"Kill Me," Says Babangida

The more I hear and read from or about Babangida, the more pissed off I become. The nerves he has! You'd think that after all the atrocities he committed in Nigeria, he'd be too chicken to even reside in the country, but alas, that is not to be.

I watched a recent video interview of him on CNN, and speaking of the annulment of the 1993 election (you know, the one we all hate him for), he said, "[Nigerians] look back and in retrospect they say 'wait a minute, I think we judged him unfairly; we judged him harshly'" Uhm, excuse me?!?!?! What Nigerians is he talking about???

When asked if he ever apologized to the Nigerians (for annulling the votes of 1993), he said he told the Nigerians that his action was wrong.  And at exactly two minutes and four seconds (2:04) into this video, he said (talking to the Nigerians), "Don't kill anybody. Kill me."

Sooooooo....are you thinking what I'm thinking? 

Disclaimer: The words in quotes are the actual words of Babangida himself. Vera Ezimora does not take responsibility for the acts of anyone due to Babangida's words (or Vera's words  - written or verbal - in response to Babangida's words). In other words, kill (or attempt to kill) Babangida at your own risk.

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The Return [Or Wish To Return] Of IBB

I won't waste a lot of time talking about IBB's desire to become President of Nigeria [again]. I may be wrong, but I think the only reason why he even has the nerve to announce such utter rubbish is because we're in Nigeria. He wouldn't dare it in a nation where democracy actually rules [Or in a nation where juju is as potent as it claims to be]. He'd know better than to waste his time and money on chasing after a shadow. 

The people at Dust Beings have created some interesting flyers. Enjoy.

Could It Be...

...That I, Vera Ezimora, have single-handedly figured out the root and cause of the political strife in Nigeria??  Ah, yes, indeed, it could be.  You see, it all started like the Garden of Eden.  Remember back then, things were perfect, and there was no sin.  (Azazel, jump in anytime and disagree J).  Things were perfect --- until Eve got lured and deceived by Lucifer.  I'm sure we all know that story.  Fast forward to a couple thousand years later, in the newly independent Country of Nigeria.  Things were running well - as they always do in the beginning - until something went terribly, terribly wrong.

You see, our President, Nnamdi Azikiwe hosted a dinner, a dinner where dignitaries, affluent people, and movers and shakers were all present.  Sir Abubakar Tafawa Balewa was there.  Alhaji Shehu Shagari was there.  Obafemi Awolowo was there, too.  The event started off with everyone having a round table discussion.  They talked about Nigeria's way forward, about free healthcare for children, and about coming up with a name for Nigeria's currency.

Things were going well until the actual dinner was served.  It was then that General Johnson Aguiyi and General Yakubu Gowon began to struggle over the food, over who would eat more, and over who would take more takeaway plates home.  General Johnson grabbed most of the takeaway and ran off.  General Yakubu caught up with him, murdered him, and ate all the food.  And that, my people, is how we became so greedy in Nigeria.

Now, if you think that this post has anything to do with the event I attended on Sunday where Nigerians could not happily eat a plate of food each, but had to grab plates on both hands, leaving some other people without food, then, well, I cannot confirm or deny your allegation!  If you further insist that this event took place in a church in Baltimore, Maryland, U.S.A,  I still cannot confirm or deny your allegation.

Tonight Is The Night

In Nigeria, mom owned a Pharmacy, right across our house.  We lived in Jos, about five minutes drive from Aribaba's house, but our house was a lot closer to the Muslims.  The young lady who worked in mom's pharmacy shop, although a Christian, lived in the heart of the Muslim community.  During one of those times when there was tension - but no actual fight - between Christians and Muslims - mom's employee (whose name I cannot remember now) always brought us news.

"Tonight is the night!" She always told us.  They said they're coming this night to kill all the Christians.  And they're starting with all the rich Igbo people here."

We were not rich, but we were certainly Igbo.  Our house was not small.  It would have definitely given the wrong impression [that we were rich].  Behind us, there was a rich Igbo man whom we rarely saw, but who always drove out in a different car - all with tinted windows.  In front of us, a very deaf and very rich man resided.  He, too, was Igbo.  Beside the deaf man, a rich doctor and his wife, both from Delta State resided.  They were not Igbo, but they weren't Muslims either.  Beside us, my uncle's hotel stood strong.  Talk about sitting on a landmine!

So, every night, we went to bed in fear, wondering if it was going to really be the night that the Muslims would attack.  Every time one of our dogs barked, we wondered why: armed robbers, reptiles [we had a lot of those, too], unfamiliar late-night visitors, or Muslims?  We went to bed with knives, mortar pestles, and sharp, metal suya sticks.  We did not have guns, tasers --- or at least, mace.  In retrospect, I can only imagine what little damage our weapons would have done, if any.

Today, Jos has a different story.  The tension between the Christians and the Muslims isn't imagined or just talked about anymore.  It is felt, died for, buried, and mourned.  The good news is that we have our very effective Government. They are ever present to lump all the casualties into one mass grave --- and then, life goes on.

The Government is alive --- or maybe not so alive.  Its wife is ambitious, ready to take over the Country.  When she cannot, she rallies her sons in-law, debating which one of them would succeed the incapacitated Government.  After all, Nigeria is only a little village, a village that hosts 100 to 200 people, plus or minus 50.  A constitution (especially one that is written to be obeyed) is only for Countries, big Countries, Countries that have people, people that have education, education that edifies, informs, and betters.  That wouldn't happen to be Nigeria, would it?

Come Saturday, we would be talking about the State of the Nigerian Union on the Verastically Speakin' Talk Radio.  I'll be co-hosting with Mustapha and Nonso.  You really, really don't want to miss this one.  We'll be talking about Yar'Adua's life (or lack of it), Turai's ambition(s), Jonathan's Acting Presidency, Jos' violence, and the youth's recent rally in Abuja (called, Enough Is Enough).  You can watch a short video of the rally below, courtesy of 234Next.com 

Listen to the show at its usual time, 10am U.S. Eastern (3pm Nigerian time) here.

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Text  or e-mail your response(s): 1.443.934.9039 <<>> radio@verastic.com

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P.S. In case you didn't notice, the blog template has  changed.  Notice the tabs up there?

P.P.S. Daylight Saving Time has started, so there's now a five hour difference between U.S. Eastern Time and Nigerian time = the show will now be at 3pm in Nigeria (no longer 4pm).

P.P.P.S. Verastic now has a fan page on Facebook.  About time, huh?  It was created yesterday.  26 fans is a little lonely.  Please join.

P.P.P.P.S. This would be a really, really good time to vote in the poll --- at the top right sidebar.

Turai Yar'Adua: VANISHED INTO THIN AIR!!!

So, there I was yesterday, checking my Yahoo! e-mail account when I saw a notification from Twitter that a new person was now following me.  Usually, I just delete such mails, but this time, the name caught my attention: Turai Yar'Adua.  Yes, I mean Turai, our President's former President's wife.

Off I went to check her profile out.  It's not everyday that a First Lady former First Lady follows me on Twitter.  Decked out in her outfit and traditional red scarf, she sat in her profile picture, staring me down, daring me to follow her back on Twitter.  I didn't.  I've heard and read too many not-so-flattering stories about her.

She had only one tweet.  It's unfortunate that I didn't copy and paste it for my keeps, but to paraphrase it, she thanked us for our prayers (if only she knew what I actually prayed for), and then, she said they are back (they, who??).  I thought to myself, I've got to blog about this!

Confidently, I returned to my list of Twitter followers.  She was gone!  Turai Yar'Adua was gone.  What did I ever do to make her stop following me?  This has to be the shortest Twitter relationship I have ever had.  So, I went back to my Yahoo! e-mail, and from there, I clicked on her name.  This is what I found:

Strange activity??  These Yar'Aduas!  Like husband, like wife.  Even on Twitter, they vanish.  By my calculation, I shouldn't expect her return to Twitter till another 92 days.  That's not so bad.  She's only the First Lady former First Lady.

But, of course, I'm sure there's a totally logical, rational explanation for this.  I have come to the conclusion that one of the following must have happened:

A.  Turai Yar'Adua is on life support

B.  Turia Yar'Adua's Twitter account is on life support

C.  Both 'A' and 'B'

P.S. If you're planning on telling me how it was not actually Turai herself who opened the Twitter account, but rather an admirer with too much time on his/her hands, my response would be, "Talk to the hands!"