? Is there a picture of me online that I have not seen? Lo and behold, the publisher of Nigeria World put a picture of six black girls next to my article. The publisher also made a mistake and put my location as Canada, so I got a lot of Canadians asking me how the weather in B.C was. At first, I was thinking, 'ah ah, does Baltimore have a new name?', but mba, it was just a mistake on the publisher's part.

Anyways, today, I turned on my computer, and what did I see? It had become worse sef. Hmm, this computer is toying with my emotions. It/he/she obviously doesn't know my true color oh! I am @ my aunt's house right now, and God, her lap top is like a breath of fresh air. I remember just 2 months ago when I was making fun of my aunt's windows 98 that just sat in the basement like a box. The thing no gree do anything oh. Common type sef, e no gree do. But anyways, I am now in the same predicament, but I put my hope in God to perform a miracle before I lose my Blessed mind.

So how have you been? I see that your web counter has increased. I guess we got some admirers visiting us huh? Can you believe that I have been on this lap top since about 4pm? And guess what I've been doing? Yeap, replying mails! I got more mails today from my happy and satisfied readers. Nawa O. I pray God Blesses all of them with their heart desires, and Bless me too (with the lap top I have been fantasizing about). I mean, how can a writer not have a lap top? Tufia kwa!

Anyways, I gotta go off now, and do my exam. Yes, I have a Lit exam that is due at 9pm tomorrow, and I have not even started. Oh well. God dey, jare!

Regarding my article, some of the readers were wondering how come I did not talk of any friends I had before 2000; I guess I can understand where they are coming from sha. Oh well, you know where they are, don't you? Let's let sleeping dogs lie, right? Needless to say, I miss them too, and I have been thinking a lot about them, but that's a different story. Some day, we will all get together again, don't you think?

Bye for now. Gotta check my other email addresses and also check Talk Naija. Man pikin don tire men.

Thoughts....

Sunday Mornin' - New Week

Dear Diary,

I'd like to start by thanking God for allowing me to see yet another week. Then I'd like to say how disappointed I am in myself that I did not reach page 60 (of my book) as I planned to. In fact, I am still on page 49, but you see, this is not entirely my fault...if @ all. That silly computer of mine has been misyarning a lot; it keeps shutting down on it's own, which makes me unable to write confidently (for fear that the computer will shut down and all my data would be lost). Once beaten, twice shy (did I tell you about the first book I was writing that got lost?)

So I've been thinking... you know I do not have a job (don't ask why), but I do have skills however, you know? Funmie asked me yesterday why I don't charge for braiding hair (Yes, I'm good @ braiding hair too...so many Blessings I have right? I know), and I thought to myself "why don't you charge for braiding hair?" Anyways, the verdict now is that I think I will have to call back all my hair customers, so I can make money off them. That way I can buy a lap top and my desktop computer can kiss my laptop-owning behind. Watchu think about that? I know u think it's a good idea too.

I'm @ my aunt's house right now to braid her hair (no, I'm not charging her!), and I have been here since yesterday, and still have not started the hair. Don't ask me why... my aunt is just a funny person; you should meet her, she's absolutely wonderful. Anyways, I am on her lap top and loving every second of it, which is why I am even more determined to get mine. An aspiring writer like myself should own a laptop to herself, don't u think? I think so too! Let's just say laptops are technology's gift to writers... do I hear an Amen? Thank you.

I told you yesterday that I was doing my Lit assigment, and indeed I was, but I am still not done. I have seven pieces to read, and four of them, I have to answer questions to. So far I have read four out of the seven, and have answered two out of the four, so you see, I am making progress. As soon as I send this piece, I will start (or rather continue) with the fifth piece. I gotta say, I feel really Blessed this morning, although (shame on me) I have not even said said hi to His Royal Highness (God). Perhaps, I should do that right now.

Bye 4 now diary. If I have made any errors in my posting, please bear with me. I am a rather fast typer... I think, and I have no desire to proof-read for errors... shey u get?

The Love I Crave

Yesterday, I went on a movie date with my girls, Sola and Funmie...and this other friend, Saheed (a guy) We watched "Madea's Family Reunion" (preview here), and at the end of the movie, we were all in serious tears (except Saheed, of course, unless he was crying and wiping the tears off before we got to see it, but I doubt it). The love that was talked about in the movie just made all us cry...cause none of us were (are) getting it; romantic love, that is. Now maybe the movie may have portrayed love to be better than it really is, but honestly speaking, I seriously doubt it. Sometimes I think of lesbians and I feel like I can understand that one reason for being a lesbian is that no one can understand a woman as much as another woman can, but then, that's not the way God intended for it to be. Adam and Eve, people. Just Adam and Eve.

Now, what kind of love do I want? I want the Adam whose rib God has put in me. Do you get it? I mean, I want the man that completes me (and I don't mean for that to sound like a cliche @ all but that's how I feel). I want that man that will always be mine, no matter when, how or where. I want that man that is mine, and all mine. Mine! That's what I want; I want mine. I need that man that is my other half in the body of a man.

Needless to say, Madea's Family Reunion is a wonderful movie, and I would recommend it to anyone; it's a great movie, and I give Tyler Perry a standing ovation for a wonderful work done. The guy truly is Blessed. Amen to that!

Bye 4 now, Diary. Gotta go read for my Literature class.