Woooooo. Thank God I'm done with the story. For those that don't know, I am talking about the short story I've been writing. It started off being called I Must Be Married, and then I changed it to Woman Palava, and finally, I have changed it to Every Woman.
I almost changed my mind about publishing, but seeing as someone has threatened me, I decided I'd better post it today. I don't wanna mention the person's name, but it rhymes with London Buki.
Read the story HERE and please, please, please give me feedback. Personally, I think the story is longer than I wanted it to be, but I'll work on cutting the length for the next chapter.
There are other websites with the story (though they may not have published it yet) www.nigeriavillagesquare.com www.nigeriansinamerica.com www.nigeriaworld.com You can check them out if you wanna, but like I said, they may or may not have been published.
Don't forget the feedback: You have no excuse o! Email me: verastic@yahoo.com Leave comments...on this blog, or on the other blog www.veraezimora.blogspot.com or on both. You can also call me 443-834-7374, so as you can see, there is no excuse for not leaving comments (Funmie, don't even think of calling me for feedback. I want...or rather REQUIRE a written feedback from u).
P.S. Funmi, I'm still gonna blog bout you and K. Don't think I've forgotten. Maybe tomorrow.
Bye Y'll
Thanks 4 all your support.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
Thank Goodness The Camera Broke
Soooooo it was just yesterday that I came cryin bout how mom broke the camera right? Well, I changed my mind. I'm glad she broke it.
Lemme tell you about this camera: neither me nor my mom is a professional photographer...or intending 2 become one in the nearest future. So the camera, which we bought from Sam's Club with mom's member card was a Casio 5.0 mega pixel camera. Nothing extraordinary, really.
My aunt convinced my mom 2 take the camera back 2 Sam's 2 see if they wuld take it back. I thought it was a fruitless effort (why would they take back a broken camera?). Let me just say that my aunt is the queen of returning stuff. Wal-Mart usually lets people return stuff even without a receipt, but my aunt has returned so many things that she has been banned from returnin stuff without receipts. Apparently, she has reached the limit. Who woulda thought Wal-Mart has a limit?
Anyways, my mom went back and tried 2 xplain 2 the customer service lady that the camera fell, but the lady cut my mom off, and said, "So do u wanna replace it?" I was stunned! So we sha went 2 the camera section 2 look @ the cameras where we realized that the one we had was no longer there. We decided to get another camera: a Samsung, 8.1 mega pixels.
Been playing with the camera ever since, and I am really loving it! I guess it's a good thing that the other camera got broken. I just hope my mother doesn't go crazy & break this one, knowing it would be readily replaced.
After we got the camera, my mother suggested we run out of the store before they realize the camera we gave them was broken. I wonder, won't our running out of the store call attention 2 us? Besides, since mom had 2 use her ID (cause she didnt have a receipt), I'm thinking, if they wanted 2 catch us, it really won't be a problem @ all. My mother is soooo dramatic.
I heard this on the news today, and I thought it was funny.
Two mexican men workin @ McDonald here in Maryland were arrested today. Wat did they do? Two cops ordered cheese burgers and the mexicans decided to put marijuana in the burgers. How dumb was that? Good thing is the cops noticed the burgers tasted funny and decided 2 open it; thank God they did. Who needs cops high on weed running around the city with fully loaded guns? As if we don't have enough issues already
Meanwhile, I have changed the name of my short story again. It went from 'I Must Be Married' to 'Woman Palava', and now, I have changed it to 'Every Woman'. This is the thing with writing this sorta things; u have 2 keep changin the title until u reach the perfect one. The good news is that I'm done and will be posting it tomorrow, without a doubt. Bear with me, please.
I think that's all for today. I will post the story in the morning. I hope you all enjoy it and stay tuned for following chapters. I won't disappoint u.
Good Nite
Lemme tell you about this camera: neither me nor my mom is a professional photographer...or intending 2 become one in the nearest future. So the camera, which we bought from Sam's Club with mom's member card was a Casio 5.0 mega pixel camera. Nothing extraordinary, really.
My aunt convinced my mom 2 take the camera back 2 Sam's 2 see if they wuld take it back. I thought it was a fruitless effort (why would they take back a broken camera?). Let me just say that my aunt is the queen of returning stuff. Wal-Mart usually lets people return stuff even without a receipt, but my aunt has returned so many things that she has been banned from returnin stuff without receipts. Apparently, she has reached the limit. Who woulda thought Wal-Mart has a limit?
Anyways, my mom went back and tried 2 xplain 2 the customer service lady that the camera fell, but the lady cut my mom off, and said, "So do u wanna replace it?" I was stunned! So we sha went 2 the camera section 2 look @ the cameras where we realized that the one we had was no longer there. We decided to get another camera: a Samsung, 8.1 mega pixels.
Been playing with the camera ever since, and I am really loving it! I guess it's a good thing that the other camera got broken. I just hope my mother doesn't go crazy & break this one, knowing it would be readily replaced.
After we got the camera, my mother suggested we run out of the store before they realize the camera we gave them was broken. I wonder, won't our running out of the store call attention 2 us? Besides, since mom had 2 use her ID (cause she didnt have a receipt), I'm thinking, if they wanted 2 catch us, it really won't be a problem @ all. My mother is soooo dramatic.
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I heard this on the news today, and I thought it was funny.
Two mexican men workin @ McDonald here in Maryland were arrested today. Wat did they do? Two cops ordered cheese burgers and the mexicans decided to put marijuana in the burgers. How dumb was that? Good thing is the cops noticed the burgers tasted funny and decided 2 open it; thank God they did. Who needs cops high on weed running around the city with fully loaded guns? As if we don't have enough issues already
************************************************************
Meanwhile, I have changed the name of my short story again. It went from 'I Must Be Married' to 'Woman Palava', and now, I have changed it to 'Every Woman'. This is the thing with writing this sorta things; u have 2 keep changin the title until u reach the perfect one. The good news is that I'm done and will be posting it tomorrow, without a doubt. Bear with me, please.
I think that's all for today. I will post the story in the morning. I hope you all enjoy it and stay tuned for following chapters. I won't disappoint u.
Good Nite
Sunday, October 08, 2006
New York
Where do I start?
Lemme start from Friday (although I went 2 NY on Sat): Uju and I were on the way to the mall and she was driving. Just as we pulled out of our street, one of those semi-massive trucks cut her off. Uju got mad mad and sped past him - after which she put her hand out of her window and gave the driver (a black man) her middle finger. Man got furious, drove past us, and came 2 the passenger's side (my side) where he kept drivin' next 2 us and cursing Uju (or maybe both of us) out. Uju, of course, kept giving him the finger - actually, it was both fingers now. I was just astonished. All I kept thinking was, "if this man pulls a gun out & decides 2 go crazy, I might be his first hit - considering the fact that he was on my side." But thank God 4 small mercies sha, he didn't go crazy on us.
Saturday: Mom rented a Dodge Durango. She always rents a vehicle when we're travelling. She says it's because she loves her SUV so much that she doesn't wanna put mileage on it. But I think she just loves renting cars. I wonder if Enterprise (the company she rents from) pays her. Anyways, it was me, my mom, my grandmom and my lil four year old cousin. This was a one-night trip, but somehow, the trunk of the SUV was so full that we had 2 put down the third-row seat 2 accomodate 4 the stuff my grandma brought along.
I knew from the beginning of this trip that I would be pissed. Maybe I jinxed myself, but I doubt it. Several things pissed me off: my mother's hard braking, my grandma's constant shout of, "Jesus!" every time my mother hit her brakes, my lil cousin's endless questioning, my mother's singing (her voice is outright terrible!), and my grandma believing that she knew the way 2 New York and could read the high way signs. She was confusing the hell outta me! So confused was I that we even't lost the way @ some point. And I guess the event of temporarily getting lost (by a few exits) was so traumatic for my grandma that she almost started crying. And 2 top it off, she suddenly needed 2 pee. Thank God we didn't have a case of incontinence due 2 stress. That wouldn't have been pretty.
So we got 2 NY. My mother kept taking some rubbish pictures of the kids - I dunno why. I kept on wondering the point of those pix; it wasn't like I was gonna waste a time printing them out. Next thing I know, mom drops the camera on the hard floor. It fell on its face, and now the almost $300 camera is no more. What a greeeaaaaat weekend.
My cell phone is still misbehaving. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it charges, sometimes it doesn't. I just kinda take it as a game. Sometimes it's annoying, and other times, I'm glad it isn't working. At least, I can have a legitimate reason 4 not calling some people.
One good thing did happen this weekend: I got to touch the hand of this really, hot white guy that works @ Enterprise. Yes, I know you're thinking, 'This Vera sef!", but trust me, this guy is hottt! I dunno wat it appealing about him - maybe his eyes, maybe his fine face - watever it is, I like it! How did I get 2 touch his hand? Well, he was tryna show my mom something in the SUV we rented when he dropped his Umbrella (it was drizzling). Being the nice gal that I am, I picked it up 4 him. When he tried 2 take it from me, our hands met. It was like nothing I had ever felt.
OK Vera, stop being dramatic. On a serious note, it was just like touching any other person's hands, but I like the fact that our hands touched. Hmmmm, who knows? One day I might bear his babies (his fine, beautiful babies that will look just like their mommy, of course) - if my father doesn't shoot his head off and lock me up 4 all eternity 4 bringing an oyibo man home. Yes, indeed my father is still old fashioned. But it's nice 2 dream anyway.
Sweet dreams everyone. Gotta go watch Girlfriends - they start the new episodes today.
Lemme start from Friday (although I went 2 NY on Sat): Uju and I were on the way to the mall and she was driving. Just as we pulled out of our street, one of those semi-massive trucks cut her off. Uju got mad mad and sped past him - after which she put her hand out of her window and gave the driver (a black man) her middle finger. Man got furious, drove past us, and came 2 the passenger's side (my side) where he kept drivin' next 2 us and cursing Uju (or maybe both of us) out. Uju, of course, kept giving him the finger - actually, it was both fingers now. I was just astonished. All I kept thinking was, "if this man pulls a gun out & decides 2 go crazy, I might be his first hit - considering the fact that he was on my side." But thank God 4 small mercies sha, he didn't go crazy on us.
Saturday: Mom rented a Dodge Durango. She always rents a vehicle when we're travelling. She says it's because she loves her SUV so much that she doesn't wanna put mileage on it. But I think she just loves renting cars. I wonder if Enterprise (the company she rents from) pays her. Anyways, it was me, my mom, my grandmom and my lil four year old cousin. This was a one-night trip, but somehow, the trunk of the SUV was so full that we had 2 put down the third-row seat 2 accomodate 4 the stuff my grandma brought along.
I knew from the beginning of this trip that I would be pissed. Maybe I jinxed myself, but I doubt it. Several things pissed me off: my mother's hard braking, my grandma's constant shout of, "Jesus!" every time my mother hit her brakes, my lil cousin's endless questioning, my mother's singing (her voice is outright terrible!), and my grandma believing that she knew the way 2 New York and could read the high way signs. She was confusing the hell outta me! So confused was I that we even't lost the way @ some point. And I guess the event of temporarily getting lost (by a few exits) was so traumatic for my grandma that she almost started crying. And 2 top it off, she suddenly needed 2 pee. Thank God we didn't have a case of incontinence due 2 stress. That wouldn't have been pretty.
So we got 2 NY. My mother kept taking some rubbish pictures of the kids - I dunno why. I kept on wondering the point of those pix; it wasn't like I was gonna waste a time printing them out. Next thing I know, mom drops the camera on the hard floor. It fell on its face, and now the almost $300 camera is no more. What a greeeaaaaat weekend.
My cell phone is still misbehaving. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it charges, sometimes it doesn't. I just kinda take it as a game. Sometimes it's annoying, and other times, I'm glad it isn't working. At least, I can have a legitimate reason 4 not calling some people.
One good thing did happen this weekend: I got to touch the hand of this really, hot white guy that works @ Enterprise. Yes, I know you're thinking, 'This Vera sef!", but trust me, this guy is hottt! I dunno wat it appealing about him - maybe his eyes, maybe his fine face - watever it is, I like it! How did I get 2 touch his hand? Well, he was tryna show my mom something in the SUV we rented when he dropped his Umbrella (it was drizzling). Being the nice gal that I am, I picked it up 4 him. When he tried 2 take it from me, our hands met. It was like nothing I had ever felt.
OK Vera, stop being dramatic. On a serious note, it was just like touching any other person's hands, but I like the fact that our hands touched. Hmmmm, who knows? One day I might bear his babies (his fine, beautiful babies that will look just like their mommy, of course) - if my father doesn't shoot his head off and lock me up 4 all eternity 4 bringing an oyibo man home. Yes, indeed my father is still old fashioned. But it's nice 2 dream anyway.
Sweet dreams everyone. Gotta go watch Girlfriends - they start the new episodes today.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Book Review: The Husband by Dean Koontz
I just finished reading Dean Koontz's novel, "The Husband", and I loved it! This is the first book of Dean Koontz I ever read, and I am ashamed of myself for not discovering him sooner. As I write this, I am listening to his podcast.The Husband is about a garderner, Mitch, whose wife is abducted. While he was at work (gardening 4 one of his clients), he received a phone call telling him that his wife had been abducted, but he could have her back for two million dollars. Poor Mitch only had about eleven thousand dollars. Go figure.
This book is a definite page turner. At a point, I was so eager 2 turn the page that I even became scared of turning it...4 fear of what might be in the next page. I was a wreck reading this book - a good wreck, I mean. I am sooo fascinated by Dean Koontz. His way with words is beyond my comprehension. But what I like best about him is his sense of humor. He's good. He's great.
One part of the book I love is the love shared between Mitch & his wife, Holly. In one of Dean Koontz's podcasts, he says that the love he shares with his wife, Gerda is what inspired him to write about the love between Mitch and his wife, Holly. Believe me when I say 'this book is awesome!' Two thumbs up.
London Buki, I recommend you read this book. You're gonna love it; I have no doubt. I am currently listening to his podcasts. You can check it out if it interests you. He is sooo funny, and I am laughing my head off as I type this.
I am about to read another book of Dean Koontz called, "Odd Thomas". I took this book from my Uncle's wife in Atlanta last year July. But I have still not read it; shame unto me.
Since I am totally satisfied with "The Husband", I know I will love this too. Gosh, I need to give Dean Koontz a serious hug. Yes, I know what you're thinking, "Vera, enough already!"
Alright enough.
I'm off to New York tomorrow. My mother and grandma are attending the 25th year anniversary of some relative of ours (I really don't know him; I've lost count of my relatives anyway. Wateva happened 2 family plannin??). Anyways, I really don't wanna go 4 the event, but my mom needs some1 2 read the map and give her directions. Hence, my reason 4 going. I won't go 4 the event itself, but I'll just stay in my Uncle's house. Thank God I've got a novel!
I won't be able 2 blog tomorrow because I am not going with my laptop (too much wahala abeg). So by not going with laptop, I won't be reachable on my public number - 443-834-7374. But if any1 does attempt 2 call, please leave a voicemail. I'll be back on Sunday, so hopefully, I'll be able to blog then. If not, see you Monday.
London Buki, good luck on your Run London thing. Tell us how it goes. My love and prayers go 2 mummy.
Good nite y'll. Gotta pack 4 tomorrow. I'm any where close to being a light traveller. I may be spending just one nite but you should see what I am carrying. I feel for my husband - whenever I marry said husband, of course.
OK Vera, go already!
Oh, one more thing; here's Dean Koontz's website: www.deankoontz.com
Stay Blessed everyone, and have a great weekend!
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Imo Dialect Is Sooooo Sexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxy
I have been listening to this song from Sunny Bobo (I blogged bout it some dayz ago), and though I cannot fully understand everything he's saying, I just love the sound of it. Some days ago I blogged about it; actually it was an audioblog, and you can listen to it here
While the name 'Sunny Bobo' does not particularly turn me on or anything like that, I do love the words that flow out of his mouth. Something about the way the words are pronounced and the tune they carry just makes me miss Naija soooooo much. Makes me wanna go for an Igbo event with immediate alacrity.
If you dare, listen to the audioblog. It's not all that clear because I recorded it from my CD player through my phone, so it's not a clear, crisp sound. But enjoy anyway.
While the name 'Sunny Bobo' does not particularly turn me on or anything like that, I do love the words that flow out of his mouth. Something about the way the words are pronounced and the tune they carry just makes me miss Naija soooooo much. Makes me wanna go for an Igbo event with immediate alacrity.
If you dare, listen to the audioblog. It's not all that clear because I recorded it from my CD player through my phone, so it's not a clear, crisp sound. But enjoy anyway.
Speaking of audioblogs, did y'll get the email that starting Nov. 1st, audioblogger would no longer be available? I can't say I will particularly miss it since I have only used it once, but I will definitely miss the option of using it. Oh well.
Back to my talk about the Imo dialect being sexxy. I don't know about other languages, but I do know that Igbo has many different dialects. Even in one state alone, there are several dialects. So Imo definitely has a different dialect from my good ol' Anambra general dialect.
So now I have a mission: to find me a foine ass Imo man. Does any1 have any leads that may help a desperate Anambra gal find a foine Imo man? He doesn't have 2 do anything special for me. Let him just speak the language. That's all I ask. I'll take care of everything else. I'll even set our wedding date sef; all he has to do is show up that day and vow 2 marry me for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness & in health. While I vow to marry him as long as he speaks the language to me.
Yes, I know I've lost my good sense. But who hasn't???
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
The Quest 2 Find A Cheap Flight Ticket
I've been online for the past hour tryna find a cheap ticket to Atlanta, Georgia. My uncle invited me for a wedding on the 24th of October. And even though I do not know who is getting married, I really do not care to find out either.
I have visited every cheap-ticket-selling site I can think of, but none of them are cheap....at least, to me, they are not. I have visited PriceLine, Cheap Tickets, Orbitz, Travelocity, Student Universe, Last Minute, and Expedia, but my search has been futile. Or so it seems.
The cheapest I have found so far costs $322 (roundtrip) from Last Minute, but the problem is that the cost includes a rental car. I don't have the option of not renting a car. But I do not need a car for anything. I am only going for the weekend, and I will be staying in someone's house, so why must I have a rental car?? I guess purchasing a ticket from Last Minute isn't an option for me then.
The other offer is from PriceLine. The good thing about them is that I get to pick my price and they try their best to match it up the best they can. The problem is that I have to put my credit card info in and I am not guaranteed to get a ticket...especially at the price I put in. Now, by putting my credit card in, I am making a financial committment to PriceLine. But what if they do not find a ticket? That means I'm assed out basically. And what if I find a better deal somewhere? That would mean that I would have to cancel my plans with PriceLine, and you know they would definitely be chargin me for cancellation...and I bet the cancellation will be even more than the ticket price itself.
Oh gosh, I need a yoghurt. And granola bar.
Help please! (I mean with the ticket thing. Although I am open to receiving gifts in the form of yoghurt & granola)
On a serious note, does any1 know where I can buy cheap tickets that are actually cheap?
I have visited every cheap-ticket-selling site I can think of, but none of them are cheap....at least, to me, they are not. I have visited PriceLine, Cheap Tickets, Orbitz, Travelocity, Student Universe, Last Minute, and Expedia, but my search has been futile. Or so it seems.
The cheapest I have found so far costs $322 (roundtrip) from Last Minute, but the problem is that the cost includes a rental car. I don't have the option of not renting a car. But I do not need a car for anything. I am only going for the weekend, and I will be staying in someone's house, so why must I have a rental car?? I guess purchasing a ticket from Last Minute isn't an option for me then.
The other offer is from PriceLine. The good thing about them is that I get to pick my price and they try their best to match it up the best they can. The problem is that I have to put my credit card info in and I am not guaranteed to get a ticket...especially at the price I put in. Now, by putting my credit card in, I am making a financial committment to PriceLine. But what if they do not find a ticket? That means I'm assed out basically. And what if I find a better deal somewhere? That would mean that I would have to cancel my plans with PriceLine, and you know they would definitely be chargin me for cancellation...and I bet the cancellation will be even more than the ticket price itself.
Oh gosh, I need a yoghurt. And granola bar.
Help please! (I mean with the ticket thing. Although I am open to receiving gifts in the form of yoghurt & granola)
On a serious note, does any1 know where I can buy cheap tickets that are actually cheap?
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
So Many Sites, Sooooo Little Time
There are sooo many sites out there for one to take part in. I remember when having an email address was the cool thing to do. But now, there are so many sites calling your name to join them. How does one find the time to keep up with all these sites? Personally, I think I have given up cause there is no way I can do it all.
I have three email address which I check regularly (and by regularly, I mean several times a day) and I have to reply their mails, of course. I have my public 'work' one @ yahoo. I have my personal one @ gmail. I have my other public one for the Naija group I run @ hotmail. It takes me hours to read the mails in all three inboxes and reply them all.
As if that's not enough, I have two blogs to update and check on everyday. Then I keep getting invitations to join other sites like MySpace, Hi5, FaceBook, etc. Ah, I don tire finish abeg. I can't keep up. I'm part of Hi5, but I really don't check it. I only check it when someone sends me a message.
There are also so many blog hosts out there! So far though, I still like blogspot better than all of them. But I think my least favorite one right now is Xanga. I don't like it because I cannot leave a comment unless I join them. But why would I wanna do something like that? Like I don't have enough wahala as it is already. Oh well. As it is, I don't think I can ever leave Blogspot sha. BY THE WAY, HAS ANYONE TRIED THE NEW BLOGGER IN BETA? I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. I'M SCARED OF SWITCHING TO IT CAUSE ONCE I DO, THERE IS NO GOING BACK TO THE FORMer (CURRENT) BLOGGER.
Video blogs seem to be the reigning thing huh? Even Google now has videos. Oga oh. These people want me to run mad with all these damn memberships. Don't they know I am only one person? Haba.
I was listening to Whitney Houston's I will Always Love You today, and you shoulda heard me singin. I was really doing it o...even the high pitch. I was surprised my neigbors didn't shout, "SHUT YOUR FLIPPIN' MOUTH UP!" cause my voice was too bad even for myself.
I think I am done with all my rantings for the day. I am still waiting for calabar gal's reply to my email, so I can conclude the first chapter of Women Palava and post it. Make una go tell Calabar Gal to reply my mail o!
I guess we go yarn tomorrow. I'm sleepy, so I don't think I will be staying up late today, but I am gonna try and read more of The Husband. I've become so slow in reading lately. Oh well.
Sweet Dreams
I have three email address which I check regularly (and by regularly, I mean several times a day) and I have to reply their mails, of course. I have my public 'work' one @ yahoo. I have my personal one @ gmail. I have my other public one for the Naija group I run @ hotmail. It takes me hours to read the mails in all three inboxes and reply them all.
As if that's not enough, I have two blogs to update and check on everyday. Then I keep getting invitations to join other sites like MySpace, Hi5, FaceBook, etc. Ah, I don tire finish abeg. I can't keep up. I'm part of Hi5, but I really don't check it. I only check it when someone sends me a message.
There are also so many blog hosts out there! So far though, I still like blogspot better than all of them. But I think my least favorite one right now is Xanga. I don't like it because I cannot leave a comment unless I join them. But why would I wanna do something like that? Like I don't have enough wahala as it is already. Oh well. As it is, I don't think I can ever leave Blogspot sha. BY THE WAY, HAS ANYONE TRIED THE NEW BLOGGER IN BETA? I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. I'M SCARED OF SWITCHING TO IT CAUSE ONCE I DO, THERE IS NO GOING BACK TO THE FORMer (CURRENT) BLOGGER.
Video blogs seem to be the reigning thing huh? Even Google now has videos. Oga oh. These people want me to run mad with all these damn memberships. Don't they know I am only one person? Haba.
*********************************************
I was listening to Whitney Houston's I will Always Love You today, and you shoulda heard me singin. I was really doing it o...even the high pitch. I was surprised my neigbors didn't shout, "SHUT YOUR FLIPPIN' MOUTH UP!" cause my voice was too bad even for myself.
I think I am done with all my rantings for the day. I am still waiting for calabar gal's reply to my email, so I can conclude the first chapter of Women Palava and post it. Make una go tell Calabar Gal to reply my mail o!
I guess we go yarn tomorrow. I'm sleepy, so I don't think I will be staying up late today, but I am gonna try and read more of The Husband. I've become so slow in reading lately. Oh well.
Sweet Dreams
Monday, October 02, 2006
Dis Igbo People Sef!
I got this as a forwarded message from Funmi on the 25th of April 2003, and I have kept it since then because I laugh every time I read it. Enjoy my people.
A Nigerian business tycoon was at a social gathering where other monguls and wealthy men were present. The Igbo businessman looked for all ways to oppress the other rich men who were present at the gathering. Just for this foolish reason, he sent for his driver and had this conversation with him:
A Nigerian business tycoon was at a social gathering where other monguls and wealthy men were present. The Igbo businessman looked for all ways to oppress the other rich men who were present at the gathering. Just for this foolish reason, he sent for his driver and had this conversation with him:
"Driver, go to my house, not the green one, the red one. Not the red one in Ikoyi, the red one in Victoria Island. Not the one in Adeola Odeku, the one on Etim Iyang Crescent. Not No 22, but No 11. It is a black gate you will see, fling it open. You will see a green Honda Civic. Perpendicularly, adjacently opposite to the Civic is a blue Toyota Carina E. It is not that one. Trigonometrically, geometrically, hypotenously 90 degrees to the 306 is a Mazda 929. It is not that one. The Mazda is very close to a regular Benz, the regular Benz is behind a 406, the 406 is beside Volvo S40 which is in front of a Honda Accord blocking a Toyota RAV4 opposite a Honda CRV. That makes a crescent to the Prado Jeep. On getting to the Prado Jeep, make a diagonal sharp turn to the left extreme right top corner, on your way to where I parked the M-Class, very close to the E-Class in front of the Beast at the back of the swimming pool is a lovely S. Type Jaguar. Don't touch the bonnet. Go to the boot, fling it open. You will see red, white and blue briefcases. The red one contains dollars, 10 million dollars. Don't touch it. The blue contains pounds, 8 million pounds. Don't touch it. The white one contains Naira, 500s, 200s, 100s, 50s, 20s, 10s denominations. I arranged them in hierarchical order. 500 Nairas in first layer, 200 Nairas in second, 100 Nairas 3rd layer, 50 Nairas 4th layer, 20 Nairas 5th and 10 Nairas top floor. Take one 10 Naira. Go and use it to buy pure water, and don't forget to bring my change!"
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Speaking of Igbo people sef, abeg my people, tell me: isn't there something wrong with the fact I am responsible for Uju's period? I mean, I have to keep a time table of her period on MY calendar because Uju doesn't know how 2 count her period....at this her age o! Her mates don born pikin finish and Uju is still relying on Vera to count her period. Yesterday, she sent me a text with the starting & ending date of her period, so I can record them. I kuku didn't bother arguing. I just did like a humble dog and recorded the thing. By the end of the month, she would send me another text that would say, "Vera, when is OUR period coming?" Can you imagine? "OUR"?? When did we start geography that we're drawing map? Ehn my people, when did period become a 'we' and 'our' thing?
In short, I don't blame Uju sef. I blame my period. Yes, I blame it for ALWAYS comin @ the same time as Uju's period. Hers always starts a day b4 mine, but we always end on the same day. She runs for six days, while I run for five days. See this kin punishmemnt o. Anyways, it's all good sha.
*******************************************************************
I finally put the links up to the blogs I read...yay! I guess you could say I got tired of typing in the wrong address. On LondonBuki's page, I noticed she arranged all her links in an alphabetical order, so I was thinking...nawa oh, this girl really has time, but after thinking about it, I realized it was a lot better and easier sef cause then one wouldn't have 2 go thru my whole list looking for one link. You get the point sha, abi?
******************************************************************
Remember how I said I'm writing a short story which I will publish/post in chapters? The name was originally 'I Must Be Married', but in order to broaden the story, I changed the name to 'Woman Palava'. i hope it is positively accepted my most sha. Of course, I don't expect every1 to like it. Shit, even Jesus sef had enemies. I am merely a human being.
Anywayz. thats all 4 now. Gud Nite.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Happy Independence Day, Naija!
So my dear Naija is now forty-six, huh? Awww, ain't that cute? I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday.
So, I have a question sha. I'm sure every1 has heard that 'life begins @ forty', right? And my father's personal favorite, 'a fool at 40 is a fool forever.' (Actually, my dad says, "a fool @ your age is a fool forever", but anyways...) Now, what does that say about our dear, Naija? At 40, Naija was definitely a fool, but now that she is 46, she really isn't doing much better. Does that mean there is no hope for her?
Who even came up with the idea that life really begins @ 40? Every1 seems 2 think life begins @ whatever age he or she is. I remember when Oprah turned 50 (can't remember if it was last yr or two years ago), and she said that was when her life really began. If that be the case, then I can hope that Naija will continue to grow. But mehn, there is so much work to be done in Naija sha. 4 starters, they need 2 have a reliable government - the one that actually practices democracy. Right now, they say it's democracy, but we know they are really running a millitarian government.
And more thing, they need 2 come up with some social security number system. I mean, there is no way 2 account 4 the people in Naija. Things are so out of whack. Can you imagine having mapquest in Naija? Do houses still have numbers? Do streets have names, abi are they just referred to as 'the street with the big orange house at the end'? Nawa o.
What about the postal system? Is there even a postal system? Thinking back now, I don't ever remember us receiving a at home (unless it was from DHL, UPS, etc). We always used the address of my dad's clinic...which was an hour away from us o! I know my father's P.O.Box worked because I used to send himm letter (even though we lived in the same house). I guess I was just bored.
Oh well. I just pray for our dear Naija. There are so many problems there. So much corruption, betrayal, back-stabbing, looting, coups, etc. It's just a who-pass-who country. Every1 wants 2 prove to be greater than the other. Vanity upon vanity. I pray God just weeds all the bad ones out. Naija has great potential. I'm yet to understand how and why we supply America with gas but can hardly find any in our country. Ah ah, na wetin now?
Anyhow sha, Happy Birthday Naija.
So, I have a question sha. I'm sure every1 has heard that 'life begins @ forty', right? And my father's personal favorite, 'a fool at 40 is a fool forever.' (Actually, my dad says, "a fool @ your age is a fool forever", but anyways...) Now, what does that say about our dear, Naija? At 40, Naija was definitely a fool, but now that she is 46, she really isn't doing much better. Does that mean there is no hope for her?
Who even came up with the idea that life really begins @ 40? Every1 seems 2 think life begins @ whatever age he or she is. I remember when Oprah turned 50 (can't remember if it was last yr or two years ago), and she said that was when her life really began. If that be the case, then I can hope that Naija will continue to grow. But mehn, there is so much work to be done in Naija sha. 4 starters, they need 2 have a reliable government - the one that actually practices democracy. Right now, they say it's democracy, but we know they are really running a millitarian government.
And more thing, they need 2 come up with some social security number system. I mean, there is no way 2 account 4 the people in Naija. Things are so out of whack. Can you imagine having mapquest in Naija? Do houses still have numbers? Do streets have names, abi are they just referred to as 'the street with the big orange house at the end'? Nawa o.
What about the postal system? Is there even a postal system? Thinking back now, I don't ever remember us receiving a at home (unless it was from DHL, UPS, etc). We always used the address of my dad's clinic...which was an hour away from us o! I know my father's P.O.Box worked because I used to send himm letter (even though we lived in the same house). I guess I was just bored.
Oh well. I just pray for our dear Naija. There are so many problems there. So much corruption, betrayal, back-stabbing, looting, coups, etc. It's just a who-pass-who country. Every1 wants 2 prove to be greater than the other. Vanity upon vanity. I pray God just weeds all the bad ones out. Naija has great potential. I'm yet to understand how and why we supply America with gas but can hardly find any in our country. Ah ah, na wetin now?
Anyhow sha, Happy Birthday Naija.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Nigerian Independence Day Parade in New York
Ah, na so so vex dey vex me here o! I coulda, shoulda been doing something else, but instead I am here swelling up like a balloon.
I have been planning on going for the Parade in Manhattan New York since God knows when. Finally, the day is here, and I am not there. How did that happen? It's all my fault because I was counting on my yeye friends to go with me, but they all bailed out on me at the last minute.
First of all, I have a bad habit of not wanting to go anywhere unless my friends are with me. If they are not with me, I don't go out. It's just not the same jare. I need my friends to be there, so we can talk and laugh and act like fools. I can't be acting a fool on the street of New York all by myself now haba. What if someone catches me on tape? OK, being caught on tape really isn't what is holding me back. What is holding me back is the fact that I just need to see very familiar faces around me.
So that's the story anyways. Busola said she's working; Uju said she has three exams next week (the week starting tomorrow); Funmie said she's broke. In fact, Funmie's own is the one that even pained me well well because I started asking Funmie if she was going for the parade ever since. Every time I said, "Funmi, are you going for the parade?", she would say, "I want to go." My people, is that a 'yes' or a 'no'? I was like, I don't wanna know if you wanna go or not; I want 2 know if you ARE going or not. Still, she would say, "I want to go." It was now on Sunday abi Monday that she opened her yeye mouth to say, "So Vera, when are we going shopping for the parade?" She should just be thankful that she wasn't with me when she asked me that question because na slap I for use answer her.
Funmie knows I hate shopping. OK, lemme rephrase it. I love shopping, but I cannot spend too much time @ the mall. It makes my skin crawl. The thought of walking around from one store to another just doesn't sit with me. So whenever I need to go shopping for an event like the parade, it would usually take me a whole month. One day, I might decide to enter only one store to look for a pair of shoes, and if I don't find it there, I would go home and go to a different store two days later. I don't wanna walk around the mall for hours, and I don't wanna drive from one store to the other looking for stuff. I'm not the kinda person who wants to buy everything in one day. I will lose my mind if I have to do that. So you see why I wanted to slap Funmie when she asked me when I wanted to go shopping...only five or six days from the event. Yeah right! I love planning my stuff, and it takes me ages to plan. If I were to throw a birthday party, I would start planning it like six to twelve months before the date. That's just me. I don't like all these chere-were (wait & take) planning abi shopping.
Anyways, I'm sure those that went for the parade are having ablast right now...without me. Gosh, this makes me wanna cry for real. But anyways...I go live sha, I guess.
I already promised my friend, Nora in New York that I go dey there next year. No shaking. No waiting on Funmie et al. I would just hang out with my friends in NY. Next year, I'll probably stay the whole weekend sef and have a blast. No clubbin' though. That's a complete waste of time to me.
See Ya....
p.s. I typed this post so freaking fast that I can only imagine how many typos I made, but I am in no mood to proof-read, so if you see any typo, I apologize.
I have been planning on going for the Parade in Manhattan New York since God knows when. Finally, the day is here, and I am not there. How did that happen? It's all my fault because I was counting on my yeye friends to go with me, but they all bailed out on me at the last minute.
First of all, I have a bad habit of not wanting to go anywhere unless my friends are with me. If they are not with me, I don't go out. It's just not the same jare. I need my friends to be there, so we can talk and laugh and act like fools. I can't be acting a fool on the street of New York all by myself now haba. What if someone catches me on tape? OK, being caught on tape really isn't what is holding me back. What is holding me back is the fact that I just need to see very familiar faces around me.
So that's the story anyways. Busola said she's working; Uju said she has three exams next week (the week starting tomorrow); Funmie said she's broke. In fact, Funmie's own is the one that even pained me well well because I started asking Funmie if she was going for the parade ever since. Every time I said, "Funmi, are you going for the parade?", she would say, "I want to go." My people, is that a 'yes' or a 'no'? I was like, I don't wanna know if you wanna go or not; I want 2 know if you ARE going or not. Still, she would say, "I want to go." It was now on Sunday abi Monday that she opened her yeye mouth to say, "So Vera, when are we going shopping for the parade?" She should just be thankful that she wasn't with me when she asked me that question because na slap I for use answer her.
Funmie knows I hate shopping. OK, lemme rephrase it. I love shopping, but I cannot spend too much time @ the mall. It makes my skin crawl. The thought of walking around from one store to another just doesn't sit with me. So whenever I need to go shopping for an event like the parade, it would usually take me a whole month. One day, I might decide to enter only one store to look for a pair of shoes, and if I don't find it there, I would go home and go to a different store two days later. I don't wanna walk around the mall for hours, and I don't wanna drive from one store to the other looking for stuff. I'm not the kinda person who wants to buy everything in one day. I will lose my mind if I have to do that. So you see why I wanted to slap Funmie when she asked me when I wanted to go shopping...only five or six days from the event. Yeah right! I love planning my stuff, and it takes me ages to plan. If I were to throw a birthday party, I would start planning it like six to twelve months before the date. That's just me. I don't like all these chere-were (wait & take) planning abi shopping.
Anyways, I'm sure those that went for the parade are having ablast right now...without me. Gosh, this makes me wanna cry for real. But anyways...I go live sha, I guess.
I already promised my friend, Nora in New York that I go dey there next year. No shaking. No waiting on Funmie et al. I would just hang out with my friends in NY. Next year, I'll probably stay the whole weekend sef and have a blast. No clubbin' though. That's a complete waste of time to me.
See Ya....
p.s. I typed this post so freaking fast that I can only imagine how many typos I made, but I am in no mood to proof-read, so if you see any typo, I apologize.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
How Am I Supposed To Feel?
If I had written this post at the time it happened, the title would have "Today Is A Wrong Day To Mess With Me".
Lemme xplain. I got emails in my mailbox in the afternoon about my last article (Love & Be Loved). Getting emails from happy readers is really not a new thing (Thank God), but getting them from readers who read my piece on "Champion Newspaper" in Nigeria is definitely a new thing because I do not write for Champion Newspaper.
So here's the deal: On one hand, it's a good thing that they published my article there because it is getting my name out there for more people to see and know. It's good publicity, you know? It's building up my CV. But on the other hand, they have no right to publish my article without asking me first. How can a big newspaper like Champion do something like this? Don't they know about etiquettes? Let's not forget that they are making money off me in Nigeria oh. Damn, I'm getting angry all over as I'm typing this. This type of thing pisses me off 2 my bone. I actually found their website online and tried calling both of their numbers...but I was told "the number you're calling is not reachable @ the moment; please try your call again later". Why am I not surprised? I tried emailing them immediately, but then my internet fumbled. I guess that was God tryna stop me raining curses on them. This matter is not closed; definitely not. I'm still gonna try & contact them.
At first, I was thinking maybe they didn't have a way to reach me concerning the article, but then I realised that couldn't have been the case. They had to have known and published my public email address too. I mean, how else did the readers reach me? I try my best to make myself very accessible, which is why I openly and publicly display my email address, so that anyone can get to me. So you see why I am so pissed @ this damn Champion Newspaper people?
How am I supposed to feel? What am I supposed 2 do? I really dunno. Hmmm. Did I mention that today is the second day in my menstrual cycle? That means hundred times more likely 2 get pissed. Damn, these people have really screwed with my day. I'm gonna go ahead and send them that e-mail since their business numbers are not working. Damn Nigerian people.
SHIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!
Lemme xplain. I got emails in my mailbox in the afternoon about my last article (Love & Be Loved). Getting emails from happy readers is really not a new thing (Thank God), but getting them from readers who read my piece on "Champion Newspaper" in Nigeria is definitely a new thing because I do not write for Champion Newspaper.
So here's the deal: On one hand, it's a good thing that they published my article there because it is getting my name out there for more people to see and know. It's good publicity, you know? It's building up my CV. But on the other hand, they have no right to publish my article without asking me first. How can a big newspaper like Champion do something like this? Don't they know about etiquettes? Let's not forget that they are making money off me in Nigeria oh. Damn, I'm getting angry all over as I'm typing this. This type of thing pisses me off 2 my bone. I actually found their website online and tried calling both of their numbers...but I was told "the number you're calling is not reachable @ the moment; please try your call again later". Why am I not surprised? I tried emailing them immediately, but then my internet fumbled. I guess that was God tryna stop me raining curses on them. This matter is not closed; definitely not. I'm still gonna try & contact them.
At first, I was thinking maybe they didn't have a way to reach me concerning the article, but then I realised that couldn't have been the case. They had to have known and published my public email address too. I mean, how else did the readers reach me? I try my best to make myself very accessible, which is why I openly and publicly display my email address, so that anyone can get to me. So you see why I am so pissed @ this damn Champion Newspaper people?
How am I supposed to feel? What am I supposed 2 do? I really dunno. Hmmm. Did I mention that today is the second day in my menstrual cycle? That means hundred times more likely 2 get pissed. Damn, these people have really screwed with my day. I'm gonna go ahead and send them that e-mail since their business numbers are not working. Damn Nigerian people.
SHIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
About The Audioblog Below...
I tried writing this on the previous post, but it won't let me. I can't edit the post and add the info that I wanna add. Anyways...this is what I was gonna write there.
On Saturday night, my mom & grandma went 4 some Igbo function, and the next day (while I was sleeping) I heard loud music boomin from the sound system in the living room. At first, I was mad cause my mother is fund of playing loud Nigerian music in the morning; she doesn't understand that not every1 wakes up at eight like her. But anyways...
After a while, I found myself wiggling myself 2 the beat of the music on bed. I had 2 make a copy of the CD, and I have been playing it ever since. The third track which is my favorite. I don't understand everything he is saying, but I know I love it. I think he is from Imo cause he mentioned some Imo local governments like Ngor-Okpala, but damn, whatever he is saying is sweet music 2 my ears. I have been dancing to the whole CD - especially the third, of course. His name is Sonny Bobo but I dunno the name of the CD.
It isn't so clear here cause I had to do the audioblog with my cell phone, but hopefully, you can grasp the general sound of the song. I just love it. I honestly think it is sooo damn sexxxy. I find a lot of things sexxxy, right?? (maybe I need to redefine the meaning of sexxxy) LOL. The song makes me wanna marry an Imo man. Does any1 know where to find one? *wink wink*
I'm going to take a shower (even though it's already past 4pm). I'm taking the CD player from the kitchen with me in2 the bathroom cause I intend to dance to this song while I'm taking a shower. Mm mm mm. My father would LOVE this song; this is the type of song he likes. I think any funny man who loves a song like this one would get along very well with my daddy. I'm such a daddy's gal. Anyhow u look @ it, 'daddy's gal' always sounds better than 'mama's boy', right?
I dated a mama's boy once. Absolute rubbish. All I heard was "momsy said"... "momsy this..." and "momsy that...". Every statement and answer always seemed to start with 'momsy..." Imagine my plight. Anyways, thank God that's over and done with.
JUST ENJOY THE MUSIC & TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.
On Saturday night, my mom & grandma went 4 some Igbo function, and the next day (while I was sleeping) I heard loud music boomin from the sound system in the living room. At first, I was mad cause my mother is fund of playing loud Nigerian music in the morning; she doesn't understand that not every1 wakes up at eight like her. But anyways...
After a while, I found myself wiggling myself 2 the beat of the music on bed. I had 2 make a copy of the CD, and I have been playing it ever since. The third track which is my favorite. I don't understand everything he is saying, but I know I love it. I think he is from Imo cause he mentioned some Imo local governments like Ngor-Okpala, but damn, whatever he is saying is sweet music 2 my ears. I have been dancing to the whole CD - especially the third, of course. His name is Sonny Bobo but I dunno the name of the CD.
It isn't so clear here cause I had to do the audioblog with my cell phone, but hopefully, you can grasp the general sound of the song. I just love it. I honestly think it is sooo damn sexxxy. I find a lot of things sexxxy, right?? (maybe I need to redefine the meaning of sexxxy) LOL. The song makes me wanna marry an Imo man. Does any1 know where to find one? *wink wink*
I'm going to take a shower (even though it's already past 4pm). I'm taking the CD player from the kitchen with me in2 the bathroom cause I intend to dance to this song while I'm taking a shower. Mm mm mm. My father would LOVE this song; this is the type of song he likes. I think any funny man who loves a song like this one would get along very well with my daddy. I'm such a daddy's gal. Anyhow u look @ it, 'daddy's gal' always sounds better than 'mama's boy', right?
I dated a mama's boy once. Absolute rubbish. All I heard was "momsy said"... "momsy this..." and "momsy that...". Every statement and answer always seemed to start with 'momsy..." Imagine my plight. Anyways, thank God that's over and done with.
JUST ENJOY THE MUSIC & TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
High
Yes, I am high! You read right; I am hiiiiiiiiggggghhhhhh! And it feels damn good. I'm high on a few things.
1: I bought a huge cup/container of French Vanilla Capuccino. Mmmmmmm sooooo goood. I had some a few minutes go, and it is tasty! Best of all, it's instant and it already has everything (creme & sugar), so all I have 2 do it pour hot water. I didn't get some whipped creme for it cause I don't use whipped creme wit my hot beverage. There r betta things 2 do with whipped creme... like.... you know.
2. I bought a whole box of goghurt. Goghurt is yoghurt on the go. It's yoghurt in a satchet, and I am pretty sure the makers made it for kids cause there are a buncha cartoons on the satchets, but who cares? I love it and I am keepin it! Funmi called me agbaya.. can you imagine? Oh well. Needless 2 say, goghurts are awesome!
3. I finished my short story and started a new series today. It's called "I Must Be Married". I'll let you read it when I am done. I will publish it in chapters....kinda like a soap opera. Feel me? Anyways, I'm really excited that I finally finished my short story - I mean completely finished it - editing & stuff.
4. I watched a new episode of HOUSE today, and two new episodes of LAW & ORDER. First one was LAW & ORDER CI (CRIMINAL INTENT), and the second one was LAW & ORDER SVU (SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT). My favorite is LAW & ORDER SVU with Detective Stabler & Olivia. Am I the only who is crazy bout these shows? And I don't care wat any1 says, but I think Dr. House is sexxxy! His blue eyes are so hypnotic. And he is British too! His sarcasm neva stops makin me laff mehn; he is da bomb.
OK - I think those are the only reasons I'm high this evening...unless the two antibiotics I'm on are also playing a role in my excess hyperactivity & 'highness'. Oh, while I was @ Wal-Mart, I did rush off for a few minutes to go and sniff some liquid soap. Yes, I admit, I love sniffin soap. So what?! Don't judge me. Anyways, my point is that the soap I sniffed may be playing a role in my hyperactivity this evening.
I just remembered sef... a weird thing happened this evening. I'm not high on this, but I just thought it was interesting. A friend of mine called me and the ff conversation ensued
Me: Hello?
Friend: Hey, Vera, what's up?
Me: Nothing really. What's going on?
Friend: I've got a quick question for you.
Me: Go ahead & ask. (I have 2 mention the fact that I don't like this kind of situation because when people say they wanna ask you a question, you neva know what the person has to say. It's like when a person calls and says, "are you busy"? I never say "no". I always "Why?". It's only afta I find out why the person is asking that I decide whether I am busy or not. Hmmm, should I be writing this online?)
Friend: Do you have any European blood in you?
Me: Huh???
Friend: I mean, I know you have something to do with Russia, so do you have their blood in you?
Me: (confused) Ugh...no. I was only born there.
Friend: Oh ok. Just wanted to ask.
Me: Why?
Friend: Nothing. Just wondering. (Yeah right!)
Me: Alright bye. Thanks for calling...I guess.
Friend: Alright bye.
Why was he asking?? I don't like when something like this happens cause I have been obsessing over it and tryna figure out why he was asking. Damn, I obsess over things too much 4 real. I think I think too much.
Odd fact about me: A few people have said I look like I'm mixed with Asian blood. Weird huh...considering the fact that I'm black. Apparently, my eyes are a bit "narrow". Hmmmm. My high skool French teacher in Naija was so sure I was a "lil Chinese". And some Naija gal here thought I was kinda Asian too. But why??? At a point, I started wondering if my mom was keeping something from me....LOL... nah, not possible. I'm a carbon copy of my dad...xcept in some physiological & anatomical differences, of course. :)
I'm out of here. I'm talking 2 much...again
1: I bought a huge cup/container of French Vanilla Capuccino. Mmmmmmm sooooo goood. I had some a few minutes go, and it is tasty! Best of all, it's instant and it already has everything (creme & sugar), so all I have 2 do it pour hot water. I didn't get some whipped creme for it cause I don't use whipped creme wit my hot beverage. There r betta things 2 do with whipped creme... like.... you know.
2. I bought a whole box of goghurt. Goghurt is yoghurt on the go. It's yoghurt in a satchet, and I am pretty sure the makers made it for kids cause there are a buncha cartoons on the satchets, but who cares? I love it and I am keepin it! Funmi called me agbaya.. can you imagine? Oh well. Needless 2 say, goghurts are awesome!
3. I finished my short story and started a new series today. It's called "I Must Be Married". I'll let you read it when I am done. I will publish it in chapters....kinda like a soap opera. Feel me? Anyways, I'm really excited that I finally finished my short story - I mean completely finished it - editing & stuff.
4. I watched a new episode of HOUSE today, and two new episodes of LAW & ORDER. First one was LAW & ORDER CI (CRIMINAL INTENT), and the second one was LAW & ORDER SVU (SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT). My favorite is LAW & ORDER SVU with Detective Stabler & Olivia. Am I the only who is crazy bout these shows? And I don't care wat any1 says, but I think Dr. House is sexxxy! His blue eyes are so hypnotic. And he is British too! His sarcasm neva stops makin me laff mehn; he is da bomb.
OK - I think those are the only reasons I'm high this evening...unless the two antibiotics I'm on are also playing a role in my excess hyperactivity & 'highness'. Oh, while I was @ Wal-Mart, I did rush off for a few minutes to go and sniff some liquid soap. Yes, I admit, I love sniffin soap. So what?! Don't judge me. Anyways, my point is that the soap I sniffed may be playing a role in my hyperactivity this evening.
I just remembered sef... a weird thing happened this evening. I'm not high on this, but I just thought it was interesting. A friend of mine called me and the ff conversation ensued
Me: Hello?
Friend: Hey, Vera, what's up?
Me: Nothing really. What's going on?
Friend: I've got a quick question for you.
Me: Go ahead & ask. (I have 2 mention the fact that I don't like this kind of situation because when people say they wanna ask you a question, you neva know what the person has to say. It's like when a person calls and says, "are you busy"? I never say "no". I always "Why?". It's only afta I find out why the person is asking that I decide whether I am busy or not. Hmmm, should I be writing this online?)
Friend: Do you have any European blood in you?
Me: Huh???
Friend: I mean, I know you have something to do with Russia, so do you have their blood in you?
Me: (confused) Ugh...no. I was only born there.
Friend: Oh ok. Just wanted to ask.
Me: Why?
Friend: Nothing. Just wondering. (Yeah right!)
Me: Alright bye. Thanks for calling...I guess.
Friend: Alright bye.
Why was he asking?? I don't like when something like this happens cause I have been obsessing over it and tryna figure out why he was asking. Damn, I obsess over things too much 4 real. I think I think too much.
Odd fact about me: A few people have said I look like I'm mixed with Asian blood. Weird huh...considering the fact that I'm black. Apparently, my eyes are a bit "narrow". Hmmmm. My high skool French teacher in Naija was so sure I was a "lil Chinese". And some Naija gal here thought I was kinda Asian too. But why??? At a point, I started wondering if my mom was keeping something from me....LOL... nah, not possible. I'm a carbon copy of my dad...xcept in some physiological & anatomical differences, of course. :)
I'm out of here. I'm talking 2 much...again
Monday, September 25, 2006
I'm Overwhelmed....But Why?
Every time I enter my office (which is really just a corner in my bedroom with a table and office stuff on it), I kinda start having anxiety. I turn my laptop on and I just feel so overwhelmed! When my yahoo messenger signs me in automatically and the thing pops up 2 tell me I have mail, I start getting uncomfortable....mainly because I have some other mails 2 reply and now I've got new ones.
Another problem is that I have so much 2 write. I have my book, my regular articles (that aren't so regular anymore), my series of short stories (that I keep starting and cancelling 2 start all ova), my articles for my job in Naija, and all the other mini writin projects I have. Believe me, I have sooooo many. I just completed one - 8 pages, 4998 words.
Oh, I was reading a writing book the other day, and it said one of the myths about writers is that 'they are all crazy'. I couldn't help but laugh at that. Uju always says I'm crazy cause I'm a writer and I come up with all sorts of crazy ideas. Of course, I had 2 call her and tell her that it was a myth. But then again, it doesn't say that all writers are not crazy, it says not all are, so I just might be among those that are. But I think I seriously doubt it. I am as sane as they come. God help me.
Has any1 seen the movie 'Secret Window' starring Jonny Depp? Gosh, he's so sexxxy, but that's beside the point. The point is that he was a writer in the movie, and he totally went crazy and killed his ex-wife and her boyfriend. Uju makes it a habit 2 reference 2 that movie all the time. But does that mean I will go crazy and kill my ex?? Nah, that's definitely not gonna happen. I don't have any ex whom I want back.... so killin said ex is definitely not even an option.
OK - I've officially gone off the subject. The point of this post is to emphasize the fact that I am overwhelmed. So far, I think I have replied all the mails I'm supposed to reply - thank God for that miracle. I'm feeling better by the way. My eye is a lot better and my throat too is definitely better. It almost doesn't hurt anymore even.
So do I know why I am overwhelmed now? Not really. I mean, I know why I am overwhelmed, but I don't know why those things overwhelm me. A writer has gat 2 write, right?
Well, I'm out of here. I guess we go yarn later. Bye.
Another problem is that I have so much 2 write. I have my book, my regular articles (that aren't so regular anymore), my series of short stories (that I keep starting and cancelling 2 start all ova), my articles for my job in Naija, and all the other mini writin projects I have. Believe me, I have sooooo many. I just completed one - 8 pages, 4998 words.
Oh, I was reading a writing book the other day, and it said one of the myths about writers is that 'they are all crazy'. I couldn't help but laugh at that. Uju always says I'm crazy cause I'm a writer and I come up with all sorts of crazy ideas. Of course, I had 2 call her and tell her that it was a myth. But then again, it doesn't say that all writers are not crazy, it says not all are, so I just might be among those that are. But I think I seriously doubt it. I am as sane as they come. God help me.
Has any1 seen the movie 'Secret Window' starring Jonny Depp? Gosh, he's so sexxxy, but that's beside the point. The point is that he was a writer in the movie, and he totally went crazy and killed his ex-wife and her boyfriend. Uju makes it a habit 2 reference 2 that movie all the time. But does that mean I will go crazy and kill my ex?? Nah, that's definitely not gonna happen. I don't have any ex whom I want back.... so killin said ex is definitely not even an option.
OK - I've officially gone off the subject. The point of this post is to emphasize the fact that I am overwhelmed. So far, I think I have replied all the mails I'm supposed to reply - thank God for that miracle. I'm feeling better by the way. My eye is a lot better and my throat too is definitely better. It almost doesn't hurt anymore even.
So do I know why I am overwhelmed now? Not really. I mean, I know why I am overwhelmed, but I don't know why those things overwhelm me. A writer has gat 2 write, right?
Well, I'm out of here. I guess we go yarn later. Bye.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Good News
I woke up at about 6am this morning as I have been doing for the past few days - not because I was eager to see the world, but because my nose was so stuffy, my throat was hurting, and my eyes were itching.
So what's the good news, you wonder. The first good news is that I went to see a doctor yesterday, and I was prescribed some medications: antibiotics and some eye drop. I took some advil too yesterday to relieve some of the pain in my throat, and I tell you, I was glad I did. I carry advil in my purse everyday, but somehow, it never occured to me to take it to relieve the pain in my throa. I only remember my advil when I have a headache.
The second good news is that Funmi has a sore throat. Yay!!! My next target is Uju. I want her to come down with all my problems too. I want her to suffer like I am. I know you must be thinking I am evil, but trust me, I am as sweet as they come. Why should I suffer alone? When I cook, she [Uju] comes to eat, so why can't she be sick with me? Wait till I fast for her; you's be surprised how fast she will fall sick. Amen.
Anyways, so many people left me comments about my latest article, Love & Be Loved on the sites where I posted them and some sent me emails. I have not replied any emails yet, but thank God I am up early, huh? Well, I better start working on those replies right now. You can check this link out to see the most replies I got. http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/vera-ezimora/love-and-be-loved.html
I just started two more articles, but only God knows when I will finish them. But once I do, you know you'll be the first to know. Thanks a lot y'll!
One wet kiss for every pair of lips. (@ least that would promote my sore throat... hehehe)
So what's the good news, you wonder. The first good news is that I went to see a doctor yesterday, and I was prescribed some medications: antibiotics and some eye drop. I took some advil too yesterday to relieve some of the pain in my throat, and I tell you, I was glad I did. I carry advil in my purse everyday, but somehow, it never occured to me to take it to relieve the pain in my throa. I only remember my advil when I have a headache.
The second good news is that Funmi has a sore throat. Yay!!! My next target is Uju. I want her to come down with all my problems too. I want her to suffer like I am. I know you must be thinking I am evil, but trust me, I am as sweet as they come. Why should I suffer alone? When I cook, she [Uju] comes to eat, so why can't she be sick with me? Wait till I fast for her; you's be surprised how fast she will fall sick. Amen.
Anyways, so many people left me comments about my latest article, Love & Be Loved on the sites where I posted them and some sent me emails. I have not replied any emails yet, but thank God I am up early, huh? Well, I better start working on those replies right now. You can check this link out to see the most replies I got. http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/vera-ezimora/love-and-be-loved.html
I just started two more articles, but only God knows when I will finish them. But once I do, you know you'll be the first to know. Thanks a lot y'll!
One wet kiss for every pair of lips. (@ least that would promote my sore throat... hehehe)
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Old Naija Commercials.
Oh boy!
See this yeye commercial thing o! Do you know when I tried bloggin it? It just decided to appear today. I just came 2 view my blog, and found it...and it even appeared twice. :HISSES: nonsense & ingredients.
Anyways, I couldn't stop laughing when I saw these commercials...oh the memories! As y'll can see, I don old 4 this world. I even remember the words of the commercials. Dang! I think the one I enjoyed most is the one of Zeburudaya. Gosh, I love that man.
BTW...does any1 happen 2 have some of Zeburudaya's videos? I'm willin 2 pay almost anything for some of his videos. He is my favorite Naija comedian 4 shizzle (I sound so urban). He's da best.
Anyways, enjoy the commercial sha.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Oh God, Why Me Now Ehn? Why Not Funmie...She Deserves It
OK, I know the title of this post is a sentence on its own, but that's how I feel right now. Lemme tell you my predicament:
There I was, being the good girl that I have always been, and this damn cold just had to strike me. Now, my nose is stuffy and I can't breathe. I was still tryna deal with that, and then yesterday my right eye starting itching so bad. I had tears streaming down my right eye nonstop, but I didn't even know how bad it was until I came home and looked at my eye in the mirror. It was RED! Just the right eye oh. This morning I woke up with a sore throat; can you imagine? What kinda rubbish is this? Why am I the one with all these problems when Funmie has none? I slept @ Funmie's house last night and tried my best to give her one of my illnesses, but she refused to catch it. But it's all good though; I will make sure I put her in2 prayer. I know prayer moves mountains, so by the time I pray about it, Funmi will wake up being just as sick as I am.
Anyways, I diagnosed myself with "pink eye" (conjunctivitis) - actually, Funmie's sister, Seun diagnosed me with it, so I researched it online and found out that there are three types: Allergic, Viral and baterial. From the symptoms I am having, I'm thinking and really hoping that mine is allergic, but what is the cause? I do remember picking out a piece of mascara from my right eye on Sunday - could that be the problem? I also cleaned my eyes with eye makeup remover, and some of it got in2 my eye....but it was the left eye it got in2. So what the hell is ma problem??? Oh well, I got myself some Visine-A for red eye and irritation, and the redness has decreased...although it's still itching the hell outta me, but I'll live. I definitely won't miss it when its gone. But you know what will make me really, really, really happy? Funmie's catching all my sicknesses and even more.
Oh, and I'm done with my article 'Love & Be Loved'. You can read it on my other blog www.veraezimora.com or you can visit other Naija sites: www.nigeriaworld.com www.nigeriansinamerica.com www.nigeriavillagesquare.com
Well, I guess that's it for now. Help me talk to our Father, God, so He can be merciful enough to let Funmie have hers!
Nite-Nite...
There I was, being the good girl that I have always been, and this damn cold just had to strike me. Now, my nose is stuffy and I can't breathe. I was still tryna deal with that, and then yesterday my right eye starting itching so bad. I had tears streaming down my right eye nonstop, but I didn't even know how bad it was until I came home and looked at my eye in the mirror. It was RED! Just the right eye oh. This morning I woke up with a sore throat; can you imagine? What kinda rubbish is this? Why am I the one with all these problems when Funmie has none? I slept @ Funmie's house last night and tried my best to give her one of my illnesses, but she refused to catch it. But it's all good though; I will make sure I put her in2 prayer. I know prayer moves mountains, so by the time I pray about it, Funmi will wake up being just as sick as I am.
Anyways, I diagnosed myself with "pink eye" (conjunctivitis) - actually, Funmie's sister, Seun diagnosed me with it, so I researched it online and found out that there are three types: Allergic, Viral and baterial. From the symptoms I am having, I'm thinking and really hoping that mine is allergic, but what is the cause? I do remember picking out a piece of mascara from my right eye on Sunday - could that be the problem? I also cleaned my eyes with eye makeup remover, and some of it got in2 my eye....but it was the left eye it got in2. So what the hell is ma problem??? Oh well, I got myself some Visine-A for red eye and irritation, and the redness has decreased...although it's still itching the hell outta me, but I'll live. I definitely won't miss it when its gone. But you know what will make me really, really, really happy? Funmie's catching all my sicknesses and even more.
Oh, and I'm done with my article 'Love & Be Loved'. You can read it on my other blog www.veraezimora.com or you can visit other Naija sites: www.nigeriaworld.com www.nigeriansinamerica.com www.nigeriavillagesquare.com
Well, I guess that's it for now. Help me talk to our Father, God, so He can be merciful enough to let Funmie have hers!
Nite-Nite...
Monday, September 18, 2006
Sorry I've Been Away
Haya!
Usually, I blog more often, but I have been writing several things at the same time. I have been writing my book, writing a short story, and writing an article. I'm done with the article called "Love And Be Loved", and I am almost done with the shohrt story (just need to do some final editing).
Anyways, I was harrassed this morning that none other than my yeye friend Funmi. Can you believe she had the nerve to tell a fine girl like myself that I am crazy? That girl don dey grow wings oh...or maybe I did her cornrows too tight cause that's the only other plausible explaination for her new found boldness. LOL. I know I would be getting some insults from her in my comment box, but who cares??
There's a video for Naija commercials that I have been tryna blog, but for whatever reason, it's not blogging. I can't stay right now and try to figure out the problem cause I gotta take a shower and be outtie. For those old folks (like me) who lived in Naija for a period of their lives, when you see the video, you will laugh your head off. It's crazy!! I really love YouTube, you know. They have the funniest videos there...especially the Naija ones.
Anyways, I'm out of here. Wanna join me in the shower??? Mm mm mm
:KISSES:
Usually, I blog more often, but I have been writing several things at the same time. I have been writing my book, writing a short story, and writing an article. I'm done with the article called "Love And Be Loved", and I am almost done with the shohrt story (just need to do some final editing).
Anyways, I was harrassed this morning that none other than my yeye friend Funmi. Can you believe she had the nerve to tell a fine girl like myself that I am crazy? That girl don dey grow wings oh...or maybe I did her cornrows too tight cause that's the only other plausible explaination for her new found boldness. LOL. I know I would be getting some insults from her in my comment box, but who cares??
There's a video for Naija commercials that I have been tryna blog, but for whatever reason, it's not blogging. I can't stay right now and try to figure out the problem cause I gotta take a shower and be outtie. For those old folks (like me) who lived in Naija for a period of their lives, when you see the video, you will laugh your head off. It's crazy!! I really love YouTube, you know. They have the funniest videos there...especially the Naija ones.
Anyways, I'm out of here. Wanna join me in the shower??? Mm mm mm
:KISSES:
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Soul Mate My Ass!
Remeber all that bs I said about having a soul mate in everything? Well, forget that I ever said that. I just recently discovered that monogamy is not only unnatural, but also IMPOSSIBLE. I constantly find myself wanting, needing, craving something else. So how can I be expected to be faithful to ONLY ONE thing when all these things keep calling my name and whispering sweet nothings in2 my ears? So you see, this is an impossible task.
By the way, for those that are lost and thinking, my God, how could Vera say that?!, I am not talking about a human soul mate like your partner/significant other, I am talking about a soul mate in everything else...like lotion, soap, deodorant, etc. OK, maybe I am the only one crazy enough to try and find my soul mate in everything sha, but a while ago, I thought I could. I have been using Olay Soap for a while, and I was sure it was my soul mate in soap, but then today, I fell for temptation. I bought Careess soap instead. In my defense, I am only trying the Caress, so after the trial period, I might continue using caress, or go back to Olay, or even try a completely different soap - who knows? I have been using Olay lotion for a while too, although I did fumble a week ago and began to dream about another lotion: Aveeno! Needless to say, I did not buy Aveeno, and I am still with my Olay Quench, and from the looks of it, I will not be buying Aveeno...@ least not anytime soon. I am back in love with Olay. I have to congratulate my self for still using the same deodorant (Secret). One might argue that it isn't the same one because I have changed fragrances, but at least they are all Secret, right? And besides (in my defense again), the only reason why I tried several ones was because when I went to buy the regular ones, they didn't have them, so I had to try something new. Right now, I'm using the Vanilla one, and I love it! It's a new fragrance and it is absolutely perfect!...until I fall for another one, of course.
Now, why do I feel like you're interested in all this garbage I just typed? I dunno really. I just feel like you might wanna know about my stuff. Be thankful I didn't start telling you about sanitary pads. But wait a minute! I have been using the same sanitary pads (Always) since I started needing them, i.e. mensturating. So, I guess I have been faithful and loyal to Always, right? I solemnly believe that I would never sway from using Always pads. They are the best - I don't care what anyone says. Hmmmm....so much for not telling you about my pads, huh? Seriously, when I typed that I wasn't gonna tell you about my pads, I meant it, but some how I got caught up in the moment. I remembered that I have been faithful to Always, and so I figured I needed to give myself a pat on the back for a job well done...don't you think so?
Oh well....I guess that's the end of my sermon - if you'd call it that, of course.
Have a mighty good day. I'm off to finish writing my short story, so I can send it off to the people I am writing it for.
:KISSES:
By the way, for those that are lost and thinking, my God, how could Vera say that?!, I am not talking about a human soul mate like your partner/significant other, I am talking about a soul mate in everything else...like lotion, soap, deodorant, etc. OK, maybe I am the only one crazy enough to try and find my soul mate in everything sha, but a while ago, I thought I could. I have been using Olay Soap for a while, and I was sure it was my soul mate in soap, but then today, I fell for temptation. I bought Careess soap instead. In my defense, I am only trying the Caress, so after the trial period, I might continue using caress, or go back to Olay, or even try a completely different soap - who knows? I have been using Olay lotion for a while too, although I did fumble a week ago and began to dream about another lotion: Aveeno! Needless to say, I did not buy Aveeno, and I am still with my Olay Quench, and from the looks of it, I will not be buying Aveeno...@ least not anytime soon. I am back in love with Olay. I have to congratulate my self for still using the same deodorant (Secret). One might argue that it isn't the same one because I have changed fragrances, but at least they are all Secret, right? And besides (in my defense again), the only reason why I tried several ones was because when I went to buy the regular ones, they didn't have them, so I had to try something new. Right now, I'm using the Vanilla one, and I love it! It's a new fragrance and it is absolutely perfect!...until I fall for another one, of course.
Now, why do I feel like you're interested in all this garbage I just typed? I dunno really. I just feel like you might wanna know about my stuff. Be thankful I didn't start telling you about sanitary pads. But wait a minute! I have been using the same sanitary pads (Always) since I started needing them, i.e. mensturating. So, I guess I have been faithful and loyal to Always, right? I solemnly believe that I would never sway from using Always pads. They are the best - I don't care what anyone says. Hmmmm....so much for not telling you about my pads, huh? Seriously, when I typed that I wasn't gonna tell you about my pads, I meant it, but some how I got caught up in the moment. I remembered that I have been faithful to Always, and so I figured I needed to give myself a pat on the back for a job well done...don't you think so?
Oh well....I guess that's the end of my sermon - if you'd call it that, of course.
Have a mighty good day. I'm off to finish writing my short story, so I can send it off to the people I am writing it for.
:KISSES:
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