Saturday, April 15, 2006

Weekend Update

Hey-ey!

The other day, I was goin 2 continue my talk about the custom built man, but I didn't really feel like it. But b4 I continue anyway, let me tell you about my weekend. I spent it in my aunt's house. I was supposed to braid her hair, but as usual, that never came to pass. That woman never stops making me laugh.

Back to the custom-built man: Wouldn't you like to have a man who knows your in and out? A man who knows the language of silence and unspoken words? A man who can smell your emotions a mile away? Before you open your mouth, he already knows what you're thinking. I mean, he's everything you've ever dreamed of...and more. You share private jokes and have secret signs that no one else (apart from God, of course) can understand. When you're in public, he doesn't have to tell you anything; when your eyes meet, you already know what's on his mind. A man that you have butterflies for @ any given time. Just imagining him as your husband makes you visibly blush. So special is he to you that you can't even show him to anyone. At the mere mention of his name, you smile from ear to ear. What do you call that? Love?

Mm mm mm. There are so many things I'm looking forward to. There are so many times I know I would stare people in the face and say "aha! You thought I wouldn't make it". But lemme keep that on the down low. I wouldn't wanna ruin the pleasant surprise that awaits everyone when I reveal all the things I have been keeping to myself. Oh boy!

G'Nite Diary,

I will be back tomorrow....to talk about the day our Lord Jesus Christ rose from the dead. Talk about Glory! It's indeed a Glorious event... don't u think? Pray for me that tomorrow holds all the promises I have envisioned, Amen.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Dear God

Dear God,

It may be really weird that I am using this medium to communicate to You, but I know You must have internet connection somewhere in Heaven. I mean, common God, we are in 2006. Please tell me You are up to date with technology. With all Your power, You must have wireless internet all over Your crib (Heaven).

Now, I know You already know why I am writing, but I will state it for the record. I am writing to beg for Your mercy, Grace and help in my upcoming plan. I know You know what it is, so I'm not gonna go in2 details. Lord, You alone know how much I need this, and frankly speaking, You alone can help me, so please God, do what You do best and open Your door of Blessings to me.

Father, You know me better than I know myself, and I know You know the things that have been jumping around in my head. Please grant me my heart desires, so I can do the things I wanna do. Grant me my heart desires, and all Glory will be given unto You. You know my dreams and my aspirations, so please help me, so I can achieve them. You know my strengths and weaknesses better than I do, so please, Lord, consider them when You Bless me abundantly.

I was born a sinner; always have been and always will be, but please don't judge me by my sins, but by the Faith I have in You. You said we should ask and we shall be given, so Lord, I am asking, and I am believing that You will not let me down. Thank you for listening (reading), Amen.

Good night, Lord

Your Daughter

Monday, April 10, 2006

Custom-Built Man

I have been thinking about writing an article about having a custom-built man, but I have not had the chance to because I have not been able to come up with satisfactory title, until now, that is. Don't ask me what it's about; if you care to know, you can always find out when I write the article.

So.... how was your weekend? I wonder why I'm asking how your weekend was; it's not like you have much of a life, if any. Well, I'll tell you about mine. You can live your life thru me; how about that? On saturday, I went to Funmie's house for the surprise party she planned for her junior sister, Seun. It was really nice, and I enjoyed it. Well, that's about it.

Back to this custom-built man thing. Have you ever felt like someone is specially made for you? I mean, like no matter where you go or where he/she goes, there never will be a perfect fit until you two are together...like a lock and key. I don't know... maybe I'm just letting my fantasies get the best of me, or maybe there is some truth (and possibility) to what I'm talking about. I don't wanna elaborate on this till I write my article; I don't want to be repeating myself like a broken record, so please, do check out my article when I write it. Of course I will let you know when I write it. You know the strange thing? I don't know who I'm talking to.

Well, i gotta go right now. I wanna go read a novel. Currently, I'm reading Married Men by Carl Weber. I'm done reading Baby Momma Drama by the same author, and now I'm reading a different book. He's good!

Ciao!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Sleepin' Day

Dear Diary,

I slept so much today that if I wasn't so damn sure of myself, I woulda thought I'm pregnant. I mean I kept on waking up and going back to bed and waking up and going back to bed and so on. But mehn, the sleep was good! It was that type of sleep that you never wanna wake up from. I had a lotta vivid dreams too, but I forgot all about them as soon as I woke up from each sleep-dream episode.

Yesterday, I went to the Library to return some books I borrowed, and borrow one, but instead, I came back with 13 of them. Ok, I have gat to stop doing this! I need to write my book... not read other people's books. They woulda neva gotten them on the shelves if they all they did was read other books. But then again, I guess I deserve a lil break every once in a while, right? Besides, I am a novel junkie. I can't seem to tear myself away from novels. It has always been like this since I was little. I remember in Nigeria, my mother actually got mad at me for reading too much too soon. She'd always say "stop reading them so fast! The books are expensive." It's funny thinking about it now. But thank God for the public Library that lets one borrow as many books as possible for FREE!!!

Right now, I'm reading Baby Momma Drama by Carl Weber. I just started it today, so I can't really tell how good it is (although I trust Carl to do a great job). It has 327 pages.

Can you believe I have a chem assignment which is due tomorrow, and I have not even started it? What time is it sef? Well, I'm gonna retire to my room and try my best to do the assignment, though I really don't feel like it. After that, I will read the novel till sleep finds me and takes me on a temporary journey into my dellusions.... you know how it it.

Good nite, Diary. It's not like you have to wake up tomorrow mornin'

Sweet dreams.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Aftermath Of A Party Weekend

Boy oh boy! Now that I look back on it, I think I wish I woulda done some things differently. But it's pretty futile for me to sit here and think of all the things I woulda, shoulda done differently. I mean, of what use is it for me to wish that I had taken my textbook to Sola's house? Of what use is it for me to wish that I had taken out the time to study for my chem exam tomorrow? On that note, I would even like to state a disclaimer: it really isn't my fault that I am lazy to read; she (my teacher) shouldn't have told us it was an open book exam!

Anyways, Sola's thanksgiving was great. It could have been better, but Sola is a very stubborn human being who refused to heed any of my advise. As they say, 'advise most needed is least heeded'. But I don't wanna go into details and put her business on the internet (although I woulda been more than happy to do so).

Uju and I went to Bare Feet Shoes again on saturday in search of the perfect shoes, but found nothing; well, at least I didn't. I want to buy a shoe so badly that I was ready to settle and take any shoe just for the sake of it, but I imagined the pair of shoes I picked to be a man, and then I remembered that I really would not settle for just 'any' man for the heck of it. So I had to drop the shoes; I didn't like them, and I didn't want to take them for the hell of it. Thank God I listened to my heart.

Anyways, on saturday night, we (Uju, Sola, Ibukun, and I) went for A.Y.'s surprise party for his fiancee, and it was a good party. I guess I was finally in need of a party tune up, and that's why I was in the party spirit, right? Or maybe it had to do with Uju playing loud party songs in her car on saturday on our way to the shoe store? Either way, I got the dance I very well deserved.

I'm gonna go wash the dishes right now (even though it's pretty late). After that, I will work on my "Project 2007"... and don't ask me what it is. When it's time, you will know. By His Grace, it will be ready in the summer of 2007. Shout a big 'Amen' for me, please.

AMEN!!!

Friday, March 31, 2006

Friday - Friday

Dear Diary,

It's been several days since I last updated you; not because I didn't wanna, but because I had nothing to say. Even now as I type, I don't really have much to say; in fact, I don't have anything to say.

A.Y's fiancee, Yemisi has finally come to America, and A.Y couldn't be happier. He's having a surprise get-together for her tomorrow. A.Y. always has a reason to throw a party, lol. I remember when he threw an after party for a baby shower; that was simply hillarious. Until that day, I had neither heard of nor attended a baby shower after-party, but it was fun anyway. That was the day Uju forgot she had a boyfriend. Gosh, what memories I have to share with my kids (when I have them, of course). I still don't know if I'm going or not; it all depends on Uju really. If I dare to tell her know this time, I would really be in trouble. She will really kick my ass to the curb this time. Besides, A.Y. is our friend, and I know he would come for me if I was celebrating something. Hmmmm, but then, Sola would be mad that I'm leaving her house sha. Men, this isn't easy at all. How am I supposed to make a decision?

Tomorrow night, I'm going to sleep in sola house, so I can get ready for the Thanksgiving on sunday. Oh my, I haven't even bought the shoes I need! Geez, I need to go shopping tomorrow. Why didn't I just buy that pair I saw on Monday?

Anyways, before I bore you into not even visiting my blog anymore, I guess I should stop right here. I need to go take a shower right now. No, I do not stink! I cooked some stew and I feel like I smell of food, which I really don't like. So I'm gonna go take a much deserved shower, put some shimmering lotion on, and Bless myself with some perfume. Ok, one more confession: I think in addition to being a shoe junkie, I have also become a perfume junkie. I just can't get enough!

Shoot, I need to go pack my bag for tomorrow. Yes, I know I'm only spending on nite, but hmmmm, a girl can never be too ready!

G'nite

Monday, March 27, 2006

And I Thought I Loved Shoe-Shoppin'

Okay, up to today, I have been proudly and confidently telling all who cared to listen that shoe shopping is my thing, but when I went to Bare Feet Shoes today to look for a pair of shoes (only one pair o!), I was ready to lose me Blessed mind. I mean, dayum! The ones I liked didn't come in my size (I wear a nine). It was either a size 7 or size 11..... aarrggghhhh. I could have managed 8 1/2 or 9 1/2 but 7 and 11? Nah men. Not possible. I'd have 2 shave half of my feet off to fit in2 a size 7 or magically add some meat to fit an 11. It's just not fair!

I had planned on going to DSW if Bare Feet Shoes didn't work out, but mehn.... I was just too tired. See, that's one of the good things about being a celebrity. If I were a celebrity, my assistant(s) would only bring me shoes that are my perfect size, so I would not have to suffer going from aisle 2 aisle lookin @ different shoes and then looking for them in size nine. Darn it! Anyways, lemme come back 2 reality 4 now.

I hope to resume my search for a shoe on saturday. Why am I looking for a shoe? Well, Sola is having a thanxgivin service on sunday, so I wanna be lookin fly. Now, you'd think that Sola's thanxgivin is a big event, but it really isn't. I just want an excuse 2 have a new shoe. Yeah, I said it!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Update On Visit To The Club

I was gonna update you yesterday on the status of the club visit my girls made without me. Apparently, they got there after hours of dressing up, but for some reason (which I am not gonna mention online in order not to embarrass them - Haha!), they had to leave. Thank God I wasn't there. You see, what can I say? Things just aren't the same without me.

Now, remember the movie, Phat Girls that I told you about? It was supposed to come out in February, but now it's coming out on the 7th of April. You bet your ass I'll be there! I found another website for the movie, and they even have a link for Naija! When you click on the link, you learn quite a lot about Naija and there is even a link for nollywood. Sho!!! Story don pass town-cryer mouth o! Of course, as a proper naija girl, you know I was... and still am impressed.

To check out the link I have been ranting about, click here

You will be happy to learn that I did some writing yesterday. I am so proud of myself, you have no idea. Anyways, I think that's all for now. I doubt if I have anything else to add.

Bye

Friday, March 24, 2006

Lawd Deliver Me From Uju

How on earth did I get on Uju's bad side? And more importantly, how long will she count my act against me? Uju and I don't really have misunderstandings like that; not that we never have, or that we agree on everything, but somehow, we just don't have misunderstandings like that. We understand each other on a different level. For one thing, we are the only Igbos in our cirlce of friends. Well, actually, there are three of us, but the third girl (Toha) isn't always there.

Now, lemme xplain how I got on Uju's bad side today. Remember I told you about Funmi's two friends from Boston? Well, we were all supposed to hang out today like we did yesterday, but I would not have been caught dead in a club. Here's one thing about me: I love parties, but I am unable to attend them all the time. I mean, the only way it can be fun for me is if I go for a parrty once in a blue moon. With that being said, the last time I went for a party was on my birthday (14th Jan), and as of now, I don't feel like going for a party yet. My cousin, Arinze is always saying I am dry, but I just can't force the 'party spirit' unless I am well due for a party tune-up.

Another thing is that I hate, or rather, dislike clubs. I don't know why, but something about being in the midst of so many strangers grinding up on each other, and me running the risk of having my ass felt by a drunk moron just gives me the heebie-jeebies. I mean, when I go for a party, I go buck wild! Well, maybe not buck wild, but I do get my groove on; I cannot afford to let an outfit and an hour of make-up go to waste.

Now why am I talking about parties and clubs? Well, Funmi, or rather Funmi's friends from Boston wanna experience the Baltimore club scene (not that I feel there is anything to be felt!), but I told her from the get-go that I had no intention of draggin my ass down to a party, talk less of a club. For whatever reason, Uju tried to convince me to go (since she's going too). She begged and begged and I honestly felt bad for refusing to even consider the prospect. Now, she has made a mental note of it.... damn. If I were a guy, this would be the time I would go out and buy flowers for her, but since I'm not a guy....how am I supposed to appease her then?

I know Uju might be feeling a bit lonely at the club cause she'll be the only Igbo girl among the bunch that are going. Not to sound @ all tribal, but when these Yoruba folks get together, they speak Yoruba from A-Z... not @ all minding that there is a non-Yoruba person in their midst. I've learnt to live with it, I guess (do I really have a choice?), but having Uju with me has always been a huge cushion cause more times than I can remember, I always get lost. Sometimes I find myself wondering "why the hell am I even here?" Don't even lemme talk about when they start watching Yoruba movies and asking me if I understand. Duh! I enjoy their (Funmi & co) company and all, but damn, can a sistah get a language break?!

Uju, I hope you read this sha, and when you do, just know that I am truly sorry. You can see how sorry I am cause I am writing this on my blog and risking getting some inquisitive emails from Naija men asking "I don't mean to sound rude, but are you gay? 'Cause if you are, that would really be a waste". Mama G (Uju), you know I gat nothing but love for you.

And before I get any of those redundant emails... NO, I AM NOT GAY!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Out With The Girls...And Then Some!

Welllllll, today Uju and I went to Funmi's house, so we could hang out with two friends from Boston, Ibitayo and Seun (both females). Funmi said we should be at her house at 3pm, but it was 2:21pm when I went to take a shower (and Uju still hadn't taken a shower by that time). We were at Funmie's house @ or before 4pm, but by the time we left Funmi's house, it was past 5, or maybe almost 6pm.

We went to the Inner Habor in Baltimore, which is a tourist attraction site, and we played some fun games @ ESPN Zone. After that, we walked around downtown Baltimore for a while. By the way, there were nine of us: Me, Uju, Funmi, Jennifer, Ibukun, Ibitayo, Seun, Pelumi (Funmi's brother), and Kola (Funmie's cousin). After that, we went to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Before that, I thought I was hungry, but damn, as soon as I got my plate of food, I got full b4 eating it. Nevertheless, I forced myself to eat it, and while I was eating, I kept telling myself "it's a sin to overeat!", but did that stop me? Nope!

Well, that was pretty much all I did for the day. Thank God I woke up early and did my homework cause right now, I feel so freakin' drunk, and all I had was punch!! Punch oh! Can you believe it? Just punch! So why am I feeling so dizzy? I feel like everything is double... chei! The people @ the all-you-can-eat buffet musta drugged my drink or something cause I feel sooooo tipsy. And I haven't felt this way since.......... well, let's leave that aloone for now.

Anyways, good-nite 4 now, diary.

Gatz 2 go 2 bed

Gat skul 2morrow.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Really Have Nothing 2 Say

I am not updating this diary because I really have something to say, or because I really feel like updating it, but because I feel like I am obligated to do so.

So what's new with me? Well Uju went to see her doctor who told her that I gave her the stomach virus... did I tell you that already? Anyway, my plan to give the virus to Ibukun and Funmi did not work @ all... can you imagine that? Try as I might to spread this generous disease, they both refused to catch it. In fact, hold on a second, I'm gonna call Ibukun to ask her if she has the disease.

*20 seconds later* Well, she did not pick up, but I left her a page; however, I don't think she got it anyways. She woulda called me to curse me out if she got it, but she didn't call, so I know my plan failed.

I really should be writing my book right now, but instead I wanna go read someone else's book: Carl Weber's "So You Call Yourself A Man". Don't you think it's stupid of me to be reading someone else's book, while mine is in limbo? Shouldn't I be worrying and obsessing over my book? It's official: I'm suffering from writer's block, which really isn't a new thing to me; it happens every once in a while, but damn! I wanna finish this book. I need other people to read my book; I need to see my book on the shelves of bookstores all over the world. Is that too big of a dream? Well, I've got to dream big to win big, right?

Oh look.... and I thought I had nothing to say, lol. Oh well, goodnite for now. I will be back tomorrow, by His Grace.

Hmm, I really NEED that laptop!

Monday, March 20, 2006

Is It My House?

This weekend started off great, or at least normal. Uju had (still has) a cold, so she left work early saturday night and came to my house hoping to transmit the cold to me (what a good friend she is, right?). Anyway, she watched some Nigerian movies she brought, and I catered to her to the best of my ability; I fried plantain and made egg-stew for her as she requested and I brought her pillows to be comfortable (what a great friend I am, right? I know!). Yesterday (Sunday) morning however, she started complaining of stomach pain. At first, I thought it was just some minor pain, but she started crying and told me she was feeling nauseous, so I asked her where the pain was and she pointed 2 it. It was xactly where my pain was, so I was like "uh oh"

I gave her the medication I took anyway, and for a brief moment, she seemed to be feelin better (just like it happened 2 me). Next thing I knew, she got up and ran to the bathroom to throw up. She threw up all the plantain she ate the night before (wat a waste of plantain!). After that, she felt better... for a few minutes before the pain came back. She resorted to lying on the bathroom floor and crying... and spittin occasionally...just like I did when I was sick.

I concluded she had the stomach virus like I did... or maybe she had ulcer like I thought I might have had. Anyways, @ a point, she couldn't take d pain anymore, she my mother called 911. They came in less than 10 minutes (I don't think they knew we were black), then they checked her and told her it was probably just a stomach virus that has been going around. They told her to just rest and let the virus run its course.

After that she decided to go home, so I went with her to watch her. I planned on comin home in the night, but I decided to stay, and I am happy (even proud) to say that she is feeling much better today. Thank God!

So I'm wondering... is there something in my house? I mean, why didn't she get the virus before coming to my house? It doesn't make sense, does it? Is it my house? I have 2 bring a pastor 2 bind the virus outta my house... 4 real.

On the plus side, Funmi and Ibukun are coming over my house today, and I hope they both get infected (yes, I said it!). They deserve it (yes, I said it again!). I want them to have it; I wanna see them bend over in pain. Is that an evil plan? Whatever!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Soul Mate In Everything

Yesterday, I went to Walmart with my mother to do some lil shopping; in fact the main reason I went there was to get a new lotion. You see, I have this thing about me; I am always looking for my soul mate in everything: partners, lotion, toothpaste, soap, toothbrush, hair creme, mouthwash, etc...it goes on.

Lately, I have been tryna find my soul mate in lotion, so I went to Walmart's lotion aisle. I had gone there previously a week before, and I tried all the lotions, and I narrowed my "spectrum of possible soulmates" to two lotions: dove & olay.So when I went there yesterday, I had the intention of making my choice bw Olay & Dove. I tried them both; I rubbed them both between my palms, I smelt them, I read the contents on the back, I considered their names (Olay, weighing more). I had Olay on the left side and Dove on my right side, so I stood in the middle of the aisle thinking about what to do. To me, this was a serious decision; I mean, how often does one get to make such a choice?

@ this point, my mother was irritable, so she said "Nne, pick one quick let's leave! I'm sleepy."
And I said, "Mom, don't be in such a hurry. Be patient. Picking this lotion is a life-altering and emotional event for me. You don't xpect me to go pickin any lotion all willy-nilly!"
Well, I could tell from the look in her eyes that she did not find my humor so humorous; if anything, she was ready to forget her hands on my face.

Anyways, finally, I went with Olay.When night came, I could not wait to take a shower! Not because I wanted to, but because I had a new lotion, and I was just dying to use it, so I did. After I rubbed the lotion, it felt so... perfect, and I was thinking to myself "this lotion is too perfect; something has to be wrong with it. It's just a matter of time b4 I figure out what it is". After I got dressed, I sat at my computer, and when I looked at my palms, they had some glitter in them. Crap, the Olay lotion had glitter. I hate glitter!

But there it was, the flaw my lotion undisputably had. At first I sat down there wondering how on earth I was going to deal with a big bottle of lotion that has been infested with glitter, and I could not even begin to fathom it. I could see the glitter on my thighs too, and for a minute, I hated it. But then, when I looked at it later, I liked it. In fact, I fell in love with my Olay.

Now, what't the point of this Olay story? The point is that I want my human soul mate to be the same. I don't want him to be without flaws (not that it's even an option), but I do want to be able to live with (and be happy with) the flaws...just like my Olay lotion. In the same manner, I want to find my soul mate in everything too. You understand what I mean?Well, with that being said, my body deserves some Olay (so I better go hit the showers!)

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Lady In Red

Dear Diary,

I am currently doing what I have been trying to do for the past 2 weeks: I'm writing my book... yay! I have not gone far though; I started with page 50. Let's see how far I would go by the end of the day.

I'm listening to a song (Chris De Burgh's Lady In Red), and I am loving it! I have been imagining myself in a red dress, and some handsome, romantic guy telling me some sweet words and following me with his eyes all thru the evening... but I guess I better get a grip, and a huge dose of reality...esp if the guy I'm imagining is Nigerian. While I'm at that, I should get one big order of gurl-what-the-heck-are-you-smoking? that would last me for eternity and then some. Anyhoo, I'm in love with this song. I remember in Nigeria, when I was younger, and I used to dance to this song with my cousin, Ngozi (who is just like an older sista 2 me). So you see, my cravings for love and romance didn't just start today.

A lot of my readers have been asking me for my picture, but I am not yet ready to let anyone see it, however some people have been bent on seeing it come hell or high water.... all the way from Naija oh! Some1 emailed me from Naija and apparently he knows someone that is engaged to some1 that knows me, and he said he is determined to see my picture. Let's see how successful he will be.

Oh, this Lady In Red song sef, it makes me think. It makes me hungry...not for food, but for the love that consumes. Is that possible? Or am I just being creative? I truly wonder if it is possible 2 be so in love that it consumes you. The thought of your significant other just makes you go kuku, and you just have to have him/her. I wonder if it's possible, or if it's just something that an imaginative mind like mine has made up to feed the naïve and gullible hearts like mine. Either way, I still crave it. I dream it. I want it. I can envision it, but then again, I can envision just about anything, so it doesn't really count. I can envision Obasanjo in a mini skirt, tube top, stiletto hills, and a blonde weave, so if I can envision that, anything is possible.

Hmmmmm.... lady in red. You know what I just realised? I need a red dress! Yes, I do. I need a red dress. I need a red dress. Why am I saying it over and over? Maybe if I say it a little more, it will manifes itself in my wardrobe... or what do you think?

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Ok, maybe I spoke too soon

I had to wake up @ 5am this morning because I was in pain again. I'm really starting to think there are some stomach demons flying around @ 5am because for the past three days, I have been waking up at five. Ok, a day before yesterday, I woke up @ 6, but what's the difference? Anyways, I was supposed to go to church with my mother, but mennnn, the pain was too much. Before I knew what was going on, I was slumped over in pain and crying. I'm not a cry baby oh! Maybe I cry @ almost all the movies I watch, but I am not a cry baby! Anyways, I couldn't go to Church, so I stayed in my mother's bed (hey! she's still my mommmy! haha)

I'll tell you the truth, while my mother was gone to Church, I kept asking God why he let me be this sick; I asked him if I committed any sin that no1 else has ever committed, but he just gave me the silent treatment. In fact, I think I heard him laughing at me. Anyways, before my mother left, she said I may be suffering from ulcer, so when she left, I opened up my medical dictionary to look up the symptoms, and unfortunately, I do have the symptoms. But you know what saddened me the most? The fact that if I have ulcer, it means I am not supposed to eat spicy foods and fatty foods; ok, I can deal with not eating fatty foods (I shouldn't be eating it anyways), but not eating spicy foods? Oh, Lord! Is that even humanly possible? Do you know how good Funmie's peppery egwusi soup is? What about my future plans to go to Naija and eat all the suya I can? And what about my very tasty, spicy okro (& ogbono) soup? I weep @ the thought of life without spicy food. God, as far as I am concerned, I can report this to the law officials of America; this is a cruel & unusual punishment!

But food aside sha, I have another assignment due tomorrow. I have to read this drama (called 'trifles'), and answer a buncha questions. On the plus side, it seems like an interesting drama. Maybe I should learn how to write drama; well, maybe later. I don't wanna become a jack of all trades and master of none, although I don't mind being the former...without being the latter, of course.

So Diary, I see you have been getting a lot of visitors, huh? Na u oh, biko! One of these days, we will find you a husband on the blog. Just tell me who (abi what) your type is, and I will hook you up.

Anyways, goodnite 4 now. We go yarn tomorrow.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Feelin A Lot Betta

Hi Diary,

I feel a lot better today; I ran to the pharmacist @ Wal-Mart today and asked her if she had any recommendations for my stomach virus, and she recommended a medication, which I am now taking. I am happy to say that I feel better. It's not completely gone, but I do feel better.

I have to share this funny story; one of the wonderful guys that wrote me about my latest article wrote me today (after reading my online diary) to make fun of me for not owning a lap top. He even went further to tell me he was writing from his own lap top. Ha-ha. I found that very funny. Funmie was here too and she laughed her head off. Simi (Folabi Oluwasuyi), if you are reading this, then I guess you were right about one this: I dey yaaap oh! Haha.

Anyways, right now, I'm gonna go offline and join Funmi to watch a Nigerian movie that unfortunately has 3 parts. What is wrong with our Naija people sef? 3 parts? Why now? By His Grace, I would be able to write my book tomorrow (since my computer is working now). Funmie came to visit me today (as per the stomach virus et all), and she brought me yoghurt (cause that's all I've been able to eat without throwing up) and fishroll. Isn't she sweet? She constantly denies it, but abeg, it's quite obvious she's in love with me. And no! She is not gay and neither am I; just thought I should clear that up before I get another email questioning my sexuality (which needs not to be questioned!!)

Nite Diary

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Under The Weather

Dear Diary,

Help me thank God oh, cause I have finally fixed my computer. Whew, that was a close one! I had to do a system recovery (again!), then I installed an anti-virus thing, and a spy ware thing, so now, the pc is working perfectly. Now, this is the pc I fell in love with.

I have not been feeling too good; I have been having serious stomach aches, and I have been throwing up too (I think I have a stomach virus...perhaps, I got the trojan virus my pc had, but I doubt it). I have not been really able to hold anything in, and because of that, I've been scared to eat. All I've been eating for the past two days is tea, yoghurt, fruits, water and milk. Yeap, it's basically been a liquid diet for me. By the way, before you start wondering anything, I am NOT pregnant. And if one more person asks me that question........!!!! My bestfriend, Sola, was on the phone with me an hour ago when my stomach ache started again, and she was so scared because of the way I was groaning in pain that she wanted to call 911 for me. Haha. She's so caring. Well, I drank some salt water, and I feel better right now. I hope it does not start again 'cause when it does, it is really distracting.

I still have not started my exam anyways, but I will start it right now cause it's due in about six hours, and I cannot turn it in late. Thank God for online classes sha. I checked my email to find out that I have 34 new mails (just for today oh!), but I don tire sef, so I will read them after I finish my exam cause I doubt if my professor will understand when I tell her that I could not finish my exam because I was replying emails. Well, I will get to it (the emails) soon.

I have thought about sending an automated response to the beautiful people that read my articles, but I just feel like it's too impersonal. I mean, if I take out the time to read someone's piece, and even take out more time to send an email to the author, then I think I would appreciate a real response... abi how you take see am? Anyways, that's by the way.

I've gotta go now. You know I will keep you posted. The way I always refer to you as if you're human, one would think I am really starting to lose my mind. Well, according to Uju, writers are psychos anyway (not that I am saying I am psycho or anything oh!)

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Lawd, Have Mercy!!!

Dear Diary,

I have reached my limit with my computer oh. Anybody that knows that computer should better go and warn him or her or it, before I will vex and just wound it beyond recognition.

Yesterday, I checked my mail (after much effort), and the thing said I had 32 new mails, and I thought, it had to be a mistake. I mean, I always get mails and all, but considering how many times I check it each day, I did not expect to be having that many mails at once. Anyways, turns out they were all regarding my new article "All Hail The Inter-Galactic Force Of Girlfriends", and I was truly pleased. In fact, I think I was blushing.

I was perplexed as to why so many guys were emailing me and asking to be introduced to my beautiful friends; some of the men were even specific, as they said "I want the first one...", and I was thinking....what the hell? Is there a picture of me online that I have not seen? Lo and behold, the publisher of Nigeria World put a picture of six black girls next to my article. The publisher also made a mistake and put my location as Canada, so I got a lot of Canadians asking me how the weather in B.C was. At first, I was thinking, 'ah ah, does Baltimore have a new name?', but mba, it was just a mistake on the publisher's part.

Anyways, today, I turned on my computer, and what did I see? It had become worse sef. Hmm, this computer is toying with my emotions. It/he/she obviously doesn't know my true color oh! I am @ my aunt's house right now, and God, her lap top is like a breath of fresh air. I remember just 2 months ago when I was making fun of my aunt's windows 98 that just sat in the basement like a box. The thing no gree do anything oh. Common type sef, e no gree do. But anyways, I am now in the same predicament, but I put my hope in God to perform a miracle before I lose my Blessed mind.

So how have you been? I see that your web counter has increased. I guess we got some admirers visiting us huh? Can you believe that I have been on this lap top since about 4pm? And guess what I've been doing? Yeap, replying mails! I got more mails today from my happy and satisfied readers. Nawa O. I pray God Blesses all of them with their heart desires, and Bless me too (with the lap top I have been fantasizing about). I mean, how can a writer not have a lap top? Tufia kwa!

Anyways, I gotta go off now, and do my exam. Yes, I have a Lit exam that is due at 9pm tomorrow, and I have not even started. Oh well. God dey, jare!

Regarding my article, some of the readers were wondering how come I did not talk of any friends I had before 2000; I guess I can understand where they are coming from sha. Oh well, you know where they are, don't you? Let's let sleeping dogs lie, right? Needless to say, I miss them too, and I have been thinking a lot about them, but that's a different story. Some day, we will all get together again, don't you think?

Bye for now. Gotta check my other email addresses and also check Talk Naija. Man pikin don tire men.

Thoughts....

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Sunday Mornin' - New Week

Dear Diary,

I'd like to start by thanking God for allowing me to see yet another week. Then I'd like to say how disappointed I am in myself that I did not reach page 60 (of my book) as I planned to. In fact, I am still on page 49, but you see, this is not entirely my fault...if @ all. That silly computer of mine has been misyarning a lot; it keeps shutting down on it's own, which makes me unable to write confidently (for fear that the computer will shut down and all my data would be lost). Once beaten, twice shy (did I tell you about the first book I was writing that got lost?)

So I've been thinking... you know I do not have a job (don't ask why), but I do have skills however, you know? Funmie asked me yesterday why I don't charge for braiding hair (Yes, I'm good @ braiding hair too...so many Blessings I have right? I know), and I thought to myself "why don't you charge for braiding hair?" Anyways, the verdict now is that I think I will have to call back all my hair customers, so I can make money off them. That way I can buy a lap top and my desktop computer can kiss my laptop-owning behind. Watchu think about that? I know u think it's a good idea too.

I'm @ my aunt's house right now to braid her hair (no, I'm not charging her!), and I have been here since yesterday, and still have not started the hair. Don't ask me why... my aunt is just a funny person; you should meet her, she's absolutely wonderful. Anyways, I am on her lap top and loving every second of it, which is why I am even more determined to get mine. An aspiring writer like myself should own a laptop to herself, don't u think? I think so too! Let's just say laptops are technology's gift to writers... do I hear an Amen? Thank you.

I told you yesterday that I was doing my Lit assigment, and indeed I was, but I am still not done. I have seven pieces to read, and four of them, I have to answer questions to. So far I have read four out of the seven, and have answered two out of the four, so you see, I am making progress. As soon as I send this piece, I will start (or rather continue) with the fifth piece. I gotta say, I feel really Blessed this morning, although (shame on me) I have not even said said hi to His Royal Highness (God). Perhaps, I should do that right now.

Bye 4 now diary. If I have made any errors in my posting, please bear with me. I am a rather fast typer... I think, and I have no desire to proof-read for errors... shey u get?

Saturday, March 04, 2006

The Love I Crave

Yesterday, I went on a movie date with my girls, Sola and Funmie...and this other friend, Saheed (a guy) We watched "Madea's Family Reunion" (preview here), and at the end of the movie, we were all in serious tears (except Saheed, of course, unless he was crying and wiping the tears off before we got to see it, but I doubt it). The love that was talked about in the movie just made all us cry...cause none of us were (are) getting it; romantic love, that is. Now maybe the movie may have portrayed love to be better than it really is, but honestly speaking, I seriously doubt it. Sometimes I think of lesbians and I feel like I can understand that one reason for being a lesbian is that no one can understand a woman as much as another woman can, but then, that's not the way God intended for it to be. Adam and Eve, people. Just Adam and Eve.

Now, what kind of love do I want? I want the Adam whose rib God has put in me. Do you get it? I mean, I want the man that completes me (and I don't mean for that to sound like a cliche @ all but that's how I feel). I want that man that will always be mine, no matter when, how or where. I want that man that is mine, and all mine. Mine! That's what I want; I want mine. I need that man that is my other half in the body of a man.

Needless to say, Madea's Family Reunion is a wonderful movie, and I would recommend it to anyone; it's a great movie, and I give Tyler Perry a standing ovation for a wonderful work done. The guy truly is Blessed. Amen to that!

Bye 4 now, Diary. Gotta go read for my Literature class.

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