Monday, December 07, 2009

My Husband Is Pregnant With My Baby

So I was working on my laptop the other day, not paying any particular attention to what was on the television, until I thought I imagined a voice saying, "My husband is pregnant with my baby..." Naturally, that got my attention.

It turned out I had not imagined it. The voice really did say that her husband was pregnant with her baby. The only thing is that the voice belonged to a male. So it was a male then who said, "My husband is pregnant with my baby..." Wait, huh??? You're probably as confused as I was when I was watching it. Let's start from the beginning. Assume that the person who said, "My husband is pregnant with my baby..." is a female - the wife. Yes, I know I'm confusing you, but let's take it from there:
  • The female and wife [who said her husband was pregnant] used to be a male, but had been transitioning into a female for the past ten years - hence the female-looking parts and gender role switch.
  • The male and husband [who was pregnant] used to be a female, but had been transitioning into a male for the past two and half years - hence the male-looking parts and gender role switch.
  • Sooo... the husband in this household actually used to be a woman. And the wife in this household used to be a man. Are you with me thus far? Good.
How then did the husband [who used to be a woman] end up being pregnant??? Well, easy. The woman [who used to be a man] mistakenly got him [her?] pregnant. I say mistakenly because they didn't know it was possible - considering how much hormones they have consumed. The pregnant husband didn't even know that he [she?] was pregnant until seven months into the pregnancy. He just thought he was gaining weight. The couple plans on breast-feeding the baby. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? WHOSE BREASTS??? .... and CAN I WATCH???

I cannot pretend that I understand what it means to be transgendered. From what I have heard and read, I am grateful that I have never had to, do not now, and by God's grace, will not ever have to be confronted with the dilemma of deciding what sex I want to be. I can say, however, that in all things, God must truly take all the Glory. This couple has done almost everything to not be what God made them. I have no right to judge, of course. But it's very interesting that in spite of this, God has made the man do what men do to women when they enter them: get them pregnant. So Who gets the Glory?

This must be God's way of reminding everyone that He is God - the Alpha and the Omega. The Beginning and the End. He that openeth and no one shuteth; He that shuteth, and no one openeth - literally. I've always known that God has an incredible sense of humor. This is just another living proof.

P.S. The husband is now in labor. You should hear him. He sounds just like a woman. I never thought I'd see the day that a man would have labor contractions, breathe through pursed lips, be dilated, push a baby out, and scream 'Oh, God!' the entire time. Oh, that's right. She isn't a man. But don't tell her I said so.

23 comments:

Giagerry said...

first?

Giagerry said...

is dere anything u wont hear on this side of the world?
kai
i think i watched it too

leggy said...

na wa oh.na dem know sha.

Spesh said...

Wonders shall never seize!

justjoxy said...

Na wah. Don't even know where to start from. You're right though, God sure has a sense of humour.

Enkay said...

Strange things are happening!

ikafali said...

hahahahaah!! its not funny but i can't help myself. This is God telling them to stop playing with his perfect work!!

AliceDCL said...

laughed at loud at this in d office,
so funny,.
guess we shouldnt mess with God

lolly said...

I love how you write.

LucidLilith said...

???

Tolulope Popoola said...

Na wa o, what will I not hear in this world? We human beings and our issues sha. God is very patient with us.

Blessing said...

Oh wow!..God def has a sense of humor o how I love him!!!...lol, ppl sha

Anonymous said...

I really do love His sense of humor!! He lets us think we can run things and then He exposes the foolishness of our ways.

funmie said...

oh wow... i always said it... Americans are MAD pple.... ok maybe not all of them but most of dem.

cici said...

wow vera...to say the truth this post is soooooooooooooo confusing..stop messing with my brain

Vera Ezimora said...

Gee: Congrats on being first! How does it feel? :-) There really isn't anything you wouldn't hear in this part - and all parts - of the world.

Leggy: Indeed. Na really dem wey know.

My World: I know! Especially in this world of ours... hehe.

Justjoxy: Yes, He does. All I could do was laugh and say, 'Father, you're too funny!'

Enkay: Indeed, they are. Sadly, stranger things will happen.

Ikafali: I'm with you on that. What else could possibly be the message here? It's a bad thing that we can't help but laugh at.

BBB: We really shouldn't. When the Man decides to move, no one can stand in His way.

Lolly: Awwwww :-) Thanks, boo. You're making me blush.

Vera Ezimora said...

Lucid Lilith: My sentiments exactly!!!

FluffyCuteThing: Hahahaha. They're now my oyinbo kinsmen ehn? LOL! Onye ala.

Favored Girl: I agree. God is very, very patient with us. If I were God, I would have wiped the whole lot of YOU out. LOL. That's why it's so great that God is not a man.

Blowing Blessings: His sense of humor is INCREDIBLE. All the comedians put together have nothing on Him.

Anonymous: Yes, He does, doesn't He? I think He just likes doing the 'In-your-face!' move to us. LOL.

Funmie: Ehm... like all future rich and famous people, I will now have to distance myself from you and say that your views (about all or most Americans being mad) do not in anyway represent my views! There, I said it. On that note ... goodness... PEOPLE are mad!!!

Cici: LOL. Imagine how I felt watching it. Hahahaha.

Azazel said...

Wow Vera am sorry to say..
I like u o, but u have just committed the worst logical fallacy i've ever seen. So because the person was able to get pregnant, it must be because of God? Now tell me, why would God want a baby to come into such a family? Wow lol I just blogged about the logical fallacies most religious ppl committ daily. WOW

chayomao said...

What am i suppose to say in such a situation?
i mean ,words fail me.
How do u explain to the baby later on that daddy carried you in "his" tummy for 9months and brought u into this world becuz daddy is actually mummy but looks like a daddy???
*confused face*

Feddie Girl said...

Funny as hell, and totally messed up. Hahahaha...

Olufunke said...

Strange
God will deliver us.

Myne said...

I think this is their second baby abi?

Remi, United Kingdom said...

This post eh? odikwa very confusing! lol...

... and yes, God does have a tremendous sense of humour oh.. kai!

Me I just want to know how they will explain themselves when God asks, " so my child, I made you a woman or man, which part of my creating you did you really think was a mistake?"

nah wah sha..

How are u doing girl?

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