Let's Go There ... Again!!!

It's that time of the year again. The Nigerian Blog Award is bizzzzack!!  Before I tell you why I deserve to win, I just want to thank everyone who nominated me. I am very, very grateful --- especially seeing as I did not even know that nominations were already in session. If I had known, well, perhaps, this post from last year will give you a clue about what I would have done.

Now, let's get down to the nitty gritty. Yours truly - yes, the one, the only verastic blogger, has been nominated in five categories (and I did not even have to fight for them), and here are the reasons why I should win all the categories I was nominated in.

1.  Best Daily Read: Pick a day --- like today, and I'll give you something good to read.    

2.  Best Use of Media/ Including Social Media: How many other blogs do you go to where you can both read, hear, and vote?  On Verastically Livin, you can!  I mean, super stars have been created on the Verastically Speakin' Talk Radio! Okay, maybe not  super stars exactly --- but somewhere close. Oh, but it gets better than that! Verastically Livin' also has a 'Prove Your Like' Facebook widget. If this is not head-turning, gotta-vote-Vera-in cool, tell me what is.

3.  Most Humorous Blog: Wasn't it I who came up with the secret formula to fix this so-called economic recession (by seducing men and producing baby girls)?  Wasn't it I who told you of the Priest who inquired of my stance on oral sex?  Wasn't it I who told you that Turai Yar'Adua vanished into thin air after thanking me for my alleged prayers?  And  wasn't it I who told you just how hard men have it? It was I, was it not?

4.  Most Unique Voice: Who, me? *Looking around, confused* Oh, my. How I have longed and waited to hear this. I have a unique voice?? Finally, someone sees [hears] it! People have been falling in love with everyone's voice but mine. I mean, just this Saturday, all my co-hosts [Aribaba, NaijaBloke, and BDON] shamelessly fell in love with Life of a Stranger's voice --- right before my very ears! So, yes, if not for anything else, I need this award to validate me. 

5.  Nigerian Blog of the Year: There are two reasons why I qualify to win this category (i) I'm Nigerian (ii) It's the year 2010. Oh, I have a third reason ... (iii) I'm better than all the other nominees. Yes, all nine of them.

But just in case you need to be persuaded just a wee bit more, here's my history with the Nigerian Blog Awards.

2006 [The first ever Nigerian Blog Award]

• Blogger I'd Most Like To Meet ---> Winner
• Funniest Blogger --> Nominee

2009 [The second Nigerian Blog Award]

• Best Everyday Read --> Winner
• Most Likeable Blogger --> Winner
• Blogger Most Likely To Become A Celebrity Off Blogging --> Winner
• Funniest Blogger --> Winner
• Bloggers' Choice Award --> Nominee
• Most Creative Blogger --> Nominee
• Dedicated Blogger --> Nominee
• Most Likely To Become A Talk Show Host --> Nominee
• Most Popular Blogger --> Nominee
• Most Stalked Blog --> Nominee

By now, your hands must be itching to vote for me. Of course, of course.  Voting commences on the 31st of May right here. Friends, let us remember that this is a war, an unfriendly war, where we must do all that we can to make sure that I win.  Anything and everything that can be done to stop my opponents must be done  --- including, but not limited to holding other opponents and their blog(s) in hostage until the voting season is over.  Alternatively, you could demand that their names be withdrawn from the contest. Doing that will earn them their freedom.  Henceforth, anyone who is not Vera Ezimora is an enemy, and must be treated as such. Yes, in all categories where Vera Ezimora/Verastically Livin' is nominated, blind your eyes to all other nominees, throw e-eggs at their blogs, and cajole them into vote for Vera Ezimora instead.

Voting commences on the 31st of May --- right here.

Breaking News...!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Let's Go There....!

Naija Blogger Awards is up...yay! I am not dedicating an entire post to the awards because I'm tryna create awareness & all that ish, but rather because I want to warn all of you: failure to vote for me will result in the permanent deletion of my blog. Yes, I realize this action will hurt me more than it will hurt you since I love and cherish my blog and its contents, but at least, my point will be made.

So what makes Vera - the one who lives Verastically - qualify? Please, read on. There are 17 categories for 'Category A' of the Naija Blogger Awards, and I intend to qualify for all of them. Yes, I said all of them.

1. Best Personal Blog: This shouldn't be difficult. Verastically Livin' is as personal as it can get. I have told you about my bathing routine (so now, you can practically picture me doing it); I have told you about my tropical rain forest (the jungle that hides within); I have told you about my shotput days (when I supplied free manure to grandma's farm); I have told you about my lactose intolerance (so now you know what not to serve me when I visit you), and I have even told you what kind of underwears I wear. What, do you need me to post a picture of my butt cheeks too?

2. Best Student Blog: So maybe I don't talk a lot about school, but I did mention that I had to do a school project when I had to visit a strip club and observe people. Well, what more do you want from me? Vote me there jare!

3. Most Inspiring Blogger: I inspired Temite, Funmie, and someone else whose name I can't remember right now to start blogging. How much more of an inspiring blogger do you want me to be? On February 14th, I even inspired God to answer my prayers and send me my Valentine. Hehehe. If I can inspire God, then what da heck?? If you ask me, I'll even say I inspired Barack Obama to run 4 President, but let's not get in2 that. We're keeping it on the down low.

4. Best Literary Blog (prose, poetry, story telling): Uhm, this might be a bit tricky. The stories I have told on Verastically Livin' are not exactly prose-type material BUT hey, they are stories nonetheless, no? Remember the story about the young boy who woulda wooed me if he wasn't so much younger than me? Well, that counts for something!

5. Best Use Of Theme In A Blog (religion, politics, social commentary, fashion, family, etc): How about "Totally Awesome" for a theme? If you ask me, that should count for something. And that is exactly what Verastically Livin' is all about. Someone might call this tooting my own horns, but what does he know?

6. Best Political Blog: Oh, this one is soooooo easy! On the day of the election, I blogged TWICE. I never, ever blog twice in a day, but that day I blogged twice - all for Obama. The posts are HERE & HERE. Now how's that for best political blog!!

7. Best Relgious Blog: I don't like the term 'religious;' I prefer 'spiritual,' but for the purpose of this award, I'll tell you that this is the best religious blog because on Sunday, October 19th, I rededicated my life to Christ. I also have a direct line to God. Who else has written a letter to Him and had it answered so swiftly and perfectly?

8. Best Fashion Blog: On Valentine's Day, I told you I wore a pink and black shirt. I only wore the pink shirt because it was Valentine's Day and I was tryna honor St. Valentine.

9. Best Entertainment Blog: Who else entertains you so much with the type of weird men she meets? Remember Mr. Kisser? TAB? Mr. Multiple Personality? Mr Slow? The Delivery Man? The weekend with three men - all of whom were either married, almost married, and probably married?

10. Best Everyday Read: By qualifying for categories one to nine, I automatically qualify for this one. It's no hard ball.

11. Most Creative Blogger: Me, of course! I came up with "Verastic" all by myself. I named Funmi "Fufustic" also (because I call her Fufu for short). And of course, I came up with the beautiful name that all of you are supposed to call me - Madam Interviewee Vera. Needless to say, you're doing a sucky job @ it. And one of these days, I'll shut all your blogs down.

12. Intellectual Blog: I know how to spell everyone's blogger/blogville name without looking. It's not easy, but what can I say? I have a rather high blogville IQ.

13. Dedicated Blogger Award (updates most frequently, comments, active blogger....): If you have not noticed, Verastically Livin' gets updated every three days (except for a few times when I have to delay because I need to update on a particular date. I am committed, darn it!

14. Most Likeable Blogger: I like myself, and that is all that should matter. The rest of you better get on board.... or else!! Yeap, I'm deleting Verastically Livin' and going to a far away land where I'll be known as the green-eyed one - Facebook.

15. Best Use Of Visuals In A Blog (images, themes, colors...etc): Every word you see in color in this post is a link. Do you have ANY idea how long it took me to hyperlink all these words???? Do you???? Well, that counts as visuals. That's my story & I'm sticking to it!

16. Best Use Of Media In A Blog (widgets, graphics, music...): Well, I have the 'Follow Verastic' widget, the 'Subscribe to Verastic' widget, and even the 'View My Complete Profile' widget. What more do you want?

17. Bloggers' Choice Awards (Naija blogger of the year): How many other bloggers have taken their time to put up this type of post? It is obvious I deserve this. Now, give it!

By now, I'm sure there is only one question on your mind: where do I cast my Verastic vote? Right HERE. The administrators require that no category be left blank, so please fill everything in. On a serious note, if you do not know which blogger to nominate for a category, just put 'N/A' or something like that. But don't leave it blank. This voting is open to any1 & everyone, so come one, come all.

I exit now....... to go & work on my acceptance speech.

*Vera singing* ... Winner oh oh oh, winner/winner oh oh oh oh winner/Vera you don win oh, winner/kpata kpata you go win forever, winner!

*Another song* It shall be permanent/it shall be permanent/what the Lord has done for me/it shall be permanent....permanent.....

Blogger I'd Most Like To Meet: Vera

Lemme rewind to that moment.

I started this blog in January 2006, and at that time, I knew only one other Naija blogger. She has since stopped blogging. I don't even remember her name and/or her blog. In 2006, I blog tire oh!! I blogged my heart out. More than half of my entire blog posts were done in 2006. You can say it was a very good year for me - Blogville wise. I met a lotta bloggers too (virtually, that is).

Anyway, TaureanMinx (who has disappeared off the face of Blogville along with many of my former Blogville colleagues) and Azuka came up with the Blogville Awards (which was a very good idea, by the way). The categories were listed on Tminx's blog, and people - bloggers and anonymous people alike got a chance to vote. I was kinda-sorta-new-but-not-really, so I didn't vote (I think). In fact, I didn't really follow that voting thing (I'm thinking). Imagine my pleasant surprise when I found out that I had won the category of Blogger I'd Most Like To Meet. I happy no be small oh. I was elated!!

So why am I bringing this up now??? I mean, it's been what...two years??? Well, I need a favor. Actually, I need two. And they both require me meeting you...or you meeting me - however this works.

Favor Number 1: I'm taking a class. It's called Psychology of Human Sexuality. It's been interesting. I have to do an observation where I watch human interaction...blah blah blah. Be still, oh beating heart of my reader. I am not proposing that you have sex with someone while I watch - unless you insist, of course. And no, you don't have to have sex with me either. Instead, I'm gonna be going to a strip club for guys (as in where women strip) to watch. I've never been into any kind of strip club, so this should be an interesting experience. I'm not quite sure what to expect, but I will go there with an open heart...(is that possible?). My professor and the rest of my classmates insist that I take a guy for my safety. And therein, lies the problem: who to take??? If you're up for the challenge, let me know. Of course, you'll have to be in the general vicinity of Baltimore, Maryland.

Favor Number 2: I cannot give details here because it's a secret...even Funmi doesn't know. But what I do know is that she will be calling me as soon as she reads this. Note to Funmi: Don't bother asking; I won't tell. For this favor, we'll also have to meet. If you think you might be interested, let me know. When you contact me, I will discuss the details with you. I can probably find someone without advertising this on my blog, but I figured I might as well make use of that two year old award (logo) of mine. LOL.


P.S. That Blogger Award thing was really fun. Someone (meaning anyone other than me) should try it this year. You can view the results on Tminx's page HERE. You should read the comments too. Very funny. LOL.

Afronuts, Standtall, Favored Girl, & Naapali

What better way to honor these beautiful people than to use their names as the title of my post? The 4th time has been the charm for me. I have received this award four times. This could mean one of two things:


1. I'm a very honest blogger, and you wonderful people have finally noticed and certified me.


2. I have fooled all of you, and y'll don't know what da heck you're talking about.


...I'm gonna go with number one. It's the certified, honest truth.







1. Afronuts: My dear, thank you for being the first to present me with this award. I know I promised to come back & make a speech, but I never did make it back. For this, I am so, so sorry. That being said, I have a question I have been meaning to ask you. Don't laugh; I'm serious. What does your name mean? I know what 'Afro' means, but what about the 'nuts??' If it's what I think it is, then I'll say, you naughty, naughty, boy!


2. Standtall: Times without number, I have imagined you having a conversation with my cousin, Nachi. He still believes that the Virgin Mary is not a Virgin. Why? She had breasts when she got pregnant. Who on earth made her breasts grow? Surely, someone (maybe Joseph) had to have been squeezing them. Apparently, no woman can grow breasts without a man first laying his hands on them. What say you, Standtall? lol. For those that are wondering, his last name is Ezimora too. I'm really starting to think that something is wrong with these Ezimora people. I'm clearly the only one who is sane.


3. Favored Girl: My love, you are truly favored. I learnt from Pastor Joel Osteen that I should believe I have the crown of favor on my head. So since then, I have been praying about it. I truly have. That being said, you're truly, truly favored. Your 'frumpiness' did not stop you from catching your husband's eyes. lol. Babe, I hope you have upgraded your wardrobe oh. No more grandma panties!! lol. Not many women can be frumpy yet sexy in their husband's eyes. But let's not push it, okay?


4. Naapali: My personal pesin! I've been thinking...of what use are you in my life sef? How can I have a doc in my life and not be using him? I have decided that I will go out today and badly scrape my knees and elbows, and you, Doc Naapali must take care of my injuries, by fire, by storm... FREE OF CHARGE. So please, go & buy your ticket to Baltimore. I hope you don't expect me to fly to Chi-Town for treatment. Now that I think of it sef, the scrapes might not be enough. Where is that butcher knife? I'm off to butcher my left leg off. Bring needle & thread on your way o! My color is a little light, but not yellow. I want the thread you use to sew me to match my skin tone perfectly, please.



Ehen, the rules (which I don't feel like pasting here) state that I should pass the award on to other people and let them know on their blog. Yeah, whatever. First of all, I'm passing this award to ALL MY LOVERS (aka my blog roll). So if your name is there, please consider yourself certified or recertified. For you to own a blog, it means there is an ounce of honesty in you, yes? Secondly, I refuse to visit 70+ blogs to tell them that they have been certified. That would be glorified spamming. Besides, I have better things to do with my time. I don't know what they are yet, but I know I have them.


Unlike Doc Naapali who shameless told people whose names were not on his list to meet him somewhere with their bank account number, I will be dignified. I will not stoop so low and ask for bank account details. I will respect myself, and say instead that...


...I am sorry if your name is not on my list of lovers, but not to worry, my list is not written in stone. It is ever growing and changing. Change is the only constant thing in life anyway, right? Simple measures can and should be taken to rectify this situation. To have your name added, send @ least one of the following perfumes to my address ASAP. Number 1 & 2 are my most precious ones. I know it's a rather short list, but I didn't wanna be greedy, you know...


1. Secret Obsession by Calvin Klein


2. Pour Femme by Bvlgari


3. Romance For Her by Ralph Lauren


4. Rock n Rose by Valentino


5. Absolutely Irresistable by Givenchy


6. Miracle Forever by Lancome


7. M by Mariah Carey

8. Magnifique by Lancome

9. Notorious by Ralph Lauren

10. Vera Wang by Vera Wang

11. Princess by Vera Wang

12. Daisy by Marc Jacobs

13. Gucci by Gucci

14. Ninna by Ninna Ricci

15. Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker



...Yeap, this method is so much more dignified. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. If you've got a problem with it, let your complaints be known by sending one or more of the perfumes above to

Vera Ezimora


P. O. BOX 7893

Essex, MD 21221

United States of America


***All complaints that are not accompanied by @ least one bottle of perfume will NOT be attended to. Shikena!!***