The Single Married Man

There are men who are married, but apparently don't know they are married. Or maybe they know, but they don't really care that they are married. I think it's the latter. I'm sure that everyone and their mama has heard about cheating married men. Everyone probably knows at least one cheating married man. I don't know if every woman has been offered the position of mistress in the life of a married man.

A little while ago, I was offered that position. A very young married man offered me the position of mistress in his life. But he was kind enough to say that I should not worry about his wife because I have him (and I guess she doesn't?), that he would let me get married when I'm ready to, and that while he's not rich, he would still take care of me.

I was shocked. It was not the first time I was approached by a married man. It was, however, the first time that a married man clearly stated his marital status and his intentions for me. To further convince me, he told me that no man can stay with one woman because men are naturally polygamous. If God cannot give me a faithful man, then I'd rather be single for the rest of my life. That's what I told him - among other things. I still stand by it.

That said, the Verastically Speakin' Talk Radio resumes its regular schedule this Saturday. Are you excited? It appears I'm a bit nervous. Or maybe just overly excited. I even forgot to put up the weekly poll. Tune in this Saturday at 10am U.S. Eastern (3pm Nigerian Time) to listen to us live. Mustapha will be bringing his A-game on as my honorable co-host. You don't want to miss this.

Listen live here

Time: 10am U.S. Eastern / 3pm Nigerian Time

E-mail: radio@verastic.com

Radio call-in number: 1.646.929.1905

General number: 1.443.934.9039

If you have any questions concerning this show or any future shows, feel free to contact me through any of the means above. If you have a story you'd like to share or a comment you'd like to make, e-mail it before the show to radio@verastic.com

Vera Ezimora on Facebook ||| Vera Ezimora on Twitter

Wanna Know Why Your Man Is Cheating On You?

And no, it has nothing to do with me. Although the idea does tickle me a bit.

It's all about the Oxytocin.  You see, Oxytocin is a hormone that acts primarily as a neurotransmitter in the brain.  However, it's also responsible for some other things.  Oxytocin is released by men and women during orgasm; it induces labor, stimulates the nipples to release milk when the baby sucks on them, and contributes to maternal bonding.  It is Oxytocin's role in maternal bonding that earned it the nickname, Cuddle Hormone.

So, what does all this have to do with men's infidelity? Women, unlike men, secret a lot of Oxytocin, which is why they bond so easily emotionally.  Most of us have been told that men cheat because (in no particular order)

1.  There's a lack of sex at home.

2.  Their wives have let themselves go

3.  They're horrible people with inactive consciences!

Okay, that last one might be slightly true, but for the rest of them, research actually shows that most cheating men do not do it because they don't get enough sex or because they don't find their wives interesting anymore.  On the contrary, research shows that most men cheat because there's a lack of emotional connection with their women.  

Again, where does Oxytocin come in? Well, a lot of times, the fact that they are cheating isn't the biggest problem.  The biggest problem is that they don't feel guilty about it. And even when they do feel guilty, their guilt is not enough to stop them.  Whatever feeling they have for the other woman just overrides every emotion they ever felt for their real women. But if they had some Oxytocin, they would have bonded more with their wives. They would have felt guilty. They would have .... oh, the possibilities!! You get where I'm going with this?

As much as I would just love to take credit for this Oxytocin vs Cheating Men theory, I cannot. I learned of it from the Dr. Oz show. Daytime television is not totally useless.  However, I do have a verastic twist to this: In light of this new discovery - however valid it may be - I suggest that all women mandate their men to take daily shots of Oxytocin.  It wouldn't be any different from transgendered men who take shots of estrogen.

Now, now, I know what you're thinking: But Vera, women have Oxytocin, and they still cheat! To that, I say, "How dare you accuse us of such a despicable act?! We are not capable of such filth."  *** All women now motion to adjust their halos***

P.S. Fri from WeddingNouveau.com has an awesome post about the fashion that has now become the African head wraps. You should check it out.

P.P.S. Verastically Speakin' is one whole year today. We've come a long way from our first show (Dates: Whose Bill Is It Anyway?).  I was so flippin' nervous.  And for today, I'd actually appreciate a few happy-birthday texts, calls, e-mails, Range Rovers ... the works.

P.P.P.S. In case you did not notice, the title of this post speaks in present tense. If your man is really currently cheating on you AND you know about it ... AND he's still your man ---- well, no comments.

P.P.P.P.S. The above statement does not apply to married folks. Married folks are allowed to cheat back. Or better yet, marry a second husband or wife (as opposed to a courtship where you could should just break up).

DISCLAIMER: I hereby release myself from all consequences of anyone following my advise and marrying a second spouse or breaking up with your significant other. You may do any of these at your full discretion, bearing in mind that no matter what you decide to do, your decision does not affect me --- unless, of course, you're going after my husband. My current unmarried marital status has no bearing in this.