Lady In Red

Dear Diary,

I am currently doing what I have been trying to do for the past 2 weeks: I'm writing my book... yay! I have not gone far though; I started with page 50. Let's see how far I would go by the end of the day.

I'm listening to a song (Chris De Burgh's Lady In Red), and I am loving it! I have been imagining myself in a red dress, and some handsome, romantic guy telling me some sweet words and following me with his eyes all thru the evening... but I guess I better get a grip, and a huge dose of reality...esp if the guy I'm imagining is Nigerian. While I'm at that, I should get one big order of gurl-what-the-heck-are-you-smoking? that would last me for eternity and then some. Anyhoo, I'm in love with this song. I remember in Nigeria, when I was younger, and I used to dance to this song with my cousin, Ngozi (who is just like an older sista 2 me). So you see, my cravings for love and romance didn't just start today.

A lot of my readers have been asking me for my picture, but I am not yet ready to let anyone see it, however some people have been bent on seeing it come hell or high water.... all the way from Naija oh! Some1 emailed me from Naija and apparently he knows someone that is engaged to some1 that knows me, and he said he is determined to see my picture. Let's see how successful he will be.

Oh, this Lady In Red song sef, it makes me think. It makes me hungry...not for food, but for the love that consumes. Is that possible? Or am I just being creative? I truly wonder if it is possible 2 be so in love that it consumes you. The thought of your significant other just makes you go kuku, and you just have to have him/her. I wonder if it's possible, or if it's just something that an imaginative mind like mine has made up to feed the naïve and gullible hearts like mine. Either way, I still crave it. I dream it. I want it. I can envision it, but then again, I can envision just about anything, so it doesn't really count. I can envision Obasanjo in a mini skirt, tube top, stiletto hills, and a blonde weave, so if I can envision that, anything is possible.

Hmmmmm.... lady in red. You know what I just realised? I need a red dress! Yes, I do. I need a red dress. I need a red dress. Why am I saying it over and over? Maybe if I say it a little more, it will manifes itself in my wardrobe... or what do you think?

Ok, maybe I spoke too soon

I had to wake up @ 5am this morning because I was in pain again. I'm really starting to think there are some stomach demons flying around @ 5am because for the past three days, I have been waking up at five. Ok, a day before yesterday, I woke up @ 6, but what's the difference? Anyways, I was supposed to go to church with my mother, but mennnn, the pain was too much. Before I knew what was going on, I was slumped over in pain and crying. I'm not a cry baby oh! Maybe I cry @ almost all the movies I watch, but I am not a cry baby! Anyways, I couldn't go to Church, so I stayed in my mother's bed (hey! she's still my mommmy! haha)

I'll tell you the truth, while my mother was gone to Church, I kept asking God why he let me be this sick; I asked him if I committed any sin that no1 else has ever committed, but he just gave me the silent treatment. In fact, I think I heard him laughing at me. Anyways, before my mother left, she said I may be suffering from ulcer, so when she left, I opened up my medical dictionary to look up the symptoms, and unfortunately, I do have the symptoms. But you know what saddened me the most? The fact that if I have ulcer, it means I am not supposed to eat spicy foods and fatty foods; ok, I can deal with not eating fatty foods (I shouldn't be eating it anyways), but not eating spicy foods? Oh, Lord! Is that even humanly possible? Do you know how good Funmie's peppery egwusi soup is? What about my future plans to go to Naija and eat all the suya I can? And what about my very tasty, spicy okro (& ogbono) soup? I weep @ the thought of life without spicy food. God, as far as I am concerned, I can report this to the law officials of America; this is a cruel & unusual punishment!

But food aside sha, I have another assignment due tomorrow. I have to read this drama (called 'trifles'), and answer a buncha questions. On the plus side, it seems like an interesting drama. Maybe I should learn how to write drama; well, maybe later. I don't wanna become a jack of all trades and master of none, although I don't mind being the former...without being the latter, of course.

So Diary, I see you have been getting a lot of visitors, huh? Na u oh, biko! One of these days, we will find you a husband on the blog. Just tell me who (abi what) your type is, and I will hook you up.

Anyways, goodnite 4 now. We go yarn tomorrow.

Feelin A Lot Betta

Hi Diary,

I feel a lot better today; I ran to the pharmacist @ Wal-Mart today and asked her if she had any recommendations for my stomach virus, and she recommended a medication, which I am now taking. I am happy to say that I feel better. It's not completely gone, but I do feel better.

I have to share this funny story; one of the wonderful guys that wrote me about my latest article wrote me today (after reading my online diary) to make fun of me for not owning a lap top. He even went further to tell me he was writing from his own lap top. Ha-ha. I found that very funny. Funmie was here too and she laughed her head off. Simi (Folabi Oluwasuyi), if you are reading this, then I guess you were right about one this: I dey yaaap oh! Haha.

Anyways, right now, I'm gonna go offline and join Funmi to watch a Nigerian movie that unfortunately has 3 parts. What is wrong with our Naija people sef? 3 parts? Why now? By His Grace, I would be able to write my book tomorrow (since my computer is working now). Funmie came to visit me today (as per the stomach virus et all), and she brought me yoghurt (cause that's all I've been able to eat without throwing up) and fishroll. Isn't she sweet? She constantly denies it, but abeg, it's quite obvious she's in love with me. And no! She is not gay and neither am I; just thought I should clear that up before I get another email questioning my sexuality (which needs not to be questioned!!)

Nite Diary

Under The Weather

Dear Diary,

Help me thank God oh, cause I have finally fixed my computer. Whew, that was a close one! I had to do a system recovery (again!), then I installed an anti-virus thing, and a spy ware thing, so now, the pc is working perfectly. Now, this is the pc I fell in love with.

I have not been feeling too good; I have been having serious stomach aches, and I have been throwing up too (I think I have a stomach virus...perhaps, I got the trojan virus my pc had, but I doubt it). I have not been really able to hold anything in, and because of that, I've been scared to eat. All I've been eating for the past two days is tea, yoghurt, fruits, water and milk. Yeap, it's basically been a liquid diet for me. By the way, before you start wondering anything, I am NOT pregnant. And if one more person asks me that question........!!!! My bestfriend, Sola, was on the phone with me an hour ago when my stomach ache started again, and she was so scared because of the way I was groaning in pain that she wanted to call 911 for me. Haha. She's so caring. Well, I drank some salt water, and I feel better right now. I hope it does not start again 'cause when it does, it is really distracting.

I still have not started my exam anyways, but I will start it right now cause it's due in about six hours, and I cannot turn it in late. Thank God for online classes sha. I checked my email to find out that I have 34 new mails (just for today oh!), but I don tire sef, so I will read them after I finish my exam cause I doubt if my professor will understand when I tell her that I could not finish my exam because I was replying emails. Well, I will get to it (the emails) soon.

I have thought about sending an automated response to the beautiful people that read my articles, but I just feel like it's too impersonal. I mean, if I take out the time to read someone's piece, and even take out more time to send an email to the author, then I think I would appreciate a real response... abi how you take see am? Anyways, that's by the way.

I've gotta go now. You know I will keep you posted. The way I always refer to you as if you're human, one would think I am really starting to lose my mind. Well, according to Uju, writers are psychos anyway (not that I am saying I am psycho or anything oh!)

Lawd, Have Mercy!!!

Dear Diary,

I have reached my limit with my computer oh. Anybody that knows that computer should better go and warn him or her or it, before I will vex and just wound it beyond recognition.

Yesterday, I checked my mail (after much effort), and the thing said I had 32 new mails, and I thought, it had to be a mistake. I mean, I always get mails and all, but considering how many times I check it each day, I did not expect to be having that many mails at once. Anyways, turns out they were all regarding my new article "All Hail The Inter-Galactic Force Of Girlfriends", and I was truly pleased. In fact, I think I was blushing.

I was perplexed as to why so many guys were emailing me and asking to be introduced to my beautiful friends; some of the men were even specific, as they said "I want the first one...", and I was thinking....what the hell? Is there a picture of me online that I have not seen? Lo and behold, the publisher of Nigeria World put a picture of six black girls next to my article. The publisher also made a mistake and put my location as Canada, so I got a lot of Canadians asking me how the weather in B.C was. At first, I was thinking, 'ah ah, does Baltimore have a new name?', but mba, it was just a mistake on the publisher's part.

Anyways, today, I turned on my computer, and what did I see? It had become worse sef. Hmm, this computer is toying with my emotions. It/he/she obviously doesn't know my true color oh! I am @ my aunt's house right now, and God, her lap top is like a breath of fresh air. I remember just 2 months ago when I was making fun of my aunt's windows 98 that just sat in the basement like a box. The thing no gree do anything oh. Common type sef, e no gree do. But anyways, I am now in the same predicament, but I put my hope in God to perform a miracle before I lose my Blessed mind.

So how have you been? I see that your web counter has increased. I guess we got some admirers visiting us huh? Can you believe that I have been on this lap top since about 4pm? And guess what I've been doing? Yeap, replying mails! I got more mails today from my happy and satisfied readers. Nawa O. I pray God Blesses all of them with their heart desires, and Bless me too (with the lap top I have been fantasizing about). I mean, how can a writer not have a lap top? Tufia kwa!

Anyways, I gotta go off now, and do my exam. Yes, I have a Lit exam that is due at 9pm tomorrow, and I have not even started. Oh well. God dey, jare!

Regarding my article, some of the readers were wondering how come I did not talk of any friends I had before 2000; I guess I can understand where they are coming from sha. Oh well, you know where they are, don't you? Let's let sleeping dogs lie, right? Needless to say, I miss them too, and I have been thinking a lot about them, but that's a different story. Some day, we will all get together again, don't you think?

Bye for now. Gotta check my other email addresses and also check Talk Naija. Man pikin don tire men.

Thoughts....

Sunday Mornin' - New Week

Dear Diary,

I'd like to start by thanking God for allowing me to see yet another week. Then I'd like to say how disappointed I am in myself that I did not reach page 60 (of my book) as I planned to. In fact, I am still on page 49, but you see, this is not entirely my fault...if @ all. That silly computer of mine has been misyarning a lot; it keeps shutting down on it's own, which makes me unable to write confidently (for fear that the computer will shut down and all my data would be lost). Once beaten, twice shy (did I tell you about the first book I was writing that got lost?)

So I've been thinking... you know I do not have a job (don't ask why), but I do have skills however, you know? Funmie asked me yesterday why I don't charge for braiding hair (Yes, I'm good @ braiding hair too...so many Blessings I have right? I know), and I thought to myself "why don't you charge for braiding hair?" Anyways, the verdict now is that I think I will have to call back all my hair customers, so I can make money off them. That way I can buy a lap top and my desktop computer can kiss my laptop-owning behind. Watchu think about that? I know u think it's a good idea too.

I'm @ my aunt's house right now to braid her hair (no, I'm not charging her!), and I have been here since yesterday, and still have not started the hair. Don't ask me why... my aunt is just a funny person; you should meet her, she's absolutely wonderful. Anyways, I am on her lap top and loving every second of it, which is why I am even more determined to get mine. An aspiring writer like myself should own a laptop to herself, don't u think? I think so too! Let's just say laptops are technology's gift to writers... do I hear an Amen? Thank you.

I told you yesterday that I was doing my Lit assigment, and indeed I was, but I am still not done. I have seven pieces to read, and four of them, I have to answer questions to. So far I have read four out of the seven, and have answered two out of the four, so you see, I am making progress. As soon as I send this piece, I will start (or rather continue) with the fifth piece. I gotta say, I feel really Blessed this morning, although (shame on me) I have not even said said hi to His Royal Highness (God). Perhaps, I should do that right now.

Bye 4 now diary. If I have made any errors in my posting, please bear with me. I am a rather fast typer... I think, and I have no desire to proof-read for errors... shey u get?

The Love I Crave

Yesterday, I went on a movie date with my girls, Sola and Funmie...and this other friend, Saheed (a guy) We watched "Madea's Family Reunion" (preview here), and at the end of the movie, we were all in serious tears (except Saheed, of course, unless he was crying and wiping the tears off before we got to see it, but I doubt it). The love that was talked about in the movie just made all us cry...cause none of us were (are) getting it; romantic love, that is. Now maybe the movie may have portrayed love to be better than it really is, but honestly speaking, I seriously doubt it. Sometimes I think of lesbians and I feel like I can understand that one reason for being a lesbian is that no one can understand a woman as much as another woman can, but then, that's not the way God intended for it to be. Adam and Eve, people. Just Adam and Eve.

Now, what kind of love do I want? I want the Adam whose rib God has put in me. Do you get it? I mean, I want the man that completes me (and I don't mean for that to sound like a cliche @ all but that's how I feel). I want that man that will always be mine, no matter when, how or where. I want that man that is mine, and all mine. Mine! That's what I want; I want mine. I need that man that is my other half in the body of a man.

Needless to say, Madea's Family Reunion is a wonderful movie, and I would recommend it to anyone; it's a great movie, and I give Tyler Perry a standing ovation for a wonderful work done. The guy truly is Blessed. Amen to that!

Bye 4 now, Diary. Gotta go read for my Literature class.

Infected With A Virus

Easy now! I am not the one with the viral infection; my dear computer is. This is the 2nd time too! As of this afternoon, it was infected with a virus called Trojan. How ironic is that? One would think that trojan would offer protection, and not compromise it! Well, that's life, I guess. Anyways, it's all been taken care of; everything on the computer had to be wiped off, so now I'm re-installing everything. I am really tired, not from the installing but just generally tired. I need 2 go 2 bed. Uju is here with me, and she has already fallen asleep on the couch; the poor gal can't get enough of me... but then again, who can?

B4 u ask, lemme tell you that I did not write my book today, but you can bet that I will do so tomorrow. I am still on page 49, so by the Grace of God, I will be on 60 (@ least) by friday. I don't wanna impost any huge thing on myself; I wanna start small... u know?

G'Nite Diary

This Life Of Mine...

Dear Diary,

Once again, I have noticed that the list of people who actually have my best interest in their heart is rapidly decreasing. I don't know what to think about it, or how to feel about it. I mean, should I be happy that I at least found out, or should I be sad about this gruesome discovery? Well, I have chosen to be happy about it.

What happens when all odds are against you? Or rather, when it seems like all odds are against you? I guess you have to become even! I am on the phone with m bestfriend, Sola right now, and I am sharing an intimate detail of my life with her, and as always, she is making me feel better. She has just reminded me that when God closes one door, he opens another. That much is true. The only problem is that I can't seem to find this alleged new door; okay, maybe I should not call the door "alleged"...as this might anger God.... or don't you think so?

Some days, like today, I wonder what love has to do with anything; I'm talking about romantic love, by the way. I know what love does; all it does it blind you from seeing things logically; it makes you a damn fool, and I do not now, nor ever wanna be anyone's fool. Seriously speaking, what the hell does love have to do with anything? Nothing!

Before I start sounding like a bitter old hag (which I am not!), I would like 2 change the subject: can you believe that I did not write my book all through this weekend? That's a damn shame, ain't it? Well, I would definitely do some writing today.... right after I finish my Literature assigment... and my Chemistry too... and watching Girlfriends... and watching Sex And The City... and..... oh hell! Chances are, I might not be able 2 write today, but let's hope for the best sha. Until then....

Chao Baby! (Ha-ha, I've alwayz wanted 2 say that)

Oh My (For Lack Of A Better Title)

Dear Diary,

I am ashamed to admit this, but I did not write my book yesterday, and neither did I today. But I have an excuse for today: I was cleaning (saturday cleaning) and after that I started my Literature assignment. It's due on monday, and I have three stories to read and answer questions on, but I have only completed one. Excuse for yesterday? Urh, it was Friday, and I was tired. Good enough? With all the time I had today, I'm supposed to be done with my assignment by now, but this spirit of procastination that dwelleth in me will not let me be. I am a lot better now than I was before though; I mean usually, I would start the assigment on the day it's due. Don't get it twisted; I don't do a shitty job...I just do it @ the last minute.

Sometimes I wish I could be one of those students that do their assignments days, months, or hell, even years before the due date, but please! let's face facts... I am 100% Ezimoran and history shows that we are not capable of doing things when they are not in the last minute, although I must point out that I am a lot better than my father (whom I miss very very much). You can check out my article, The Beauty Of African Time to understand me better.

Anyways, I'm cooking the water out of the tomato, so I can cook some stew with it. And I will be starting on the chicken soon too. Uju will be here anytime soon for our movie date. Before you go having any wild ideas... allow me to stop your wandering mind. We have a Nigerian movie (Women's Cot) to watch. I think it's pretty cool, and it's starring good actresses like Joke Silver, Onyeka Onwenu, and a whole bunch of other people.

G'Nite Diary!

This "Friend" Word Sef...

As I get older (not that I'm not old right now), I realize that things are not really the way they seem, or the way we may want them to be. For example, I am one that is always calling almost everyone my friend. However, lately I have noticed that the test of friendship has been coming up in my life a lotta times. I mean, expecting this "friend" to be there and help out, but this all of a sudden, you realize that this friend isn't such a friend. Anyways, it's all good. So now, I realize that my friends are truly numbered. A lot of people that I call friends are only gonna be there in good times when all is all good, but only a few will be there through the bad times too. Nawa o. I mean, this is something that we all know from the start, but we all usually like to think that all the friends we have are the very best of friends from the friends network, but my dear, not all that glitters is gold. Well, I am still writing my book, and I am currently on page 48. Wish me the very best of luck that I am able to complete this book by March 31st. Oh God, be on my side, please. Amen. Good nite dear diary. I wanna do some writing b4 I retire for the night.

Update....

I have not been on this site for a while... shame on me. I keep saying I will do it tomorrow, but when tomorrow comes, I don't do anything. Not to worry, all that is about to change; in fact, it has already changed. It may please you to know that I have already started writing my book again.... thank God! I need to finish this book as soon as possible. My intention was to finish it on/by the 28th of this month (Feb), but as of now, I know that will not really be possible. Right now, I'm on page 42, but by His Grace, I will finish it by the 31st of March 2006. That would mean it will take me 3 months to finish it (since I started on the 20th of Dec 2005). Just pray 4 me sha, cause I really wanna finish this book; by the way, the name is "Bottomless Pit".... well, that's the name for now. I guess you could say it's tentative, cause I might have to change it.... depending on what my publisher thinks. Oh, and in case you're wondering, no, I do not have a publisher... yet, but God will take care of that, so I have nothing to worry about.

Kold Sunday

I'm snowed in today, though yesterday I was outside under the harsh weather. It was pretty much a regular day except for the fact that I think I am coming down with a cold today; no scratcht that, I KNOW I am coming down with a cold. I've been sneezing and my throat has been itching; that's always how my cold starts. That's just great! I thought this is one winter that I would not have to go thru this, but lo and behold, I have been proven wrong. Oh well, I guess my only choice is to go to bed and wake up to a higher dimension of my damn cold. It's possible that I might have gotten it from being out in the snow for so long yesterday, but then again, Uju spent the night at my house, on my bed, right next to me (easy people... don't get any bright ideas). The point is that I just spoke 2 Uju and she's sneezing too, so I wonder who gave it to who. Well, @ this point, it doesn't even matter; we both have it. Anywayz, I've gat things 2 do (like drinking a hot cup of tea), so good nite diary. Have a wonderful nite.

Snowy Day

My grandma had her surgery yesterday (for the kidney stones) and it was successful (thank God for that miracle). Today, I had to watch my four yr old cousin (again!) because my grandma wasn't strong enough. Under the snow, I engaged in a 40 minute drive to school to buy a textbook, but I was stupid enough not to call first to make sure the bookstore was open. Anyways, by the time I got there, Toby had fallen asleep in the car, and I had to carry him for the long walk to the bookstore...under the snow! (just to realize that it was closed arrrggghhh). Anywayz, after that, we made a few more errands then we went home. Uju came over (against my will) and stayed the whole day. For whatever reason, Toby fell in love with her, and they chased each other like cat and mouse. Toby played so much that he cut his bog toe; I don't know when, how, or where he cut himself, but all I saw was a lot of blood on the comforter he was sitting on. I did a wonderful job at cleaning it off and applying pressure on it to stop the bleeding. My aunt (Toby's mom) soon came in with my other aunt to pick Toby out... so I had one less baby to take care of (i.e. Uju). It has been a long day, but I am glad it's over cause right now, I am ready to hit the sack (after cleaning up the kitchen, of course). I think things may be looking brighter for me, but I don't wanna get too excited just yet. I'm just gonna hope for the best and I believe God will come thru for me; he always do.

Lunch With The Gurls

Today, my bestfriend Sola dragged me to the mall to look for something great for her wonderful boyfriend, Frank (whom I consider my future bestfriend in-law) for Valentine. We tried ordering something online yesterday, but it was a total waste of my time, so today she dragged me to the mall due to my never failing romantic ideas....God, I'm good (if I do say so myself). Anyways, after shopping around for what seemed like forever, we finally got something great for Frank. After that, we met Funmi and Uju for a late lunch/early dinner at our favorite chinese restaurant. We ate and talked and talked and talked.... about Naija men and their inability to "act right". There were some white people there and from the way they were looking at us, you could tell they were not very pleased by our noise... or maybe our accents, or maybe both, but who cares? The food was great, and I had what I always have: beef fried rice, extra spicy, and no onions. That's what I always have. I have the same meal at the same restaurant. I don't eat it anywhere else and I don't eat it any other way. We talked about Valentine's Day and discussed our plans for the day, and so far, Sola is the only one who has plans with Frank. Funmi and Uju do not have any concrete plans yet, but I intend to do what I did last year: sleep (unless of course a miracle occurs). So my dear Diary, do you have plans for Valentine? Perhaps a date with another blog? Well, just lemme know ahead of time, okay? Good nite for now; I've got school tomorrow. Geez....Valentine sucks when...... well, you know.

Rugrats' Day

I went to bed @ 2am this morning because I had every plan of sleeping in. Come 6am, my mother woke me up and told me my grand ma had been rushed to the hospital and that I had to take care of the rugrats she was supposed to be babysitting. When I got to my grandma's house, my little cousin wasn't going to school, so I was stuck with three rugrats: my four yr old cousin, a one and half year old boy, and a 10 month old girl. Let's just say that I would definitely be thinking twice before having kids. Those kids wore me out so much that at a point, I just felt like crying. Seriously, I was close to tears. The 10 month old baby girl must have pulled out half of my hair. By the time I left, my hair was looking like Ayamatanga (the witch in that Naija movie). I'm finally home, and I am exhausted. To make it worse, I have to go to school tomorrow.... dammit! It's all good. I pray I would make it somehow sha. As 4 now, I wanna go clean up the kitchen before going to bed. If I go to bed without washing all the dishes, I would wake up in the middle of the night and continue. Anyways, I guess we'll be meeting again tomorrow, right? Bye diary. Have a wonderful nite. Hey, do you have any plans for Valentine? I don't have any yet. Who knows, I just might be receiving Roses from boo, but I'm gonna do myself a favor and not expect anything. That way, I would not be disappointed.

Naija Men & Romance

Every1 and their mama already know how much I admire Igbo men. Why? Because I hardly see/meet them. Igbo men (for me) are scarcer than 50 kobo koins, but when they become as rampant as 1000 naira notes, then I'll probably change my views about them. Shey you get? Anyways, my friend Funmie called me and told me about her Yoruba friend in Boston (let's call her miss Y) who is dating an Igbo guy. The story is that they had a fight (which was the girl's fault) and after that, they did not talk for three days. He (the Igbo boyfriend) took it upon himself to go to Miss Y's school with flowers. As if that's not enough, he blindfolded her and took her to a hotel with rose petals on the bed, on the floor, and in the bath tub. I don't need to tell you how the night ended. So you see, situations like this one leaves a girl (me) wondering nothing other than..... why the hell is he dating her and not me?! Haha. Ok seriously, it leaves me puzzled... or maybe shocked @ the fact that there is such a romantic Nigerian guy on this Planet Earth that I live on. I was starting to think that maybe I lost my residential space on Mars (where the rest of the men are). In my entire dash-dash years of life, I have NEVER met a Naija man as romantic as the one I just told you about. I love roses...or at least flowers in general, but in my entire life, I have received flowers twice... from the same person (and he wasn't even my boyfriend). Ain't that a shame? Damn skippy, it is! I'm definitely gonna have to write an article about this issue.

A Date @ ToysRus

Lesson learned: don't take a four year old to ToysRUs and expect not to come back with a throbbing headache. Ok, gat it! Today, I followed my mom to her sister's house to pick up her [sister's] son... AKA my cousin, Toby. We took him to ToysRUS to go buy him his birthday gift (his birthday was on Jan 14th...same as mine), but I did not plan for what I got. How was I supposed to know he would stop at every corner and want to take practically everything home? How was I supposed to know he would insist that Super Man appeared on everything? How was I supposed to know? Remind me to think twice before having kids. To top it off, he wanted everything from ice cream (though we are in the heart of the winter season), cheetos (some orange curly things), pop corn, candy, cookies, waffles (though he has a whole box @ home), wafers, and a whole buncha things that I cannot even remember. Bottom line: do NOT have kids until you are absolutely ready to. Forget what your husband thinks; you're the one who will carry the baby. Don't remind me of when my aunt went to Nigeria and left him in the care of me and my mom. He was only 11 months then. Let's just say that constantly pulling a child out of the cupboard isn't fun. Let's not forget about going down stairs and stepping on potatoes and onions cause he thought they were balls and fun to throw down stairs. Hmmmmm. I guess no matter how hard it is, it's still all worth it. But I maintain my stand sha: women, make sure you are absolutely ready to have kids before you do. If your husband can't wait, then let him get pregnant himself.

Good nite diary. Uju is spending the nite in my house today and she's here already. Gotta go watch that mischievious gal... u never know what mischief she has up her sleeves. Nite nite!

This Is Me Being Anal

I promised I would tell you some of the anal things I do (call them pet peeves if you like), so here goes...

• I wash meat till there is almost no blood. This is fine when I'm not in a hurry and I have all day (which is IMpossible), but not when I have a room full of hungry people. Let's just say I've been banned from washing meat when other people are involved.
• I hate it when people wash their hands in the kitchen sink... with dishes in it. Eww! I don't care if it's just a fork; take your dirty ass hands 2 the bathroom!
• I hate it when people move things and don't keep them back EXACTLY the way I left them
• I hate it when people chew with their mouths open
• All my clothes have to face one direction, and they ALL have to be organized in order of season... fall, winter, summer & fall.
• One spoon CANNOT go into two pots.... NEVER!
• Flossers are in! Any day, any time.
• There absolutely CANNOT be any hair on the floor, or in the sink or anywhere if it's not on ur body
• Soup plates are strictly for soup; not rice and definitely not fufu (Funmie, take note please)
• Short forks are strictly for salad
• Teaspoons are strictly for tea
• Chewing gum while talking to me on the phone is an absolute NO NO!
• Pulling my comforter or blanket off my bed is out of bounds
• Putting your ass on my pillow (the one I would put my head on) is damn crazy
• Coming into the house and heading straight for the fridge (without thoroughly washing your hands) is a crime that is punishable by me
• Speaking of washing hands, please use soap and do NOT wipe your hands on my towel. That's what the paper towel is for.
• Changing anything that belongs to me without my permission will result in me being bitch for a full 24 hours
• Eating and leaving reminants (like a grain of rice) on the floor or table is a questionable character (Funmie take note please)
• Eating and leaving the plate (with the chicken bones in it) on the cooker as if you have a maid to take care of it is also out of the question (Ibukun, please take note)

Naked Morning

Since this winter started, I have been obsessed with going to bed fully clothed; i mean t-shirt, sweat pants, sweat shirt and socks. In fact, I'm surprised I don't wear gloves to bed too... well, any day now. Anywayz, last night was no different; I mean with the clothing, but I woke up this morning without my clothes. Any1 have any idea how this may have happened? I know I went to bed fully clothed, but I don't know how or when my clothes came off. Don't get any bright ideas... I slept @ home alone. I woke up with my socks sha, so I guess all hope is not lost.

Since this winter started, I have been obsessed with wearing socks to bed. At first, I did it because it was cold, but now I do it because I feel like I have to. If I go 2 bed without my socks, I would wake up in the middle of the night and put them on. This behavior isn't much different from my regular life everyday. My friends think I'm an undiagnosed obsessive compulsive clean freak, but I think I'm just an anal occasionally-disorganized but neat woman being.....in a good way, if I do say so myself. I will be back to tell you more about my anal ways.

Good nite diary. Unlike you, I've gat skool 2morrow.