You know we as human beings always meet several crossroads in life; we find ourselves in situations where we have 2 make decisions 2 take one road... and only one. Usually, there r things we want on both roads, but life won't b nice enough 2 let us have both, so we end up makin a choice. If we're lucky, the decision is pretty simple and it will not take us less than a second 2 decide, but if we are not lucky, we have 2 weigh and reweigh our options, and even after all the weighing, we still don't know if we made the right decision. We may have 2 go on 4 the rest of our lives wondering "what if I had picked the other road?"
The reason why i am talking about crossroads is because today was a terrible, terrible day 4 me. I wish I could go in2 details, but I would rather not. I don't know if I have eva been so confused in my life. I don't know what the hell I am doing; I don't know what I should be doing or what I should not even be considering. In my case, I seem 2 have 2 many roads 2 go, but the problem is that I can only go on one. No matter what decision I decide 2 make, I would still feel down @ the end of it.
I have been crying all day; my eyes are blood-shot, my head is throbbing and I am sleepy as hell. I only slept for about an hour between yesterday and today. I feel so exhausted and I really wish I could just disappear 2 an island and stay there by myself for a while i recuperate and get my head together...but no such luck 4 me.
It is @ times like this that I wish I had some supernatural power. I wish I could fly myself 2 Heaven or at least summon the presence of His Royal Highness, God 2 my house, so I could ask him some serious questions. Yea, I know God is everywhere, but I want him 2 be physically present, and I wanna look in2 His eyes and ask Him questions. Whatever He says I should do, I will. I honestly would not question His authority for one second.
There r so many things that I wish I could right now, but God knows best anyway. I'm goin 2 bed for now; I will be back tomorrow, I hope.
I'm really, really down, and I feel like if I get up from this chair, I will pass out.
I have an exam tomorrow and I have no idea what 2 expect. I have not even taken the time 2 look at my book. I don't use the f-word, but this is some fucked up shit.
Good nite, diary.
1 comment:
Girl, ur lucky u seem to have a lot of options. Some people don't even have an option. Try not to live in the past. What has no remedy should be treated with out regards."MOVE ON"
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