First of all, I’m soooo glad to be back! Second of all, I cannot thank God enough for that evil class being over…whew! Finally, I missed you all!!
As you all know, my love, Busola is getting married in three months time. And I’m pretty sure I have filled you in on the most important part of the day: I am the maid of honor! I plan on cascading down the steps of the banquet hall in a cat-like gracefulness…that’s of course, if they have steps. If they do not have steps, I guess I could just kinda walk in on air. Either way, I’ll be the envy of every woman (including the bride) and the desire of every man – including the groom. But that’s by the way. Sure, some of you might argue that this day is about Busola, the bride, but what do you know anyway?
After the wedding come the kids, right? It is for this reason that I, the first self-appointed maid of honor in history have also self-appointed myself as the god-mother to Busola’s unborn daughter (no, she is not yet pregnant, but I am just making future plans). It is imperative to note that Busola has promised to name her first daughter after me … how sweet, right? Well, it is sweet, but frankly, I am not satisfied. Why stop at giving the child my first name? Why not also give her my last name, Ezimora? I have not run the idea by Busola, but I already know her answer, “Vera, you are high!”
Another issue about this whole god-parenting thing worries me: what if the second daughter turns out to be cuter that the first daughter? As the smart genius that I am, I have made the best proposal ever to Busola: if the second daughter turns out to be prettier than the first daughter (my future god-daughter), I will return the first daughter for an even exchange of the second daughter? Since both kids would both be from the same parents (unless Busola plans on getting pregnant for another man while married to her husband *coughs*), they (the kids) are worth the same. Therefore, I should not be denied the right and opportunity to exchange the child at any given point in time. Busola’s failure to let me do so would result in her being sued to court for ‘refusal to have child exchanged’. So far, Busola’s response to this proposal has been, “Vera, you are high!” and “Can I get pregnant first?”
So my people, tell me, where have I gone wrong? As a future totally-hot, totally-cool god-mother, do I not owe it to myself to ‘acquire’ the best child I can? Keep in mind that even though I have self-appointed myself as the future god-mother, I am really doing Busola a favor because soooo many people are knocking my door down to get me as a god-mother, but I turned them all away for Busola. Sure, you might not know who these people are (even I, do not know who they are…yet), but does that mean they do not exist?
Well, I believe I have come to the end of my rant. When you’re leaving a comment, please encourage Busola to let me have my way. You can call it a petition, if you please. Just convince her that I am right and she is wrong!
Oh, and did I mention how good it is to be back???