Guess Who's On Twitter!

No, not my mom. That would be disastrous.  My mom's baby sister, Aunt SO is on Twitter, and that's almost as disastrous as my mom being on Twitter.  If there's one thing I am always grateful for, it is the sense of humor in both sides of my family. Even when people are not trying to be funny, they're still funny.

Last week, my aunt called me and told me that she has been seeing some things I've been writing on Twitter with the '@' sign. She wanted to know what I had done to her computer to make her able to "see all those things on Twitter." I didn't do anything to her computer, I told her.

I still don't know how she got to it, but I suspect she was prompted by Yahoo! to join her Yahoo! buddy (me) on Twitter. She obliged and ended up on Twitter.  "I don't know what I'm doing," she confessed - not that she needed to confess. It was quite obvious that she did not know what she was doing. "Why are you following me around on the internet?" she asked me. I wasn't following her. In fact, as it came to pass, she was the one following me - literally --- which explained why and how she could "see all those things on Twitter."

She was on the Twitter homepage, and I was trying - unsuccessfully - to tell her what Twitter is for. That was when the spotted the famous Twitter prompt for an update:

To this, my aunt asked  - in quite a defensive tone - "Who are they asking that question?  Why are they asking me what is happening?  What is their business with me?"

Before I could explain that Twitter really means no harm - I hope. Aunt SO went ahead and replied.

As most of you may already know, no matter how many times you tweet (i.e. update your twitter account), it will continue to ask, "What's happening?"

But Aunt SO wouldn't hear of it.  "You see!" She yelled.  "These people are still asking me what is happening. What do they want me to tell them?"

And that was how Aunt SO lived her brief life on Twitter. She is survived by her favorite niece, Vera Ezimora.  Aunt SO will not be missed on Twitter.

For those that aren't already on Twitter, what are you waiting for???  When you do join, follow me.

P.S. Thanks to you, Verastically Livin' won the 'Best Daily Read' award from Nigerian Blog Awards!!! J


P.P.S. Category B of Nigerian Blog Awards is now open for nomination!!  Go ye and nominate me in all the categories.  Yes, precisely, I said all.

A Priest Has Been Reading My Blog!

That said, I know that he will also read this post. But at this point, it cannot possibly get worse.

On Saturday, Mom gave me the phone. She said Father John Doe (not his real name, obviously) was on the phone and wanted to talk to me. He heard my radio show. That automatically made me very uncomfortable. So I spoke to him. He commended me on a job well done, asked me how often I do the show, etc. I was very uncomfortable. I really don't like discussing my blog, articles, and/or radio show with grown folks.

But it got worse. Oh, yes it did. Imagine my discomfort when he talked about the oral sex bit. Whew!! He said I was laughing about it and refusing to take any side [refusing to say if I'm for or against oral sex]. Why on earth did he find that post? Why didn't he find the post about when I rededicated my life to Christ? Or my Thanksgiving post? What about the one where I quoted the bible and said that faith without action is dead? And where I said it's so ironic how God takes care of me all the time. What about when I called God a romantic?

Why, why, WHY did it have to be the one about oral sex?!?!

On that note, I also need to tell Mom to stop helping me spread the gospel of my radio show. Mom knows I do a radio show every Saturday morning. What she doesn't know is how she can listen to it, where she can listen to it, and what the heck it is that I talk about. I intend to keep it that way. Imagine my mother listening to me talking about size. Nooooooo!!! This is one familiarity I don't want to have with my mother. We have already watched glorified porn together. That's good enough.

She told her sister, my favorite aunt - who happens to be a Deeper Life Church-going born again Christian - about my radio show. My aunt bombarded me with questions. I tried my darndest to dodge them like arrows. What is the show about? How do you do it? What do you talk about? Do people hear you? So people call in? So do people ask for your opinion? Who do you do it with? What radio station is it on? It's online? What website is it on? How does it get online? So you have a private conversation with someone and make it public?

Oh, darn!! I don't need this right now.

Well, I told her the website is Blog Radio. She doesn't need to know the rest of the link. I told her we talk about relationships. She doesn't need to know about that episode that addressed the size of certain body parts. I told her a few people call in from Maryland. She doesn't need to know that people call from America and other continents for that matter.

Well, there. That wasn't too hard now, was it?

***Little prayer: May the Holy Ghost Fire destroy every temptation my aunt has to google me. Amen.***

In case you have not heard, the Verastically Speakin' Talk Radio intends to be hot this Saturday! Oh, yes, it will be. Our topic of discussion: What do men want? Seriously, what the heck do they want?! And co-hosting with me is none other than Ekene Agabu. He's a writer and a speaker with a distinct focus on sex and relationships. Oh wee!! Yum, yum!! Click on his name to visit his website. And for the ladies that are wondering, no, I do not know if he's single. Fear not. I'll find out - all for you. You see the hoops I jump for you? Don't say Vera has never done anything for you. Click on the show title to go to its page and set up a reminder. You don't wanna miss this!