Lies I Believed | Lies I Did Not Believe |
“You’re my one and only” --> I wasn’t. He was actually engaged. It’s a long story. Technically, however, he was not cheating on me. We’re now very good friends. | “I’ll trek to Africa for you” --> Of course, you would. Start trekking. |
“I swear on my mother’s life, I did not get any woman pregnant.” --> He lied. But his mother is still alive. | “I’m going to take you to the promised land” --> I still don’t know if he meant it literally or figuratively. |
“That was my last cigarette. I quit smoking for you.” --> Oh, the good ol’ days when I used to think I could change a man. | “You know you’re actually lucky that I’m into you.” --> Lucky?? I was insulted that he was into me. |
“I’m 33. I’ll be 34 next year.” --> Yeah, more like, I’m 39. I’ll be 40 this year. | “I told my aunt about you. She cannot wait to meet you!” --> Heck, if I care about you and your aunt. Screw you both. |
“I wish I could spoil you.” --> As I’ve come to find out, ‘spoil’ is relative. | “I’m not going to let it go in all the way. I just want the head to go in, that’s all….and I’ll be there for only two seconds.” --> Do I really need to tell you what this conversation was about? |
“We’re just friends.” --> … that occasionally bone each other. | “So many girls like me, but you’re the only one I love.” --> I don’t know which part I doubted more: the part about so many girls liking him, or the part about him loving only me. |
“You’re like a sister to me.” --> I was treated like anything but a sister. | “I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you.” --> That’s what I said to the snail before I cut off its eyes. |
“I’m sorry. I’m a changed man now. Please forgive me.” --> Well, he did change --- for about 48 hours. | “I’m not saying I want to date you. I really just want to be friends.” --> But I said I don’t want to be friends. |
“I’m jealous because I love you.” --> More like I’m envious, bitter, and angry because I am obsessed with you --- and I have a low self esteem to boot. | “I don’t want to have sex with you. I want to make love to you.” --> Oh! Is this the one where you don’t have to enter me at all? |
“I love you.” --> I’ve fallen for this more times than I care to count. | “I love you.” --> But there are those times I just knew they were lies. |
I chose to blog about this now because on Saturday, May 22nd 2010, the topic for discussion on the Verastically Speakin' Talk Radio is "In The Name Of All Things Men." You thought I was going to say, Lies Men Told Me, huh? Well, we'll be talking about issues related to men, and as you can imagine, lies they have told fall right under there. I'll be co-hosting with Aribaba and Bdon, and according to Aribaba, he'll be coming to face the "firing squad."
This may be hard to believe, but there are actually positive things to discuss when we talk about men. Naturally, none of these positive things come to mind right now, but I'm almost completely certain that they do exist J
Join me on Saturday morning (at 10am U.S. Eastern Time/ 3pm Nigerian Time). Let's iron these issues out. Listen here | Call in 1.646.929.1905 | E-mail thoughts,questions, and ideas about this show to radio@verastic.com | Call/text me if you have questions 1.443.934.9039 | Follow me on Twitter | Connect on Facebook.
